White Walls

by HMC

‘You can call me Freddy,’ he whispered. ‘Only Dr. Green calls me Fredrick.’

  ‘Freddy. It’s a good name. Why don’t we start from the beginning though?’ She sat down on the bed beside him.

  ‘They were behind us in the car. I watched for a while to see if I was imagining. But they kept coming. I could see them in the mirror.’ Freddy’s face was full of bewildered innocence. She waited for a moment to see if he’d continue without prodding and made a quick mental note: her new patient Freddy had signs of paranoid delusion.

  ‘Who was behind you in the car, Freddy?’

  He didn’t answer straight away. ‘I wanted my sister to go faster, so she did, because I told her they were behind us. If she didn’t hurry they’d catch us. The Trackers. That’s when they went faster, too.’

  The Trackers?

  Freddy hugged his pillow to his chest. He was almost breakable in this moment, with a vulnerability that she could respect, because it wasn’t for anyone’s benefit. Jade knew that she wanted to help the man before her.

  ‘I don’t know their names.’ Freddy twisted tufts of his dark brown hair as she leaned over to hear him.

  ‘Do you know what they wanted?’

  He nodded. ‘Yes. I told Christy something. She’s my sister and she always believes me.’

  The commitment in his face made Jade understand. He wholeheartedly believed in real-live monsters and they were chasing him and his sister. She would call Christy later to get her side of the story.

  ‘So I was just trying to save us.’ Freddy pulled a squished Minty from his pocket and offered it to Jade. She took it and thanked him.

  Freddy was uncertain about whether he should trust the lady doctor. She had eyes like Bambi’s mother. Surely someone with eyes like that wasn’t going to laugh at him or think he was making up stories. He liked the way she smiled at him.

  Freddy blinked hard. He tried to remember and put into words what he needed to tell her, so she’d understand. He hadn’t been asked this question before by his old doctor. His old doctor had tried to tell him none of it was real – until the end of course. Everything had changed in the end.

  But Freddy knew the truth and he was concerned that if he told Jade, then they might find out and try to hurt her, too.

  ‘I don’t think …’ He stopped to look at her with wide, teary eyes. He liked the way she smelled like laundry powder and fresh air. Christy smelled like that.

  When she came closer to him, he felt safe. This was a definite clue that he could trust Jade. Freddy was excellent at finding clues. The doctor was gentle, just like Morty. Morty was his favourite nurse.

  ‘Everything we talk about here, in this place, stays here and no one outside these walls is allowed to know about it, Freddy. They’ll never know you told me. We can work together, can’t we?’

  Freddy nodded. ‘That’s what Harry said.’

  ‘You miss Harry, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes.’ This was the person that he’d been waiting for. She said all the right things. Freddy had to trust his gut. He looked into Jade’s eyes and spoke with a voice as demanding as he could muster.

  ‘You have to break the guns.’ Jade waited for more. But he had nothing else to tell her.

  MEETING PLACE

  Samantha Phillips sat in front of a fat psychiatrist. He acted like his face would crack if he smiled. The shades were drawn. The sunlight crept between the gaps – just enough for them to see each others’ faces. She thought he could do with a little more darkness, with his shiny head and horrible comb-over. Sam felt it was much braver, and of course sexier, for a man to just take the plunge and shave it all off. The more you celebrated something, the better.

  ‘Dr. Green is it?’ He nodded. ‘I’ve heard about you from my father. He seems to have a lot of respect for you. Is this your son?’ She tapped a photo on his desk. He nodded again.

  ‘Handsome fella. So he’s a policeman?’

  ‘Detective.’

  Sam twirled her tongue piercing inside of her mouth. There it was: nature versus nurture. Both of them had been brought up by shrinks but Green’s son had become a detective. She’d become a criminal. Funny. Sam had always been on the nurture side of the argument. Even though she wasn’t such a good example herself.

  They sat in silence for a few moments. Wow. What a communicator.

  ‘If you don’t open up a bit more, I don’t know if this therapy is going to do you any good.’ Sam smirked at him. Her charm, incredibly, wasn’t working.

