Finding Home

by Kingsbury, Karen

  She laughed.

  * * *

  Saturday morning came and Ashley sat on her bedroom windowsill, watching the red and yellow leaves fall from the big tree out front. Something about the leaves reminded Ashley of herself. Changing colors. Trying to hang on. She watched another few leaves drift down. Did they struggle with letting go of the tree branch? Was change hard for them, too?

  She pulled out her sketchbook and drew the tree. In her picture, some of the leaves were falling. The way she had been falling at first in fifth grade.

  After she finished drawing, she looked out the window again. School was getting better all the time. But still on pretty days like this she missed Ann Arbor. More than anyone else in the family, apparently. She missed fourth grade and Miss Wilson and Samson the butterfly and Lydia. Lydia most of all.

  She even missed Eric Powers.

  Ashley turned from the window and put her shoes on. Maybe the issue wasn’t this house or the city or the new school. Maybe it was her attitude.

  Whatever it was, she wanted to work through it.

  They were leaving in just a few minutes for the Fall Festival, and Ashley didn’t want to be late. She hurried downstairs.

  “Morning!” She jumped off the last step. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table. “Let the festival fun begin!”

  “Good morning.” Her mother sipped her coffee and smiled. “You’re very happy today.”

  “Yes, I am.” See? she told herself. You can improve your attitude, Ashley Baxter! It was her choice. “It’s Festival Day, Mother!” Ashley stared at her mom, who was still smiling. All this time. “And what are you so happy about?”

  “The Fall Festival, of course.” Mom laughed. “I love fall. Can’t get enough!”

  The house smelled like cinnamon, but something was fishy here.

  Just then the doorbell rang and Mom nodded at Ashley. “How about you get it?” Her eyes looked shiny. “Maybe it’s a surprise!”

  A surprise? Ashley’s heart raced. A surprise at the door? It could be her gymnastics team, or Mr. Garrett and his wife, or the hair-cutter girl.

  Ashley ran to the front door, and when she opened it, she nearly dropped flat on the floor. “Lydia!” Ashley couldn’t get to her old friend fast enough. She hugged her before Lydia could say a word. “You’re here! I can’t believe you’re here!”

  “Me, too!” Lydia stepped back and looked up. “Your house is really pretty!” She hugged Ashley again. “I missed you so much.”

  Lydia’s mom stood there, too. “Hi, Ashley! We thought we’d stop by!”

  “This is the best stop by I’ve ever had!” Ashley squealed and held Lydia’s hands and the two girls jumped and jumped around the porch.

  After a while, they slowed down. It took a minute for them to catch their breath. Lydia looked at her for a while, right in Ashley’s eyes. “You look… older.”

  “No.” Ashley shook her head. “It’s the hair. I had to cut it.”

  “Yeah.” Lydia grinned. “Maybe that’s it. I like it.”

  “Thanks.” The gum story could come later. “But I guess we both look older.” Ashley laughed a little. “Because we are.”

  Mom joined them. She put her arm around Ashley. “Lydia and her mom are driving to Kentucky later today for her uncle’s wedding. They decided to come here first!”

  Ashley’s face lit up. “Lydia! You can go with us to the Fall Festival!” She jumped a few more times. “We can get caramel apples and take a hayride!”

  Mom grinned. “For a few hours only. They’re on a tight schedule.”

  “Then let’s go!” Ashley shouted. She took Lydia’s hand and, after a quick tour of their new house, they headed to the festival.

  Downtown Bloomington’s square was closed off to cars, which meant a million people could walk around everywhere without worrying about traffic. Ashley rode in Lydia’s car, and she could feel her excitement building. “We love to come down here.” She pointed at a brick building. “That’s our favorite restaurant.”

  “Oooh.” Lydia sat taller in her seat and looked at everything Ashley pointed out. “I think I love it here, too!”

  They parked and started at one end of the square. Dad took Luke’s hand, and Mom had Erin. Brooke and Kari walked together and Ashley stayed with Lydia and her mom. The sky was bluer than it had been all fall and the sound of fiddle music came from the main stage. The air smelled like sweet caramel and pumpkin spice.

