I Want You Back

by Lorelei James

  “I will. And, Mom? Thanks.”

  As soon as she was gone, I picked up my phone and checked the Lakeside app to see if there was free ice.

  Then I realized after Thursday’s meeting I could demand ice time whenever the hell I felt like it. Luckily I wouldn’t have to do that today. Two hours from now the rink would be empty, and I couldn’t wait to be on it.

  * * *

  • • •

  I told Margene to lock the door after she left for the night.

  I skated onto the ice, warming up stiff muscles. Breathing in that familiar scent of cold. Hearing the scrape of my skates and the overhead blowers.

  In all the Saturday nights I’d spent in ice arenas, it’d never been like this: just me.

  Playing hockey with yourself isn’t as fun as playing with a team or even one-on-one. But playing hockey with myself was better than not playing hockey at all. I ran speed drills, forward and backward. I shot the puck across the blue line and chased it down. I nailed a couple of slap shots and wristers. I used the posts to bank it in. With each shot on goal I felt the tension leaving me, along with massive perspiration.

  I took a breather and drained a bottle of water. When I faced the ice, another skater had joined me.

  What the fuck?

  Gabi removed her helmet and smirked at me. “You like playing with yourself, Stonewall?”

  I shrugged. “It’s the only time I have decent competition.”

  “Ooh. Burn. Prove it. Let’s play a little one-on-one and see who comes out on top.”

  “You don’t wanna play with me, Welk.”

  She skated away from me backward, toward center ice. “Sure I do. That’s why I’m out here and suited up.” She popped her helmet back on. “Unless you’re afraid of being shown up by a woman.”

  “In your dreams, North Dakota,” I retorted. “I’m not playing you. I’d squash you like a bug.”

  Stick in hand, she gestured to the empty arena. “No one here but us. Wait. What’s that I hear?” She pretended to cock her head. “Is that . . . clucking?”

  Oh hell no.

  I reached her before she made a single cluck. “Fair warning that I won’t go easy on you because you’re a girl.”

  “Fair warning that I won’t go easy on you because you’re an overconfident male.”

  I held the puck out, she slapped it out of my hand and she immediately controlled it.

  But I caught her and forced her away from the net with a shoulder shove, flipping the puck outside of my blade, pushing it forward as I raced to the other goal.

  Gabi caught me on the left side, stealing the puck and skating around the backside of the net, coming out on the right along the boards.

  I bodychecked her. Not full strength, but enough to knock the puck lose.

  That hit didn’t even faze her.

  The little shit reached the puck before I did and whizzed around the backside again, coming forward in a zigzag pattern. I blocked her first shot, snagged the puck and cut her off as I zipped down center ice, and took the slap shot.

  I raised my arms in victory.

  She waited in the face-off circle and smacked her blade on the ice.

  “One, zip, North Dakota,” I crowed.

  “Quit yapping, Gopher, and drop the puck.”

  I dropped it, she got it and she showcased her stickhandling skills as she played keep-away, a one-on-one training drill I recognized, trying to mesmerize me into watching the puck.

  Nice try, girlie. It won’t work.

  When I brought my stick out, I might’ve hooked her skate and sent her sprawling.

  And when she caught me on the backside of the net, she might’ve high-sticked me.

  The demon in her eyes said, No refs, no rules, no regrets.

  She was a helluva player, but I tricked her with a deke and scored goal number two.

  We skated side by side to the players’ bench where we’d left our water bottles. Once we could hold a conversation, she said, “Wanna go best three out of five?”

  I laughed. “Glutton for punishment today?”

  She smacked me on the arm. “Now I’m warmed up, old man.”

  That’s when I heard a commotion and turned around to see a group of guys moving into the spectator seats. I squinted at them, but I sure as hell wasn’t hallucinating.

  My brother and my cousins Walker, Brady and Ash plopped down like they were here to watch a game.

  When Gabi said, “Who are they?” I knew she had nothing to do with them being here.

