Beautiful Deceit

by Albany Walker

  It's rare that I feel intimidated by her looks, but I do today. I guess I've never wanted someone to notice me. I'm being ridiculous. I'm acting drastically out of character for a guy, purely because I am more comfortable around Beau than any other man. He doesn’t belong to me, even if it makes him feel special to me.

  I hear his steps behind me slow as I get closer to the desk. I smile at Anna before rounding the cash register to grab his bag.

  I make my way to where he's stopped, "Here you go." He takes the bag from me and peeks inside. "I just realized I need to interview her first, so it could be a while before we get to the taste testing.” I look up at him, under the brim of his hat to meet his eyes, “You don't need to stick around. I can use a few of my regulars as guinea pigs." I keep my voice light, like it’s no big deal, which it shouldn't be.

  Beau looks around the store. We're not too busy this time of the day. It's too late for the lunch crowd and too early for the after-work people.

  "I have a few minutes," he says quietly. I'm surprised he's not leaving.

  "Ah okay. Why don't we grab a seat over there? She should be here any minute," he nods. We walk over to the soft, old sofa with two empty chairs angled in front of it, and low table that separates the grouping. I place the papers on the table as Jude walks over to us and extends his hand out to Beau.

  "Hey, I'm Jude," he says shaking Beau's hand.

  "Beau. How’s it going?" Jude shrugs and smiles as he takes a seat near the middle of the sofa, leaving me to sit closer than I normally would. I look over at him with a frown. What's he up to? "You want me to sit over there, till you're ready for your guinea pig?" Beau asks.

  I shake my head, "No it's fine. I'll just mostly watch too. Whomever we hire will be working closely with Jude." I gesture to the man seating next to me, "So it's him that'll do most of the interviewing."

  Beau nods his understanding. He sits in one of the empty chairs and looks back and forth between Jude and me. An uncomfortable silence lasts a few moments before a tall girl with blue hair walks over to our awkward group.

  "Hey Jude," she says and giggles at her overused joke.

  Jude rolls his dark blues eyes, "Molly, this is Sam the owner." I stand and shake her hand then introduce Beau.

  "This is Beau he'll be helping us determine how well you can handle the drink station." Molly smiles and takes a seat in the only empty chair.

  Jude runs through her work history and asks if she'd be comfortable being at the store at night. She's an acquaintance of his; there's some familiarity when they speak.

  Soon, she and Jude stand.

  Jude asks Beau, "Is there something special you'd like to try?"

  Beau shakes his head no, "Anything's fine." Jude rubs his hands together as he gets that twinkle back in his eyes. He and Molly move behind the drink area. I see him explaining a few things about the vintage machinery before they get started.

  Jude is twenty-five and has a degree in art history. In truth, he is seriously overqualified. He started working here after he got tired of working in a museum after a few years. He hated how lonely he got at work. He's definitely a people person and has brought the coffee cart into a serious money-making enterprise. I don’t know what I would do without all his great work.

  "Is he your partner?" I shake my head, but Beau’s question gives me an idea.

  "No, but maybe I need to change our arrangement." If Jude had more of a vested interest in the store, maybe he'd stick around. I look over at Beau, his lips are in a tight line.

  "Arrangement?" He sounds bothered.

  "Yeah, I was just thinking if I made him part-owner, at least in the coffee portion of the store, he'd stick around." I muse out loud. “He’s honestly too overqualified to just make coffee.”

  Beau clears his throat drawing my attention again, "Is he quitting?"

  "I don't think so, but Mark has to be done with his residency soon."

  "Mark?" He prompts

  "Jude's---" I tilt my head trying to indicate silently what I mean. I don’t want to out him in the store. I continue to answer, “He doesn’t share much about his personal life. He has a huge following, and they would lose it if they knew he was taken.” I tut and wave my hand in front of my face, "I usually possess a much better filter." I laugh quietly at myself.

  "I like how you say what's on your mind." There is a sweetness in his voice which makes me look closer at him.