  Everything was decorated for fall. Pumpkins and hay bales marked the edges of the street and every now and then they passed booths with happy people selling muffins and cookies, jams and homemade crafts.

  Lydia looked at Ashley. “You should sell your paintings here someday!”

  The idea lit up Ashley’s heart. “You’re right!” She loved the sound of that. “I will definitely do that.”

  As they walked, Ashley told Lydia about her muddy day and how she had hidden behind her backpack.

  Lydia giggled. “You’re still the same Ashley Baxter.” She touched the ends of Ashley’s short hair. “What’s the story here?”

  So Ashley told her about Elliot and the giant gum tangle, and then about mean Chris and the unlikely friend she’d made in Landon Blake. Also how she’d gotten lost at the zoo with Landon and how they had made the best of it by becoming explorers. “And the happiest part—no handcuffs from the security guard.”

  Lydia had tears from laughing so hard. “I sure miss you, Ashley. There’s no one like you back home.”

  “And”—Ashley gave her friend a sad smile—“there’s no one like you here.”

  She told Lydia about Natalie and her dad serving in the military and about the Baxter children’s adventures on the big rock behind their new house. “Also, sometimes… if you look real hard… the grass becomes green lava.” Ashley gave a quick nod. “It’s true.”

  The group stopped for pumpkin bread and then sat at a picnic table to eat it. Once they were situated, Ashley turned to Lydia. “How’s our school? And how about that Eric Powers?” She rolled her eyes. “Still causing trouble?”

  Lydia made a pensive face. “He changed schools.” She shrugged. “Haven’t seen him all year.”

  It took a minute for that sad news to sink in. Eric had changed schools? Did everyone and everything always have to change? Just like the leaves? Ashley sighed. “So… everything’s different?”

  Lydia shook her head. “Not everything.” She grinned big. “I saw Samson the butterfly the other day! I came out for recess and he was right there… on the wall by my new classroom.”

  Finally. Ashley tried to smile. Something had stayed the same. “Of course he came back to you, Lydia. He came to me, too. You and me liked Samson the best.” Ashley put her hand on Lydia’s shoulder. “You tell Samson I said hello. And tell him not to leave.” She hesitated. “Too many people do that.”

  The smile on Lydia’s face melted a little and her eyes got soft. “I’ll tell him, Ash. I will.”

  Once they started walking again Lydia took a deep breath. “I have a new class friend. Her name’s Sarah. She’s great.” Lydia gave Ashley a nervous smile. “We’re even planning the class fall party!”

  Ashley swallowed that detail. “Wow.” She tried to find the right sort of smile. “I’m sure she’s not as good at planning parties as me.”

  “No.” Lydia angled her head and kindness warmed her voice. “No, there’s no one like you, Ashley.” The girls skipped over to the craft tent, where they made wreaths of small squash and fall leaves. They laughed when Lydia spilled her glue and again when Ashley got glitter in her hair.

  “I hope it comes out.” Ashley raised her shoulders a few times. “I can’t cut it any shorter.”

  Lydia and Ashley laughed so hard they could barely talk. And everything was exactly perfect. Two best friends together again.

  Even if only for a short time.

  20 Finding Home

  ASHLEY

  The group walked a little farther through the
festival streets. Ashley’s thoughts were crowding her mind today. The truth was, life had changed. She and Lydia had new friends and they were doing different things. And maybe that was just part of the sometimes hard journey of growing up.

  Aching images kept filling Ashley’s heart. Eric Powers and Ann Arbor and Lydia. Her special butterfly, Samson, and her old fourth-grade class. Even her old home. And at that exact moment, Ashley spotted Natalie.

  “Hey!” Ashley called out. “Hey, Natalie!” Ashley waved. “Natalie, come meet Lydia!”

  From a distance, Natalie’s face lit up. Then Ashley noticed something. Her new friend was with her mom and… and a tall, strong man in an army uniform.

  Ashley gasped. Wait! Maybe this was—

  “Look who came home!” Natalie ran up with the man. They were holding hands and Natalie had never looked happier. “My daddy surprised me!” She hugged the man’s waist for a long time. Like she might never let go. “Dad”—she smiled up at him—“this is my new best friend, Ashley!”

