Delphi Complete Works of Lucian

by Lucian Samosata

  XXVIII.

  MY name is Callimachus, and pitiless Hades carried me off when I was five years old and knew not care. Yet weep not for me; but a small share of life was mine and a small share of life’s evil.

  XXIX.

  ’Tis Echo of the rocks thou seest, my friend, the companion of Pan, singing back to us a responsive note, the garrulous counterfeit of every kind of tongue, the shepherds’ sweet toy. After hearing every word thou utterest, begone.

  XXX.

  None ever saw the Paphian naked, but if anyone did, it is this man who here erected the naked Paphian.

  XXXI.

  To thee, Cypris, I dedicate the beautiful image of thy form, since I have nothing better than thy form.

  XXXII.

  EUTYCHIDES set me, Priapus, here in vain, for the sake of convention, to guard his dried-up vines; and there is a high cliff all round me. Whoever attacks me has nothing to steal but myself, the guardian.

  XXXIII.

  To Glaucus, Nereus, and Melicertes, Ino’s son, to the Lord of the Depths, the son of Cronos, and to the Samothracian gods, do I, Lucillius, saved from the deep, offer these locks clipped from my head, for I have nothing else.

  XXXIV.

  To Glaucus, Ncreus, and Melicertcs, Ino’s son, to the Lord of the Depths, the son of Cronos, and to the Samothracian gods, do I, Lueillius, saved from the deep, oiler these locks clipped from my head, for I have nothing else.

  XXXV.

  Acindynus wished to keep sober when all the others were drunk; therefore he was the only man who was thought to be drunk.

  XXXVI.

  On an overheated Bath

  You should call this not a bath but rather a funeral pyre such as Achilles lit for Patroclus, or Medea’s crown that the Fury set afire (?) in the bridal chamber of Glauce because of Jason. Spare me, bathman, for God’s sake, for I am a man who write all the deeds of men and gods. But if it is your purpose to burn numbers of us alive, light a wooden pyre, executioner, and not a stone one.

  XXXXVII.

  If you see a hairless head, breast, and shoulders, make no enquiries; it is a bald fool that you see.

  XXXVIII.

  You dye your hair, but you will never dye your old age, or smooth out the wrinkles of your cheeks. Then don’t plaster all your face with white lead, so that you have not a face, but a mask; for it serves no purpose. Why are you out of your wits? Rouge and paste will never turn Hecuba into Helen.

  XXXIX.

  DIOPHANTES with the hydrocele, when he wants to cross to the other side, never gets into the ferryboat, but putting all his packages and his donkey on the hydrocele, sails across hoisting a sheet. So that in vain have the Tritons glory in the waters if a man with a hydrocele can do the same.

  XL.

  CROOK-NOSED Nicon has an admirable nose for wine, but he can’t tell quickly what it is like, for scarcely as well as luxuries, but I have no idea what is the “garland” alluded to.

  XLI.

  Painter, thou stealest the form only, and canst not, trusting in thy colours, capture the voice.

  XLII.

  It strikes me as wonderful how Bytus is a sophist, since he has neither common speech nor reason.

  XLIII.

  You will sooner find white crows and winged tortoises than a Cappadocian who is an accomplished orator.

  XLIV.

  Artemidorus, reckoning his fortune at many times ten thousand, and spending nothing, leads the life of mules, who often, carrying on their backs a heavy and precious load of gold, only eat hay.

  XLV.

  If you think that to grow a beard is to acquire wisdom, a goat with a fine beard is at once a complete Plato.

  XLVI.

  We saw at supper the great wisdom of the Cynic, that bearded beggar with the staff. To begin with he abstained from pulse and radishes, saying that virtue should not be the belly’s slave. But when he saw before his eyes a snow-white sow’s womb with sharp sauce, a dish that soon stole away his prudent mind, he asked for some unexpectedly, and really started eating, saying that a sow’s womb does no harm to virtue.

  XLVII.

