Finding Home

by Kingsbury, Karen

  Mom looked at Amber. “How short will it have to be?”

  Amber put her hand near the base of Ashley’s neck. “About like this.”

  “Okay…” Mom shook her head. “Whatever you have to do. Just get it out.”

  “Excuse me.” Ashley raised her finger. “I’d like to keep my hair long. Thank you.”

  The girl did a sad smile. “I understand, sweetie.” She combed Ashley’s good side again. “You have the most beautiful hair.”

  In the end, it didn’t matter if Amber was sad about cutting Ashley’s hair or if Mom was still in shock. The germy, sticky gum had to go. So that meant her hair had to go, too. Ashley closed her eyes tight so she wouldn’t be witness to the terrible tragedy of seeing her hair fall to the ground.

  A snip here, a snip there. Snip, snip, snip. Ashley kept her eyes closed through the whole thing. One side benefit was not seeing the scissors. It took away all her fear of being cut.

  “You’re doing great…” Amber’s voice sounded calm.

  “Thank you.” Ashley could feel cold air against her shoulders where hair was supposed to be. “I’m really trying to be a good sport.”

  Another minute of snipping and then Ashley felt the scissors stop.

  “Okay… it’s done.” Amber sounded hopeful. “The gum is all gone.”

  Ashley opened just one eyeball and looked in the mirror. She took a deep breath and opened the other one. Near her face, her hair was chopped just below her ears. It got a few inches longer toward the back of her neck. Ashley stared at the girl in the mirror. Was that really her?

  The hair-cutter girl seemed proud of her work. “I’d say… you look like a French model. Very fashion forward.”

  “Thank you.” Ashley stood and nodded at the girl. Before Mom could say anything, Ashley ran into her arms. “It’s… kinda short!”

  “Not really.” Mom put her hands on Ashley’s shoulders and looked her over. “You’re so pretty, Ashley. Shorter hair makes your face that much more beautiful.”

  It was the number one compliment Ashley had ever gotten. Choose joy, she told herself. Have an attitude of gratitude. You can do it. Ashley felt determination filling her. She grabbed a deep breath and gave her mom a minigrin. “Maybe we won’t need a bag, after all.”

  Her mom laughed out loud. “No. I think not.”

  Back at the house, Brooke was helping Kari peel potatoes when Ashley and Mom walked in. Brooke stood still and studied her. Like she was looking at a painting in a museum. “It doesn’t look too bad, Ashley.” She nudged Kari. “Right?”

  “Yeah.” Kari dried her hands and came closer. “Just a little… different.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Ashley didn’t like what was happening here.

  Just then Luke came in from outside. He put the brakes on as soon as he saw Ashley. “Whoa.” He shuffled a few steps closer. His eyes grew wide, like he was seeing a real-life dinosaur. “Why’d you cut your hair off, Ash?”

  “That’s it.” The sun hadn’t set, so Ashley ran out the door, down the porch stairs, all the way through the yard to the very back. Where the rock sat against the stream. She climbed up and plopped down in the middle. And only then did she give her tears permission to escape.

  “Why did he have to spit the gum at me?” She said the words to the sky, for God to hear. But there was no answer. Ashley worked her fingers through her hair. She missed how long it used to be.

  After a few minutes her tears stopped and an afternoon breeze dried her cheeks. She was sitting right next to the word BAXTER that Brooke had painted on the rock. Ashley traced it. Just maybe she had overreacted back at the house.

  But why couldn’t her siblings say a compliment like Mom did? No one wanted to look different. Just then, Ashley saw the most amazing thing. Fluttering a few feet away from her was a black and orange butterfly. Ashley wiped her nose and stood. “Samson…?” She pulled the sleeves of her sweater down and bunched them in her hands, tiptoeing over to the butterfly.

  Ashley was certain it was him. He must have listened to Lydia, and now he had come to say hello to Ashley. So she would know her hair looked nice. His wings fluttered a few times and then he took off, and flew up, up and away. “Take me with you,” Ashley called out as the butterfly disappeared beyond the trees.

  She heard a noise behind her, and a few seconds later, Brooke and Kari appeared.