  A question leaves my mouth before I can rethink it.

  "Why do you always wear that hat?" He seems taken back by my question but doesn't have time to form a response as Jude and Molly walk up.

  Molly sets a large tea tray on the table and begins pointing out which drinks are which. I taste two and find them agreeable. Jude and Beau split the other six.

  "I don't really know what they're supposed to taste like, but they were all good." Beau offers.

  "Thank you," Molly says sounding pleased.

  "You did great. We have a few more applicants to see, but when we make the final decision, I'll let you know."

  She smiles and gives Jude a one-armed hug, "Great! Hope to hear from you soon."

  Jude has a seat in the chair Molly was in originally.

  "So, what'd you think?" I ask him.

  "She's good. My only concern is how many jobs she's had in the past year. She said it's usually lack of hours or money that keeps her looking for something more. I don't think she’d have that problem here. Jess could use help at lunch, and I could use an extra pair of hands with the after-work rush. It would free us up a bit if we need time off."

  I nod my acceptance, "All right, but I have to ask are you planning on leaving?"

  Jude's face scrunches up, "No, what gave you that idea?"

  "Just overthinking I guess." I smile knowing I'm still going to offer him stakes in the drink counter. "I'm glad. You want to come in a little earlier on Monday?” he raises a brow at this, “I have a proposal for you."

  His eyes sparkle, "Sammy are you propositioning me?" He acts scandalized.

  "I sure am," I say low and breathless.

  We both start hooting. Beau is sitting watching us with a frown.

  "Anyway, I'm fine with whomever you decide on. I know the other two applications we've gotten don't have much barista experience."

  He nods, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure Molly's the way to go, but do you mind staying and seeing the other two?"

  "I don't have anything else going on, but no more drinks for me. I’m starting to get jittery. Give them to the regulars to get their opinion."

  "No problem." He looks at the large grandfather clock by the first shelf of books, "The next one should be here in about ten minutes, so I'm gonna run downstairs and grab some supplies." He doesn't wait for a reply, before standing and walking away.

  "Have you known him long?" I turn to face Beau again

  "He's been here for about four years I think."

  "You guys seem to have a great friendship," he sounds wistful.

  "I don't have many friends, but I count him among the best." I answer honestly. "George, the older gentleman that was here when you came to the book club, has been here the longest, even before me. I don't know what I'll do when he finally retires." I shake my head slowly, "I'm lucky he loves this old place almost as much as I do."

  He smiles fondly, his mouth framed by the shadows created by his hat. I find myself staring at his lips way too often because of it.

  "What about your other employees? Are they your friends too?"

  "For the most part. Anna, the woman from earlier, she's been here a little over a year. I know she’s not permanent because she works here for something to do. She’s young, and wants to find a husband, then she'll move on." Beau swallows audibly. I think he's thinking about how she has her sights set on him. I chuckle at his expense. "Jess," I point to her, "I hope she stays for awhile. She’s taking night classes right now. I know when she's finished she might need to do something new; she’s going for accounting. So,
I plan on needing a bookkeeper who can freelance, by the time she's finished with school." I grin and wave at Jess. She tilts her head and waves back looking bemused.

  "How about you? Have lots of friends? People you work with maybe?" Now that I've seen his full face a few times, I can peer past the shadows and make out a few of his features.

  He looks kinda sad when he answers very vaguely, "A few." I'm learning the subtle nuances of his voice, and I hear the lie. I don't know if he has more friends than he's letting on or he has less. If I had to guess, I'd go with the latter. Why would this man, who women seem to love as much as I love white chocolate, seem so lonely? "I hope I'm making a new one now," he says quietly, my faces flushes in response, and I fidget in my seat.

  "I'd like to be your friend," I say honestly. It feels strange to just stare at him after that statement, so I look over his shoulder.

