As Deep As the Ocean

by Cindy Nichols

  Alex’s slowly lowered his binoculars and looked at Diego. Diego’s eyes were wet, too, and he increased their speed, moving faster toward the beach.

  Cassie took a deep breath and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. The back of her hands brushed the tears from her cheeks, and she pulled on her shoes. She was back to business, now.

  As the panga’s bow met the sand, she was out of the boat in a flash, ignoring the pain in her thigh. She strode quickly over to the object, sitting down hard in the sand next to the beautiful sea creature.

  Jumping out of the boat and hurrying behind Cassie, Alex stood for a moment, silent, curious at the sight before him. The porpoise lay still, its white underbelly not moving. His short snout and black rings around his eyes were something he hadn’t seen before.

  Cassie stared at the still creature, tears streaming down her cheeks. She reached out a hand, resting it lightly on its side. She stroked its skin lightly, looking as Diego arrived.

  “It’s just a baby,” Diego said, moving closer and kneeling down beside the animal.

  “Exactly what we can’t afford to lose,” Cassie said, her fist clenching as she stroked the vaquita with her other hand. “I’d say it’s only about five months old, this one. Darn nets.”

  Alex reached out slowly to touch the vaquita, his eyes clouding as he stroked its lifeless flesh. He cleared his throat and pulled his hand back, staring at the fascinating markings.

  The sea was quiet in this cove, the waves only ripples on the beach. Alex started to speak, but Cassie quickly said, “Sh,” her attention drawn to the back of the panga. “Do you hear them?” she said, her eyes growing sad again.

  The clicks grew louder as bigger ripples formed in the still water behind the panga. Suddenly, two fins emerged from the calmness of the sea. “Be still.” Cassie stood slowly, backing way from the baby vaquita, motioning for Alex and Diego to come, too.

  As the three backed away and sat down against a rock across the cove, the two porpoises drew closer to the shore. The dead young porpoise rocked back and forth with the ripples, half in and half out of the water. The two adult vaquita inched forward and Cassie felt her throat catch, the tears come. Alex and Diego stared at the scene before them, their eyes clouding under furrowed brows.

  Cassie felt Alex take her hand, stroking her forearm. She laid her head on his shoulder, trying her best not to sob, as the adult vaquita swam back and forth along the shore, as close to their calf as they could get without beaching themselves. Their clicks became quick and urgent as they swam faster, back and forth.

  As if suddenly in agreement, the porpoises stopped for a moment, becoming silent in the still waters in front of their offspring. Slowly, they circled around each other as if in the perfect demonstration of the yin and yang symbol, and then they were gone.

  Cassie felt as if all the air had been taken out of the sky as she gulped back her tears. She felt Alex’s hand stroke her head, brushing her hair off her forehead, and brushing away her tears. His grasp tightened around her, and she let herself sob as grief poured through her.

  Finally, she stood and walked toward the panga. Alex stood to follow her, but Diego pulled him back.

  “Leave her to it. She needs to do this,” Diego whispered, although Cassie heard him.

  She brought her supplies and quickly took measurements of the vaquita—but hadn’t brought her scale to weigh it. She could kick herself for that. She closed her eyes and gently wriggled her hand under its head, grasping its tail with her other hand. She lifted it gently, reverently, guessing at its weight and marking it down in her book.

  Next she measured it, looked for any markings and noted them in her book as well. She described its size, its length, its markings—any identifying factors she could see. She took several pictures with her phone, making sure they were time-stamped. Then she wrote about seeing the parents, and tears plopped on her notepad, making the blue ink run.

  And when she was done, she packed up her stuff and walked back to the vaquita. She knelt alongside it, stroking its head one last time, telling it she would do everything in her power to save its family.

  Alex approached behind her, and as she stood he reached his arm around her.

  “Shouldn’t we bury it or something?” he asked softly.

  She shook her head and looked up at the sky, her hand over her eyes.

