A Mild Case of Indigestion

by Geoffrey Watson

  Her dress was not the latest creation from Madrid, Paris or London, but when the three of them presented themselves, there was no doubt that she was a person of consequence. Sir Arthur leapt to his feet to bend over her hand and usher her to her seat. “I understand, My Lady, that one of your past grandparents was the last King of England to lead his army into battle. That you have inherited his martial attributes cannot be in doubt, but I am touched that you should resume the less warlike costume of the gentler sex to dine with me.”

  She gave him a dazzling smile. “My ancestor died almost fifty years ago, Sir Arthur, so the connection is tenuous and even my family’s estates in Hanover are now controlled by French conquerors. I feel it is appropriate that I should not sit at your table as a kind of latter day Joan of Arc. I understand that your ancestors looked upon her with less than wholehearted approval.”

  “I am honoured by your consideration, Madam, but I could never look upon any action of yours other than with the greatest admiration. I beg that you will retain my spare mount and accept my most sincere expression of thankfulness that it was your horse and not yourself that came to grief.”

  Welbeloved’s eyes widened in surprise. “Yew did not tell me that yor horse had been killed, my dear.” He looked aghast at the thought.

  She smiled in amusement. “I do not recall, my love, that you told me that you endangered your life by stopping to drag Evans back behind the lines. Furthermore, I am sure that Sir Arthur has not mentioned that he was hit on the chest by a French ball, fortunately one that was almost spent.

  I understand that these things happen in such close-fought engagements and I was by no means the only one to suffer. I fear that his entire staff either lost their mounts or received wounds. I do not need to be convinced that it was a most desperate affair.”

  Wellesley gave his support. “The Condesa is quite correct, Welbeloved. This was the most desperate battle I ever was in. Assaye was worse for a short while, but this went on for much longer and we lost more men than we can afford. Another such affair would ruin us.”

  They were all seated in moderate comfort when he resumed. “This brings us to the reasons why I wished to talk to you all. Firstly, I must commend the heroic actions of you and your irregulars.” He smiled and stared down his long nose at Welbeloved. “I would never have believed that twenty men could outperform a battalion of my riflemen. I was watching the way you destroyed their gun batteries at ranges I did not think possible. They could have played havoc with the regiments I was rushing in to fill that gap. It could have changed the course of the battle. What was the range to the second battery?”

  Welbeloved shrugged. “Not quite four hundred yards. I think yor Greenjackets could have hit them at that range, though maybe not so quickly.”

  “They might have done if I’d had any to spare, but there were over sixty men in that battery and I would wager that you accounted for most of them in less than a minute. One of their Corps commanders, Lapisse, was shot as well and no one else was close enough to have done that. I’m beginning to think of what I might do with a couple of regiments issued with your rifles.”

  Welbeloved sat back with a rueful expression. “Nearly ten years ago I gave a demonstration to Admiral Lord Keith and his reaction was not dissimilar to yor own. Then, I would have said ‘what a good idea’. Now that I have sixty men using them, I can see all the reasons why it will not happen.”

  He could see disappointment or regret on the General’s face, so he started to enumerate his reasons. I cannot see the Horse Guards agreeing to the cost. The Admiralty wouldn’t do so and I had to pay for these myself. I could have got three hundred Baker rifles for the same outlay.

  Then you have to train the men to maintain and care for their weapons. The slightest neglect and the breech plug could jam. They have to learn to cast their own bullets and cut the sprue precisely. If the ball is too small, it is inaccurate. If it is too big, the rifle will explode in their faces.

  The qualities that are needed to use the Ferguson effectively are the qualities that are drilled out of yor average soldier. I have to say that I would doubt if the average officer in yor army is professional enough to be able to lead the above-average men I have been able to recruit.

  The thirty men I first brought to Spain underwent six months rigorous training in the Scottish highlands and were all selected from fighting men serving in the Navy, the Marines and the Army. Lord George will confirm that more than half of our original recruits could not attain the standard we demanded and were sent back to their units.”

  Vere smiled reminiscently. “After three months, Sir Arthur, I was convinced that I would be one of the rejects. Now, we have another thirty who have had to do their last three months probation here in Spain and they do seem to have reached an acceptable standard.

  I do agree though with what the Colonel has said, but not for quite the same reason. I am confident that I could train small squads of soldiers; particularly riflemen; to use Fergusons. I just cannot imagine how the army could adapt itself to a completely new system of warfare.

  Imagine five hundred, brightly coloured, and upright soldiers marching across open country against a hundred Hornets, who are lying down so that only their heads can be seen. The soldiers would all be dead before they could get near enough to see their enemy clearly, never mind being within range to fire their muskets at the tiny targets.

  I don’t doubt that you would be able to adapt your tactics and strategy to accommodate this, but I would find it difficult to name anyone else in the army that could.”

  Wellesley nodded thoughtfully. “I see that both you gentlemen have given much thought to all aspects concerning the use of your remarkable weapon. That would be noteworthy enough for most of my officers. The fact that such initiative comes from the Navy, makes me realise how technically able is our sister service.