  To the Gout

  GODDESS who hatest the poor, sole vanquisher of wealth, who ever knowest to live well, even though it is thy joy to sit on the feet of others, thou knowest how to wear felt, and thou art fond of ointments. A garland delights thee and draughts of Italian wine. These things are never found among the poor. Therefore thou fliest the brassless threshold of poverty, and delightest to come to the feet of wealth.

  XLVIII.

  You often sent me wine and I was often grateful to you, enjoying the draught of sweet nectar. But now if you love me, don’t send any, for I don’t wish for such wine, not having now any lettuces.

  XLIX.

  Tres tibi, Venus, ludicra haec dedicaverunt meretrices alio alia ab opificio. Haec Euphro a clunibus, ista vero Clio qua fas est, Atthis autem ab ore. Pro quibus illi mitte lucrum puerilis operis, huic vero feminei, tertiae autem neutrius.

  L.

  May none of the gods, Erasistratus, create for me that luxury in which you riot, monstrously eating plagues of the stomach worse than famine, such as I wish the children of my enemies might eat. I would starve again even more than I used to starve rather than gorge myself with the luxuries of your table.

  LI.

  Your grey hairs, if you keep silent, are wisdom, but if you speak they are not wisdom but hairs, like those of youth.

  LII.

  A PHYSICIAN sent me his dear son to be taught by me those elementary lessons. And when he had read “Sing the Wrath” and “imposed a thousand woes,” and the third verse that follows these, “Many strong souls he sped to Hades,” his father no longer sends him to learn from me, but on seeing me said: “All thanks to you, my friend, but the boy can learn that at home, for I speed down many souls to Hades, and for that I have no need of a grammarian.”

  LIII.

  I ORDERED you. Diodorus, to paint a pretty child, but you produce a child strange to me, putting a dog’s head on his shoulders, so that I weep to think how my Zopyrion was born to me by Hecuba. And finally I, Erasistratus the butcher, have got for six drachmae a son Anubis from the shrines of Isis.

  The Greek Texts

  A dexiosis stele representing King Antiochos I shaking the hand of Heracles — ruins in the Kingdom of Commagene, Lucian’s homeland

  LIST OF GREEK TEXTS

  In this section of the eBook, readers can view the original Greek texts of Lucian’s works. You may wish to Bookmark this page for future reference.