  “No. She needs to go back to the sea. Other things need her to survive. It’s part of the cycle of life, even though it’s hard to watch sometimes. Everything’s got an enemy.”

  Alex nodded. “And these porpoises seem to have more enemies than most.”

  She looked up at him. “Yes, they do. In addition to regular predators and gill nets, they have the resort. The resort is their biggest threat, now that they won’t allow the sanctuary. We can’t stop the fishermen, but we had a chance to build a safe place for the vaquita to breed, to get strong again. Now, I’m not sure there’s anything I can do. And who will protect them if not us?”

  Chapter 15

  On the return trip, Cassie’s emotions were raw and closer to the surface than she wanted them to be. Back on the shimmering water, she had stretched out in the panga, drinking in the smells and sounds, trying to push away the memory of what they had seen. Alex hadn’t spoken since they’d left the cove, and Diego was like a statue on his perch by the engine.

  As Cassie basked in the warm sun, she felt Alex lean back beside her. Her arm rested over her face, shielding her eyes against the sun. He gently tugged at her hand, again lifting it to his lips. “I had no idea these vaquita even existed, let alone the threat of extinction.” He was so close she could smell his presence, and it calmed her.

  “There are only about a hundred left on the entire planet, Alex. Make that ninety-nine. If something isn’t done, they’ll be gone in less than two years. I just can’t let that happen.”

  He sat up on the bench, his long legs cramped in the small panga. “It’s truly a tragedy,” she said finally, his intense expression tugging at her heart.

  “Yes, it is,” he said, reaching over and holding his hand in the cool spray of the panga. He lifted his hand swiftly, drenching her with water. She wasn’t ready to laugh yet, but she smiled at his attempt to distract her from her sorrow. They stretched out in the boat and fell silent until they reached the beach.

  The panga glided to a stop on the shore, skimming onto the sand. Cassie and Alex slid over the side of the panga, wading through the warm water to the shore. She had wanted to show him a vaquita and hadn’t expected to find the scene she did. Her emotions were still on the surface as Alex held his hand out to her for the ice chest, then again to help her out of the panga. She turned to thank Diego and he nodded, his face like stone.

  Her breath catching in her throat, she walked beside Alex in silence, remembering their magical vaquita sighting. Happy that they shared such an important experience, she didn’t think she could be more content than she was at this moment.

  Alex took her hand as they walked back up to the restaurant. “I had no idea about the fishing of the endangered species, Cassie. My time in the Navy was not spent in the Sea of Cortez, and I’ve spent very little time here on land, either. It’s all been on paper to me.”

  “On paper? You mean like on a map?”

  “Well, yes, sort of. I don’t know how to explain this to you. There are things about me that you don’t know, and I am sure you don’t want to know.”

  Puzzled and hurt, she looked up at him. His amber eyes bore into her, startling her with their intensity. She wanted to know everything about him. All of it. He seemed dejected and hopeless, and Cassie didn’t understand why.

  Carrying their supplies up to the jeep, Cassie spotted Taylor and Raul under one of the palapas, sipping drinks from huge seashells.

  Cassie put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly, Taylor’s head snapping in her direction, laughing. “I knew that had to be you,” Taylor chirped, running over to the jeep. “How was the t
rip?”

  “I’ll have to tell you about it later,” Cassie said, stealing a glance at Alex. His face was blank, and his eyes were still dull.

  “Did you all have a nice time?” Raul asked as he joined them, his smile wide. “Did you have a chance to talk?”

  Alex’s eyes flickered for a moment as he looked over at Raul. The two men stared at each other for what seemed minutes.

  “No,” Alex answered harshly.

  Confused, she glanced at both men. They’d spent days together, and this was the first time she’d heard Alex use a harsh tone of any kind. What could be an issue with Raul? “We’re going inside to have a drink. Want to come?”

  “Fine with me,” Taylor said, turning to Raul. “Is that all right with you?”

  “I suppose it’s fine,” he said, looking over to the restaurant. “Briefly.”

