Reflection

by Lynn Moon

  “Why would you want to help?”

  “I know he’s Swetaachata,” she explains. “I heard your mother talking on the phone. She’s on the Council?”

  I shake my head.

  “I do not believe she is good,” she says.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Her conversation was not that of a worried mother,” she explains. “It was more of a concerned Council member. I do not believe she is worried about your friend.”

  “Why should I trust you?” I whisper. For some reason, I feel it important to keep our conversation private, and with guards outside my door, it will be hard to do.

  “Your friend is Swetaachata,” she says. “We protect our own.”

  “Then tell me how to communicate with him, Moytuya.” I saw her nametag when she first entered my room.

  “If you bonded with him, if you experienced Kupatanna, your souls are one. So are your minds. He can hear your thoughts and you can hear his. That is how your mother knows he is alive.”

  “How do I reach him?”

  She glances out the door and smiles at a guard. Pulling the door shut, she nods to the left. As she reaches for my hands, she says, “I will guide you. Take my hands and close your eyes.”

  I grab hold and close my eyes.

  “Think of him,” she says. “Picture Takoda inside your mind.”

  I concentrate on his face, his voice. My heart pounds as I experience his smell, the taste of his lips. Through my mind, I feel his skin through my fingers tracing the green and blue swirls on his back. At first nothing happens. All’s quiet, then Moytuya is talking to me from inside my mind.

  “Listen to your heart, Journey.”

  With a deep breath, I relax and concentrate. Little by little, Takoda’s essence intensifies. It’s as if he’s standing next to me.

  “Takoda!” I yell, from inside my mind. “Takoda, answer me!”

  At first I hear just heavy breathing, and I’m not sure if I’m listening to my breathing or to Moytuya. The breathing is sporadic and heavy. Right away, I know it’s Takoda.

  “He’s in trouble,” I say.

  “Through your mind, Journey.”

  “Takoda,” I say. “I’m here my love. Can you answer me?”

  “Journey?”

  “I’m here my love, do you know where you are?”

  “A trailer in the woods. I’m not sure where.”

  “Are you hurt?”

  “Yes, and I think they drugged me.”

  “Sleep, my love,” I reply. “Sleep, I’m coming for you soon.”

  Opening my eyes I stare at Moytuya. “Thank you.”

  “You are welcome,” she replies.

  “Tell me what you heard my mother say on the phone,” I whisper.

  Moytuya glances around the room. I can tell she is afraid. “She said Takoda was expendable, but they could not let the rebels get you.” Moytuya glances down at her hands and frowned. “She said you were more trouble than you are worth.”

  Tears form in my eyes. “I felt something wasn’t right. If she did love us, she would have come to see us as soon as we arrived. It’s been an Earth year. No, I knew something was wrong. Thank you, Moytuya.”

  She nods to the left.

  “No need to apologize,” I whisper. “It is not your fault. You are just the messenger, not the speaker.”

  Moytuya leaves me to my thoughts. It hurts to learn the truth about my mother, but at the same time it was also a relief. I knew something wasn’t right about her. Now I know not to completely trust her or her Council.

  I’m out of the hospital and back home within the week. Aside from a slight limp, I’m almost back to normal. At least my bones don’t ache, and that’s important to me.

  It’s after dinner the following day that I approach Chawlya about Takoda. Knowing I can’t trust her makes it difficult to face her. But I must so I can find Takoda. “What do you know about the people who took him?”

  “Quite a bit, actually, but we don’t know where they have him.”

  “I think I know how to find them,” I say, remembering my vision at the ruins.

  “And how would that be?” my father asks.

  “In my dreams,” I explain. “While on Trials, I was drugged by someone and met great grandmother Shyanna. If I go back, maybe I can find whatever they gave me. I can find Takoda through my mind.”

  “I don’t know about that,” my father says, frowning.

  “Well I do, and I need to do something,” I state. “We have no idea what they’re doing to him.”

  “He can’t be very far,” Abeytu says, from the door.

