To Love a Spy

by Aileen Fish

  Ashton caught his breath as his body froze momentarily. What is she doing here? “Yes, I’m available. Please show her in.”

  Ashton pushed away from his desk and stood, adjusting his waistcoat and cravat. Would he act like a smitten schoolboy like he’d done lately whenever looking upon her? Yet the doubts he’d had since his dinner party were clouding his judgment.

  When Nicole sauntered into the room, he held back a sigh. As always, she was breathtaking. Today she wore a pale pink gown with white lace over the bodice which cascaded halfway down the dress. The neckline was modest, but showed him her delicate throat…skin that he wanted to caress with his lips. Her hair hung down her back in loose ringlets instead of being piled on her head. He liked seeing her light-brown curls circling her neck and shoulders instead of the fancy styles many women had taken to wearing.

  He shook away the thought, wondering how he could get rid of those ideas for good. Trying to act his best under the straining circumstances, he smiled and stepped around his desk to greet her. “What a pleasure to see you again, Miss Bastian.”

  Her face beamed when she met his gaze, and once again, stars danced in her eyes. He wished his heart wouldn’t hammer so fast right now.

  “Mr. Lee.” She came closer to him. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

  “Not at all. I’m always happy to see you.” He glanced behind him at Mr. Wiggins and gave him a nod. “That will be all.”

  The other man returned the nod and closed the door.

  When he looked back at Nicole, her face was more relaxed. Heavens, it was going to be nearly impossible to resist her charms. But he must if he needed to discover what she was hiding from him. “What brings you by my office today?”

  “I was out for a stroll this morning, and I knew I must come find you to thank you again for saving my life.”

  He gave her a sheepish smile. “I must admit, I was extremely worried during those few moments when you were choking. I’m glad you recovered without any complications.”

  “Yes, thanks to your quick thinking.”

  “The others were helping me too, you know.”

  “They were?”

  He nodded. “Well, they were telling me what to do.”

  She chuckled. “Then I’m grateful for their instructions.”

  He motioned to the empty chair in front of his desk. “Would you like to sit down?”

  “I suppose…as long as I’m not a bother to you.”

  “Of course not.”

  She sat on the brown leather chair and he sat on the edge of his desk, folding his arms across his chest. “So did you enjoy yourself last night—other than when you were choking?”

  “Oh, yes. I had a wonderful time.”

  “I’m happy to hear that.”

  “Although—” Her voice trailed off and her attention fell to her hands folded on her lap.

  “What?”

  “Well, I had hoped…” She lifted her eyes and met his. “I had hoped we would have found a private moment together. After all, wasn’t that the original purpose for your dinner party?”

  Slowly, a grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. He just couldn’t stop it this time. “Yes, that was the original plan.”

  “I had just hoped for a little more private time with you.” She flipped a hand in the air. “Then again, you probably think me very bold for voicing my thoughts.”

  “Actually, Nicole, that’s one of the first things that attracted me to you.” He winked.

  “Well then, now you know what I missed last night.”

  The longer he stared into her eyes, the more he felt like a sinking man with no life raft. She was charming him for certain, and yet he didn’t want her to stop. “Forgive me, but I just couldn’t find the right time—or excuse—to take you away after the meal. However, we are sharing a private moment now, are we not?”

  She chuckled. “Yes, we are alone now, but it’s not the same.”

  “What isn’t the same?”

  By the way her chest moved quickly, he could tell her breathing had accelerated, which of course made his heartbeat speed up, too. She stood and stepped closer to him. His heart flipped against his chest. From his current state of mind, he doubted he’d be able to have the ability to catch the organ if it did indeed leap from his body.

  “The mood isn’t the same,” she said softly.

  She was wrong. The mood had changed drastically in just the few seconds since his man had closed the door. He doubted last night would have made him feel this strongly about wanting to hold her, but right now, all he wanted to do now was wrap his arms around her and pull her next to him.