  ‘We’re not here to make jokes, Samantha. We’re here to help you. Your father has asked me personally to take care of you, not to become your friend. I’m sure you have many friends that can cater to those particular needs. I’m here to teach you how to function correctly in society.’

  So, that’s the way it’s gonna be.

  ‘You see, you’re in quite a predicament. I happen to be good friends with your father and I’ll work to hold his respect. But mark my words, I give no special treatment to anyone.’

  ‘Ah, that’s why you don’t like me. You’re worried that I’ll expect special treatment. Well, don’t worry, I’m not the 90210 type.’ She assured him.

  ‘Good to know. You’ll meet your counsellor in the morning for a group therapy session. She’s new. Be kind to her. If I hear you haven’t ... ’

  Sam put her hands up in defence.

  ‘Give me a chance. I’m a good girl. Mostly.’ Still, he didn’t smile. Green would be a tough nut to crack.

  Dr. Jade Thatcher watched her brand new patient, Samantha Phillips, arm in arm with her father as they surveyed the psychiatric ward. She felt bad for sticky-beaking but couldn’t help herself. It was Dr. Karl Phillips.

  Jade had met him earlier that day and he’d asked her, politely, to keep an eye on his troubled daughter – or perhaps he’d used the word troublesome? Jade watched her. She had the looks of a silent movie star. She was beautiful with her pale white skin and long dark hair. She was elegant, in spite of the fact that she was dressed like a man. Go figure.

  Karl Phillips was well-known and Jade respected him for his work on mental illness. She’d read about him several times and even perused some of his published works. Dr. Phillips had made some impressive findings, particularly on personality and mood disorders. Not surprising, since she had also read that Dr. Phillips had lost his wife to depression.

  Jade thought of how terrified the man must be right now. He had to put his daughter into the exact same place, where his wife had taken her own life, just decades before.

  She remembered reading somewhere that these two weren’t even related – that Samantha Phillips was adopted. Had he adopted her knowing about her condition? Probably. Jade realised that she’d been caught staring and looked down at the table, covered in cards. She was playing concentration with Freddy and she was losing.

  Apparently only nurses and volunteers spent quality time with the patients, but Jade had promised herself to do it, too. She believed it would play a large part in building the relationships and trust needed. Besides, she wasn’t swamped. No home life meant you went to work early and left late.

  ‘What’s up, Doc?’ Jade jumped half a foot in the air when Anne placed a heavy hand on her shoulder. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. You’re staying late today?’

  ‘Yeah, I promised Freddy I’d play.’

  ‘I see.’ Anne had already been a great comfort to Jade over the past few days. Her unbearable new boss, Dr. Green, had attempted to make her life a living hell. Anne had assured her that it was only a test. She’d pass with flying colours if she could ignore his rudeness and not stare too long at his balding head. Jade had laughed wholeheartedly at this.

  ‘Your turn, Jade!’ Freddy chimed while jumping up and down on his chair, donning his new frog onesie. She turned over two cards but didn’t find a pair. Freddy clapped his hand
s and turned over his newly found two of hearts and matched it with the spades he’d found earlier.

  What interested Jade was that Freddy didn’t have disintegrating social skills. He could interact beautifully and could string sentences together that made perfect sense, in the right context most of the time. Perhaps he was having a good couple of days.

  Jade stole another glimpse at Karl and Anne caught her. The nurse grinned. ‘Got your eye on Karl, honey? I can see why. I wouldn’t mind a piece of that.’

  Jade shook her head in disbelief and laughed at Anne, who started tidying the magazines on the common-room tables.

  ‘He’s old enough to be my grandfather!’

  Anne shrugged.

  ‘I’ve been asked to look after his daughter, Samantha Phillips.’

  ‘Oh?’ Anne looked at Jade expectantly, waiting for more. The young doctor was about to speak when her boss entered the room through the door attached to the males’ wing. He descended on her so like a hungry raptor that she found herself wanting to pull her head down into her body, like a vulnerable baby turtle. However, pretending that your predator wasn’t going to attack wasn’t going to stop it in mid-air, so she straightened up, preparing for the latest crisis. Freddy excused himself and Jade didn’t blame him one little bit as he bounded over to the couch.

