Goal Line (Madison Howlers #4)

by Camellia Tate

  “I have a weakness for cheese,” Devon informed her. “Chocolate never really grabbed me, but cheese... I love cheese,” he said almost conspiratorially.

  Annie bit her lip, feeling that this was too serious a confession for her to giggle at. Devon’s gaze dropped to her mouth, making Annie’s whole body heat up by several degrees at once. It was all she could do not to push the kittens out of the way and crawl over to Devon’s lap herself.

  “What kind of cheese?” she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper. She was absolutely going to file this information away for later use. Annie wasn’t much of a chef, but she could cook. She wasn’t at all above using Devon’s weakness to her advantage.

  In a whisper just as dramatic as her own, Devon whispered back, “All cheese.” That was all it took before Annie did burst out into giggles. From the smile that played against Devon’s lips, she didn’t think he minded. If anything, he looked pretty pleased with having made her laugh.

  “I like fried cheese, the worst offender,” Devon added slightly more seriously. “There’s a cheese festival every year in Madison, it’s like... all the world’s cheeses get together and have a party. A party during which you get fat.”

  It was such a great description that Annie laughed again, before trying to school her face into a more sympathetic expression. “I’m sorry,” she said, shifting so she could reach out and squeeze Devon’s impressive bicep. “That must be so difficult for you to deal with.” Her thumb brushed circles just below the sleeve of Devon’s shirt. His skin was so warm. Annie flushed as she imagined what he would feel like stretched naked below her.

  “How do you cope?” she asked. “Is it easier to stay away completely and pretend you don’t know it’s happening?” That seemed like a sensible option. But of course, people were rarely sensible with the things they most craved.

  “Oh no,” Devon shook his head energetically. “I always go. I just get fat. It can’t be helped.” He obviously didn’t get fat, but Annie wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he had to train extra after he’d been to a cheese festival. “There’re hundreds of cheeses, Annie,” Devon informed her. “The temptation is too great.”

  He paused then. For a moment, Annie thought he might lean in and kiss her. But before he got a chance to, one of the shelter workers popped her head in.

  “Sorry,” she said sounding genuinely apologetic. “We need to feed the kittens, so you’ll have to go.”

  They took their time, saying goodbye to each and every kitten. By the time they walked back down the stairs and shrugged into their coats, it was already getting dark.

  Since Devon knew Madison better than she did, Annie let him guide them towards a street where they might find a restaurant. Being a Friday evening, there were plenty of people out. Annie watched other couples, strolling hand in hand. Refusing to let herself feel shy, she slipped her arm through Devon’s, pressing closer against his side as they stopped to study the menu outside a cozy-looking bistro.

  “Are you sure it’s safe?” Annie teased, “they have a lot of melted cheese things on this menu.”

  Before Devon could answer, Annie heard his name being called from behind them. Turning, she spotted a knot of three guys, broad shoulders obvious despite their winter jackets, hurrying over.

  “Friends of yours?” she guessed, glancing up at Devon. He didn’t pull his arm away, which settled a lovely warmth in Annie’s stomach.

  “No, they’re just some assholes I work with,” Devon answered once they approached, to a bunch of ‘heys’ and a very dramatic ‘how dare you, you love us’. It made Annie laugh. They were obviously used to the deadpan way Devon delivered jokes.

  “We’re going out for drinks,” one of the guys said. “You want to join us?” From the tone of the question, though, it didn’t sound like he expected Devon to say yes. Probably because his hand was still linked with Annie’s.

  “Obviously not.” Devon shook his head.

  The guys laughed at that but nodded anyway. “Sure, sure, you’re busy,” another one said, his glance moving to Annie. “You must be Antonia,” he said with a grin.

  “Ann? Tonia?” One of the others guessed, making Annie frown.

  “Tonya?” The third suggested. “There hasn’t been a Tonya.”

  The way Devon shifted it was clear that he didn’t feel comfortable with this line of questioning. “Fuck off,” he told the guys. Annie was sure that there was more to it.