  CONTENTS

  PHALARIS 1 — Φάλαρις Α

  PHALARIS 2 — Φάλαρις Β

  HIPPIAS — Ἱππίας ἢ Βαλανεῖον

  DIONYSUS — Διόνυσος

  HERACLES — Ἡρακλῆς

  AMBER; OR, THE SWANS — Περὶ τοῦ Ἡλέκτρου ἢ Κύκνων

  THE FLY — Μυίας Ἐγκώμιον

  NIGRINUS — Νιγρίνου Φιλοσοφία

  DEMONAX — Δημώνακτος Βίος

  CONCERNING A HALL — Περὶ τοῦ Οἴκου

  MY NATIVE LAND — Πατρίδος Ἐγκώμιον

  OCTOGENERIANS — Μακρόβιοι

  A TRUE STORY — Ἀληθῶν Διηγημάτων

  SLANDER — Περὶ τοῦ μὴ ῥᾳδίως πιστεύειν Διαβολῇ

  THE CONSONANTS AT LAW — Δίκη Συμφώνων

  THE CAROUSAL SYMPOSIUM — Συμπόσιον ἢ Λαπίθαι

  SOLOECISTA — Ψευδοσοφιστής ἢ Σολοικιστής

  THE DOWNWARD JOURNEY OR THE TYRANT — Κατάπλους ἢ Τύραννος

  ZEUS CATECHIZED (ZEUS CROSS-EXAMINED) — Ζεὺς ἐλεγχόμενος

  ZEUS RANTS — Ζεὺς Τραγῳδός

  THE COCK — Ὄνειρος ἢ Ἀλεκτρυών

  PROMETHEUS — Προμηθεύς

  ICAROMENIPPUS OR T
HE SKY-MAN — Ἰκαρομένιππος ἢ Ὑπερνέφελος

  TIMON OR THE MISANTHROPE — Τίμων

  CHARON OR THE INSPECTORS — Χάρων ἢ Ἐπισκοποῦντες

  SALE OF CREEDS — Βίων Πρᾶσις

  THE FISHERMAN — Ἀναβιοῦντες ἢ Ἁλιεύς

  THE DOUBLE INDICTMENT — Δὶς κατηγορούμενος

  ON SACRIFICES — Περὶ Θυσιῶν

  REMARKS ADDRESSED TO AN ILLITERATE BOOK-FANCIER — Πρὸς τὸν ἀπαίδευτον καὶ πολλὰ βιβλία ὠνούμενον

  THE DREAM OR LUCIAN’S CAREER — Περὶ τοῦ Ἐνυπνίου ἤτοι Βίος Λουκιανοῦ

  THE PARASITE: PARASITIC AN ART — Περὶ τοῦ Παρασίτου ὅτι Τέχνη ἡ Παρασιτική

  THE LOVER OF LIES — Φιλοψευδής ἢ Ἀπιστῶν

  THE JUDGEMENT OF THE GODDESSES — Θεῶν Κρίσις

  ON SALARIED POSTS IN GREAT HOUSES — Περὶ τῶν ἐν Μισθῷ συνόντων

  ANACHARSIS — Ἀνάχαρσις ἢ Περὶ Γυμνασίων

  MENIPPUS — Μένιππος ἢ Νεκυομαντεία

  LUCIUS; OR, THE ASS — Λούκιος ἢ Ὄνος

  ON FUNERALS — Περὶ Πένθους

  A PROFESSOR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING — Ῥητόρων Διδάσκαλος

