To Love a Spy

by Aileen Fish

  She tried to gulp down the fright lodged in her throat, but it wouldn’t budge. She slowly shifted her arms in front of her and clasped her cold fingers.

  He stepped farther into the room until reaching the low-burning lamp on the side table. He turned up the wick and the light brightened the room. She squinted, peering through cracked lids as she tested her vision. In place of his generally handsome face, a frown marred his rugged features. Her heart twisted. She’d been caught and she needed to find a way out of the quicksand that slowly swallowed her.

  She licked her suddenly dried lips, and cleared her throat. “Ashton, wh-what are you doing here?”

  “I live here.” He arched a critical eyebrow. “Or had that somehow slipped your mind as you wandered through my house uninvited?”

  Her heart clenched. He knew very well it hadn’t slipped her mind. No matter what, she couldn’t tell him what she suspected him of doing. “Forgive me, but I entered your house uninvited, assuming you wouldn’t mind. I…um, I seem to have left my wrist purse somewhere, and I thought perhaps I’d left it here when I came to your dinner party the other evening.”

  Gradually, his hand holding the pistol lowered, but suspicion still sparked in his eyes. “Then you should have sent me a note and I would have searched for it. But instead, you waited until you thought I had left before sneaking in. Not only that, but when you were here the other evening with my friends, we all congregated in the sitting room, not here in the study. So now I am to wonder why you would think your wrist purse is in this particular room.”

  Inwardly, she grumbled. Distrust radiated from his gaze and nearly shattered her defenses. How could she have been so careless? As her heartbeat throbbed in her throat, her mind whirled with confusion. What could she have done differently? Then again, it didn’t matter. She had to deal with what was going on now…and try to get out of this sticky situation. Unfortunately, she couldn’t think straight to save her life.

  She shrugged, wishing her body wasn’t so stiff. She couldn’t let him see how frightened he made her. So, since she couldn’t make her body relax, perhaps she could keep her voice from being so shaky. “Pardon me, once again for assuming, because I had just supposed you would bring my purse in here to keep it safe until I came for it.” Hopefully, he’d believe that statement. For a moment, she thought it had worked, because his arm lowered another inch.

  He studied her through a hooded gaze. Still his mouth hadn’t moved from the distrustful scowl fixed upon his expression when he first entered the room. She didn’t dare say anything more, but she felt the need to convince him that she wasn’t trying to steal from him.

  Steal? She could have laughed. She wouldn’t be the one stealing…he would.

  Doubtful, he’d suspect her of anything, especially a Secret Agent. After all, women usually didn’t have occupations like this, and she’d worked so hard to try to present herself as a carefree heiress who didn’t know how to use her mind. To be sure, Ashton Lee would be shocked to know this wasn’t her at all, which was why he must never know. She must protect her true identity.

  Being in the family business was hard, but she’d been taught from her youth how to use her head. She was taught by the best agents—her father and brother. Now, if only her mind would start working properly just like it was trained to do.

  Yet, since meeting Ashton Lee, things had not gone as planned. Especially when she had allowed him to capture her heart.

  Unfortunately, nothing would be the same ever again. It didn’t matter if he was a thief. Every time he offered his sweet smile, her heart softened.

  He took another step toward her. “I see your reasoning. However, you haven’t answered my question on why you came to my house when you thought I was gone?”

  Oh, dear. She moistened her mouth and swallowed again before answering. “I had actually dropped by hoping you were home, but the lights were out. I knew it was late, and…and I really didn’t want to bother you with something so mundane. I thought if I could sneak in and just peek in your study, no harm would be done.” She smiled as charmingly as she could muster with quivering lips.

  “Miss Bastian,” he said, coming even closer, “do you make it a habit of going out after dark to visit men at their homes, and then sneak in when the lights are out?”

  What is wrong with me? Never before had she felt so dumbstruck. Then again, she’d never felt this way about a man before, either. “Well, no, but—”

  “Nicole,” he whispered her name closing the space between them as he stood in front of her. “I have always wondered something about you from the very first time we met. I couldn’t quite understand what had me so perplexed, but I felt as if you were holding secrets.” He swept the fingers of his free hand along the curls by her cheek. “I now realize that you are not the woman you pretend to be.”

  Ice chilled her blood. No! He couldn’t possibly know that. She wouldn’t admit the truth to him even if he threatened her life. Then again, with him holding a gun on her, perhaps her life was at stake. She mentally pushed the thought aside. He wouldn’t shoot her. They’d been through too much already; too many shared kisses, too many shared moments that could never be erased.

  She inhaled deeply, taking in his leathery scent. Obviously, he’d been riding his horse again. His fingers stroking her cheek created warmth in her face, which the shock from seeing him here had taken away from her. “I-I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Oh, my dear, Nicole.” He shook his head slowly. “It is time to stop playing this game with me. I’ve suspected who you were for a few days now.”

  She gasped, her mouth turning dry. Blood rushed to her head, causing her skull to pound so fast she thought it would explode. She must do something to change his mind. Scanning the room behind him, she hoped to find a direct path in which to bolt—without being shot, of course. She couldn’t possibly accept the fact that her cover had been blown!

