The Darkest Pleasure

by Gena Showalter

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

 

  "HOW ARE YOU FEELING, Danika?"

  Danika perched on the edge of Reyes's bed, her head between her legs, her breathing shallow and rough. She couldn't seem to fill her lungs, only seemed to scratch them with what little air she dragged in. An hour had passed - an eternity, maybe - since Aeron had delivered his "I think I killed her" when speaking of Danika's grandmother.

  She'd demanded every detail from Aeron, and what he'd said had meshed with what Stefano's men had seen. I carried her into a building. She was already bleeding, already hurting. I raised my claws. She screamed. That is all I know.

  Danika's shock had worn off, and grief, sorrow and fury had taken its place, blending together inside her. She couldn't remember leaving the cell. Didn't recall walking into Reyes's bedroom. He must have carried her here. As Aeron had carried her grandmother to her death?

  "I need to see them," she managed to gasp out. "I need to see my mother and my sister. " Did they know about Grandma Mallory? Had they witnessed the terrible event? Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God. Tears flooded her eyes. She would find them, tell them if they didn't know, and then she would come back here and stab Aeron in his blackened heart.

  "The Darkest Pleasure"

  No, scratch that. She would stab Aeron first. Then she would have at least one piece of good news to pass on to her family. The thought failed to cheer her.

  Warm, strong hands curled on her upper arms and slowly dragged her up. The dark that haunted her dreams was suddenly weighing down her present. But Reyes loomed in front of her, determined to save her. "I am sorry this happened, angel. I am. "

  Her chin trembled and her throat constricted. "You're sorry?" she said, her fury blooming ahead of all the other emotions in an effort to save herself. "You played a part in this, you fucking bastard, so you can leave me the hell alone. She was a good woman. Caring and tender. Loving. Admit it. You're happy she's gone, aren't you? Aren't you?" she screamed when he didn't reply.

  "I am not happy. Your pain hurts me. "

  "And you love to be hurt, right?"

  "Danika, I - " A pause, heavy, oppressive. "Aeron said he thinks he killed her. Perhaps he did not. Perhaps she survived. "

  "An eighty-year-old woman against a supernaturally strong demon?" She laughed without humor. "Please. "

  Reyes's fingers bit deeper, almost painfully, as he shook her. "Don't you dare give up hope. "

  "Hope. " She uttered another of those humorless laughs. "Hope is a demon worse than your Pain. "

  Reyes released her as if she'd suddenly sprouted horns and stabbed him with them. Wait. He would have liked that, she thought darkly, and wouldn't have moved away. Guess he'd released her as if she'd tried to kiss him again.

  "Answer me true. Did you make that comparison because of your hate for what might have been done or because you believe Hope truly is a demon?"

  "Does it matter?"

  "Yes. "

  She shrugged, going numb again, so numb she couldn't make herself care about the conversation anymore. "Both. " What a roller coaster she'd been on these past two days. It was too much.

  "How do you know Hope is a demon?" he demanded. "Humans always think of Hope as good and wonderful and right. "

  "So it's true?" What else was out there, stealing joy and destroying lives? "I should be surprised. "

  "How?"

  Another shrug. "Grandma Mallory used to tell me stories. I thought they were harmless, her mind's way of coping with the chaos of her life. "

  "In this," he admitted reluctantly, "she was right. Hope is indeed a demon. A monster now housed inside an equally treacherous immortal warrior. "

  Like you, she almost said but stopped herself. Reyes had not proven himself to be evil. "You know him - it?" Her lips curled in distaste. "Again, why aren't I surprised? Grandma told me Hope purposely raises expectations, makes people believe there's a potential for a miracle, and then he crushes those expectations, leaving nothing but ash and despair. " Stefano was right. The world would be a better place without a demon like that.

  "We are not all like that," Reyes said, as though he'd read her mind. "Hope was given to a warrior like me, yes. Galen was his name. But he was a corrupt man possessed by a corrupt demon and combined they are more dangerous than anything in this fortress. When I knew them, they delighted in uplifting and then crushing those around them. "

  She wrapped her arms around her middle, cold again. So cold. From fury to nothing to this. A torturous gamut. She'd feared this day for two weeks, dreaded learning that her amazing grandmother had been murdered while Danika was too busy running to help her.

  Reyes's gaze bored into her, piercing like a laser. "I need honesty from you, Danika. Did you hear any of what you've just told me from the Hunters?"

  "No. " They'd mentioned nothing about either Galen or Hope.