  ‘Dr. Green.’ Jade’s herculean effort at a smile only managed to curl the right side of her lip and end in a sneer. Green recoiled, unused to such obvious revulsion.

  Anne swept in to save the day, dipping each syllable in chocolate. ‘Dr. Green. Always a pleasure.’

  Jade, never good at hiding her feelings, was impressed at the straight face Anne was able to keep.

  ‘Nurse.’ He nodded and turned to Jade. ‘Dr. Thatcher, you will meet the rest of your patients tomorrow.’ Green’s eyebrows seemed to be stuck on furrow mode and Jade unconsciously mimicked him. ‘Your first group session is tomorrow morning at eight sharp. I hope you don’t have any plans this evening because you’ll need that time to read through the patient files I’ve left on your desk. I expect that you’ll know their cases inside and out before tomorrow morning. And don’t look at me that way. This is part of your job, young woman. Group therapy sessions will be part of your daily work from tomorrow onwards.’

  ‘M... my desk?’

  ‘I’ve put you in Dr. Hanson’s old office. Should you need additional information on these patients, you’ll find his notes in the locked filing cabinet. Keys.’ He tossed them at her, then glanced over his shoulder to be sure that Anne had gone on her way. ‘I caught up with Mr. Parks this morning.’

  ‘Mr. Parks?’

  ‘Fredrick Parks, Dr. Thatcher. Your patient – remember?’

  ‘Oh yes, Freddy.’

  His visage darkened. ‘The next time you have a session with a patient, under no circumstances should you humour him in reference to his paranoia. Fredrick Parks does not need to have his delusions reinforced by the supposed professionals in this ward. Is that understood?’ Jade almost saluted, but stopped herself in time and just nodded.

  ‘On the plus side, the patient seems somewhat happier since your chat. Your report thrilled me with its accuracy.’ He turned and stalked off through the same door that he’d burst in through.

  Anne glanced up at Jade and read her mind.

  ‘Yes, he is the Antichrist. But he likes you. He just gave you a compliment.’

  ‘That was a compliment?’

  ‘Hey, take ‘em any way you can get ‘em, kid. That’s as gushy as he gets. And don’t forget your office, and in the first week, yet! Believe me, that’s some kind of record around this dump.’

  Jade tried to feel gratitude but only resentment came. She should’ve been given an office on her first day. Old coot thought he was doing her some gigantic favour and thought she should kiss his damned feet over it.

  ‘Well, I think I’ll go take a look at it before I shed any grateful tears. I don’t suppose Freddy’s coming back, so I’ll see you later.’

  Along the way, Jade wondered how many patients she would have and how many Green would take – that is, if his royal highness took any at all. Perhaps she would counsel all of them. There were currently ten patients at Rowan’s Home and she would also be required to take on some outpatients, as well. It would be a lot of work but she wasn’t unhappy about it. It kept her mind off the fact that she had no friends or love life to speak of.

  Jade supposed that it wouldn’t be so difficult with Anne around. Psychiatric nurses often ran the show, and Anne’s ward rounds were impeccable. She filled out her paper work, kept the other nurses in check and had medication with proper dosages at the ready for Green when he tumbled in and out.

  Dr. Green seemed constantly busy, running back and forth to Maine, as well as to and from the university. Apparently he was overseeing research on emotional, social and behavioural states in children. Jade wondered if she’d ever work with him outside of the Home one day. She dismissed the idea. Who would want to work with Green?

  Jade soon found herself sitting behind a dark, brown desk. It was cheaply made and when she opened the top drawer, the entire table swayed. However, now that she was here, she was grateful. Though the room looked like it hadn’t seen a decorator in some fifty years, it was her room, with her flimsy desk, and she would soon call it home and be comfortable there.

