Save Karyn

by Karyn Bosnak

  For Curtis Court, a show that our bosses said was on the brink of renewal, NATPE should have been a big deal this year. But King World decided not to bring James Curtis to the convention, which was not a good sign. The staff was a bit upset. We had all worked so hard during January to try to keep the show on the air, and even before February sweeps began, we felt like they were giving up. Instead, King World seemed to be focusing their attention on a new talk show they had coming out in the fall, The Ananda Lewis Show. Ananda was at NATPE, and King World was really promoting their new host.

  At the end of the week, a bit depressed because I felt like I was on the brink of losing my job, Dan called and asked me to go to a New York Rangers game. It really cheered me up.

  “Who are the Rangers?” I asked.

  “It’s hockey. They play at Madison Square Garden,” he said, laughing at me.

  “Oh yes! That sounds fun! I like hockey!” I said. Hockey is fun. My friend Jeff played hockey in high school, and I always went to cheer him on. I didn’t pay attention that closely or anything, but I always seemed to have a good time. So I liked hockey!

  “Sounds good. Why don’t I pick you up at work around six thirty P.M., and then we’ll share a cab to Madison Square Garden together.”

  “Perfect,” I said.

  That Friday night, Dan met me in front of my work building and we went to the hockey game together. I had not been to Madison Square Garden yet and was excited. Sports aside, Madonna and Cher had performed there!

  Dan and I sat down in our seats, which were “Mercedes seats,” he said, and therefore really close to the ice. Other than men in masks hitting a puck with a stick, I wasn’t too sure what was going on, so during the first quarter Dan did his best to explain it to me. He reviewed the basic rules, and told me that the Rangers were playing a team called the Islanders, which was also a New York team. I paid attention to the game as long as I could, but lost interest about five minutes later. I quickly moved on to my favorite thing to do when I’m stuck at a sporting event and bored, I played the “Guess who’s here today?” game.

  Naomi and I like to think that we were the originators of the “Guess who’s here today?” game. We developed it while bored out of our minds one night at a Chicago Bulls game. When you live in Chicago and you come across Bulls tickets, you have to go, even if you don’t like sports. Well, I mean you had to go when Michael Jordan was still there and they were good. And that night he was there, and they were good, but we were still bored. So we developed this game to pass the time. The premise of the game is simple. You find people in the crowd who look like famous people, and then say to your friend, “Hey, guess who’s here today?”

  Your friend then says, “Who?”

  And then you point out the person and say, “The Queen Mother,” or whomever it is that the person looks like. It’s good for a good belly laugh or two. And once you get started it’s hard to stop. And that damn Queen Mother always shows up at the same places I am. She’s everywhere! A slight variation to the game is to tell your friend who’s there, but not point them out, and instead make your friend find them. That’ll even get you a bigger laugh sometimes.

  Tonight, after scouring the crowd, I discovered that Richard Simmons was there and decided to let Dan know.

  “Hey, guess who’s here today?” I said.

  “Who?” he asked, looking at me, thinking I was serious.

  “Richard Simmons,” I said, laughing and pointing to a man a few rows away with big puffy curly hair wearing a hot pink T-shirt. Dan looked at the guy and let out a little fake laugh and then continued to watch the game. He didn’t seem to like my game. Or maybe he just didn’t get it. I decided to try again.

  After scouring the crowd again, I discovered that none other than Michael Jackson himself was among us as well.

  “Hey, look. Michael Jackson’s here too today,” I said, pointing to a pretty white woman with a pointy nose and jet-black hair sitting next to us. This time Dan just nodded and continued to watch the game. Ugh. I was bored. And he was no fun.

  By halftime I was all hockeyed out. I sat in my chair and looked down at my manicure and realized that I needed a new one. And I was cold. It was cold in there. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn my sheer Theory shirt to a hockey game, but it was so darn cute that I couldn’t resist. And I thought velvet pants would be warmer than they were. I know the plan was to return the other unworn outfit from last weekend to Bloomingdale’s, but once I tried it on, I just couldn’t. And besides I already had the perfect shoes, so what was the point?

