by A. K. Evans
And while I didn’t know how they’d react to learning I was pregnant with Roscoe’s baby, I didn’t think it could hurt to share the news with Roscoe’s friends. Even if he wasn’t going to be involved in this baby’s life, maybe the people who loved him could fill that void.
“I’d love to go, especially after the weekend I had,” I began. “Can you text me the address and the time and I’ll meet you there?”
“Sure. But if you want, I’m happy to pick you up, too.”
“Oh, well, I don’t want you to have to go out of your way,” I reasoned.
“It’s no trouble at all,” she promised. “How about you text me your address and I’ll pick you up just before six? Does that work?”
“That’s perfect.”
“Great. And Sienna?”
“Yeah?” I returned.
There was an extended pause before she shared, “Roscoe came by to talk to Walker and me last night.”
An empty feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. How it was possible to be this pregnant and feel so hollow inside was beyond me.
“And?” I rasped.
Once again, the silence stretched between us. That only served to make me grow a more and more concerned. Finally, Sadie apologized, “I’m so sorry about how he treated you.”
I didn’t know what I expected her to say, but that definitely wasn’t it. What had Roscoe said to them? Did he tell them what he thought about me? Did he share all the things I’d said to him both at his house and my apartment?
I spent too much time thinking about what might have gone down at Sadie and Walker’s place that she added, “I hate that he has the hang-ups that he does, but none of that is an excuse for what he said to you about the baby not being his. I’ve been around for years, Sienna. I love Roscoe as much as I love the other guys in the band, but he’s handling this all wrong. I think you should know that Walker and I both told him so.”
Well, that answered any questions I had about whether this could ever get better as time went on. Roscoe had obviously made it clear to his friends that he was not happy about this pregnancy and wanted nothing to do with me or the baby.
Despite how sad that made me, I said, “Thank you for telling me and for being supportive. It means a lot.”
“No problem, babe. I’ll let you go now, but make sure you text me your address.”
“I will.”
“See you on Friday.”
“Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”
At that, Sadie and I disconnected. Before pregnancy brain had the chance to take over and make me forgot, I immediately sent Sadie a text with my address.
Then I got back to work after I finished my lunch. And for the rest of the afternoon, I tried to focus on the positive news of having some new friends instead of focusing on the fact that my baby’s father wanted nothing to do with either one of us.
“Thanks again, for inviting me to come along tonight. I haven’t been out since Addy’s wedding.”
“Oh, I wish I would have known,” Sadie replied. “I would have figured out a way to get your number and call you so much sooner. I’m just glad we ran into you when we were out and about last weekend.”
“Me too,” I murmured.
Sadie and I were in her car on the way to Beck and Chasey’s house. I hadn’t wanted to arrive empty-handed, so I was carrying a serving bowl in my lap filled with homemade pasta salad.
“So, do you think it’s okay for me to tell everyone about the baby?” I asked.
Sadie glanced over at me with a smile on her face and allowed her eyes to drift to my belly. After she returned her attention to the road, she noted, “Unless you brought a bag to put over yourself, I think it’s going to be a little difficult for you to hide the news of the baby.”
“Let me rephrase that question,” I declared. “Do you think it’s okay for me to tell everyone about the baby being Roscoe’s?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“It’s the truth,” she reasoned. “Besides, he’s had nearly a week now to share that news on his own with anyone he wanted to share it with. None of the girls will say anything to anyone if that’s not what you want, but you are under no obligation to keep it a secret. You have every right to be happy about your pregnancy.”
It was a relief to hear that she felt that way. I wanted to celebrate the rest of my pregnancy, and I could only do that if I stopped feeling like I had to hide it from people who mattered. And while Sadie and the rest of the girls were new to my circle, they’d proven they were the right kind of people to have on my side.
But I had to admit that I was worried about how Roscoe’s family was going to take the news if word got around. I loved them and would have hated for them to feel slighted in any way. Sadie was right, though.
Roscoe had had this information for nearly a week now. If he was choosing to keep it from his family, that wasn’t my fault. I’d tell Addy when she was back, and that was all I was going to do.
When Sadie and I arrived at Beck and Chasey’s beautiful home, we didn’t walk up to the front door. Summer had arrived and everyone was already waiting outside in the back of the house on the deck.
With my pasta salad in my hands, I followed behind Sadie as I heard greetings from the rest of the crowd.
Chasey immediately walked up to me and said, “Sienna, it’s so good to see you again. I’m glad you came.”
“Thanks for having me. And congratulations on the new baby,” I returned.
“Thank you so much. We just love her. Beck took her inside a few minutes ago to change her diaper and Luna’s being such a good big sister helping out, but they’ll all be out here any minute now,” she shared.
“Holding the serving bowl out in front of me, I said, “I brought pasta salad. I hope that’s okay.”