  I would like to ponder on these matters at greater length, but there are other matters of more concern that we must discuss. Before that however, I have received a serious complaint from the commander of the light cavalry brigade.”

  He looked quizzically at Vere. “He alleges that following an abortive attack on a French column, a squadron of the Light Dragoons rescued an isolated irregular unit under your command, from the close attentions of some Polish Lancers. Whereat, instead of being grateful, you were abominably rude and insubordinate to the major commanding the Dragoons. As it was my orders that caused you to become isolated, I would like to hear your account of the incident before I make my judgement.”

  Welbeloved looked at them both closely. He could not imagine that Wellesley was serious, after specifically inviting Vere to join him for dinner. It must be some sort of test. But what? Vere was looking bored, which was usually a sign that he was about to go onto the offensive in some way or other. It seemed a good time for him to intervene.

  “Captain Vere has given me his report with an account of the action that he and his men supported yesterday, Sir Arthur. As it bears only a superficial resemblance to what you have been told, I think I should repeat it. Coming from his own lips it might just sound like an excuse or counter charge.”

  Wellesley nodded, his poker face relaxed to the extent of a crinkling of the corners of his eyes. “Pray do not keep me in suspense, Welbeloved.”

  He gave as dispassionate an account as he could of the action as reported to him, without implying any criticism of the way that the dragoons had acted. He felt that the facts spoke for themselves.

  After describing the retreat of the lancers he ended. “Captain Vere made no mention of any altercation, except to say that the major in command seemed to assume that he had been the one to rescue the Hornets and had left precipitously when told that he was less grateful than perhaps he should have been.”

  Wellesley looked at Vere. “Should you say that this is an accurate rendering of your report?”

  Vere lost much of his disinterested expression. “Of course, Sir Arthur. The Colonel has taught
me to report facts and not opinions, no matter how disappointing I find the behaviour of professional colleagues.”

  Sir Arthur smiled through thin lips. “Do not say any more Vere. I will trouble you for a copy of that report, Welbeloved and I shall deal with this affair as it deserves.

  As for the question of professional soldiers, bear in mind that the French have a professional army, as do the Prussians and the Austrians to a lesser extent. We only have a small army, recruited from the dregs of society and controlled by professional non-commissioned officers. It is led by gentlemen amateurs; officers who learn their business when they go on campaign, or not, as the case may be. We have to learn to cope with what we have and believe me, I have to cope with many very senior appointments who come from influential families. In some cases I would rejoice if they were merely incompetent, because the most I can do is to move them to positions of equivalent rank where they cannot do damage to matters of vital import.”

  He turned to Mercedes. “I shall not apologise, My Lady, that this dinner is not the social occasion you might have anticipated. I will plead that I regard you as more of a professional warrior than many of my officers and you are inextricably bound up in whatever activities I might persuade your husband to co-operate in.”

  She remained silent and he turned to Welbeloved. “Based on the news you have provided about Soult, I am taking the army back to Portugal, rather than risk being trapped here, surrounded by a host of Marshals and their armies."

  If he was expecting any signs of surprise from Welbeloved, he was to be disappointed. He gathered his thoughts for a few moments before saying anything, then “this has been the first major battle I have taken part in. The next largest was when I stood on the walls at Acre and watched General Bonaparte throw his columns at the breech.

  When the first attack was made on the Medellin on the first night, I thought that if Napoleon had been here he would have attacked two hours earlier and would have smashed through the Spanish lines at the point where those raw recruits had fled.

  Yew deserve to celebrate a remarkable victory, but as yew said yorself, yew cannot afford another one like it. The French, on the other hand, would gladly do it again and again until yew had no army left and they still had hundreds of thousands all over Spain.

  Joseph could reinforce and return at any time with two or three times yor numbers. Soult and Ney are ready; if not exactly enthusiastic; to come down behind yew with a larger force than yors. If yew take into account that the Spanish can’t feed their own army and are only promising yew food in the hope that yew will stay, perhaps one should be surprised that yew are not yet on yor way back to Lisbon.”

  Wellesley grimaced. “I have fifteen hundred wounded men and insufficient carts and carriages to carry them. General Cuesta cannot or will not provide any form of transport and I shall have to leave them in his charge, for I cannot take them with me. Forgive me Madame, but we come to try and help your countrymen and are treated worse than the French, who at least have no compunction in helping themselves to what they need.”

  “I agree Sir. It is a tragedy that many of our Hidalgos and Grandees have become venal and corrupt since Spain has been surviving on the wealth brought back from the Americas. Many have become afrancesados because they believe that the new French King will improve their lot. They are wrong of course. The French are just as venal. They are also more avaricious and have already plundered what treasures we had left to us. You can blame us for deceiving you, but not for withholding what we don’t possess.”

  “You have the truth of it, without doubt, Countess, but I cannot risk being marooned and starving between large French armies. I must leave my wounded with Cuesta and return towards Portugal, where my supplies and reinforcements lie. Whether I can return to Spain can only be speculation at this time, but if ever I am ready and able to do so, I must have reliable intelligence. Only your husband has been able to give me this up to the present.”