  Ashton took an unsteady breath and slid his palms up her arms. Keeping hold of her stare, he cherished the moment when the color of her eyes darkened. It was like golden sparkles mixed with melting chocolate.

  Her body quivered under his hands, and he grinned. “I believe, my dear Nicole, that at this moment the mood is right. Don’t you agree?”

  Her throat bounced from what he assumed was a hard swallow, and immediately, his mouth became dry as well.

  “Yes, you are correct.” She lifted her hands and rested them on his chest, taking a step closer. She glanced at her right hand. “I can feel your heartbeat, and it’s as erratic as my own.”

  Her voice lowered, becoming more sultry and seductive. How could he snap out of this mood now? He couldn’t, and that’s what worried him.

  Sliding his arms around her, he brought her body up against his. He’d never forget how perfect she fit in his arms. Closing his eyes, he pressed his face into her hair. She smelled wonderfully—like Heaven’s own flower garden. “Oh, Nicole,” he sighed heavily. “You are just so irresistible.”

  Her hands slid up his chest and hooked around his shoulders. One of her hands moved to his head and she threaded her fingers through his hair.

  “So are you, Ashton.”

  He fought the urge to kiss her, but as each second passed, his resolve weakened. He couldn’t allow her to break his heart any more than she’d already done, yet how could he keep himself from giving into temptation?

  Placing his mouth against her neck, just under her ear, he hoped that this would keep him occupied so as not to kiss her lips. Once that happened, he’d be lost for sure and not be able to think straight. But she tilted her head back to give him more access, and his manly instincts took over. He couldn’t resist her any longer. He didn’t want to resist her at all. And if that made him weak in his friends’ eyes, then so be it. He’d admit to being a weak man…but a very satisfied one.

  He kissed her slowly. Just as always, clouds swam in his head and Heavenly harps strummed in his ears. Indeed, her mouth had put him under a spell—for which he had no desire to leave. A deep sigh ratted from her throat, and he knew keeping things slow wasn’t going to happen this time. The skin at her neck was as silky smooth and delicate as he remembered it being. As though acting on their own, his lips didn’t want to stop wandering over her. She clutched his shoulders but didn’t pull away.

  He kissed every exposed part of her neck, and then trailed his mouth lower to her bosom. Just as he neared what he was after, she pushed him away slightly. Her breaths escaped her throat much too fast, matching his own.

  “Ashton, no,” she said softly.

  Inwardly, he groaned and rested his forehead against hers. After several deep breaths, he said, “Forgive me. I…got carried away.”

  “As did I.” Her breaths were still heavy and fast.

  Soon she relaxed back in his arms, and traced the side of his face with the tip of her finger. “You are a hard man to resist.”

  “Then we are in big trouble, because you are harder to resist.”

  “Ashton, I was thinking…” She took another deep breath.

  “About what, my dear?”

  “I would like you to meet my father and brother.”

  His breath caught in his throat. Had he heard correctly? Impossible! “You want me to meet your fami
ly?”

  She nodded. “If that’s all right with you.”

  “Uh…yes, I suppose it is.”

  She offered a lazy smile. “I was thinking last night after your friends dropped me off, that you are probably wondering why I’ve been so hesitant about introducing my family to you.” She licked her lips. “So, I decided that I think it’s time you met them.”

  “W-why now?”

  “I want you to know that I’m really not ashamed of them. My father has done the best he could in raising me, and although he’s not a banker, or an owner of a shipping line—or a railroad—he’s still my father and he’s done what he thinks is best for my welfare.”

  His heart began to soften again. All this time he’d wondered why she was so secretive about her family. Now he realized the reason. She must be ashamed of them. Yet, she was still willing to introduce them to him.

  Nicole was not the thief his friends had tried to convince him she was. Even if her companion from the train had a dark past, it didn’t mean Nicole had one as well. Ashton’s first instincts about her had been correct. She was as sweet and genuine as he’d first thought. She wasn’t trying to hide anything from him other than her guilt for being ashamed of the way her father had raised her.

  “I think that’s a splendid idea. I would love nothing more than to meet your family,” he answered honestly.