The door that led from house to the deck opened, and Beck walked outside holding a brand-new baby in his arms. Luna came sprinting out and right to her aunt. At the same time, Chasey reached for the pasta salad bowl and said, “It’s absolutely fine. We don’t have a pasta salad and Beck is going to grill for us, so it’ll be per—oh my God!”
“What’s wrong?” Beck asked.
“No way,” Holland said from somewhere off to my left.
“What?” Beck repeated.
Ignoring him, Magnolia shared her disbelief. “Oh my word.”
“Please tell me this is the result of something she had with a certain someone,” Demi pleaded.
“What is going on?” Beck demanded.
Chasey stepped to the side, so Beck had a clear vision of me. His eyes dropped to my belly and widened. When they returned to my face, he asked, “Roscoe?”
I slowly nodded.
His face lit up. “Are you serious?”
I continued to nod because I wasn’t sure I could speak.
“That’s excellent news,” he said as he moved toward me with Rosie still in his arms. He wrapped his free arm around my back, gave me a squeeze and a kiss on the side of the head, and added, “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I rasped.
“How far along are you?” Demi asked.
“Twenty-three weeks,” I answered.
“Why hasn’t Roscoe said anything?” Holland wondered. Though I was the only one, with the exception of Sadie, who could answer that question for her, it didn’t sound like she was asking me. It was almost as though she were in a bit of disbelief.
Not wanting her, or the rest of them, to jump to any bad conclusions, I explained, “Roscoe just found out on Sunday. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone while he was on tour.”
“Oh, okay.”
“How did he take the news?” Magnolia asked.
I knew this was going to be coming; I just wish I had prepared myself better for it. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I could have done to prepare myself to share this kind of news.
“Um, he’s having a difficult time with it,” I admitted.
“Don’t cover f
or him, Sienna,” Sadie chimed in. She looked at the rest of the group and shared, “Roscoe was a dick to her. And I’m saying that as someone who spoke to him later that day and got the story from him.”
“Oh no,” Chasey murmured.
“What did he do?” Beck asked.
I sighed and shook my head as I looked at Beck. “I really appreciate all of you being concerned, but I don’t want to start any trouble. This was not planned and very unexpected for both of us. I’m happy about it, and he’s not. That’s all.”
“He actually asked her if she was sure the baby was his,” Sadie shared.
My eyes went to her, silently pleading. I didn’t want everyone else to think I was this horrible person that was going to come along and ruin the band. She shot me a sympathetic look and lamented, “I’m sorry, babe. I’m just really angry on your behalf. And he knows exactly how I feel. You standing here not wanting to say anything bad about him is admirable. But he deserves your anger.”
I dipped my chin and looked away.
“If you’re happy, we’re happy for you,” Magnolia said as she moved close and gave me a hug. “Congratulations.”
When she moved away, Demi stepped forward. The look on her face spoke volumes. Pissed was an understatement. “He’s your baby’s daddy, so I won’t say anything too terrible about him to you, but I will give him a piece of my mind the next time I see him. That said, if you need anything at all, we’re all here for you.”
Roscoe might not be pleased that Demi was going to give him an earful. Either way, I didn’t focus on that. That was mostly because I was too overwhelmed by the kindness and support they were all showing me.
“That means a lot to me. I’d really just like to meet Rosie and Luna and spend some time getting to know all of you tonight,” I started. Then I directed my attention to Chasey and added, “And if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to pick your brain a bit. My mom wanted me to go and register for items I’d need for the baby so she could throw a baby shower. I went to the store to do that last weekend and started feeling overwhelmed with everything. I had no idea what to get, and I started thinking that maybe I should wait and do it with Roscoe. At least if we picked out the wrong things, we would have picked them out together.”
I paused a moment, feeling myself get emotional.
My eyes were filled with tears as I croaked, “That’s not going to happen now, and I don’t know what my baby needs.”
“Oh, Sienna,” Chasey said as she handed the pasta salad to Demi and stepped toward me. She brought her arms around me and pulled me close. “I’ll tell you everything you need to know. And whenever you’re ready, I’ll go with you to create your registry.”
I pulled myself together, stepped back, and swiped at my tears. “I don’t want to inconvenience you. You just had a baby and—”
“It’s not an inconvenience,” Beck interrupted. “Chasey will go with you whenever works best for you. I’ve got the girls.”
“You’re all being so kind,” I murmured.
“You’re family now, Sienna,” Holland declared. “Roscoe is our family, and that’s his baby in your belly. You and that baby are our family now, too.”
I stared at her and deadpanned, “I’m going to cry. I can’t cry anymore.”
“We’ve got you,” she insisted as she pulled me in for a hug. “No matter what he does, I promise we’ve got you, Sienna.”
God, that felt good.
I took in a deep breath and whispered, “Thank you.”
A few seconds later, Beck announced, “Okay, somebody needs to take this little lady so I can fire up the grill.”
I turned around and looked at him. “Could I?”
His features softened. “Yes, of course.”