  There hasn’t been a Tonya. Annie plastered a smile onto her lips, but the words kept nagging at her. So there had been an Ann? And a Tonia? She felt a dread start to creep its way down her spine.

  “It’s Annie,” she said, throwing every ounce of good cheer she could muster into her voice. The more she thought about it, the surer Annie was that she didn’t want to discuss this in front of these strangers.

  “Oh, that’s new!” One of them grinned, offering Annie his hand. Fighting not to show her reluctance, Annie took it. She barely paid attention as the three men introduced themselves. Her mind was too busy spinning theories.

  Annie had heard of people who only dated partners with the same name as their soulmark. She’d never thought what it might feel like to be one of those partners. And yet, that had to be what was happening here. Devon’s teammates had been so sure of her name, it had to mean that there was no chance she could’ve been anything else.

  Cold water seemed to wash through all of Annie’s warm feelings towards Devon. She’d been so excited to meet him, to find out that he was a Devon. But she’d been attracted to him even before that. She’d thought that he had been attracted to her for something other than her name.

  Discovering that their soulmarks matched should have made Annie jump for joy. Instead, she wanted to sink down into the ground beneath her feet and disappear.

  She waved as Devon’s teammates walked away, using the excuse to pull her arm free from Devon’s. She thought about saying she felt ill and wanted to go home, but Devon would see through it. He’d want to talk. Annie didn’t feel as though she could bear that right now.

  “So, shall we eat?” she suggested instead.

  It took Devon a moment to reply, but then he nodded. “Yeah, we’re almost there,” he nodded. “I’m sorry. I told you they’re assholes,” Devon said. Somehow, that didn’t ease the knot tangled low in Annie’s stomach.

  She liked Devon. It sucked to think that he only liked her because of her name.

  Chapter Four

  DEVON REALLY DID only date women with his soulmark’s name. Usually, there was a bit of awkwardness about it. Since Devon had met quite a few of his exes online, it was never that big of a problem. And yeah, it might seem kind of weird to have so many exes with the same name, but actually apart from Ann and Ann Too, they hadn’t quite had the same name.

  Not that any of this helped with Annie. Devon was sure she must feel uncomfortable.

  He couldn’t really blame his teammates for it, though it was tempting. They were stupid for saying it the way they did. Devon might say as much when he saw them at training tomorrow. But it was also his own fault. He should have told Annie. There just hadn’t seemed the right sort of time.

  And now she knew. And Devon knew she knew because Annie’s whole demeanor had changed.

  There was a tension in her shoulders. The bubbly, talkative Annie was replaced by this more serious, almost monotone version. Devon knew instantly that he didn’t like it. She was perfectly polite, even engaged in conversation with him, but there was a coldness there that Devon hated. Especially since he knew it was his fault.

  He wanted to fix it. It took Devon the whole dinner to figure out how he could fix it. Afterward, when he was sure Annie was about to make her excuses to leave, he reached out to bump his hand against hers. Devon didn’t try to take it, to hold it, he just brushed over it to make her look at him.

  “Come for a walk with me?”

  He saw the wariness in her eyes. As much as Devon hated it, he knew it was justifie
d. Annie shouldn’t have had to find out from his teammates. She deserved better than that. Now, she must be wondering whether he would have told her at all.

  There was a long pause. Devon must have done something right because Annie finally nodded. “Okay,” she agreed. “As long as it’s not too far away.”

  They weren’t too far from the waterfront, which made for a nice walk. And it wasn’t going to be absolutely crammed with people, even on a Friday night. Devon led them towards it, pleased to find that he was right and it wasn’t too busy. Once they stopped, he turned towards Annie.

  “I’m sorry,” he said genuinely. “About earlier. About what the guys said.” He wanted Annie to know that he liked her. But Devon wouldn’t lie and pretend that he would’ve gone out with her if he didn’t know her name. It was shitty, yes, but it was also just part of who Devon was.