  “I’m going back to the Ancient City!” I state, not allowing anyone to persuade me differently.

  “No need to go anywhere,” Abeytu says. “I have what you seek.”

  “Absolutely not,” Dad yells, standing next to me. “You are not drugging my daughter.”

  “Honestly, George,” my mother replies, looking stern. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were not the same man I married. You’re afraid of your own shadow these days.”

  “I know what these people can do, Chawlya,” he cries. “I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and so have you.”

  “If I were afraid of everyone or everything that threatens me, I would be nothing but scared all the time,” she argues. “No one threatens my family and lives to talk about it.”

  “What happened to those guards?” I interject hoping to stop their arguing. Studying my mother, I’m wondering whether she’s had acting classes.

  “Well you knocked out two of them all by yourself,” she explains with pride. She winks at me. It’s starting to make me nervous knowing I share DNA with this woman. She’s a little on the freaky side.

  “I can set everything up if you still want to try and find Takoda in your dreams,” Abeytu suggests from the door.

  “Okay, what are you considering?” I ask, not sure who to trust.

  Abeytu points to the lake. I glance out and see several Wanderers praying down by the water.

  “This is sacred land, after all,” he smiles, as he explains. “It would be such a waste not to use its hidden power.”

  I glance at my mother and she nods, but my father looks like he’s going to faint.

  “George,” my mom says, patting him on the back and giving him a quick hug. “Journey will be fine. She’s taking her own path and there’s nothing we can do. It started with her Trials and it won’t end there.” She kisses him and he smiles a crooked little grin.

  “Okay,” I say. “What do we do first?”

  It takes forever for the sun to finally set behind the tall mountains. As Dad starts a fire near the lake, Abeytu collects pillows and blankets from the house for everyone. Fretoda arrives with Freya walking by his side. Makayah runs to greet them.

  Several hours after sunset, the blazing fire is hot. The sweet aroma seems to be calming everyone. Abeytu waits until we’re all seated and settled. He tosses a couple of new logs onto the fire. I watch as the flames shoot much higher than I expected.

  “The logs were prepared for this,” he whispers to just me. “I need you to pay attention to what I am about to say, Journey. I will hand you a small bowl. Drink what is in it. You will feel lightheaded. The Wanderers will chant to keep your spirit tethered to us, to this realm. If you get lost on your travel, simply start talking. We will bring you home.”

  I nod.

  “If at any time you see or hear anything that frightens you, come back and…”

  “Talk to you?”

  “Exactly, if you are in serious trouble…”

  “How can I get into trouble in a dream?” I ask.

  “Was not your great grandmother real to you? Was any of that a dream?”

  “It didn’t feel like a dream,” I reply, understanding. “So maybe…”

  “The drug is very strong. Drink all of it as quickly as you can. Your mouth will go numb first, but that is normal. Get it all down before your throat go
es numb or you’ll choke. Once you are there, call to Takoda. Freya will help you find him.”

  She smiles when I glance at her. She seems young and frail. I’m not sure how she’s going to help me. Makayah waves and blows me a kiss. I blow one back.

  Abeytu asks, “Do you have any questions, Journey?”

  “What do I do when I find him?”

  “Start describing where he is the best you can. Your spoken voice will come through to us.”

  “Okay, let’s do it.” I’m determined to find Takoda no matter what I’m required to do.

  Two bowls of red liquid sit before Abeytu on a small tray. He hands one to Freya and the other to me.

  “Wait, she’s taking the drug too?” I’m not sure if this is such a great idea. “She’s only a kid.”

  “She may be young,” my mother explains, “but she is a full-blooded Swetaachata, and she’s a Gemanaga. Her mind and body is made for this. She’ll be fine. You just take care of yourself.”

  “Gemanaga?” I ask. “What’s a Gemanaga?”

  “I’ll take care of her,” Freya says, ignoring my questions. “Don’t worry, Journey. I’ve done this many times.”

  “That gives me the warm fuzzies,” I muse.