The next thing I knew, Rosie was in my arms. And when I sat down and started talking to the people who’d just declared themselves my family, something washed over me. I never would have imagined it would be the case, considering the current state of my relationship with Roscoe, but I was the most content I’d been since before I’d gotten pregnant.
Maybe I was going to be okay after all.
Ten
Roscoe
I was in the grocery store when it happened.
For nearly two weeks now, I’d been trying and failing to put Sienna out of my mind. I hadn’t been trying to do that because I was being heartless. Or, I didn’t think that was the reason. I just didn’t know what to do.
But that woman would not let me go.
No matter how hard I tried, I continued to see her face night after night. My mind couldn’t stop seeing the image of her standing right inside the front door of my house, her petite frame only making her pregnancy seem that much more pronounced.
And the words.
All the words she’d said to me. All the words Walker and Sadie had said to me. Nothing seemed to prevent them from filtering through my mind all day, every day.
Sienna had been in my thoughts since I walked out of her apartment that Sunday evening when she asked me to. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since.
But now it was Friday evening, just after dinnertime, and I was seeing her for the first time. I’d brought myself out to the store because Beck had called me earlier in the week and said he needed to have a guys’ night out. He wasn’t up for actually going out to a bar or anything, but he hadn’t been out since his daughter was born. Since I was the only single one left in the group, I immediately volunteered my place.
The guys were going to be coming over tomorrow night. And after ordering some dinner in for myself tonight, I realized I didn’t have any beer. So, I ventured out so I could grab a couple of cases. While I was out, I figured I should pick up some chips and dip, too. That’s why I was here now.
For chips and dip.
I’d gotten both and had been heading toward the register when I saw her.
Sienna was waiting patiently for the person in front of her to move so she could get some eggs. She didn’t see me, and I kept my distance. I didn’t approach, and I wasn’t sure why.
Actually, I knew exactly why.
She wanted nothing to do with me. Perhaps rightfully so.
But I couldn’t just walk away either. She had one hand resting gently on her belly. It was probably done without a thought, but to me, it was as though she was protecting that baby inside her.
That baby.
No. My baby.
Fuck.
The woman in front of her had moved, and Sienna stepped forward to pick up a dozen eggs for herself. She opened the carton, inspected them, and placed them in her cart. Then she lifted up her phone, took one glance at the eggs again, and tapped on her phone. I assumed she must have put a list on her phone and was marking things off as she got them.
She began pushing her cart, and I followed. But I continued to remain back far enough that she wouldn’t see me. I watched as she picked up a loaf of bread, tapped on her phone again, and moved along. She did the same thing with bananas, carrots, hummus, cheese, pasta, rice, frozen vegetables, and ice cream that she added to her cart.
And if there was one thing I knew, it was that I didn’t think I’d ever forget the look on her face when she smiled as she added that ice cream to the rest of her provisions.
After that, she made her way to the far end of the store where the paper products were. But she didn’t turn down an aisle for napkins, paper towels, or toilet paper.
Nope.
Sienna walked into the aisle filled with stuff for babies. She stopped and looked at some toys, picking them up and smiling at them as she continued to press one palm to her belly. None of the toys made it into her cart, though. She moved farther down the aisle and stopped in front of the diapers.
She inspected a few of them, finally deciding on the one she wanted, and held two packages in her hands. Then, something strange happened.
Sienna looked back at the shelf. Her eyes widened, and she set both packages of diapers down on the top of her cart. Picking up her
phone, she tapped on the screen again. From where I was standing, I could finally see what she was doing. She was using a calculator.
Clearly, Sienna was disciplined and liked to stay within her budget.
Or maybe, that wasn’t it at all.
Because what happened next made me feel sick to my stomach.
Sienna put one package of the diapers back on the shelf and subtracted them from the total on the calculator. She got behind the cart again, took two steps forward, and stopped. Her head moved back and forth as her gaze drifted between her cart and the diapers. She moved back, picked the second pack of diapers up again, and added them to the cart and her total.
When she moved forward, I walked in the same direction. I made a mental note of the diapers she’d picked up and continued to follow her at a safe distance.
Then she returned to the freezer section. She reached into her cart, took out the ice cream, and put it back.
She put the fucking ice cream back before she moved toward the front of the store to check out.
Once again, I followed and made another mental note. This one was of the ice cream she’d selected and then returned.
Christ.
She was giving up a carton of ice cream, something that couldn’t have been more than three or four dollars, just so she could buy an extra pack of diapers for the baby growing inside her body.
A hollow feeling settled in my stomach as a burn hit my lungs.
It was in that moment that I realized I didn’t know anything about Sienna. Suddenly, a bunch of questions ran through my mind. Where did she work? What did she do for a living? Why couldn’t she afford a fucking carton of ice cream? And why did she tell me she didn’t need my help or my money?
She doesn’t need you, Roscoe. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you.
Sadie’s words rang in my mind.
Damn it.
She was giving up financial security for herself and her baby because I’d been a dick to her. No, that’s not right. She was giving up financial security for herself and our baby.
Her making that decision was all on me.