  Just as things were getting painful, the end of the third quarter finally came and I was excited that there was just one more to go. I tried my best to look like I was having fun, but I just wasn’t. Just then, Dan stood up and grabbed his coat. Oh, I was so excited that he wanted to leave early!

  “Oh, are we leaving early?” I asked.

  “No, Karyn, the game’s over. There’s only three periods in hockey.”

  “Oh, really?” I said with excitement. I knew hockey was my favorite sport for a reason! It’s fast!

  After the game, Dan and I went to a local bar to listen to a band and had a nice time, but I knew that he wasn’t the one. I mean, he didn’t like the “Guess who’s here today?” game. And seeing as that’s one of my favorite pastimes, I just couldn’t see how things could work out. At the end of the night, I hopped in a cab and went home by myself.

  YOU ARE DISMISSED

  As the February ratings began to come in, any hope we had for a renewal flew out the window. There was no change in the numbers at all. Although King World wouldn’t tell us immediately that the show was going to be canceled, all the signs pointed to yes. Our show budgets were cut in half. The secretary even started receiving faxes confirming time slots for the upcoming Ananda Lewis Show that was going to air in the fall, and several of those time slots happened to be existing Curtis Court ones. Soon, our boss stopped coming into the studio during tapings, and our senior producer, Jodi, began to take over.

  Most producers for daytime talk shows are under contract for a certain amount of years with the show they work for. For example, I was under contract with Curtis Court for two years. That meant I couldn’t quit and get another job at a competing talk show while that contract was valid.

  But those two years are broken up into periods called “option periods.” An option period gives the company I work for a chance every so often to cancel my contract. At Curtis Court, my option was up on April 6, and the company had to let me know if they were renewing it at least one month in advance of that date. But by March 7, they claimed that they still weren’t sure if they were going to renew Curtis Court. So, our bosses asked the staff if we would give them two more weeks to decide. I said yes, but not everyone did. If Curtis Court wasn’t renewed, then I wanted to work at Ananda, so I wanted to stay in good with the bosses.

  Finally, two weeks later, in the middle of taping cases, our boss called an emergency meeting in the conference room. Just like when the initial less-than-stellar ratings came back, there weren’t any balloons or cake at this meeting either. The news probably wasn’t good.

  Everyone came upstairs to the conference room, including James Curtis. The crew told the litigants there were technical problems so they patiently waited in the studio, having no idea that the show was getting canceled upstairs.

  Mary came in and broke the news to us. She said that despite a strong effort, the numbers just weren’t good enough. It was sad. I looked around at our small staff and knew that we had all worked so hard. I think that when you put that much effort into a show and it doesn’t succeed, you feel defeated. And it was hard not to feel sorry for James Curtis. He was so nice that we all wanted the show to succeed, if not for ourselves and our jobs, then for him.

  James Curtis, the crew, and a few producers went back to the studio to finish taping for the day. And at the end, after the last case, he made his ruling and banged his gavel one final time.

  “
You are dismissed,” he said.

  Later that afternoon, everyone on the staff tried to figure out what to do next. People started faxing out their resumes and calling friends. And some people, including me, talked to Mary about the possibility of working at The Ananda Lewis Show.

  On the money front, I would thankfully be getting my tax return back any day, which would help me out for a couple of months. But $1,800/month rent was steep and I couldn’t afford to be unemployed for too long. Later that afternoon I knocked on Mary’s door.

  “Hey, come in, Karyn,” she said, still kind of melancholy. I sat down and we started to talk.

  “You know, it’s upsetting about this show,” she said. “I really thought it was good.”

  “I know, I did too,” I said.