  New best friend? Ashley couldn’t believe it. What was this? She actually had a new best friend! And it was the most surprising friend of all.

  “Hello.” The man in the uniform had a deep voice. He shook Ashley’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Ashley.”

  “Yes, sir.” Ashley thought about her own daddy. What if he’d been gone all year? No wonder Natalie had been so quiet. Ashley looked at the man for a long moment. “Thank you for serving. I’m… glad you’re home.”

  “Thank you.” He nodded. “Me, too.”

  “And me!” Natalie was still hugging his waist. She was probably going to stay that way all day.

  Natalie’s daddy grinned at Ashley. “You must be something special if my little girl calls you her best friend.” He kissed the top of Natalie’s head. “I’ve been praying night and day that God would give Natalie a friend.”

  That thought took Ashley’s breath. Natalie’s father overseas fighting for freedom, but most concerned that his daughter would find a friend. And to think that she—Ashley Baxter—was the answer to his prayers.

  The details filled Ashley’s heart to overflowing.

  Lydia came up then. “Ashley is special, sir.” She linked arms with Ashley. “I can promise you that.” Lydia smiled at Ashley. “She was my best friend last year.”

  At first Ashley was going to correct Lydia. Not her best friend last year. Her best friend forever. But she kept the thought to herself. She introduced Natalie to Lydia.

  “Hi!” Lydia looked at Natalie’s outfit. “I like your skirt!”

  “Thanks.” Natalie’s smile looked good on her. “I’m gonna do a wreath with my parents.” She waved. “Nice meeting you, Lydia.” She turned to Ashley. “See you in class!”

  “Bye.” Ashley watched her go, and then she turned to Lydia. “Natalie’s great.” She was going to tell Lydia about the rocky start with Natalie.

  But it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

  The girls were still carrying their wreaths as they hurried off toward the stage to meet up with the others. It was time for Brooke’s school orchestra to perform!

  While the music played, Ashley couldn’t stop smiling at her oldest sister. Brooke looked like a professional. Like she’d been playing violin forever. Ashley glanced around. Her whole family was here, the way they had been for Kari’s swim meet and Ashley’s gymnastics competition.

  Because that was how the Baxter family did things.

  When it was over, they all gathered around Brooke. “Your part was beautiful!” Mom gave her a hug.

  Dad kissed Brooke’s forehead. “That’s my girl.” He grinned at her. “So talented.”

  Ashley smiled. Dad had a way of making them all feel special. She was glad her daddy didn’t have to leave for another country.

  After a few minutes, Brooke hugged their parents and ran off with her friends. Thirteen was very old, after all. Brooke was practically an adult.

  The family and Lydia and her mom walked through the petting zoo, and after that they even got to pick out their own pumpkins. Ashley got a medium-size one. “Because my arms are still medium-size.” She smiled at her daddy. “For now!”

  Lydia’s mom carried their pumpkin. “Well…” She sighed. “Time to go, I’m afraid.”

  “Okay.” Lydia gave Ashley a sad look. “I wish we had more time.”

  Ashley set her pumpkin down, and gave Lydia a long hug. “I was thinking something this morning.” She stepped back and put her hands on Lydia’s shoulders. “When leaves have to let go of the tree, they wear their best colors and”—Ashley twirled—“they dance all the way to the ground.”

  “Mmm.” Lydia giggled even as tears seemed to shine in her eyes. “I like that.”

  “Yes.” Ashley caught her balance from the twirl. She smiled at Lydia. “I’m not going to be sad this time.” She hugged Lydia again. “I’m going to dance through the day.” She lifted her wreath. “With all my best colors.”

  Lydia looked at her, right to her heart. “Me, too.” She paused. “Glad you’re doing well without me. Really.”

  “And I’m happy you still have Samson. And Sarah.”

  The whole family was quiet, watching the friends say goodbye.

  Just then Luke raised his hand. “Ashley, I can get some napkins for your tears.”