  ALEXANDER THE FALSE PROPHET — Ἀλέξανδρος ἢ Ψευδόμαντις

  ESSAYS IN PORTRAITURE — Εἰκόνες

  ESSAYS IN PORTRAITURE DEFENDED — Ὑπὲρ τῶν Εἰκόνων

  THE SYRIAN GODDESS — Περὶ τῆς Συρίης Θεοῦ

  OF PANTOMIME — Περὶ Ὀρχήσεως

  LEXIPHANES — Λεξιφάνης

  THE EUNUCH — Εὐνοῦχος

  ASTROLOGY — Περὶ τῆς Ἀστρολογίας

  AMORES — Ἔρωτες

  THE MISTAKEN CRITIC — Ψευδολογιστής

  THE PARLIAMENT OF THE GODS — Θεῶν Ἐκκλησία

  THE TYRANNICIDE — Τυραννοκτόνος

  DISOWNED — Ἀποκηρυττόμενος

  THE PASSING OF PEREGRINUS — Περὶ τῆς Περεγρίνου Τελευτῆς

  THE RUNAWAYS — Δραπέται

  TOXARIS — Τόξαρις ἢ Φιλία

  HOW TO WRITE HISTORY — Πῶς δεῖ Ἱστορίαν συγγράφειν

  THE DIPSADS — Περὶ τῶν Διψάδων

  SATURNALIA — Τὰ πρὸς Κρόνον

  HERODOTUS OR AETION — Ἡρόδοτος ἢ Ἀετίων

  ZEUXIS OR ANTIOCHUS — Ζεύξις ἢ Ἀντίοχος

  A SLIP OF THE TONGUE IN GREETING — Ὑπὲρ τοῦ ἐν τῇ Προσαγορεύσει Πταίσματος

  APOLOGY FOR THE “SALARIED POSTS IN GREAT HOUSES” — Ἀπολογία

  HARMONIDES — Ἁρμονίδης

  A CONVERSATION WITH HESIOD — Διάλογος πρὸς Ἡσίοδον

  THE SCYTHIAN OR THE CONSUL — Σκύθης ἢ Πρόξενος

  PODAGRA (Gout) — Ποδάγρα

  HERMOTIMUS — Ἑρμότιμος ἢ Περὶ Αἱρέσεων

  A LITERARY PROMETHEUS — Πρὸς τὸν εἰπόντα Προμηθεὺς εἶ ἐν λόγοις

  HALCYON — Ἀλκυὼν ἢ Περὶ Μεταμορφώσεων

  THE SHIP; OR, THE WISHES — Πλοἶον ἢ Εὐχαί

  DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD — Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι

  DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS — Ἐνάλιοι Διάλογοι

  DIALOGUES OF THE GODS — Θεῶν Διάλογοι

  DIALOGUES OF THE COURTESANS — Ἑταιρικοὶ Διάλογοι

  Source text: Lucian. Works. with an English Translation by. A. M. Harmon. Cambridge, MA. Harvard University Press. London. William Heinemann Ltd. 1936. With thanks to the Pegasus Digital Library.

  PHALARIS 1 — Φάλαρις Α

  [1] Ἔπεμψεν ἡμᾶς, ὦ Δελφοί, ὁ ἡμέτερος δυνάστης Φάλαρις ἄξοντας τῷ θεῷ τὸν ταῦρον τοῦτον καὶ ὑμῖν διαλεξομένους τὰ εἰκότα ὑπέρ τε αὐτοῦ ἐκείνου καὶ ὑπὲρ τοῦ ἀναθήματος. Ὧν μὲν οὖν ἕνεκα ἥκομεν, ταῦτά ἐστιν· ἃ δέ γε πρὸς ὑμᾶς ἐπέστειλεν τάδε·

  Ἐγώ, φησίν, ὦ Δελφοί, καὶ παρὰ πᾶσι μὲν τοῖς Ἕλλησι τοιοῦτος ὑπολαμβάνεσθαι ὁποῖός εἰμι, ἀλλὰ μὴ ὁποῖον ἡ παρὰ τῶν μισούντων καὶ φθονούντων φήμη ταῖς τῶν ἀγνοούντων ἀκοαῖς παραδέδωκεν, ἀντὶ τῶν πάντων ἀλλαξαίμην ἄν, μάλιστα δὲ παρ´ ὑμῖν, ὅσῳ ἱεροί τέ ἐστε καὶ πάρεδροι τοῦ Πυθίου καὶ μόνον οὐ σύνοικοι καὶ ὁμωρόφιοι τοῦ θεοῦ. Ἡγοῦμαι γάρ, εἰ ὑμῖν ἀπολογησαίμην καὶ πείσαιμι μάτην ὠμὸς ὑπειλῆφθαι, καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις ἅπασι δι´ ὑμῶν ἀπολελογημένος ἔσεσθαι. Καλῶ δὲ ὧν ἐρῶ τὸν θεὸν αὐτὸν μάρτυρα, ὃν οὐκ ἔνι δή που παραλογίσασθαι καὶ ψευδεῖ λόγῳ παραγαγεῖν· ἀνθρώπους μὲν γὰρ ἴσως ἐξαπατῆσαι ῥᾴδιον, θεὸν δέ, καὶ μάλιστα τοῦτον, διαλαθεῖν ἀδύνατον.