  “Are you ready?” Abeytu asks and I nod. “As I bring the bowl to your mouth, drink as quickly as you can and do not stop.”

  Abeytu lifts both bowls simultaneously and guides them to our lips while he stares straight ahead, chanting. The Wanderers also chant a soft deep melody that soothes my nerves, a little. I gulp down the tart nectar. My tongue goes numb but I continue until all the liquid is gone. A Wanderer sits behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. Another does the same for Freya. Suddenly, I’m floating high above the fire. I reach out to touch the flames that were only a few inches away moments before, but I can no longer feel the heat. A tree limb brushes my arm and I reach for it. I grab the leaves and drop them into the fire. Instantly they explode into the flames. My mom and dad stare into the fire. What are they looking at? I can see me and Freya sitting in the circle. Our eyes are closed and we’re not moving. Is this what it’s like to die? Can this be real?

  “Our bodies are where we left them,” Freya says floating next to me. “It is our souls that have left. But don’t worry, Abeytu won’t let anything happen to them. We are protected until we return.”

  “How long can we be like this?” I ask.

  “Time does not matter here, Journey,” she says, taking my hand. “Come, let us find my brother.”

  We fly away allowing our spirits to be drawn to where our inner minds take us. Our journey is now guided by our inner selves—our souls.

  “I feel sick,” I whisper.

  “Close your eyes,” she suggests, as we continue to soar through the sky.

  Closing my eyes does help make the trip bearable. I’m standing in our destroyed campsite. The tent is beyond repair now, the fabric’s sliced in several places and the poles are bent. Our blanket is crumpled and covered with leaves and dirt. Tears fill my eyes as I remember.

  “Takoda!” I yell. All remains quiet.

  Something in the grass catches my eye. It’s the draping from Takoda.

  “Did Takoda give that to you?” Freya asks.

  I nod.

  She giggles. “A man gives a draping to the woman he plans to union. It is our custom. Takoda loves you, Journey.” She attaches the draping to my hair. “There, now you are complete. You are one of us.” She kisses and hugs me.

  I dry my eyes on the sleeve of my old sweatshirt.

  “Takoda!” Freya yells. “Takoda, where are you? Journey, help me search for him.”

  “How?” I ask.

  “Look for clues, what do you remember?”

  “I remember lots of blood. He was dragged through here.”

  “Dragged?”

  “Over here,” I say, guiding her.

  Freya pushes the leaves aside and smells the ground. “He was here!” She examines the soil. “They went this way.”

  “How do you know?”

  Freya stops and pulls me to the ground.

  “Here, touch the soil.” Placing my hand over Takoda’s blood sends a sensation through me. I’m not sure what it is, but I know Takoda is lying down.

  His blood is not red but a deep purple. It almost kills me to see his precious life force spilled and left to rot. I reach out and as soon as my hand touches Takoda’s blood, my soul merges with his, and can see the blood tracks. I can find him now. Vibrations reverberate up my fingers. I clearly taste, sense, smell, and hear Takoda.

  “Takoda?” I whisper.

  “Journey?” He is weak and I know I must hurry.

  Freya and I stare at each other and smile. We found him, but where exactly is he, we do not know.

  “We follow the trail,” Freya says.

  The sense is strong and it doesn’t take us long to determine which way to go. We hover for a brief moment before floating toward Takoda.

  “Wait!” I yell, yanking us to a stop. “We need to remember the way so we take others later. We must go slowly so we remember.”

  Freya nods. We come to the main road and I glance around nervously.

  “I know this place,” I say.

  We continue past the train station. I make mental notes and remember what Abeytu said. Talk through my mouth. “Can you hear me?” I ask.

  “Yes,” Abeytu replies.

  “We know where he is,” I explain. “But I don’t know how I know.”

  “That is good. What do you see?” Abeytu asks, coaching me through this nightmare.

  “We’re following his sense. It left a trail.”

  “That is good,” Abeytu answers. “Can you describe where you are?”

  “We’re on the highway heading away from the train station,” I answer. “I’ve never been this far before. Large white buildings, we’re passing white buildings.”