  She sighed and smiled fully. “I’ll arrange a day and time and let you know.”

  “I’m available every night this week. The quicker the better, don’t you agree?”

  “Oh yes, Ashton.” Her eyes lit up once again.

  The pain of his guilt disappeared, and relief swept over him, knowing that his friends had been wrong about her and that he had been right. His heart swelled with that strange emotion he’d been getting lately whenever they were close, but this time, he didn’t try to fight it. He welcomed it and warmth spread through him.

  “Thank you, my darling Nicole,” he muttered before placing his mouth over hers.

  Her fast intake of breath from the suddenness of his actions quickly turned into a heady sigh as she wrapped her arms around his neck and participated fully in the kiss. His heart sang with gladness as he hungrily kissed her. Satisfaction filled him, knowing he could now allow her to take his heart…as long as she took the rest of him with it. He was hers body and soul, and he never wanted that to change.

  Loud voices from outside his office broke his concentration. Nicole must have heard the noise as well, because she pulled back and swung her head toward the door.

  Grumbling under his breath, he moved away from her. “Forgive me, my dear, but I must take care of things out here first.”

  “Ashton,” she said, quickly stopping him. “I must leave anyway, but…can we plan another meeting?”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Another meeting?”

  “Yes. A secret meeting.” Color bloomed in her cheeks.

  “What do you have in mind?” He grinned, liking the idea even before she could tell him.

  “Will you meet me tomorrow evening somewhere private? I…I want to be alone with you again.”

  Excitement sprang inside him. “Where do you want to meet?”

  “The fisherman’s shack where we went that one afternoon.”

  “Oh, yes. I remember.” He moved back to her and took her in his arms again. “I would love to meet you there tomorrow night.”

  “Around seven?”

  “Yes, that’s perfect.” He swooped down and kissed her once more on the lips before pulling away and walking toward his door.

  The next thirty-four hours couldn’t go by fast enough.

  ~*~

  Ashton made it to the fisherman’s shack a good forty-five minutes ahead of schedule. Perhaps he shouldn’t have hurried. It’s not that he was anticipating holding and kissing Nicole…yet, there was no other explanation for his eagerness. Indeed, he couldn’t wait to see her again. The past day and a half seemed to drag by and he thought this moment would never get here.

  So far, there was no sign of her as he paced back and forth in front of the shack. Waiting made him that much more nervous, and he prayed nothing had got in her way of their secret meeting tonight. He’d forgotten that his servants had most of the evening off due to their Butler’s Ball function happening tonight. Now he wanted nothing more than to convince Nicole to go with him to his house and they could be alone there instead of here, where they might get caught.

  On the other hand, taking her to his house might be too risky. Their relationship was getting more dangerous, and the feelings running rampant through his body were becoming unmanageable. He feared there would be a time in the near future that he wouldn’t want to stop kissing her, and he’d be very tempted to take things to the next level.

  For him, the next level was always making the woman his mistress, but with Nicole, he couldn’t do that. She wasn’t like most of the women he’d seduced. She wouldn’t want to be a mere mistress. But if truth be told, he didn’t want her to be. Dare he think of a more permanent relationship? Dare he imagine being married?

  “There you are!”

  A man’s sharp voice rattled Ashton from his improper thoughts and he snapped his attention to the shadows by the shack. Narrowing his gaze, he tried to make out the figure of the person hurrying closer.

  “Nickerson? Is that you?”

  “Of course it’s me, you fool!” Glynn stopped and leaned over, breathing quickly.

  “What are you doing out here? I thought you’d gone back to Staten Island by now.”

  Glynn shook his head. “I stayed behind to…um…visit with Mrs. Browning a little longer.”

  Chuckling, Ashton rolled his eyes. “Oh, I see, but what are you doing here now?”

  “As soon as I heard the news, I had to come find you. I saw you leaving your house a while ago, and it took me this long to follow your trail.”

  “What news?”

  “The police think they have a suspect, but you’re not going to like it.”