  A moment passed in silence, she and Reyes staring at each other. What he was thinking, she could only guess. That she had to die now and there could be no more saving her? That she would go back on her word now that she knew her grandmother was dead?

  Sweet Grandma Mallory. Memories of a long-ago night played through her mind. Stars had twinkled from the sky as she and her grandmother made camp inside her tree house.

  Lie back, baby girl, and Grandma will tell you another story.

  Shuddering, Danika had climbed into her sleeping bag. Cool night scents floated on the breeze, but they had failed to calm her. Grandma's stories were not like the fairy tales her sister liked to read her. "Will this one scare me?"

  "Maybe. But it's okay to be scared sometimes. I don't want you to be like me. I want you stronger, better equipped to deal. "

  "I don't want to deal. I don't like to be scared. "

  "No one does, but feeling the emotion is good. Gives you a chance to prove you're stronger than it is. "

  "O-okay. I'll listen to the story. "

  "That's my girl. "

  Those tales of demons had frightened her back then - and that was when she'd considered them simple fiction - but she hadn't let them keep her up at night or stop her from enjoying life. Because of her grandmother. When her parents would have coddled her because of her nightmares, Grandma Mallory had helped her find a core of strength so Danika wouldn't one day fall under the pressure as she had done. She'd taught Danika how to fight the evil inside her head. How to win.

  "The Darkest Pleasure"

  And it had worked. . . until Reyes and his friends had entered her life. Now, she was that frightened little girl again. Sadly, there would be no more deluding herself into thinking those bedtime stories had been make-believe. Her grandmother had seen things. Ugly things, evil things. Real things.

  "What other stories did she relay to you?" Reyes asked.

  "If I tell you, will you help me find her. . . her. . . body? Help me give her a proper burial?"

  "Yes. If she is dead. I still think there's a good chance she's alive. "

  Don't you dare start to hope. You just admitted Hope is a demon. Danika allowed the stories to occupy every available space in her mind, sorting through them, trying to pull the most important facts front and center. How much time passed, she didn't know. But when she focused, Reyes was sitting in a chair directly across from her - close enough to touch - patiently and silently waiting.

  "Did you know there were more demons than there were immortal warriors?" she found herself asking softly. "Without the box, some had to be placed inside the prisoners of Tartarus. Demons like Fear. Loneliness. Greed. "

  Only for a moment did he appear disbelieving. He worried two fingers over his jaw. "Were any placed inside the Titans?" he asked, but the question was not for her. Clearly, he was thinking aloud. "They were prisoners at that time. Of course, there were hundreds of other immortals locked away during any given decade, so. . . " He shook his head. "No. No, this isn't possible. Had this happened, I would have known. "

  "Maybe your demon didn't know. It was locked inside a tiny,
dark box. And I doubt your gods tell you everything. Besides, all I know is what I was told. Believe it or don't believe it. I don't care. "

  "But how could your grandmother know these things. . . " He stopped, sucked in a breath. "She was like you, was she not? She had visions?"

  Danika nodded sadly. "We've been haunted by demons our entire lives. " She helped me deal with mine, but I failed to save her from hers. I should have stayed with her, guarded her.

  That dark skin Danika so loved to touch slowly paled. "This is. . . this is too much to absorb," Reyes said. "More demons? More possessed warriors?" He shook his head, scrubbed a hand down his face. "Do you know what this means?"

  "That you have to slice my throat now?" The question was devoid of sentiment.

  He tsked. "I told you. I will not hurt you. Not now, not ever. " Then, "Danika, this means we have been intertwined since the beginning. "

  There was awe in his tone. Reverence. His meaning, however, escaped her. "The beginning of what?" she asked, suddenly so tired she could barely hold up her head. After all the self-defense and combat lessons I took, I couldn't save the woman who watched me every summer, played hide-and-seek with me in the woods and taught me how to ride a bike. Was she looking down from heaven, ashamed? Was she now at peace with the angels they'd both seen in their dreams?

  Reyes cleared his throat. "We have been intertwined since the beginning of my creation, I think. "

  That would mean fate had played a role in both their lives, and right now Danika didn't want to consider fate.

  "The grandmother who told you of Hope, she is the one. . . " His voice trailed off, as if he feared broaching the topic again.

  "Yes. She is the one Aeron - " sweet Jesus, saying it was hard " - killed. " There'll be no more stories from her. Danika squeezed her eyelids tightly closed, blocking the tears forming there. As soon as I get my strength back, Aeron is mine.

  Gentle fingers smoothed over her brow, along the curve of her nose.

