Game of Passions

by Diana Scott

  Carmen got out of her always present heels and poured herself a soda.

  Without further thoughts, she let her soft body sink into the sofa in front of the window and began to read.

  «Beautiful Carmencita, I want to tell you the story of a young girl who, through the misery of life, was never blessed with the gift of motherhood but with a love capable of crossing borders and oceans.

  As you already know, my parents came from one of the so popularly called "good families" of Barcelona. Raised with all the luxuries a girl could wish for, I was always covered in cotton and flowers to protect myself from all evil.

  As a child, I believed in a world with princesses in love and princes eager to love them.

  My mother was a lady of the feet to the head and my father, that to tell you of him, because the husband dreamed by all.

  Everything in my life was magical.

  My world was ideal but you know, like all fantasizing dreams, one day you wake up to know that your cottons were nothing but lies, and the flowers became thorns of pain.

  With only sixteen years, one day I accidentally hit the funniest, funniest boy with all the self—confidence you can imagine.

  It was a casual trip, nothing planned, but it took me straight to the ground in every way. I still remember his words.

  "Miss sorry, please let me help you"

  His voice was so sweet that I offered him my hand without realizing that at that very moment I would give him my heart and my life.

  Our eyes met in a minute but we both knew that our lives had been waiting for each other's arrival.

  He accompanied me home under the pretext of guaranteeing my safety, but the truth is that according to what he confessed to me years later, he wanted to know where he lived.

  We do not keep seeing but of course hidden. He was a young man without much future and of course I was a "good girl" but who is able to know the formula between love and social inequality that is the first to raise his hand.

  We love each other with madness, I could even tell you that with desperation, we both knew that ours would not have a future but that did not stop us. We tried to avoid all the obstacles that were imposed on us but one day our dream became impossible when my parents learned of our love.

  They tried to convince me that I was a young woman outside of their social status and that I deserved better.

  Something better than the love of your life? As if that were possible.

  We both refuse to sacrifice our love for social prejudice, which is why one night we plan to escape. We would take a ship and flee to the new continent. We would cross the ocean and we would be happy.

  Everything was organized. All ready.

  Night in that escape me he came by order, but a deep malaise caused my fainting in the portal my parents ' house. They sent for the family doctor and confirmed the worst suspicions. I was pregnant.

  At that moment I was happy, I wanted to run into my beloved's arms and tell him that the fruit of our love grew in my belly, but it was impossible. My parents were in charge of plotting the cruellest of the lies, getting him to leave without me and without knowing that I was going to be a father.

  The lies were also offered to me, their daughter, who broke down in pain and lost her baby.

  Carmen dried her tears and continued reading.

  After a year and when my heart was still bleeding from the wound, I happened to discover a conversation between my parents.

  They had lied to us. They had separated us, because according to his textual words, the man he loved was, "a simple Portuguese without a future".

  When I knew the truth, I felt faint. I could not breathe. I wanted to scream in pain but I was only able to prepare my bags and disappear.

  With little more than a suitcase and a few savings, I traveled without knowing neither address nor phone, it only had the name of an island that I had heard spying on my parents. The Morro de Sao Caetano.

  I traveled for days and days without even knowing if I would find it, if I would accept, but I had to try, I could not live with the fear of not having tried.

  I walked, I navigated, to keep walking and searching. I worked to get more money, I got lost on the roads of Brazil but one day I finally found it.

  I still remember when I could see it in the distance.

  I shouted his name as if the year of separation had never existed. He turned and looked at me in the distance as if I were a dream.

  In those moments I doubted everything.

  What if he was with another?

  What if I had forgotten?

  What if I did not feel anything?

  He seemed to notice my doubts because he simply smiled and stretched out my trembling arms.

  I ran and hugged myself so hard that we never separated again until the day before closing his eyes he said to me, love I waited for you with my arms open in this world and I'll wait for you in the other.

  Beautiful Carmencita, if you have this letter in your hands it is because I am in the arms of my love and I want that little girl with inflated cheeks and weeping eyes that I loved since I saw her, be able to find in my little house Brazil the true meaning of his life. I hope your tears dry and you find that love that does not know distances or time or social classes, that love that grows with the difficulties and strengthens despite the logical force of the setbacks.

  I hope that at the inn you will find what you are looking for, as I did one day.

  «Search, Carmencita. Someone tells you that he did not let himself be defeated, he searched and found him»

  Your aunt Faustina.

  Seek and you shall find

  — What are you thinking to do?

  — I have no idea.

  — And where do you say the hotel is?

  — It's a hostel, it's called Morro de Sao Caetano. It is an island in front of San Salvador.

  — Have you searched for it online?

  — Yes, and it's beautiful.

  — But he's in Brazil! — his friend shouted while looking at the computer— Google says that it is seven thousand kilometers from here.

  — Yes, I know, but I have nothing decided yet.

  — Well, know that if you leave, so will I. You do not abandon me.