  “You thought I’d been lying to you?” she asked, her voice much higher than she’d wanted.

  “Not at first, but the more we talked, the more I realized your charade.”

  He couldn’t possibly have guessed. “I, sir, do not have a charade. If anyone has one, it’s you!”

  “And how did you come to that conclusion, my dear?”

  Once again, he had put her on the spot. When would her mind start functioning correctly? She needed to think rationally soon. “Oh come now. You cannot tell me that you haven’t heard the rumors.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Rumors? Of what, may I ask?” His voice was steady and entirely too confident.

  Uncomfortable, she laughed lightly. She tried to regain her breathing and gain control once again. “The train robberies these past few months, of course. Have you forgotten about them so soon? Money has been stolen from your train—money that is going to help rebuild the south because of the disaster from the war.”

  “You don’t have to explain the robberies. Because I’m one of the owners of the rail line, I know what is going on. But what does this have to do with me?”

  She swept a still-shaky hand through the air around her, motioning to the room’s décor. “It’s rumored that your coffers have doubled in the past few months. Now tell me, Mr. Lee, is it just a coincidence that this happened around the same time as the train thefts?”

  An indescribable expression crossed his features and darkened his face. She couldn’t tell if he was extremely humored at her comment, or shocked that she would say such a thing. Gradually, she felt like things would turn her way. She had caught him, not the other way around. Indeed, she would take back the upper hand in this verbal sword-play of mind control.

  He kept silent for a few awkward moments as his gaze bore deep into hers. She didn’t dare say anymore until he gave his reply.

  Slowly, the unfathomable expression left his face as a grin tugged at his mouth. He moved closer, not stopping until he was a mere breath away. The bulk of her gown rubbed against the material of his trousers
. Uncertainty jumped inside her, and although instinct told her she should be afraid, fear was not the emotion swirling inside her stomach and warming her blood right now.

  The pistol he clutched fell to his side, but his weapon of choice now was his limb-melting gaze and sensual grin. This one was more dangerous.

  “Nicole,” he said in a husky tone, “are you seriously accusing me of thievery?”

  A quick thought flitted through her head. He must be some kind of thief because he’d stolen her heart. And it seemed, he was trying to steal it again as he struggled to gain control over this conversation.

  Up this close, the few freckles across his nose were more prominent, and the dimple in his cheek made her want to stroke the pad of her finger across it. Instead, she did her best to remain still, even if her insides were having a jumping match at the moment. “I’m not accusing you of anything, Mr. Lee. I’m merely pointing out the similarities. Money was stolen, and suddenly, you have acquired quite a bit.”

  “Didn’t I ask you to call me Ashton?” His voice deepened.

  “Uh, yes.”

  “Then why aren’t you?”

  “Because I thought…well, you see…I just don’t think—”

  “Nicole, do you know how lovely you are when you’re flustered?” He used his other hand to caress her cheek.

  A shiver of excitement rattled through her, and she cursed him for being able to do this. Why had he said such a thing—now, of all times? Had it slipped his mind that he’d caught her in his house, and that he was holding a pistol? Or had she somehow gained control over this conversation without knowing it?

  Then it struck her like a railroad spike between the eyes, and the realization made her heart sink. He was trying to change the subject. For some reason, he didn’t want to talk about the train robbery or that he’d suddenly come across more money. He was using his charm to weaken her.

  That only meant one thing.

  The man was guilty. Ashton Lee was indeed the train robber—or at least one of the men involved. Because of his position with the company, he was probably the one who had planned the whole thing and hired the thugs to do the dirty work.

  “You think I’m flustered?” she asked, her voice cracking.

  His grin widened. “Aren’t you?” His touch moved from her cheek to her bottom lip. The pad of his thumb rubbed the skin, his gaze staying on that spot. “In these past few weeks of knowing you, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you stumble over your words. In all that time, you have been a confident woman. You say what’s on your mind. So to answer your question, yes, I do think you’re flustered.” He paused, and then added, “And I find it adorable.”

  Slowly, his head dipped closer as his hand dropped to her shoulder. He’s going to kiss me! Yet knowing this didn’t make her want to stop him at all. Instead, she was encouraged and grasped his waistcoat with both of her hands, waiting…anticipating his lips on hers.

  His warm breath touched her mouth just before his lips did. Sighing a satisfied breath, she leaned into him, pressing her mouth intimately against his. Strong arms wrapped around her body, settling her in his embrace a little better. When her hands felt imprisoned between their chests, she slid her palms up over his shoulders to the nape of his neck.

  Although gentle, the kiss was also wild. He kissed her like he couldn’t get enough, slanting his head from side to side. She responded with the same eagerness.

  Inside her heart, emotion grew—very tender; very endearing. But inside her head, doubts crept in, reminding her that he only acted this way as a diversion. It shouldn’t matter how charming, handsome, and sweet he’d been to her—and how incredible he made her feel when kissing him—he was guilty. He would eventually be arrested and thrown in prison for his crimes. Unless, of course, the judge decided to hang Ashton, instead.