  He turned back to Welbeloved. “I have not met Admiral Harrison, but I am willing to wager that the Admiralty is not wholeheartedly supporting this venture of yours. Am I right?”

  “Let us just say, Sir Arthur, that there is a certain lingering prejudice against anyone born in America. Although they have made me a Post Captain, I would now be on the beach on half pay if Admiral Harrison had not resurrected the idea of the Hornets, which I originally discussed with him in the year one. Of course, it hasn’t increased my popularity; particularly with the Prince of Wales; when I allowed myself to be trapped into marriage with a scheming minx, who happens to be a distant cousin of the King.”

  Wellesley roared with laughter, while Mercedes merely looked demure, as only she could. “I am right then. If I were to establish a supply line through Lisbon and provide as much support as possible with weapons and ammunition, it would assist you in mobilising your bands of irregulars throughout the country.”

  Welbeloved nodded. “An extra means of supply would always be helpful, but clothes, shoes and food should be the main supplies. If the clothes could be of a standard, uniform pattern, of an inconspicuous colour they would be ideal for fighters who have to remain invisible when they fight.

  Lord George has already been in touch with a small band of partisans near here. They are busily harvesting the battlefield for the thousands of French muskets that the Frogs left. If yew are able to supply cartridges, it were best yew sent them in the standard French calibre. Don’t concern yorself about transport. My Brig Daphne can service Lisbon as well as Ribadeo and the Admiralty is less likely to want her back if she is fully occupied.

  Other than that, perhaps the best way to encourage the guerrilleros and infuriate the French would be to offer a bounty in silver for every despatch that they capture. It would ensure that the enemy would have to send a large escort with every messenger and further stretch their resources.”

  “That is an excellent idea, Welbeloved. By Spanish standards we can afford to be generous in such matters. Make sure that everyone is aware of the bounty and use your experience to determine how much it should be.

  All of which brings us to the part of our discussion that I fear you are not going to like. If you are successful in providing me with an intelligence system throughout Spain, I have to have one of my staff officers able to control and interpret the flow of information.

  Unfortunately for you, the outstanding candidate is Lord George Vere and I want to steal him from you. I realise that it is certain to be a great loss to your small team, but it will be an advance to his career, with immediate promotion to major. He would also be charged with recruiting and training suitable replacements for the losses you have had and will suffer in the future. I shall, of course, need agreement from you both before I can confirm this. You now see why I had to be certain that the complaints against Vere were as false as I suspected them to be.”

  Vere looked at Welbeloved with something close to panic. For once, Welbeloved was at a loss for words himself. He hadn’t considered the matter from Wellesley’s point of view, but could now see the obvious advantages, once the subject had been addressed.

  He cleared his throat noisily while he searched for the right words. “Yew have been invaluable in the last two years, George, while we have been building this unit. Losing yew would be serious for the Hornets and me, particularly yor knack of arriving to rescue us in the nick of time. It would not however be fatal. We both know that yew could have been killed in the fighting yesterday and I would much prefer to lose yew to Sir Arthur. At the very least we would have a friend at court to counterbalance the numerous enemies we have at home.”

  “More than one friend, Welbeloved,” Sir Arthur interposed. “You are forgetting me.” Welbeloved smiled and nodded and both men looked at Vere.

  On this occasion he was looking neither bored nor disinterested; poses that he had found invaluable in the past. Acute embarrassment was closer to the mark. His brain was certainly working at its usual speed though.” From the way you hav
e described the position, Sir Arthur, it seems to parallel the task that Lieutenant-Colonel Anstruthers is undertaking at this time. I would not wish to supersede my good friend in any way.”

  Wellesley smiled somewhat grimly. “Your sentiments do you credit, young man, but your own actions have contributed towards my decision. Colonel Anstruthers has been riding about behind the enemy lines, dressed like a peacock, since he was on Sir John Moore’s staff. His luck cannot hold forever and I don’t want him captured when I have another job for him.

  I need him to return to regimental duties, to rebuild and retrain a regiment of Light Dragoons which has just lost its colonel and more than half its men, including the senior major who will be resigning and returning home. I have heard that Anstruthers has already done something similar with a miscellaneous collection of Spanish horse soldiers, with a great deal of success, but you may know more about that than I do. In any case, I need some disciplined cavalry and am certain that his brevet rank of Colonel will soon be converted to full field rank. Have you any other concerns?”

  “None at all, Sir Arthur. I can see that I shall be spending much of my time in liaison with Colonel Welbeloved, so I would appear to be getting the best of both worlds.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Welbeloved was busy reorganising his command when the army started its retreat the next morning. He needed someone to replace Vere and there was no question, but that MacKay should step into his shoes, as soon as he rejoined.

  Until then, one of the sergeants would have to assume the duties of second-in-command. Both men were sound and reliable Hornets, well used to taking responsibility and leading squads of men into action.

  Both men had joined the marines originally, under circumstances that had not been investigated too thoroughly, but Welbeloved suspected that they probably involved relieving the local squire of his surplus game birds and animals, rather more often than was wise. Their fieldcraft and marksmanship were better than average, even for the Hornets.