  There was another pause. Devon could practically see Annie weighing up what she wanted her response to be, whether she was going to pretend there was nothing wrong. She gave a small sigh as she looked up at him. “It’s not really what they said that’s the problem, Devon,” she pointed out. And yeah, that was fair.

  “I don’t want you to be dating me just because I happen to have the right name,” she said. Devon could hear the hurt in her voice, the pain she’d spent their dinner trying to choke down. “I thought - I thought you liked me.”

  “I do like you,” Devon rushed in to say. He really did like Annie. She was like a breath of fresh air. Her energy and her positivity were so different from what Devon was like himself. He was a lot more calm, slow in things. Yes, he was focused, but all of his life was very structured. He thought about things and then he did them.

  Even though he’d known Annie for a very short time, Devon could tell that wasn’t what she was like. And that was nice. Having someone so different from him was fun. Yet, it was true that if Annie had been named Becky, Devon wouldn’t have gone out with her.

  He sighed. There probably wasn’t a good way to explain this. “It’s true that I only date women who match my soulmark,” he confirmed. “I don’t have the time to date around. I don’t care to date around. If I date someone whose name doesn’t match my soulmark then sooner or later that won’t work out,” he explained.

  It was a little bit unfair. Devon did know plenty of people found life partners who weren’t their soulmark matches, but he... he wanted to find the one who was.

  Annie folded her arms, tucking her hands against the sides of her jacket to keep out the chill of the evening air. Her expression was still serious, but a little of the hurt seemed to have eased from the tight lines around her mouth.

  “I like you, too,” she said, so softly that Devon almost didn’t hear it. His stomach seemed to clench and to fill with butterflies at the same time. “And I can see how that makes sense, not wanting to waste time with women you know it isn’t going to work out with.”

  She still didn’t look quite sure. “Would you just date anyone, if they were called Antonia?” she asked.

  Devon knew what the answer she wanted to hear was, but it wasn’t the answer he could give. “I would give it a go, yes,” he confirmed. It would’ve been smarter to insist that of course not, that Annie was special. While Devon did think that she was, he had no desire to lie to her. “I wouldn’t get in a relationship with someone just because they’re called Antonia,” he clarified.

  “I really do like you. You’re funny, energetic and just different from how I am. That’s got nothing to do with what you’re called,” Devon commented. “But yeah, I can’t lie to you and say that if your name was something else I would’ve agreed to go out with you, no matter how pretty I thought you were.”

  It just wasn’t something Devon did.

  Annie shook her head, gaze moving out to the water as she processed Devon’s words. “I just don’t know,” she muttered, risking a glance back at him. “You say it has nothing to do with what I’m called, but also that if my name weren’t Antonia you wouldn’t go out with me.” She sighed. “That hurts,” she admitted. “It hurts to think that if I told you Antonia was my middle name, you’d just walk away.” Devon could appreciate how it wasn’t the nicest thought for Annie to contemplate.

  “But my name is Antonia,” she continued. “So… I guess it’s silly to be upset that you wouldn’t like me if it weren’t.” She didn’t sound completely convinced.

  Devon wished he had the right thing to say. But if there even was one, he didn’t know what it’d be. Annie was an Antonia. She’d told him that before asking him out. If that first date had been bad, if they hadn’t had a connection, then Devon wouldn’t have agreed to go out with her again. But he still would’ve had that first date.

  “I’d still like you,” he said truthfully. “But I wouldn’t date you. Because there wouldn’t be a point to doing so. I know that some people do that, but that’s not... I want to find my soulmate match. And yeah, that does mean you’re not the first Antonia I’ve gone out with, but...” Devon shrugged.

  Annie was an Antonia, so this felt a bit like a redundant conversation. “What are you upset about?” he asked. Devon thought he’d explained how he liked Annie. If her concern had been that he didn’t then that should’ve solved it.