  The Green Monster must’ve liked her more than she had thought. He’d given her a place to escape. It would be so easy to lock the door, pull the blinds shut and hide from him.

  But with her luck, he’d just huff and puff, and blow the door down.

  Jade chuckled to herself about the list of cruel names that she and Anne had come up with for Dr. Green on her first day, and felt instant remorse. Perhaps he was just misunderstood. There had been times in her life when people hadn’t liked her and it had usually been before they’d really gotten to know her. She tried to picture him in some type of difficult situation where he was helpless and vulnerable, like in a pool drowning, or huddled in a corner during a robbery, pissing his pants with fear. It usually helped her to like people better when she imagined them powerless, but it didn’t work this time. Why was he so difficult to like?

  The best thing about the office wasn’t the fabulously oversized filing cabinet, but the treasures inside it. She flipped through and found a trove of manila folders, with big red stamps on the covers marked ‘confidential’ or ‘highly confidential’. They were copies of patient records.

  Even though her shift had ended long ago, Jade sat for hours reading, analysing, coming to conclusions, changing her mind and re-reading. She imagined the patients were all hers and decided what she would do with each and every one. What course of action would be best? She could then compare her choices with what was recommended by Green. After all, he’d been doing it for longer than she’d been alive.

  Jade had also found papers by Dr. Karl Phillips stashed away and noticed that Dr. Green’s name often showed up next to his. She’d overlooked his accomplishments and although she didn’t like Green, she started to respect him. He was a jerk, but he was an intelligent jerk.

  Another thing she noticed was the names. There were so many different doctors who’d written in the files. She wondered why there was such a high turnover at Rowan’s Home. It was a regular revolving door.

  Jade glanced up at the wall clock. It was almost six. The doctor put all of the other files away and picked up the three most important ones. The three that Green had specifically left her would need her full attention. She read them all several times, making notes.

  Freddy Parks, 35-year-old male, diagnosed with two major criteria of Schizophrenia being delusions and hallucinations. Rarely exhibits symptoms of disorganised speech. Obvious cognitive delays. Almost exactly what she’d reported herself. She could handle Freddy, his hallucinations were not as bizarre as some and he was no threat
to anyone. Jade had a good feeling about him – they had connected immediately. She had several plans of action in mind where he was concerned. His file went on forever. But it wasn’t as long as Samantha’s, and Jade noticed that some of the report had been written by her father about a year prior, when Sam had been an outpatient.

  Samantha Phillips, 18-year-old female, diagnosed with three criteria in clusters A and B of Personality Disorders being paranoid, antisocial and histrionic and showing strong indications of Antisocial Personality Disorder. This worried Jade a little more. The girl had been arrested and charged on four separate occasions for robbery, breaking and entering, and physical assault, causing grievous bodily harm. She had recently spent six months in prison, and after reading the reports, Jade felt she’d gotten off easy. But of course, being in a small town with a powerful father made all the difference.

  Prison had obviously done nothing for the adolescent. Samantha was surely being put into Rowan’s Home, as a last ditch effort to save her from a life sentence somewhere. But perhaps she was being too harsh. She supposed that if it had been her daughter, she would’ve done all that she could, too.

  Her next patient was also a little scary.

  George Barter, aged 43, diagnosed with three criteria in clusters B and C of Personality Disorders being narcissistic, and from one absolute extreme of histrionic behaviour followed by avoidant behaviours. One moment George would be attention-seeking with excessive emotionality and the next he would be overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and spend days locked in a room on his own. Here he would express signs of agoraphobia. Green had even written some notes himself on this particular character and after sifting through the hefty folder, it seemed Jade’s new patient had been to Rowan’s before – back when Green would’ve been a rookie. In fact, it looked like Green had been his doctor for a long while.

  There was another set of handwriting throughout, but Jade couldn’t quite make out the signatures. The doctor seemed to be ranting on about some nonsense. Jade read through it and noticed an ‘h’ at the beginning of the surname. Maybe that’s where the last counsellor, ‘Dr. Harry’ had gone ... mad. Had that been what she’d heard?