  Taylor and Cassie stole a quick glance at each other. Cassie re-arranged her cover-up and touched her hair. “I think I need to make a stop in the ladies’ room. I’ll catch up.”

  Cassie walked toward the restaurant, past the brick arches and under the palapas, pulling open the door of the restaurant and meeting room area. Employees were setting up for tomorrow’s ribbon-cutting ceremony and the check-in line for the small rancho was long.

  Winding her way through the people, trying to find the restroom, she felt butterflies in her stomach about tomorrow’s events. She knew there would be throngs of people and reporters there. She hoped her passion would carry her message, and the resort owners would reconsider.

  As she passed by the room where the press conference was to be held, she couldn’t help but peek her head inside. On the wall was a huge map of the proposed resort, with a golf course, restaurants, pool and bungalows along with the main hotel. Her eyes drifted on the drawing to the water, where she saw plans for tennis courts and a marina. The marina was massive, and her heart sank with the thought of all those boats, all that pollution, all those fishermen.

  She turned on her heel and headed back toward the door, steeling herself for tomorrow’s battle. As she was about to pass through the door, she noticed a display table holding pamphlets for the ceremony. She stopped and looked both left and right, feeling a little sneaky for picking one up, but she did. They were beautiful, glossy pamphlets that no doubt were very expensive with glowing descriptions of the resort and beckoning buyers.

  Flipping a brochure over to look at the back, her breath stopped, and she blinked. She blinked hard again, not believing her eyes. There, at the bottom of the brochure, was the smiling face of Alex Vasquez, CEO of Costa Azul International. Alex. Her Alex.

  Her heart in her throat, she gripped the brochure tightly. She’d never been as angry as now, and her blood rushed through her veins. Striding into the restaurant, she saw Taylor at a table with Alex and Raul. Alex stood as she made it to the table, his face freezing as he saw her. “What is it, Cassie? Are you all right?”

  For the second time in not many days, Cassie Lewis was utterly speechless. She shoved the brochure in Alex’s chest, and, with a little extra push, she turned and got to the jeep as fast as she could.

  Chapter 16

  Alex felt as if his heart stopped as the brochure Cassie shoved in his chest fluttered to the floor. The second shove for good measure had him rock back on his heels and was made more painful by the look of fury mixed with pain in her eyes. He stood stock still as she ran for the door, dropping his head into his hands as it slammed behind her.

  “What the—” Taylor had stopped to pick up the brochure and stared from it to Alex and back down at it again. She even held it up next to him to be sure. “You? CEO of Costa Azul?”

  He looked up at her, the shame he was feeling overwhelming.

  “Taylor, I can explain,” he said, looking away from her withering glare.

  “I bet you can. But you’ve had—” she pretended to look down at the watch on her wrist, even though she wasn’t wearing one. “Let me see, over a week and countless opportunities to do that and you didn’t. You lied to her.”

  Alex shook his head and looked toward Raul for some back-up. He held up his hands and took a step toward Taylor. “I never lied. I swear, I didn’t.”

  Taylor took a step back, shaking her head slowly. “Same thing. You knew she was here to stop this resort—your resort—and didn’t say a word. You’re a horrible, dishonorable human,” she said. She turned her withering glare toward Raul as Alex rubbed the back of his neck.

  “And you. A project manager? And you couldn’t have told me which project?” she asked, her voice rising.

  Raul started to speak, but he got the same treatment Alex had.

  “Save it. Just save it, both if you,” she said.

  Alex thought she looked like she wanted to spit on their shoes, and he wouldn’t have blamed her if she had.

  She turned on her heel and followed Cassie out the door.

  “That didn’t go well,” Alex said slowly after Taylor stormed off.

  “That’s an understatement,” Raul said. “I suppose it’s safe to assume you didn’t have the opportunity to tell her today like you’d planned.”

  Alex glanced sideways at his friend and wanted to shove his elbow in his ribs. “Obviously not. I was going to tell her at lunch. Both of them.”