  “Hey.” Kari climbed up on the rock and sat beside Ashley. “I’m really sorry.”

  Brooke followed and moved to Ashley’s other side. “We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I like your hair. I really do!”

  Ashley sniffed. “You said it looked different.”

  “Well… it does.” Brooke let out a friendly laugh. “I’d be lying if I said it didn’t.” She put her arm around Ashley. “But it also looks great.”

  “It’s the new you, Ash!” Kari bumped shoulders with her. “You look like an actress.”

  Ashley’s heart was starting to feel better. “You mean it?”

  “Definitely.” Kari nodded. “I’m sorry again.”

  “I forgive you.” Ashley exhaled long and slow. “I mean… who spits gum in someone’s hair?” She shrugged. “Anyway, he didn’t mean it. He tries to be nice.” She giggled. “He keeps asking me to take him to my leader.” She shrugged. “Whatever that means.”

  All the girls laughed and together they left the tree clearing. Hand in hand they walked back to the house, talking about Elliot and the gum tangle and Ashley’s new look.

  Ashley told them about Samson coming to see her at just the right time. And Kari and Brooke both thought that was nice. Ashley smiled at them. She liked having these sisters. And Erin and Luke weren’t bad, either.

  That night she did a sketch of herself with short hair. Also a pile of her old wonderful hair caught in a mess of gum on the floor beside her. Ashley studied the drawing. Maybe her class would think she was a different new girl and overnight she’d have all kinds of friends. And maybe they’d love her short hair—even Landon Blake. Of course, if that happened she would have Elliot to thank.

  Him and his giant piece of chewing gum and the biggest tangle ever.

  14 The Broken Arm

  KARI

  The school’s first swim meet was nearly finished. Kari stood second in a row of four girls ready for the last event. The relay. The contest was at the rec center’s indoor pool, but right now the whole place felt freezing cold.

  Kari wiggled her chilly toes against the wet cement. Her coach’s words filled her head. The second spot in a relay is very important. Never look at the swimmers on your right or left. Just go as fast as you can and pace yourself. Don’t forget to breathe.

  “Last is the freestyle relay.” The announcer paused. “Six teams will compete in this event. Including the cheater of the year, Kari Baxter.”

  Kari jerked her head toward the announcer’s stand. Was he really calling her out in front of everyone? She squinted, focusing on the people at the table. How did they know what she had done?

  “Kari!” Liza’s voice was sharp and loud. “Are you listening to me? I’ve been calling your name!”

  Kari blinked a few times and turned to her friend. This time Liza had the right to be bossy. They were about to swim, after all. “Sorry!” Kari did a slight shake of her head. Now she was imagining voices. Great.

  “We gotta stay focused!” Liza turned to the others. “Okay, everyone. Let’s huddle.”

  They put their arms around each other and formed a small circle. Liza spoke straight at them. “We can do this! We’re going to win.” Confidence filled her voice. “Everyone just do your best!”

  A few seconds later the announcer asked the first swimmers to take their marks and Kari watched to see if he would mention her cheating again. Or maybe that had been her imagination. The pressure of the secret and the rocks of guilt weighed on her more every day.

  No one said anything else about her being a cheater.

  Liza got in posi
tion. The gun went off and she dove into the pool alongside the other swimmers. All of them raced for the far wall.

  Kari tightened her goggles. It was time for her to take her mark. Already Liza had hit the wall and she was swimming back. Kari took a deep breath. Calm, she told herself. Stay calm. She crouched down. She wanted to win this relay. It would keep her from thinking about being a cheater. At least for a few days.

  The swimmers were getting closer. Liza was in second place and catching up.

  When her friend slapped the wall, Kari dove into the pool and began to swim. The second spot is very important. Kari kicked like she’d never kicked before. She felt like a dolphin, gliding through the water. Never look to the right or left… go fast… pace yourself.

  Kari hit the wall and did a somersault turn like Coach Miller had taught them. Faster and faster. Muffled echoes of cheers and shouts from the stands hummed in her ears. What was the last thing?

  Her arms sliced through the pool and she kicked still faster. Water rushed by as she kept her head down, blowing bubbles as she swam. Her heart pounded in her chest and her legs started to feel heavy. What was that last thing the coach said? Then she remembered.