  “You are a very good producer, Karyn. Better than some at this show that have been doing it for years. You are creative and pay attention to detail. You have a good eye,” she said.

  “Thank you again,” I said. “I’ve learned so much from you in this past year, and I just want to let you know that I’d be really interested in working on Ananda.”

  “I’d love to have you there too. I think it’s going to be a very high quality program. First class all the way. Think about the old Oprah show. Not as celebrity driven as it is today, but when she tackled issues. And then mix that in with some fun shows. That’s what I think we are going for.”

  “That is so much what I want,” I said. “I want to make a difference. I like the court genre, but I hate the fact that everyone is always at odds with each other. There’s always conflict. I want to make feel-good television. I want to make people smile!” I said, laughing.

  “I love that about you! You are so refreshing. And you have great ideas,” she said. I felt very honored to have Mary compliment me. “I’d love for you to be a producer at Ananda. However, I’m not going to be the executive producer of the show, a man named Jose is. So you’ll have to meet him too.”

  “Sounds great! I look forward to it,” I said.

  The following week, Jose flew into New York from Los Angeles and started to meet with potential staff. Jose was also semifamous in the talk show world. Like Mary, he was old school, and had been in daytime talk for a while. That week, I met with him briefly. He told me that he heard a lot of good things about me, and I was pleased. The possibility of a job at Ananda looked good, but I wouldn’t find out if I definitely had a job there for a few more weeks.

  The following week we had our wrap party, and that Friday was my last day of work. As I packed up my desk and headed out the door, I turned around and said good-bye to my short cube, a place that had felt like a second home since I’d moved here.

  THAT WEEKEND, Naomi came to town for a bachelorette party and invited me to come along as well. A friend of hers who lived in New York was getting married. Since our Plaza slumber party, Naomi had come back to New York for business on several occasions, but always chose to stay at a different hotel each time. We had slumber parties in some of the nicest hotels in the city! This time, however, she had to stay with me.

  The bachelorette party was more like a bachelorette weekend. On Friday night we all went to see a play called Naked Boys Singing. And it was just that—a bunch of boys singing buck-naked onstage. It was so funny! They were completely naked. From head to toe! We could hardly control our laughter as they sang songs like “The Bliss of a Bris” and “Perky Little Porn Star.”

  On Saturday night we went to dinner at a restaurant called Ruby Foo’s, and then went out dancing. I’ve never been one for cheesy bachelorette parties, but I had so much fun! All the girls were so nice, and I had some new friends. And I even made some money! By the end of the night we were all dancing on top of the bar at Hogs & Heifers, and guys were giving us money! I felt like a go-go dancer. And I liked it!

  It was so nice to let loose. I’d just lost my job, and while I was hoping I’d get another, nothing was for sure. The girl who organized the party was named Jane, and she was very cool. And at the end of the night she asked me if I wanted to be a part of a share in a house on Fire Island for the summer. A share! Yes! This is what all New Yorkers do! And I had heard about Fire Island and how much fun it was supposed to be. I’d have to figure out a way to come up with about $1,200, but I could do it. I quickly said yes!

  That Sunday I slept all day. Naomi got up and packed up her stuff and went home, and I barely moved. We hadn’t gotten home until six in the morning. When I woke up Monday, I had a voice mail message. I didn’t even hear the phone ring. I pushed the button to listen.

  “Hi, Karyn, this is Jose. I just want to tell you that we’d like to offer you a position at The Ananda Lewis Show as a producer. So congratulations, and give me a call so we can start negotiating your contract.” I got the job! I did it! I was on to bigger and better things! And a bigger paycheck, which I needed.

  That morning I just lay in bed and smiled for a while. I felt like my whole life was starting to come together. I felt like I was on the brink of something big, but I just didn’t know what it was. And I couldn’t wait to find out!