  Annie bit her lip, gazing up at Devon before she replied. “I guess I’m upset that my name is… more important to you than everything else.” She stepped a little closer, her green eyes catching the light off the water. “But it also makes sense,” she admitted. “And you’re not the first Devon I’ve dated.”

  That caught Devon by surprise. He knew his name wasn’t exactly common. To have dated more than one, either there’d been a big coincidence or Annie had been looking for Devons.

  “I used a matchmaking service,” Annie explained before Devon could ask. “So when I say I get that you’re looking for your soulmate, I really do.” Her lips curled into a sort of half-smile. “I admire it, even,” she added. “You’re… driven. To become a hockey player, to find your soulmate. I like that.”

  Slowly, almost trepidatiously, Devon reached out to brush a strand of hair off Annie’s face, tugging it behind her ear. He took a step closer, waiting for her to push him away or to take a step back. When she didn’t, he leaned down, catching her lips with his. The cold air around them stood in stark contrast to how warm Annie’s lips were against Devon’s.

  She tasted sweet, sending a pool of warmth to settle low in Devon’s stomach. When he finally pulled back it was because he needed air not because he wanted to stop kissing her.

  “I promise that if I didn’t like you for you, I wouldn’t have gone on a second date with you. And I definitely wouldn’t have told you such important secrets as loving kittens and cheese.”

  Just as Devon had hoped, that made Annie give him a genuine smile. She rested a hand on his chest. Even though the layers of clothes between them, Devon could feel it as a small point of connection.

  “That’s true,” she agreed, her teasing tone much brighter and more energetic than the serious woman he’d seen over their dinner. “You can’t tell just anyone about cheese. You could put your whole career at risk.”

  Going up on her toes, Annie sought his mouth again. Her lips parted under his, tongue darting out to tempt him to deepen the contact.

  He felt her free arm wrap around his waist, under his jacket but over his shirt. Annie pressed her body to his, pulling away only to give him another smile.

  “Does this mean I owe you a secret?” she asked.

  “Only if you want to tell me a secret,” Devon said truthfully. His love of cheese wasn’t a true secret, nor was his love of cats. Honestly, Devon didn’t have true secrets. He moved into Annie’s touch more, glad that the whole name thing hadn’t become a real issue. Devon liked this. He liked her.

  “That’s a good answer,” Annie praised, her expression briefly serious. “Respectful. I like that. It makes me feel like I can trust you with secrets.” She paused, glancing down while she tugged he
r lower lip between her teeth. For a moment, Devon wondered if there was something big she needed to tell him.

  Before he could really put the feeling into words, the moment had passed. “A little secret, then,” she decided, tapping her finger against Devon’s chest. “My nanny used to tell me that blue jays are good luck. If you see one, you know that something nice is going to happen.” Annie shrugged. “I still believe that a little bit. Whenever I see a blue jay, I’m always on the lookout for a piece of luck.” She looked up at him. “It’s okay if you laugh,” she promised.

  Devon did laugh. Not at Annie’s belief that blue jays might bring luck but rather at being told he could laugh about it. “I play on a pro-hockey team,” he pointed out. “I wish the level of superstition in our locker room ended with seeing blue jays. There are some guys who haven’t changed their cups since the season started in case their luck changes.” And Devon was being very generous by saying it was only since the season started.

  Pulling back a little bit, he took Annie’s hand, linking their fingers together. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a blue jay or known that that is what I saw, at least,” Devon admitted. “Have you ever had cheese?”

  Annie laughed. “I’m twenty-six,” she pointed out. “Of course I’ve had cheese. Who lives this long without at least trying pizza?” It was a very fair argument. “I’ve never been to a cheese festival, though,” Annie admitted. “So there's loads of types of cheese I haven’t had. Do you like even the really intense ones?”

  “I do,” Devon confirmed. His question had mostly been a joke, but he didn’t mind having a whole conversation about cheese. Most people just teased him about it. Perhaps that was because most people were his team. Devon felt that it was perfectly fine to have cheese as a hobby.