  Then that tall Swede, known as the Hammer, also known as my cousin Annika’s husband, skated onto the ice. And the cocky bastard wore his goddamned Wild uniform.

  The jerk sprayed us with ice as he came to a stop.

  He granted me a smirking once-over—I was in all-black practice clothes, wearing none of my team’s logo—and said, “No team pride? Sad day, dude.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  He skated away, leaving me no choice but to follow him.

  Gabi trailed behind.

  I looked at Nolan and each of my cousins. “You’re a little late for an intervention. It’s been over three years since I’ve had a drop.”

  “Yeah, if we would’ve known then what we know went down now, we would’ve intervened a lot fucking sooner,” Walker said.

  Nolan elbowed him. Hard. “Shut it.”

  “Why are you here?”

  Axl spoke up. “Because his wife”—he pointed at Brady—“is making the PR department work at LI on a Saturday. There’s no game tonight, today’s practice was for pussies, and my wife isn’t home. I’ve got a lot of pent-up energy to get rid of. I heard you were here, skating around lost and alone, so I thought I’d kill time and show you up.” He grinned. “Win-win for me, loser.”

  “You’re on.” I looked at Nolan. “Mom called you?”

  Brady said, “No. Aunt Edie called Lucy to tell her that she and Uncle Archer had Mimi overnight. She mentioned you were here, Annika and Lennox overheard and they passed it on to us.”

  “We’re here for the bloodbath,” Ash said, rubbing his hands together. “So get to it.”

  I looked at Axl. “You won’t get in trouble for this?”

  “Not if no one knows.”

  All eyes zoomed to the one unknown: Gabi.

  “My lips are sealed, but dude, there is no way I’m missing Hammer versus Stonewall.”

  “What are you doing here anyway?” Nolan demanded. “I thought Jax was playing alone?”

  Gabi looked at me. “Is Mr. Fancy Pants ever not a rude asshole?”

  Everyone laughed. Nolan was the least assholish guy of all of us.

  I shrugged. Then I looked at Axl. “Full out?”

  He grinned. “Ain’t no other way to play, old-timer. Let’s do this.”

  Gabi volunteered to drop the puck, and she reminded us of the one-on-one rules—which varied from club to club, but it was basically don’t be an asshole and take the long shot every time.

  We skated to the center ice face-off circle, and I happened to look over at my family.

  “What the hell, Walker? Are you wearing a . . . Hammerquist jersey?”

  “Yep.” Walker pointed at Brady, who also wore one. “Gotta support our sister’s man.”

  “Annika made you wear them, didn’t she?”

  Brady said, “Yeah. She’s scary as shit when she’s in hockey-wife mode. Oh, and Jensen said to tell you if he was here he’d be wearing a Detroit jersey to show he’s neutral.”

  “He’s an idiot if he’s a Detroit fan,” Gabi sneered.

  I held my glove out for a fist bump.

  Then I saw Nolan and Ash were both wearing my old jersey. They each gave me a cheesy thumbs-up.

  “We gonna stand around or is the ass-kicking
gonna start?” Axl demanded.

  “Start it.”

  In my pro years, once I was on the ice or on the bench, everything outside of the game ceased to exist. I was singularly focused. That competitive spirit hadn’t left me, but it had mellowed. I could’ve knocked Axl on his ass several times and I didn’t. Dick move to prove I still could, and I wouldn’t take the chance on injuring him no matter how full out we were playing.

  But ultimately his defensive skills kept me from scoring—lucky fucker got in two shots—and playing him, a guy in his prime damn near a decade younger than me, just reminded me why I’d retired.

  Yet, being on the ice with a player of his caliber also made me realize how much I missed playing. I couldn’t be the only former NHL player who longed for a game.

  There were senior leagues and men’s leagues I could join. Ego aside, it wouldn’t be fair to play with those guys, even though I knew some semipro guys did. Just like with coaching, I didn’t want the time commitment of joining a league. I wanted to round up old warhorses like me, who wanted to play for fun.