  She shivered, surprised by the warmth and comfort seeping from his skin into hers. How could she sit here, letting a demon touch her like this? Letting a demon - Pain - console her? "Tell me about the warrior who houses Hope. " She would give the information to Stefano, no hesitation. It wouldn't be a betrayal to Reyes to feed Hunters data about a man he despised.

  One of Reyes's brows arched. "Why?"

  "To distract me. I don't want to think about my. . . I just don't want to think anymore. "

  Again Reyes reached out, gently hooked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Galen and I were friends once. Soldiers in Zeus's elite army. I didn't yet know that he was the kind of man who would smile to your face but stab you the moment your back was turned. "

  "Where is he now?"

  "I know not. After the possession, he disappeared. " Reyes leaned down and kissed her cheek, the brush of his mouth soft and gentle. "Is there anything I can get you? Anything you need?"

  "I'm going to destroy your friend, Reyes. " The admission sprang from her, unstoppable. "Aeron. I know I told you I wouldn't, but. . . "

  He sighed, weary. "All I ask is that you think about your actions. Aeron is stronger than you. He is immortal, you are mortal. You could probably hurt him, but most likely he will not die. He can hurt you, and you will crumble. "

  "He has to sleep. I don't mind taking his head while he sleeps. Or. . . " Slowly she faced him, lids cracking, parting. The room receded, the warrior becoming her only focus. "You're as strong as he is. You've defeated him before. He came for me, but you stopped him. "

  "The Darkest Pleasure"

  As she spoke, a curtain of unease fell over Reyes's harsh features.

  "Kill him for me," she beseeched.

  "Danika - "

  "Kill him, and I'll do anything you want. I'll cut you as many times as you need. "

  "Danika," he said again. In the three syllables it had taken to utter her name, she'd heard a war being waged. He was fighting himself.

  Twice she'd watched him exchange blows with Aeron, but never had she seen such a look of torture on his face. A lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed it, felt it settle deep in her stomach. Still, she didn't take back her request.

  "As I said, your grandmother might be alive. Why won't you consider the possibility?"

  "Aeron remembers her bloody body. " What's more, the Hunters had seen Aeron carry an unconscious woman away. Not that she could admit that little tidbit.

  "But Aeron did not recall rendering the deathblow. Warrior that he is, he would not forget something like that. That has to mean that when he left her, she was still breathing. "

  Maybe. . . possibility. . . what if. . .

  "In the morning, I will take you to your sister and your mother and perhaps you can locate your grandmother. Tonight, I will have Torin hunt - Uh, damn. Find them. Torin will find them for you. "

  Danika stiffened, every muscle suddenly humming with tension. "Will he hurt them? If he hurts them, I'll - "

  "No, no. You have my word. No harm shall befall them. "

  She believed him. Stupid of her, but she did. She had no other lifeline at the moment.

  "No matter what, we will find your grandmother, as well. You will know, one way or another, what happened to her. "

  No matter what. One way or another. Ominous phrases. And yet, the second stirring of hated hope did spark to life. Maybe. . . possibility. . . what if. . . the phrases once again swept through her mind. It was human nature to wish for the best, she supposed, and too hard to believe otherwise without solid proof. She hadn't seen her grandmother's body; as Reyes had reminded her, Aeron had said he thought he'd killed her, not that he truly had.

  Grandma Mallory could be alive.

  The numbness encasing her began to melt, leaving flickers of relief. "I'd rather leave tonight," she said. "Aeron knows where they are. Make him tell. "

  "I tried. Twice. But do you really want to continually remind him that they're out there? When he craves their deaths? Torin can do this, I have no doubt. He just needs time. "

  She clasped his wrist and peered up at him, wanting to kiss him and push him away at the same time. To hug him and hit him. "Thank you. "

  "You are so lovely," he whispered. Then he shook his head, as if he couldn't believe he'd uttered those words and needed to clear his thoughts. "In the cell you said you paint to purge yourself of your nightmares. Why don't you paint tonight? Perhaps it will soothe you. "

  Do not soften. You are already too close to the edge. "You just want another glimpse inside my head. "

  "Can I not want both your comfort and the knowledge you possess of the gods?"

  She released him, feeling bereft, and shrugged. "I would need the proper supplies. " There was a bloom of excitement in her chest at the thought of holding a brush. She'd never thought to paint again.