  The Fall

  JUNE 2001

  THE PREPARATION

  It’s funny how something that you expect to be one of the best experiences of your life can turn out to be one of the worst. I was really looking forward to working at The Ananda Lewis Show. It was going to be the new fresh show in daytime—the new Oprah. And I was getting in on the ground floor—the launch.

  The two months after Curtis Court prior to Ananda were my preparation months. Since I had never produced a solid hour of daytime television before, I was a bit nervous, to say the least. So I made it a primary concern to use the two months to relax and focus.

  Every day I woke up and read three papers, the New York Times, USA Today, and of course my favorite, the New York Post. I wanted to make sure I knew what was going on in the world. And, to get more acquainted with the city, I made sure to eat at least one meal a day at a restaurant in my Zagat guide I had never been to. I don’t know exactly how this prepared me for work, but somehow I thought that the more city savvy I was, the better a producer I would be.

  In addition to becoming news and food savvy, I also decided to upgrade my life, so to speak. In the electronics department, I got rid of my old desktop computer and bought a new laptop. I also got rid of my old cell phone and bought a new fancy Motorola StarTac. It looked so important, and I was going to be important! I also replaced my stereo, which I thought had broken. But when I gave it to my doorman Edson, he told me that he got it to work just fine. But it was too late to return the new one, so I just let him keep it.

  In the apartment department, I finally finished painting my walls a lovely shade of yellow. I also had Spiro the super hang a white wrought-iron-and-crystal chandelier that I’d bought. It looked just like the people’s across the street. It was fancy! And I finally broke down and bought a pretty blue floral quilted fabric shower curtain for $120 that I saw in the Ballard Designs catalog. I had been wanting it for a long time.

  In the beauty and health department, I left the nazi bikini-wax lady and instead opted to try the infamous J. Sisters salon. The price was the same, the wax was the same, and the pubicle cubicles were the same, but I didn’t have to get on all fours for them to get “that area.” I just had to lie there and stick my leg up high in the air. It seemed a little more “user friendly.” I also got a few massages and facials, which in addition to my La Prairie products made my skin glow! Furthermore, I did a weeklong colon cleanse and even had a professional colonic. A colonic is a procedure I read about in a magazine where a technician flushes out your colon with water. It’s really gross actually. Apparently Princess Diana used to get them done on a regular basis. But once was enough for me. I also upgraded in the hair department, and left Red Salon for Louis Licari.

  In the wardrobe department, I upgraded my big plastic Gucci sunglasses to a more streamlined pair of metal-rimmed Gucci sunglasses. I also cleaned out my cl
oset and gave a few bags of clothes to Catholic Charities. I replaced what I gave away with some new casual clothes that I bought at Abercrombie & Fitch. I also bought a few new suits and some nice pairs of shoes to wear on show days.

  But my favorite upgrade of all was in the purse department. As soon as I saw the new Gucci bucket purse at Bergdorf Goodman, I just knew I had to have it! The outside was covered with the signature Gucci Gs, and it had a black leather bottom and two black leather straps. It was the upgraded version of the Gucci bucket purse that my mom bought me in high school after I made the cheerleading squad! In my opinion, it was the mother lode of Gucci purses! Sure it was $500, but the price was justifiable because I could fit a folder in it. So it was kind of like I was getting a purse for $250 and a workbag for $250—except they were just combined into one. And two purses for $250 each wasn’t that bad.

  I also got a lot of visiting out of the way. I flew back to Chicago to see my family, took a trip to Minneapolis to see my sister and her husband, and made a trip to Los Angeles to see my friend Tracy. I was a busy, busy fifth B those two months.

  Yes, I spent a lot of money, but I had just worked out a contract for my new job and had negotiated a pretty decent salary of $2,000 a week. I was pretty happy with it, even though it was kind of low for a talk show producer. Most make about $2,300 a week and upward. But it was my first talk show and I was a new producer, and once again I decided to take the lower salary for the experience. But even taking the lower salary got me a $26,000 a year raise, and that was enough to cover a few months of being frivolous.