  Breathe!

  That was it. The last thing was to take a breath. Kari tilted her head to one side and gasped a quick breath. Air was just what she needed. She gave a burst of effort and focused on the wall in front of her. Closer and closer and… SLAP. She hit it.

  She tore off her goggles and concentrated on catching her breath. Already the next swimmer, a girl named Cheryl, was blazing hard for the other wall. Cheryl was new to their relay team. Kari lifted herself up and out of the pool. As she did, she spotted something in the crowd.

  Brooke, Luke, and Erin were holding a sign that read, WE LOVE YOU, KARI! Dad whistled and threw her a big thumbs-up, and Mom did the same. Kari’s whole family was here! Ashley cupped her hands to her mouth. “Yay, Kari! You’re the greatest!”

  Kari grinned and waved. She had the best family ever.

  Last into the pool was Mandy. Kari turned her attention back to the race as her friend flew through the water. The victory was riding on her. And suddenly Mandy swam her way into first place. Kari and Liza and Cheryl jumped and shouted, and Coach Miller joined them.

  The girls clapped and cheered as Mandy’s arms moved like a windmill. Her feet were kicking so fast they looked like actual flippers. Seconds later, ahead of all the other swimmers, Mandy smacked her hand against the wall.

  “We did it!” Kari shouted. They waited for Mandy to join them, then they circled up again, still bouncing and yelling.

  They had won their very first meet!

  As they celebrated, a thought occurred to Kari. This was the right way to win. Cheating her way to an A on that history quiz was wrong, and she needed to do something about it. Needed to say something. Soon.

  Yes, she might get kicked out of school or grounded for a year. Her family might never think of her the same way again. But that didn’t matter.

  She’d been carrying the rocks around too long.

  * * *

  Kari’s relay team made plans to spend the night at her house, and Kari could hardly wait. Cheryl was busy with a family wedding, but Mandy and Liza would be there any minute. So, Kari decided this wasn’t the night to tell her parents about her cheating. The crime was pressing in, hurting her heart. But she couldn’t come clean today. Bad news only made happy days sad. And Kari didn’t want anything sad.

  Not after their win.

  But she would tell them soon. For sure.

  Just before the girls arrived, Kari and Ashley helped Mom set up the food. Dad was outside grilling burgers. Ashley opened a bag of chips and poured them into a wooden bowl. “I’m still amazed.” She smiled at Kari. “You were like a pro swimmer out there!”

  “Yes.” Mom found her cutting board and started chopping tomatoes and onions. “You were terrific, Kari!”

  “Thanks! I can’t believe we won.” She stirred the chip dip. “I was so nervous.”

  Ashley smiled. “You looked as brave as Wonder Woman.”

  “Hardly.” Kari laughed. “I can’t wait to see you on the gymnastics floor!”

  Dad brought the cooked burgers inside and set them on the counter. “These are going to be good!” He grinned at Kari. “Anything for the champions.”

  Mom came over and put her arms around Dad’s waist. “Girls”—she grinned—“your father is a pro too.” Then she kissed his cheek.

  At the same time the doorbell rang and Kari jumped. “I’ll get it!” She raced down the hall to the front door. Liza and Mandy stood there with their sleeping bags.

  “We got here at the same time!” Mandy laughed. She adjusted her glasses.

  “Yay!” Kari and her friends squealed a little. Kari helped them in and shut the door behind them. “This is going to be so fun!”

  When they reached the kitchen, Kari introduced the girls to her family. After Mom said hello, she stepped into the pantry for something.

  Kari followed her. “Hey, Mom.” Kari hugged her mother. “Can you believe it? My new friends are actually here! This is the best!” She looked into her mother’s warm eyes. “Thanks. For letting them spend the night. You’re the nicest mom ever.”

  “I like when you have friends over.” Her mother kissed the top of Kari’s head. “That’s the sort of house your dad and I always want to have. And a good girl like you deserves to have fun nights like this one.”

  That’s when Kari remembered her awful secret. Her smile faded as she walked back into the kitchen. If Mom knew who Kari really was, she wouldn’t have said that. Cheaters shouldn’t have friends over.