  Anna is leading a young guy over to Beau and me. She slinks up, like her hips have been freshly oiled and stops right in front of me. She’s blocking Beau from my view and I'm sure giving him a perfect view of her skinny butt---wait did I just think that about Anna? I'm not being very kind, but I’m frustrated by the interruption and her antics.

  She introduces an emo-looking guy as Kevin and steps back, seeming to have forgotten she’s standing in front of Beau. She plops down into his lap as she falls backward.

  "Oh goodness, I'm so sorry." she says, with both of her hands braced on his wide chest.

  "It's fine," Beau says through clenched teeth. He grabs both of her wrists and pulls her hands from his chest. He moves to stand, so she has no choice but to scramble off his lap. Standing up, he adjusts his hat lower and says, "I need to get going anyway." He storms out the door before my shock wears off enough that I'm able to speak.

  “Excuse us,” I mutter. “Anna can I see you in my office please?” My tone is clipped.

  She follows me without argument.

  “What was that?” I ask as I close the door behind her.

  Anna shakes her head and shrugs, “I fell.”

  I’m so shocked that I can’t even muster a quick response. A beat later I reply, “You do realize that our customers and a potential employee watched you ‘fall’ on him?” I make air quotes to signify how ridiculous I think she’s being. She doesn't look a bit sorry. In fact, she looks a bit smug. “Anna, that was completely inappropriate."

  She has the nerve to roll her eyes, "Oh, lighten up Sam. By the feel of things, he enjoyed it." She smiles; I gape at her audacity.

  “If the roles were reversed that would have been an easy case of sexual harassment.”

  She looks completely bewildered.

  “Anna, if you can’t treat our customers respectfully and act professionally, I don’t see you working here in the future.”

  Her demeanor changes immediately, "Wait. Wait, Sam. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that." She looks crestfallen, "I'm so used to dealing with vultures that I was acting like one myself.” She looks up at me even though she is taller, “I don't know what came over me. Please don't fire me. You guys are my only real friends, and this is the only place I can be me." Her pleading softens me, but I'm still outraged by her conduct.

  I cut my hand through the air to stop her, "Anna if I ever see anything close to the way you acted today again, friendship or not, you're gone.” She nods wide-eyed. “Just because you surround yourself with cruel people, doesn't mean you have license to be one." The comment is hurtful, but a harsh much needed truth.

  With that, I walk out of the office. Anna follows me.

  Jude walks up to me.

  "What did I miss?" Jude asks, looking between me and Anna.

  "Nothing I want to relive. Let's gets this interview done”.

  Chapter 5

  I'd forgotten about the flowers, until I got home. Once alone with my worries and few distractions, I am flooded. I open my laptop and perform a quick search of his name. The same results that have been my only link to the past, pop up. There’s no new information. Every time I get brave enough to check on him, I am met with these results.

  I clear the search bar and stare at the blinking dot. It takes a few long seconds before I gather the nerve to type in the next name. My name, Charlotte Brawley.

  The first link is to a news report regarding my mom’s accident. I’ve read through the article a few times, it was published about a week after her death. It gives a brief summary of her life, details about the accident, and information about her funeral arrangements.

  I spin around, away from my laptop. Looking for anything to distract me, but that’s what I’ve been doing for years. I need to stop living in denial and address the past.

  Maybe then, I won't be so paranoid. I'd be able to go to the bar when Jude invites me. I’d have relationships, so when Jess asks my opinion on hers, I could offer better advice. I’d be able to have a life, rather than safety nets.

  Determined, I turn back to the small desk and pull up the website for the city he works. He’s still listed as the Sheriff. I breathe a sigh of relief. I get my confirmation. He isn’t here. It is just a coincidence. There isn't much else I can do to convince myself it wasn't him, so I close the browser and open up Facebook.

  I've been going back and forth on how I should handle what happened earlier today with Beau. I can either ignore the way Anna acted and hope he stops by sometime, which I don't see happening, or I can message him and apologize for her behavior, and my part in not responding in his defense, before he left.

  I decide to message him, even though he didn't respond to my last message. I don't think it could make things worse.