  That was something I’d look into now that I had a vested interest.

  Axl clapped me on the back as we skated back over to where the Lunds sat.

  “You didn’t show off too much, Axl, but you beat this old man and I’m beat. Skating with kids . . . no comparison.”

  “Speaking of . . . when can we come to one of Mimi’s hockey games?” Walker asked. “Is it true you’re coaching?”

  I looked at Gabi. She gave a slight shake of her head. For some reason it didn’t feel right to discuss Mimi’s emotions about me coaching her team or disclose what had gone down at the meeting since it affected the Lakeside staff and we hadn’t talked to them yet. “I’m the temporary coach. It’s still up in the air as to who will take over and when.”

  “We haven’t been introduced,” Ash said to Gabi. “I’m Ash Lund. Jax’s cousin. And you are?”

  “Not buying your charm, cuz, if she’s not buying mine,” Nolan said crossly.

  Gabi removed her hand from her glove and offered it to Ash. “Pleasure to meet you, Ash. I’m Gabi Welk.” Then she offered her hand to Walker and Brady. “You Lunds really are all for one and one for all like Jensen warned me.”

  “You met our little brother Jensen?” Walker said.

  “When we were over at Jax’s place in Snow Village. I’m not a huge football fan because . . . hockey, but it was cool to meet The Rocket.”

  A phone buzzed and Brady pulled his cell out. “Workday is over. Lennox is on her way home. Later, guys.”

  Before I could ask Brady how Lennox was feeling, Axl piped up, “That means Annika is out of there too. Thanks for the game. See ya.”

  “Anytime.”

  Gabi skated to the women’s locker room, and it was just me, Ash, Nolan and Walker.

  I pointed at Walker’s phone. “No urgent messages from Trinity?”

  “Nah. Liam has been crabby and teething all week. Trin probably crashed. She’s tired.” He smiled. “Since she’s pregnant again.”

  “Christ, Walker, Liam is barely a year old.”

  “I know. We want to have our kids close together. Wasn’t planned, but whatcha gonna do?”

  I muttered, “Climb off her?”

  “Never,” Walker said with a laugh. “Besides, she loves being a mom.”

  That made me think of Lucy. She was a great mom, but she’d never been one of those “I can’t wait to have kids” kind of women. Our accidental pregnancy had freaked her out, and she hadn’t told me about it until hockey season ended.

  I hadn’t blamed her, but at the same time, I had resented her. Especially when she’d refused to move to Chicago. How was I supposed to be supportive to her and the baby when we didn’t live in the same state? Since my team had reached the semifinals of the Stanley Cup Playoffs that year, our off-season had been shorter than usual. The coaching staff, management, my teammates—we’d been under even more pressure to make the next season a winning season, which we had because we’d won the cup the next year. I couldn’t spend much time in Minneapolis and that had marked the beginning of the end for us.

  When Walker said, “Listen, Jax,” my attention returned to him. “I’m sorry I put you in the position that you had to fire my company.” He scratched his beard. “There’s no excuse for how unprofessional I acted. None.”

  “Everyone fucks up, Walker. Yeah, it sucks that your screwup was on my dime and my time, but I’ve moved on. I’m not gonna hold a grudge, especially not against family.”

  “Man, I appreciate that. And I’ll throw it out there: If you keep buying these weird places and need restoration, call us.”

  I flashed him a feral grin. “Don’t push it.”

  “Even if I give you an ‘I was a judgmental asshole’ discount?”

  “Now we’re talkin’. I won’t rule it out.”

  “I appreciate the second chance.” He stood. “See ya.” He slapped hands with Nolan, Ash and then me.

  Before I headed to the dressing room, Ash said, “Dallas really loves working on your projects. Thanks for looking out for her.”

  “She’s earned her spot running the team. She also knows anytime it becomes too much, she can bail. No harm, no foul. I just want her to be happy in her work environment, because I know how much it sucks when you’re not.”

  Ash gave me a considering look. “Think she’ll ever return to LI?”