  “The civic center,” he continues. “I know where you are, sweetheart, don’t panic. I’m following you.”

  “You’re following me?”

  Turning around to see Abeytu, I almost run into a tree. But Freya grabs my arm and pulls me with her. “Pay attention, Journey!”

  “I’m not physically with you.” Abeytu laughs a little. “I know where you are. I’ve been there before.”

  “Oh, okay. We’re crossing a very long bridge. This thing is huge! Is this an ocean? No, just a big lake.”

  “Keep talking to me,” Abeytu says. It is good hearing his voice. I feel grounded, secure.

  “We’re slowing down, there’s a sign,” I say, nervously. “I can’t read it. It’s in another language!”

  “What does the sign look like?” he asks.

  “It has white letters or symbols.”

  “I know the sign,” he says.

  I sigh with relief as we soar. “We’re on a dirt road,” I continue, “it’s leading toward a mountain. We’re passing farms. Lots of trees.”

  “You’re doing good, Journey,” he says.

  “We’re turning again.” I try to find a landmark, but can’t, and panic. I glance around for anything that will remind me where to turn. But nothing. Then I see it—a broken log pushed against a tree. I tell Abeytu. “Write down to make a right turn at a log. It’s more of a path really than a road. We’re slowing, there’s light ahead…and trailers! Takoda said he was in a trailer.”

  “Watch yourselves, others can hear you and some can see you.”

  “Great,” I whisper glancing at Freya.

  We slow and hide behind the trees. I need to get a good view of where we are.

  “There’s several trailers, lots of men wearing camouflage holding rifles… looks like Army rifles. Lots of big trucks. They have dogs… big black dogs. Wait, one’s heading this way.”

  The dog walks straight for us, growling.

  “What is it, boy?” a guard asks, following the dog.

  The dog comes right up to me and sniffs. His deep bark startles me and
makes me fall onto my butt. A twig cracks and the guard grabs his gun.

  “Who’s there?” The man’s pointing his gun directly into my face. I freeze.

  “They can’t see us,” Freya whispers. “But the dogs can sense us. They know we are here. But guards do not. We need to be careful.”

  Freya takes my hand and we float upward. I’m not ready to leave and try to pull away from her.

  “I need to see if he’s here,” I plead.

  “We will,” she says. She pats my back, I guess she’s trying to calm me. But it’s not working. “We need to get away from those dogs.”

  I nod and follow. We hide high in the trees for some time before we feel safe to head for the trailers.

  “The doors are blocked by the dogs,” I surmise, frowning.

  “We are spirits, Journey, we do not need a door or window to enter.”

  “Oh?” If I cannot use a door, how will I get in?

  “Concentrate or you’ll get stuck inside the structure. Get through it and out as quickly as you can. Watch me.”

  Freya sticks her head into a trailer and pulls it back out.

  Now if that wasn’t the weirdest thing ever. “Got it,” I say. “You take those over there, I’ll take these.” I’m not sure about sticking my head through a wall.

  The first trailer is huge and filthy. Holding my breath, I fling my head at the trailer knowing I’m going to bang the crap out of myself, but my head falls through the structure. I feel nothing. There’s men playing cards and drinking inside. The next trailer is empty, as is the third. The last is secluded and has one guard sleeping near the steps. I float to the back and step inside, body and all. Takoda’s asleep on a bed. He’s bloody and dirty, but alive.

  “Takoda,” I whisper. My hand goes right through him. “Daggone it,” I say more loudly than I meant to.

  “What is wrong?” Abeytu asks.

  I’d forgotten about everyone else in my excitement at seeing Takoda. “I found him, but I can’t wake him. I can’t touch him! What do I do?”

  “Use your mind. Talk to him through your mind,” he suggests.

  I concentrate and feel Takoda’s mind touch mine. “Journey? Is that you?”

  “Takoda, my sweet!” I yell. “Takoda, we found you. Others are coming.”

  “Better hurry,” he says, groggily. “They are moving me in the morning.”