  Beau, please accept my sincerest apologies on behalf of my employee

  That makes me sounds like a two-hundred-year-old stodgy bag.

  Delete, delete, delete.

  Beau, I'm so sorry Anna acted like a teenaged tramp and literally threw herself at you.

  Yeah, that's not going to work either.

  Delete, delete, delete.

  Beau, I'm sorry for Anna's behavior, and I'm sorry I didn't do something about it before you left. She acted poorly, and I hope it doesn't affect your opinion of the store. Thanks for being my guinea pig. Sam

  That'll have to do. If I keep trying, it'll only get worse. I hit send and close my laptop. I turn on the TV just to hear the noise and grab a book I started yesterday.

  I wake early Saturday morning to my phone ringing. Zoe, my weekend sales person, can't work today. Her daughter is sick, and she doesn't have anyone else to take care of her.

  I assure her it's fine and wish Maggie a quick recovery, letting her know I'll make sure tomorrow's covered too. I hang up, intent on getting up, but end up falling back asleep.

  I'm a few minutes late opening the store, but no one is around to notice. Neil shows up about five minutes later.

  When he sees it's me instead of Zoe, he looks sheepish, "Sorry Sam, won't happen again." He busies himself cleaning the already spotless tables.

  I roll my eyes at his disheveled appearance, he looks like he was out partying late last night. Neil is George's grandson; he's studying engineering. He should have gotten his degree two years ago but likes to party more than he likes school. The only reason he works here is because his parents refuse to pay his tuition unless he works. I think this is the only job he can find with so few hours.

  Zoe hasn't said anything about him slacking, but she probably wouldn't. I guess I need to put another sign up. I'm thinking of adding another person during the week to work the register. I should talk to Jude. Maybe Molly might like to pick up more hours on the weekends.

  By six I'm starving, so I order dinner for Neil and me from the Chinese restaurant up the block.

  "I'll be right back, Neil," I say before walking out the door.

  Even though it’s early September, I'm sweating in my cropped cardigan and tank top by the time I make it to the restaurant.

  Mrs. Wong is standing at the podium, looking fresh as a daisy with her sleek
black bob and bright red lips. She greets me by my last name and says, “Your order will be right up.”

  The door behind me opens and I step to the side, so whoever it is can reach Mrs. Wong.

  A familiar voice says, "Order for Winchester?"

  Beau is standing in front of me. I want to talk to him, but I'm not sure if I should.

  His white t-shirt is molded to his back. The hem hits right below his belt, giving me a great view of his butt. The dark denim jeans are just tight enough to hint at the firmness. My eyes travel down, I see his bare toes peeking out from under his jeans. Even his feet are sexy. Where did that come from? I have never ever thought feet were sexy, but his are.

  "You wear flip flops." I say incredulously, and his head turns in my direction as he smiles.

  "Why yes, yes I do."

  I shake my head, "Nobody wears flip flops in New York. You'll lose a toe."

  He wiggles his toes saying, "Still all there." He's back to being playful.

  I snap my mouth shut and bow slightly, being silly, "So they are."

  "West," Mrs. Wong calls shrilly. I think she assumes it's my first name the way she always greets me with it. I step up and grab the large bag feeling like I need to explain why I have so much food.

  "I'm buying dinner for Neil." I say accepting the heavy bag. "He eats---a lot," my face flushes at my stupidity. "I had to work unexpectedly today and didn't pack a lunch," I try again. He continues looking at me with a small smile on his face as his name gets called, and he moves up to the register.

  I use his turned back to make a hasty retreat out of the restaurant.

  I walk back to the store. I am such a spaz! Why, oh why, can't I shut up around him?

  "Ughh," I say out loud and speed walk down the block.

  I slam the door to the store open.

  "Neil, here's your dinner," I grumble. He snatches up the two large boxes. It's almost seven and the store is dead, "You might as well eat and head home, or just take it with you. This place is empty."