  Now was not the time to get emotional. She had a fun night ahead of her. Kari forced a smile and joined her friends. They were eating chips and talking to Ashley.

  But before Kari could help her mom with the baked beans, Brooke and Erin ran in through the back door. Their faces were pale and their eyes looked panicked. “Someone help!” Brooke cried out. “Luke fell from the tree!”

  “What?” Mom dropped the bean spoon, and ran to the door. “Is he okay?”

  Brooke was breathing fast. “I think…” She tapped her elbow. “I think it’s his arm.”

  Mom rushed out the door with Dad. Brooke and Erin stayed inside. Kari felt sick. She looked at her friends and then at Ashley. Her sister’s face was white as paper. “You okay?” Kari put her hand on Ashley’s shoulder.

  “I’m scared.” Ashley kept her eyes on the door. “Luke’s so little.” She blinked, still staring across the room. “He may be tough, but he’s small. I should have been out there.”

  Kari leaned over and hugged her sister’s shoulders. “Why was Luke climbing that old tree anyway? Dad told him not to.”

  Seconds later, Dad and Mom rushed back inside. Dad was carrying Luke, who had tears running down his cheeks. He was making fast gasping sounds, like he was trying to be strong.

  “It’s broken.” Dad gave the rest of them a certain look. He glanced down at Luke. “Hang in there, buddy.” Dad grabbed his keys, set Luke back on his feet, and with slow steps the two walked toward the garage door. “I’m gonna take him in.” He turned back to the girls. “Mom will stay here.”

  Mom looked like she wanted to go, too. “Luke, you’re being so brave. I’ll pray for you from here. Can you find a phone when you get there? Give me an update?”

  Dad nodded. “Of course.”

  Kari thought her mom might cry, too. She stooped down to Luke’s level. “It’ll be okay, honey. We’ll be praying.” She held his good hand. “God is with you, Luke. And Daddy, too. You won’t ever be alone.”

  Dad and Luke left in a hurry and a few moments of silence followed while Kari’s mom stood at the door, her head bowed. Then she faced the girls. “He’s going to be fine.” She sat at the table with them. “He’ll probably need a cast. That’s all.” She looked at the food spread out on the counter. “We might as well eat.”

  “I�
��m not hungry.” Ashley sat back in her chair. “Not anymore.”

  Kari and Brooke and Erin weren’t, either.

  But it was awkward with Kari’s friends there. This should have been a fun night with Mandy and Liza, and now Luke’s broken arm had ruined everything. Of course, it wasn’t his fault. Kari stared at the floor. Then she looked straight into her mother’s eyes. She wanted to ask what they were they going to do now.

  Mom sighed. She seemed to have more control. A quick search through two drawers and she found a stack of paper plates. “No one has to eat.” She put the plates by the burgers. “But I think we’d all feel better if we did.”

  Kari wasn’t sure what else to do. So she took a plate and a burger from the counter. The other girls did the same, and the group followed Mom back to the kitchen table.

  As they sat down, Mom looked around at each of them. “Let’s pray.”

  Kari’s friends nodded. Liza folded her hands together. “We pray at my house, too.”

  “Interesting.” Mandy shrugged. She smiled at Kari. “I like the idea.”

  “Great. Okay, then.” Mom smiled and closed her eyes. “Father, thank You for our food, and thank You for our new friends.” Her tone grew more concerned. “Please comfort Luke as he heads to the hospital. Be with the doctor who is working on him, and help him heal completely. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  They opened their eyes and Mandy grinned at Kari’s mother. “That’s it? That’s praying? Just talking to God?”

  “Exactly.” Ashley picked up her fork. “I talk to Him all the time! Because I’m a quandary.” She winked at their mother. “Right, Mom?”

  “Yes.” Their mother’s smile looked a little softer. “Often, you are. In all the best ways, Ashley.” She took a long breath. All the girls were looking at her. “So… I broke a bone once.” The memory seemed fresh for Mom. “I was trying to impress a boy at school. We were on the swings, going superhigh and jumping off.” She shook her head. “We wanted to see who could land the farthest out.”

  “So… you jumped?” Brooke leaned in, clearly surprised.