  Azul touched his bulging tripe.

  Carmen would have laughed at her friend's nonsense if it was not because she believed her capable of that and more.

  — Do not say nonsense. You have little time to give birth to the twins and I do not see Matias very willing to let you go— Carmen sounded restless.

  — But are you thinking of leaving?

  — I'm not sure. This last month has not been easy. Think, Azul, what if this is an opportunity to change my life, and if it is one of those trains that only happen once...? Who knows, I'm still losing something unique and unrepeatable?

  — Is it because of Lucas? Are you going to tell me about what happened between you?

  — As usual. Relationships begin and end, nothing very different.

  — And then why are you running away?

  — I do not run. I did not ask for this inheritance!

  — Carmen, you have to turn the page.

  — I try but I can not. Not all of us are lucky enough to meet the love of our life in the least expected place, as it happened to you— it sounded too energetic.

  — And how do you know? You have never given yourself the opportunity to feel anything beyond pleasure. You close in a bubble where you can only enter. "Azul spoke openly.

  — And you— he replied with irony.

  — I speak with sincerity. You're beautiful, you have a heart attack, men die when they look at you but you keep seeing that girl...

  — Do not follow.

  — Why not? I do not know if it's Lucas or another man will steal your heart, but why do not you allow yourself to try, why not let them love you as you deserve?

  Azul approached her friend and tried to hug her but the width of her waist only allowed her to stick to
her gut.

  — Try it— Azul prayed— Go up to the top and drop yourself in a parachute, look at the sea and throw yourself in the head, live life without thinking about the consequences. Let your hair down. It throbs with each heartbeat and acts according to your heart it cries out to you, and if it does not turn out or you get hurt, just come back, I will always be by your side.

  Carmen tried to dry the tears that fell silently slowly down her cheeks.

  — I will always be with you. Here or seven mi l kilometers away. Our friendship is stronger than any smallness that wants to separate us.

  Carmen stuck to her friend's gut to feel kicking the twins

  — Small or small—said while touching the gut.

  Azul stroked her friend's hair.

  — You know something, even if it hurts, I think you have to go to that island.

  — As you say?

  — That you must go. You're right, this can be an opportunity for you to start from scratch. Leave the past behind. Live new experiences and even who knows, even there you find that love that you refuse to accept.

  — I'll refuse but you know how men are...

  — Not everyone.

  — Well, Matías, no.

  — I was not talking about him...

  — Well, you will not say it for your little friend Lucas, because come on, he has a history of women that even the Christmas shopping list falls short — his voice contained the absolute truth.

  — I know him perfectly but I also know that Matthias was not a saint in the past, however he changed. I could not feel more loved and respected than with him.

  — That's because you're a love and he knew it as soon as he saw you.

  — Carmen, please, when you're going to realize that Richard was a complete asshole!

  — I know.

  — You're wonderful but you do not want to see you— Azul snorted and tried to change the subject...

  — Have you read the famous letter?

  — Yes

  Azul looked at her but when she did not receive any other explanation, he did not want to force her to speak.

  For a moment the friends remained silent until Azul was encouraged to express.

  — Do it, I do not know very well why?, but I have an intuition. Go away.

  — Intuition of mother... — Carmen answered jokingly.

  — It could be— Azul sounded meditative.

  — Okay, but I want you to know that I still will not travel before the twins are born.

  — Of that nothing. If you have to go find your destination, you will do it tomorrow. We will be in Madrid waiting for Aunt Carmen, "she said, touching her bulging belly," to be our godmother.

  — That's done. Azul, I love you. You are the best friend you can ask for

  — And you are the most beautiful, intelligent and courageous of friends. More than Wonder Woman.

  — Plus?

  — Yes!

  The two laughed but with enthusiasm.

  One of them started the wonderful path of motherhood and the other would travel to find their destiny to nothing less than the other side of the ocean.

  A month without you

  Carlos did not get through the bar door when he was intercepted by the owner.

  — It's on the pool table.

  — Thanks Pepe, I'll take care of it.

  — He has drunk more than necessary — Pepe spoke and Carlos opened his eyes surprised.

  Lucas did not drink, none of the members of the brigade drank alcohol.

  — Pepe, are you sure?

  — Like I almost got my head off the neck when I refused to serve him another drink. And none of you is an ungainly kid to deny them anything — the owner was furious.

  The Bar de Pepe, located in the heart of the neighborhood of La Latina, in Madrid, was the preferred place for encounters between comrades in combat. They got together to play pool or to watch football. When they were not traveling on a mission, it was easy to find them there.

  Pepe, the owner, knew them from his first training and had never seen Lucas in such a sorry state, so he decided to send a message of concern to Carlos and he went off on his way to the bar. He did not stop thinking about some enemy of the past eager for revenge, but he never imagined that the problem would be excess of alcohol.

  — Thanks, Pepe.

  Carlos walked to the pool table when he heard an angry shout.