  Ashley laughed and patted her little brother’s head. “No, Luke.” She gave her family a happy look and then turned to Lydia again. “No crying. Not this time.” One last hug and she waved goodbye. “See you again one day, Lydia.” Even though she tried not to cry, when she hugged Lydia a single tear made its way down her cheek. Ashley brushed it off with her sleeve.

  “See you, Ashley!” Then her Michigan friend and her mother walked away and disappeared into the crowd.

  “Okay!” Ashley blinked the tears from her eyes and grinned at her family. She held up her colorful wreath and did another few twirls. “What’s next?”

  Everyone had an answer. Caramel apples. The corn maze at the end of the street. The hay wagon.

  Ashley let her thoughts settle as she walked with her family. Change would always happen and people would always leave. That was part of life. As they headed for the hayride, Mom came up beside her. “Are you okay?” She ran her hand over Ashley’s glittery hair.

  Ashley hesitated. What she had said earlier was the truth. She blinked back a few more unruly tears and took a deep breath. “Yes.” She thought for a few seconds. “Lydia is doing great without me… and I am doing pretty great without her.”

  “Oh, honey.” Mom stopped walking and faced Ashley. “That’s not true.” She looked sad.

  “Yes, it is.” Ashley smiled. She wiped the wet from her cheeks. “And that’s okay.”

  “Wow.” Mom leaned back a little, clearly surprised. “Look what God did! He helped you move on.”

  “Exactly.” Ashley did another spin and a ballet-type move. “He’s helping me dance through the changes in life.” She held up her wreath. “Like autumn leaves.”

  An hour later, the family was finished with the festival. The afternoon had been so fun, but now more than anything Ashley only wanted to be one place. She took her mother’s hand. “Mom?” She looked up.

  “Yes, sweetie?” Their mother was so pretty. And she had been so patient with Ashley over these past few weeks.

  Ashley squeezed her mom’s hand and took a deep breath. “Let’s go home.”

  The rest of the family kept walking and talking and laughing, headed for the van. But Mom stopped. Hope and light and tears filled her eyes. “Honey.” She looked at Ashley. “Did you mean that? You want to go home?”

  “Yes.” Ashley’s heart had never felt happier. “I do.”

  Mom pulled her close and they swayed around for a bit. Then her mother took a deep breath. “Okay!” She took Ashley’s hand and they followed after the rest of the family. Mom’s happiness became a little laugh. “Next stop… home!”

  There was something about finally saying �
��home” that made Ashley realize a deep truth. This whole time, the house had been wonderful. Her room wasn’t really too big, and her new school was actually pretty great. Her new teacher definitely cared about her. Bloomington was beautiful, and now a few kids actually wanted to be her friend.

  Those things had never been the problem.

  The problem had been her attitude.

  Ashley had come here looking for trouble, and so she had found it. Lots of it, actually. But now that she was choosing to be happy, everything was better.

  When they got home, Ashley found her sketchbook and some pencils, and tiptoed out to the back porch. This was something she wanted to do alone. She glanced down at the white wood floor and a soft laugh bubbled up from her heart. Painting this place had been the best first day.

  Dip. Wipe. Spread.

  Ashley walked to the porch railing and looked out. Beyond the Baxter house, the sun was setting. A glow shone on the grass and through the trees. Ashley inhaled and the beauty around her filled her soul. “God, you’re quite the artist.” She tilted her face to the sky. “I have a lot to learn from You.”

  She walked down the steps and around to the front of the house. When she was out into the field a ways, she turned and faced her home. “Guess what?” she whispered. “You’re growing on me, my friend.”

  The air was crisp and golden sunlight splashed onto everything it touched. Peace came over Ashley and she felt herself relax. Ever since coming to Bloomington, she had wanted to go back home. But now, Ashley realized something.

  Home had been here all along. Which meant she had done it. In the most unexpected ways and the strangest of situations she had actually done it.

  Ashley had found home.

  She dropped to the grass and opened her sketchbook. A fresh page for her fresh attitude. Then she took her best pencil and began to draw. The heavy wooden front door and the wraparound porch. The tall windows and the dark roof and shutters. She sketched every detail. And when she was done, she studied the image.

  It was better than her drawing of the Michigan house.