  Twin pink circles suddenly colored Reyes's cheeks, and he cleared his throat. He straightened, looking away from her. "I - I already have everything you will need. "

  Danika studied his profile. His nose was a shade longer than the other warriors', very aristocratic. His lashes were thick and curled up toward his brows. His jaw jutted stubbornly. "What do you mean?"

  "I visited your home. I had your purse, your address, and after you left, I could not stay away. I traveled to your home, saw your supplies and bought some for the fortress. Just in case. " The admission croaked from him. "Will you use them?"

  Just in case what? "I - Maybe. " He'd been inside her home? What had he thought of her small and cluttered house? Loved? Hated? And why did the image of him surrounded by her things feel so. . . right?

  Reyes didn't try to pressure her. He simply nodded as if he understood her reluctance. "I need to leave for a little while, talk with Torin. Will you be all right on your own?"

  She wasn't sure she would be all right ever again, but she said, "Yes. Of course. "

  Reyes faced her, leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Hers parted automat
ically, welcoming him inside. The hot length of his tongue pressed forward, slowly, tenderly, giving comfort rather than passion. She accepted, too raw to resist.

  "Angel," he breathed.

  Her arms wound around his neck of their own accord, holding him close. Perhaps she would hold on forever. Here, right now, there was no pain or loss or what if, only a strong man who scared her demons away.

  His fingers settled on her waist, and he pulled her as close to him as he could get her. Her legs parted to allow him the final contact, placing hardness to softness. A gasp left her as a jolt of pure desire speared her, chasing away her fatigue.

  "The Darkest Pleasure"

  She remembered how he'd kissed her this morning and experienced no real pleasure. Until she'd hurt him. He'd even told her that he could not really feel without a sting, a bite or a scratch.

  Even though this kiss represented the passing of his strength to her, she wanted him to like it. She told herself she wanted him to like it so that he would continue to protect her. That if the time came, he would choose her over Aeron and slay the man. She told herself it was because if Reyes desired her, he would not renege on his word. He would take her to her family in the morning.

  Sadly, she knew she lied.

  Deep down, she wanted him, desired him madly, and had from the first. She'd been a captive here and had found herself face-to-face with him after he stormed into the room she'd been locked in, demanding a healer for Ashlyn. It had seemed as though a match were being struck inside her chest, lighting everything on fire. Burning and blistering. Every man she'd ever dated, every man she'd ever kissed, and the two men she'd slept with over the years had faded from her mind as if they'd never existed.

  So odd. Besides her dreams and her secret paintings, she'd never been a fanciful girl. Oh, she believed in love - her parents might have divorced when she was just starting her teens, and her dad might have taken off and begun another family, forgetting the one he already had, but she did believe. Her grandparents had loved each other madly, only parting for death.

  And while Danika had never experienced the emotion herself, she'd always been content to wait, not to rush out and force it as so many of her friends had done. She had lived as if there would always be a tomorrow, as if the here and now were of no significance. As if the future meant more than the present.

  Everything had changed after the kidnapping. Her entire world had crumbled and as she'd slowly rebuilt the pieces of her life, she'd realized a future was not guaranteed. Here and now mattered. Nothing else.

  Right now, she had Reyes.

  She would have to hurt him to make him like her. Before, watching him cut himself, she hadn't thought herself capable of such a deed. Now. . . "I want to," she said, only realizing she'd spoken aloud when the words echoed in her ears.

  He nipped at her bottom lip. "What? What do you want?" His fingers tightened on her hips, digging into the bone.

  "You. " She had trouble catching her breath.

  The fine lines around his eyes softened. "You don't know what you're asking for, angel. "

  "Show me, then. "

  "No. " He meshed their lips back together and his tongue rolled over and under hers, his addicting flavor a drug to her starved senses.

  How long since she'd been held like this? How long since she'd stopped running and simply experienced?

  "We have to stop soon. "

  "What?" Her arms tightened around him. "No!"

  "Must. " His fingers wrapped around her wrists, gripping firmly, branding her. He moved her arms away from his body, and then he dared to release her.

  Her eyelids flickered open. He was sweating, his lips compressed in a thin slash. His breathing was uneven. Lines of tension bracketed his beautiful dark eyes - eyes alive with a thousand different needs, needs he would not allow her to meet.

  He wanted her this time, it seemed, but she hadn't hurt him. He'd said such a thing was impossible. What did that mean?

  "You don't need a man pawing you right now. " One step, two, he backed away.

  She flattened her palms against her thighs, nails digging deep. "You weren't pawing me. "

  "But I wanted to. "

  Would she have cared? Surprisingly, she didn't think so. He'd given her hope, hated hope, but she was grateful. Or had his demon overtaken her mind again?