  “No idea. I don’t think she knows the answer to that, Ash, but do me a favor and don’t bring it up. Let her be my shining star for a while.”

  “I will, because she needs that.”

  “Thanks for coming tonight, guys, and for the support. Wasn’t expecting an audience.”

  Nolan said, “I wasn’t expecting to see you playing alone with Gabi, Jax. Think that was smart?”

  “She’s a pro, and the closest I’ve come to finding a player on my level who doesn’t hold back. It was fun to blow off some steam with her, and I think she needed it too.”

  He opted not to share whatever had put a wrinkle in his forehead.

  I glanced at Ash. “You two hitting the town tonight?”

  “After we change clothes,” Nolan said. “Thank god Flurry has a dress code.”

  “Have fun.”

  “What are your plans? I mean, you could come out to the clubs with us,” Ash offered.

  “Thanks, but those days are long behind me.”

  In the locker room I ditched my gear and took a fast shower. By the time I dressed in my street clothes and headed out, I saw I’d missed two texts from Lucy.

  LQ: Everything OK? Edie said Mimi is having an overnight with them.

  LQ: I’m home if you want to talk.

  The time had come to have the talk with her that I’d been avoiding.

  ME: OMW

  Before I walked out the main entrance, I heard arguing. I stepped into the hallway and saw Gabi and Nolan locked in battle. “Hey. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Gabi snapped. “Your brother was lost so I was telling him exactly where to go.”

  Nolan snarled something I couldn’t make out.

  “Do I need to stay and referee you two? Or can I go home to my”—I almost said wife, but Nolan would question that, so I amended it to—“family?”

  “Go ahead, bro. I’m sure Lucy is anxious for time alone with you since Mimi is with her grandparents.”

  What the hell? Did I even want to know what that meant?

  Nope.

  Gabi said, “Go. I’ll lock up.”

  “See you Monday.”

  Nineteen

  LUCY

  I’d had a serious case of déjà vu when Edie called me and said Mimi was spending the night with her and Archer. That had been the norm during Jax’s visitation periods with Mimi, although I had
n’t been aware of his drinking issues at the time; I’d merely chalked it up to Jax opting to do something other than spending time with our daughter.

  When I’d quizzed Edie on why Jax and Mimi weren’t playing house in their new apartment, she told me he’d gone to the ice rink and suggested I contact him after I finished working.

  There hadn’t been enough space in my brain to worry about Jax’s Saturday plans, when my head was about to explode with scheduling and spreadsheets and team assignments and computer upgrades. I’d always known Lennox defined efficient, but I hadn’t realized she’d done the work of like three people. I selfishly hoped she would come back after her maternity leave, because I did not want to do her job.

  Our weekend work attire had been casual, but I needed movement and comfort, so I slipped on my trusty robe immediately after I got home. Once again Jax would catch me lounging around half-naked while I finished a PB and J for supper.

  Three knocks sounded.

  He could’ve come in, I’d left the door unlocked, but he waited for me to let him in. I considered teasing him that he wouldn’t find me doing anything remotely interesting behind closed doors, but I still wasn’t sure how he’d react to sexual banter.

  I opened the door and almost swallowed my tongue.

  With that gorgeous face, Jax always looked good. Tonight, though, with his hair damp and scruff darkening his cheeks and a look in his eyes that bordered on wild, he was devastating.

  Then he aimed that wild look at me, his gaze dipping to my cleavage and back up to my mouth. “Lucy. I . . .”

  He seemed so forlorn that I stepped into his arms without hesitation.

  Jax buried his face in my neck and lifted me off the floor, his hands gripping my ass as he carried me into the living room.

  Okay then.

  He gently lowered me to my feet, his mouth searching for mine and finding it.

  The kiss was sweet and resigned and slightly desperate. In our past when Jax kissed me like this, I’d find myself pressed against the nearest flat surface—vertical, horizontal, it didn’t matter—with his hands tearing at my clothes.