  Ashton held his breath, hoping…praying he wouldn’t hear the name that had just popped into his head. “Who is it?” he asked warily.

  “It’s your very own Nicole Bastian.”

  Pain shot through Ashton’s chest, reminding him that this was a feeling he never wanted to experience again.

  “Not only that, but her brother and Mrs. Phelps are involved as well.”

  “Have they…been arrested?” he asked in a choked voice.

  “Not yet. They are just suspects. The police are looking for hard evidence to convict them all.”

  Taking a deep breath, Ashton tried to control the anger and betrayal shooting through him. “So why did you feel the need to follow me all the way out here to tell me?”

  “Because, my friend,” Glynn placed his hand on Ashton’s shoulder, “when I saw you walking this way so late in the evening, I worried you were going to meet Miss Bastian here tonight. I wanted to stop you before you could do anything you’d regret later.”

  “Then I thank you for catching me just in time,” Ashton snapped. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return home and think over this matter more thoroughly.”

  “Yes, I understand.” Glynn took a step back.

  Ashton bolted up the shore toward his horse. He mounted, kicked his steed into action, and raced toward home. How could he have been so blind? Twice now? Had Nicole’s beauty and charm really turned him into a blubbering fool? Obviously, it had. What other explanation could there be for him not using his brain the way the Lord had intended? Ashton had always been a smart man—a logical man, but ever since he’d met Nicole Bastian, he’d been downright ignorant and extremely foolish!

  Never again. His heart couldn’t take it.

  Gripping the reins tighter, he pushed the animal faster. His mind rehashed when this had happened to him before. Many years ago, he’d allowed a woman into his life and heart, and like most women, Ashton soon discovered he couldn’t trust her. Did women not know
how to be truthful? Was there a woman out there who could love him for himself and not the money his family had?

  He rode up to his house. A movement from the window of his study caught his attention. Slowing his horse to a stop, he waited in the shadows and watched at a distance. He’d left a few lamps lit inside his house, but not in his study. So then why was a lamp dimly lit now?

  The shadow moved again. Someone was in there. Quickly, he jumped off his horse and crept to the back door. He entered and went to his gun cabinet located in one of the side rooms. Remaining as quiet as possible, he loaded the pistol before sneaking toward his study.

  He stopped near the doorframe and flattened himself against the wall. Holding his breath, he listened closely.

  “Oh, for Heaven sakes! Why can’t I find anything?”

  He hitched a breath then quickly snapped his mouth closed. What was Nicole doing in his house?

  Trying to calm himself, he slowly stepped into the room. She stood by his desk. Her arms folded as one finger tapped at the end of her chin.

  “Excuse me, Miss Bastian. Are you lost?” he said loudly, making her jump toward him.

  Terror seized her expression and her face was ghost white. Her gaze fell to the pistol he pointed at her. For several long and agonizing seconds, silence stretched in the room. He kept quiet for now as he studied her. There was a slight quake to her stance, but he didn’t think she’d swoon. She wasn’t the swooning type.

  “Well?” he said. “Are you going to answer me?” He stepped closer until he reached the low-burning lamp on the side table. He turned it up and seconds later, the light completely brightened the room. She squinted.

  Her throat jumped and she licked her lips. Slowly, she shifted her hands in front of her, clasping her fingers. “Ashton, wh-what are you doing here?”

  “I live here,” he huffed, arching an eyebrow. “Or had that somehow slipped your mind as you wandered through my house uninvited?”

  “Forgive me, but I entered your house uninvited, assuming you wouldn’t mind. I…um, I seem to have left my wrist purse somewhere, and I thought perhaps I’d left it here when I came to your dinner party the other evening.”

  He gradually lowered the pistol, mistrust still hanging heavy in his mind and especially his heart. “Then you should have sent me a note and I would have searched for it. But instead, you waited until you thought I had left before sneaking in. Not only that, but when you were here the other evening with my friends, we all congregated in the sitting room, not here in the study. So now I am to wonder why you would think your wrist purse is in this particular room.”