  Reaching out, he smoothed several strands of hair from her brow. His arm shook. "Rest, angel. Tomorrow we travel, and we will have to move quickly and remain in the shadows. "

  Because of the Hunters, she silently finished for him. The people she should have been helping. Feeling hollow, she nodded.

  "If you change your mind about painting, the supplies are through that door. " He pointed.

  She sighed, watching as he turned on his booted heels and strode from the room. There was a knife in his hand.

  WHEN REYES REACHED the bathroom in the empty bedroom across the hall, he collapsed onto the cold, hard floor. He'd done his best to keep his beast hidden from Danika. He hadn't wanted her to know how close he'd been to ripping off her clothing and stabbing himself over and over again while he pounded into her soft body - how close he'd been to begging her to stab him.

  He was surprised by the depths of his desire for her. She hadn't hurt him, yet he'd been ready, eager. A first, and too shocking to believe.

  He needed to contact Lucien and tell him about the other demons, the other possessed warriors. He needed to find Torin and have the warrior start tracking Danika's mother, sister and possibly her grandmother. But not like this. Reyes was too on edge, the demon too loud inside his head, clamoring for pain. The need hadn't been this wild in weeks, so it had taken him by surprise. How he'd maintained his control, how he'd kept from hurting Danika, he didn't know. Why it had happened, he didn't know, either.

  "The Darkest Pleasure"

  With a shaky hand, he tore at the waist of his pants. His nails were claws and cut the skin, skin on fire and too tight for his bones. He was smiling as his cock jumped free, but there was no relief. He ached, oh, gods, he ached from the pleasure of Danika's scent, her lovely eyes feasting on him, her lips pressing against his.

  His fingers wrapped around the thick base of his shaft, so taut his knuckles instantly blanched, and he hissed in a breath. Not my hand, he pretended, but Danika's. Yes, he could easily imagine her soft, sweet hand holding him, squeezing him to this razor edge of pleasure-pain.

  Reyes moaned, holding himself all the tighter as he pumped up, then down. With his other hand, he clutched the knife he'd already palmed and pressed the cold tip against his thigh. Do it. Cut. On an upward glide, he sank the blade hard, so hard. The skin broke and blood trickled. On a downward slide, he dug the tip deeper, nicking a vein.

  Not enough. Not nearly enough.

  There were sharp grooves on the hilt, and those grooves bit at his hand, drawing even more blood. Self-loathing rose inside him as he slicked the knife's apex through muscle, not stopping until he hit the bone.

  Why can I not be normal? Why can I not take a beautiful woman with the gentleness she deserves?

  He twisted his wrist, digging a hole into his femur. His head fell back and he roared at the exquisite headiness, pleasure zooming from one corner of his body to the other, a drug, a demon all its own.

  Just a little more.

  Up and down he continued to pump, the path slick because of his blood. His hips writhed as he continued to twist the knife. There was another sharp lance of pain, another sultry wave of pleasure.

  What if he had no need for pain? What if Danika were here, sucking him deep into her mouth?

  "Yes, yes," he chanted. Her sunshine hair would spill over his legs; perhaps he would see the pink tip of her tongue laving the thick head of his penis. He might feel the light scrape of her teeth every time she descended, taking him to the back of her throat.

  Would she like the taste of him?

  Maybe she would take him in her mouth while he lic
ked and sucked her. Another moan escaped him. She would be wet, wet for him and him alone. Her taste would be like the ambrosia he blended into his wine.

  She would drip with desire. For me, only me.

  For us, the demon snapped, raging inside his mind.

  Reyes clenched his teeth. For me. Never us. You are the reason I cannot have her.

  I didn't open the box, now did I?

  Reyes gave the knife yet another twist, and the tip sliced the bone in two, driving straight into another muscle. At the moment of penetration, a climax ripped through him. He roared loud and long, his muscles contracting, hot seed jetting from him and blending with his blood. Both scalded his skin, like battery acid on silk.

  Only when the last surge ended did he lose his last bit of strength and sag, completely depleted. His arms fell to his sides, lifeless. He was panting, could taste metal in his mouth. During orgasm, he'd bitten the inside of his cheek.

  Can't stay here. Have to clean up before someone finds me. Slowly his eyelids cracked open, golden light seeping into his consciousness. He needed to find Torin and - His thoughts skidded to a sickened halt.

  Danika stood in the bathroom's doorway, staring down at him in horror.