  Raul nodded as they each pulled out a stool at the restaurant bar. “Right. I imagine it wasn’t easy. But I have to say I warned you.”

  Elbows on the bar, Alex lowered his head. “I’ve never felt like such a jerk in my life, to be honest. I know you warned me. I just couldn’t do it. I don’t understand why.”

  “Really? You don’t?” Raul laughed and held up two fingers to the bartender who delivered two bottles of cold, Mexican beer. Alex looked up as Raul pushed one in front of him, but it didn’t even look appealing. In fact, he felt sick.

  “No, I don’t,” he said as he turned the bottle in circles on the polished wooden bar.

  “Well, I do. It’s written all over your face, and now that I think about it, it makes all the sense in the world.”

  Alex looked up at his friend, curious what he could mean. “And?”

  Raul took a sip of his beer and turned to Alex, his eyes gleaming and a smile tugging at his lips.

  “Remember Melissa?”

  Alex closed his eyes for a moment, remembering his college sweetheart. He’d loved her with all his heart---or so he’d thought at the time. She’d left him for someone else and it had taken quite a long time to recover, and he’d never been in love since.

  “How could I forget?” Alex asked.

  “Well, you had the same look on your face when you were with her as you do with Cassie. Except maybe even more so now, if that’s possible.”

  Alex blinked a few times as he looked at his friend. “What do you mean?”

  Raul clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Come on, Alex, don’t be so dense. I’ve been around you guys this whole time except for today. The more you found out about her, the worse it got. And I totally get it. She’s great.”

  “She is great, but I still don’t see what you’re talking about.”

  Raul leaned forward on the bar and shook his head. “Come on. You know how passionate she is about all of this dolphin stuff.”

  “Porpoise,” Alex corrected, knowing Cassie would want him to.

  “Fine, porpoise. But seriously, when she found out you were the one who was going to ruin it all, it makes sense she’d react the way she did.”

  “It did cross my mind. Maybe that’s why I was dragging my feet.”

  “I’m sure of it, and honestly I don’t blame you. It’s tough being in love with someone who’s pretty much going to hate your guts. I can see why you weren’t in a hurry to make that happen.”

  Alex started at the word love. It hadn’t occurred to him that might have been the reason he was holding off. He’d convinced himself that it didn’t matter, that it would be fine. But it wasn’t fine, and based on the fact that he hadn’t even t
aken a sip of his beer and still felt sick, he knew Alex was right. He was in love.

  Chapter 17

  The wind whipped through her hair as she sped toward Playa Luna. Tears and sand stinging her eyes, she drove as fast as she could, wanting to blow the memory out of her head of Alex pictured in the brochure for the resort. CEO! The same man she had opened her heart to, poured out her fears and passions.

  She thought she had felt his heart, too, and now she realized it was all a joke. Had he known who she was when they met? Had he planned it this way, to take her off her game, make her vulnerable? She knew she could be a formidable opponent, especially when it came to her passion for the vaquita. Maybe he was afraid of her.

  Her heart pounded as she pulled up to the house. Jumping out of the jeep, she grabbed her beach chair and made the short trek down to the water. As the waves lapped at her feet, she felt the sobs coming. Giving in to her senses, she sat down in the sand, her head in her hands.

  “What is it, Cassie,” she heard behind her. “Is it the vaquita?”

  She turned and looked up into Diego’s concerned eyes. “I don’t even know where to start, Diego.”

  “At the beginning, Cassie, is the best place.”

  She poured her heart out to her friend, explaining the sanctuary plans and the denial from the resort company. She told him of her injury, how she had met Alex, and how she found out who he really was.

  “I feel like such a complete idiot,” she said, wiping hot tears from her cheeks.

  Diego was silent for a long while as he picked up handfuls of sand and tossed them toward the waves.

  “Not all people have the same heart as you,” he said finally, turning toward her. His eyes betrayed his emotion, and he pulled the brim of his hat further down his forehead. “Many people don’t understand money is not the most important thing in the world. That is why I came to the Baja, to get away.”