  Her conscience screamed for her to stop the kiss and remember her training, but she couldn’t. Indeed, he was a thief. He’d taken away her control once more. This time, however, she didn’t mind that much, especially when a few pleasurable sighs released from his throat. At least she wasn’t the only one enjoying the moment.

  Within seconds, his lips grew soft, and his actions tender, his kisses slow, almost leisurely. He left her breathless. How could a heartless criminal show her so much affection? It was obvious he did care about her in some way.

  When he finally broke the kiss, he seemed to have difficulty breathing as well. His hazel eyes smoldered with desire while he held her stare. She scrambled for something intelligent to say, but as before, she was at a loss for words.

  Soon, the scowl reappeared on his face and he frowned. “You kiss too well for an innocent woman. Just as I suspected, you are not whom you proclaim to be.” He released her and stepped several feet back, raising the pistol to her once more. “Such a shame I have to shoot you. We could have been good for each other.”

  Fear jolted through her again. This time, it nearly dropped her body to the ground. Why hadn’t she thought to unarm him when he’d been in her embrace? He couldn’t kiss her as passionately as he did and then kill her! This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. There must be a way to convince him otherwise.

  Sadness darkened his face and he shook his head. “Believe me, Nicole, I wish things would have turned out differently.”

  Tears blurred her vision. “No, Ashton!”

  The fire of a pistol exploded through the room. Darkness quickly filled her mind as she collapsed on the floor.

  Chapter 1

  Two months earlier

  Nicole Bastian jiggled the doorknob to the study, and at the same time, strained to listen to what was happening down the hallway. It was early in the evening, and the bulk of the guests for the masked ball had yet to arrive at General Babcock’s residence in Staten Island. While the family greeted guests and the staff readied last minute details, Nicole took the perfect opportunity to sneak around his study.

  Grumbling under her breath, she gritted her teeth. The locked door wouldn’t budge.

  Not to be deterred, she reached into her styled hair for the extra pins she had placed in her mass of waves just for this very occasion. As she pulled one out, her knuckles bumped against her mask, making it tilt on her face. Quickly, she adjusted the black, silk cover over her eyes, and then pulled free the second hairpin. She artfully, stuck the pins into the lock and maneuvered them slowly. Her father, Conrad Bastian, had taught her this trick at a very young age, and she had quickly mastered the skill.

  The latch finally popped and Nicole opened the door. She took one last peek down the hallway. Closer to the ballroom there was more light, but on this side of the house the lamps were dimmed. Only shadows played with her now—shadows and sounds. After stepping into the room and easing the door shut, she let her ears take over where her vision failed in the darkened room.

  She stood by the door and waited until her eyes adjusted. A window hung like a picture on the far wall, and nearly as lovely. The lanterns from outside peeked through the slits of the thin, white curtains, showing her the way. Slowly, she slid her feet across the carpet, feeling for any obstacle that might alert someone to her presence. A clock ticked noisily somewhere close by, and her fast beating heart was nearly as loud.

  The window grew closer until she was able to touch the curtains and part them open. The light trickled in, and she swung her head, scanning the room carefully. She was only after one item. A journal. Unfortunately, as the shadows in the room changed into actual shapes, she noticed General Babcock’s study was filled with a vast collection of books.

  Inwardly, she groaned. Locating the journal among his personal library could take all night! She didn’t have all night. Her brother, Gordon, waited outside at the carriage for her to pass him the journal so he could take it straight to President Grant. Not only that, General Babcock’s wife and daughters might become concerned to why their guest’s niece had suddenly disappeared. Nicole couldn’t allow her aunt and uncle to have any kind of suspicion put upon th
em because of her.

  The heat inside the room was insufferable. She pushed open the window and peeked outside. She flattened herself next to the wall, hiding in the shadows. Satisfied she wouldn’t be seen, she leaned her face out into the cool, night air. Rose scent infused the air from the bushes just under the window.

  Laughter from the side of the yard erupted, and she quickly pulled back against the wall. She sneaked peeks to the courtyard below, searching for the people who’d made the noise. A boisterous couple walking through the gardens gradually made their way to the front of the house. Nicole released a relieved sigh and turned back to the room.

  The large oak desk sat near the hearth, and one sofa leaned against the wall. The rest of the room was occupied by shelves upon shelves of books. She sighed. Indeed, this would take her more time than she liked, but she was determined to find it.

  After aggressively searching for a few minutes, she stopped and blew out a frustrated breath. There had to be an easier way. Think Nicole. You can do this! Closing her eyes, she cleared her mind. If she were trying to keep something hidden, where would she place it for safe-keeping?

  Once more, she scanned the room, slower this time. The most logical choice would be in the desk, which was what some people might think, but because that location was too obvious, she knew it would not be there. Now she needed to decide where the least obvious hiding spot was in the study.

  She took careful steps to the far wall. A small table stood, holding a filled decanter of liquid and two glasses. She took a deep sniff. It was brandy. General Babcock was known to enjoy his brandy late in the evening before going to bed. Would he keep his important papers nearby his favorite drink? Crouching, she looked around the area, on the floor, and behind the table. From the corner of her eyes, she spotted something odd. As she studied the wooden chair near the desk, there was an item stuck to the bottom of the seat.