  [2] Ἐγὼ γὰρ οὐ τῶν ἀφανῶν ἐν Ἀκράγαντι ὤν, ἀλλ´ εἰ καί τις ἄλλος εὖ γεγονὼς καὶ τραφεὶς ἐλευθερίως καὶ παιδείᾳ προσεσχηκώς, ἀεὶ διετέλουν τῇ μὲν πόλει δημοτικὸν ἐμαυτὸν παρέχων, τοῖς δὲ συμπολιτευομένοις ἐπιεικῆ καὶ μέτριον, βίαιον δὲ ἢ σκαιὸν ἢ ὑβριστικὸν ἢ αὐθέκαστον οὐδεὶς οὐδὲν ἐπεκάλει μου τῷ προτέρῳ ἐκείνῳ βίῳ. Ἐπειδὴ δὲ ἑώρων τοὺς τἀναντία μοι πολιτευομένους ἐπιβουλεύοντας καὶ ἐξ ἅπαντος τρόπου ἀνελεῖν με ζητοῦντας — διῄρητο δὲ ἡμῶν τότε ἡ πόλις — μίαν ταύτην ἀποφυγὴν καὶ ἀσφάλειαν εὕρισκον, τὴν αὐτὴν ἅμα καὶ τῇ πόλει σωτηρίαν, εἰ ἐπιθέμενος τῇ ἀρχῇ ἐκείνους μὲν ἀναστείλαιμι καὶ παύσαιμι ἐπιβουλεύοντας, τὴν πόλιν δὲ σωφρονεῖν καταναγκάσαιμι· καὶ ἦσαν γὰρ οὐκ ὀλίγοι ταῦτα ἐπαινοῦντες, ἄνδρες μέτριοι καὶ φιλοπόλιδες, οἳ καὶ τὴν γνώμην ᾔδεσαν τὴν ἐμὴν καὶ τῆς ἐπιχειρήσεως τὴν ἀνάγκην· τούτοις οὖν συναγωνισταῖς χρησάμενος ῥᾳδίως ἐκράτησα.

  [3] Τοὐντεῦθεν οἱ μὲν οὐκέτι ἐτάραττον, ἀλλ´ ὑπήκουον, ἐγὼ δὲ ἦρχον, ἡ πόλις δὲ ἀστασίαστος ἦν. Σφαγὰς δὲ ἢ ἐλάσεις ἢ δημεύσεις οὐδὲ κατὰ τῶν ἐπιβεβουλευκότων εἰργαζόμην, καίτοι ἀναγκαῖον ὂν τὰ τοιαῦτα τολμᾶν ἐν ἀρχῇ τῆς δυναστείας μάλιστα. Φιλανθρωπίᾳ γὰρ καὶ πρᾳότητι καὶ τῷ ἡμέρῳ κἀξ ἰσοτιμίας θαυμασίως ἐγὼ ἤλπιζον ἐς τὸ πείθεσθαι προσάξεσθαι τούτους. Εὐθὺς γοῦν τοῖς μὲν ἐχθροῖς ἐσπείσμην καὶ διηλλάγμην, καὶ �
�υμβούλοις καὶ συνεστίοις ἐχρώμην τοῖς πλείστοις αὐτῶν. Τὴν δὲ πόλιν αὐτὴν ὁρῶν ὀλιγωρίᾳ τῶν προεστώτων διεφθαρμένην, τῶν πολλῶν κλεπτόντων, μᾶλλον δὲ ἁρπαζόντων τὰ κοινά, ὑδάτων τε ἐπιρροίαις ἀνεκτησάμην καὶ οἰκοδομημάτων ἀναστάσεσιν ἐκόσμησα καὶ τειχῶν περιβολῇ ἐκράτυνα καὶ τὰς προσόδους, ὅσαι ἦσαν κοιναί, τῇ τῶν ἐφεστώτων ἐπιμελείᾳ ῥᾳδίως ἐπηύξησα καὶ τῆς νεολαίας ἐπεμελούμην καὶ τῶν γερόντων προὐνόουν καὶ τὸν δῆμον ἐν θέαις καὶ διανομαῖς καὶ πανηγύρεσι καὶ δημοθοινίαις διῆγον, ὕβρεις δὲ παρθένων ἢ ἐφήβων διαφθοραὶ ἢ γυναικῶν ἀπαγωγαὶ ἢ δορυφόρων ἐπιπέμψεις ἢ δεσποτική τις ἀπειλὴ ἀποτρόπαιά μοι καὶ ἀκοῦσαι ἦν.