  — You're going to put me another kid and I do not care if the owner says no— Lucas kept the young waiter by the collar of his shirt.

  The poor employee should not be more than twenty years old and of a complexion "I have never taken Mom's soup", so he looked at him with wide eyes and wanting to run if he could move one of his short legs.

  — I... Sir, I'm just an employee. With this job I pay the enrollment of the Uni...

  — Well kid, I like that, you study, what do you study? — Lucas dragged the words.

  — Biology... nor.

  — Well, future biologist, you're going to turn around and you're going to put me another drink with milk if you do not want me to leave you for fertilizing plants.

  The poor waiter was about to start crying in front of such a display of man.

  Lucas wore a beard reflecting a couple of days of abandonment, his shirt, the same as the previous night, was not in better condition and his military cap turned back, in sniper position ready to shoot, further enhanced his steel blue eyes, that instead of being the reflection of a serene sea as it used to be, this time they showed deep and turbulent waters.

  — Go boy. I'll take care of it. "Carlos's voice was very harsh.

  The poor waiter released from Lucas's strong hold breathed a sigh of relief and did not wait a second to get away fleeing in terror.

  Lucas turned to see who wanted to contradict him but found the tremendous four—four of his partner and friend Carlos.

  — We're leaving.

  — I do not think so.

  — You can know what the hell is wrong! — Carlos yelled at him to try to master him but it was impossible.

  — Go away, I'm busy — and he squeezed the brunette, who did not leave his side and gave him a non—gallant kiss.

  — I do not give a shit how busy you are — he said looking at the woman— we leave before... — he could not finish the sentence because he got pushed by a big guy from behind.

  — Hey, drunk! That is my girlfriend.

  — What we lacked— Carlos sighed resignedly.

  — Well, if it's your girlfriend, come and look for her, although she seems quite comfortable here in my arms, is not that so beautiful?

  The biker pounced on Lucas, no matter how drunk he was, he was still a member of the special forces trained for combat, for which he dodged the blow without problems. The indignant boyfriend turned to punch the brides thief but he was faster and gave him a kick in the ass that managed to throw the enraged Romeo straight at the feet of Pepe.

  Carlos did not intend to intervene, until he could distinguish that five other biker friends, style we are from the slum neighborhood of Harlem, pounced on Lucas.

  — Sorry Pepe! — Carlos yelled as he linked one of the bikers with his neck to throw him through the air directly on the pool table. It creaked and split into three huge clogs that crashed to the ground and caused terrified cries of the innocent bartender biologist.

  A few hours later and a few more bruises, Lucas and Carlos listened without question to the list of damages caused at the bar.

  The colonel walked from one place to another trying to quell his anger.

  — And that totals a total of six thousand seven hundred euros in damages, not to mention that two of my best men have been detained for an hour like Two petty thieves!

  — As much as thieves, would be more successful as two hooligans, because it would have to see how the others were... — Lucas whispered to Carlos who nodded.

  — Lucas, you have something to add— The Colonel was red with fury.

 
— No sir— he answered totally seriously.

  — Well, I'll have imagined it. Maybe because lately you do not stop getting into trouble! — The screams shook the windows.

  Lucas swallowed.

  With respect to you Carlos, I want to tell you that we have managed to get the biker who accused the "four by four with gray eyes", I quote his words as such — Carlos licked his lip in amusement — he will not press charges, which is nothing bad considering the fracture of the left tibia, right fibula and clavicle fracture... not to mention the various sutures throughout the body.

  — In your favor, I have to clarify, that the other attacked first.

  The colonel looked at Lucas and he was instantly silent.

  — We have managed to save them, and I say we have because as you know well, your captain is on leave for the early birth of his children but he personally, made all the steps and pleas to save your ass.

  The colonel had also collaborated in those actions but he did not want them to know, deep down he knew that his boys were less guilty than they seemed.

  The colonel spoke for sure. The boys had to be punished and he was about to tell them.

  — Carlos — it sounded severe — you will be two months in the house of the American ambassador guarding the children.

  — Colonel, fuck, I'm not a damn babysitter!

  — Colonel! I assume all responsibility— Lucas was energetic.

  — Carlos, I would say that you have behaved just like the kids and I hope that in contact with the little ones, you have the necessary time to calm your bravery.

  — Sir! I have said that I assume all responsibility.

  — Quiet Lucas, for you I also have. You will be suspended from work and salary for one month.

  Lucas ducked his head, furious.

  — Carlos, you can retire.

  — Lord, I think...

  — Carlos.

  — Yes?

  — Get out! — The colonel roared in such a way that he was only able to obey.

  When the door closed completely, the colonel toned down.

  Lucas was one of the members of the most disciplined brigade. His sense of humor as his perfect mastery of feelings were those that had made him stand out in the academy to become the best sniper of all the brigades. Cold and with precision were his most remarkable virtues, those that in many occasions, had saved his companions from certain death.