Ministry Protocol: Thrilling Tales of the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences

by Tee Morris

  *****

  In the still of night, Flowerdew closed his eyes and concentrated, listening to the sounds of the night from his hiding place. Snores drifted in from the camp, bats screeched overhead, fish sloshed in the water, but there was no crying. Opening his eyes, he stepped out into the moonlight and began to stalk further down the river. Not even the wind seemed brave enough to blow.

  Suddenly, a crack of sound burst from Flowerdew’s pocket. “Sir! Sir, it is here, near Zeke’s cabin!”

  “I am coming. Do not let her see you!” he replied as he dashed up the riverside.

  The glow of the camp just came into view, along with two figures in the distance. One of them was dressed in white.

  “I ain’t got no idea what you saying lady, but you sure look good enough to eat,” came drifting across the night.

  Pumping his legs harder, Flowerdew shouted out to the two figures, “Zeke! Run! She is the one killing people!”

  Zeke slowly turned in his direction, his stance unsteady. “What are you talking about, Flowerpeddles?” he slurred. “This little lady ain’t gonna hurt nobody.”

  Flowerdew could see La Llorona make a motion consistent of pulling back her hair, revealing her face to the inebriated Zeke. The man staggered back as he started screaming in terror. She was on top of him in a blink of an eye, her hands wrapped around his neck. Water started to pour from Zeke’s mouth as his body convulsed in her grasp.

  Pulling the ripcord on the vibro-blade machete, Flowerdew ran for Zeke, watching him turn darker shades of blue while grasping at the hands of La Llorona. He only managed to tear up his own throat, which was getting bloodier and bloodier as his hands passed through hers with each flail. Hearing the blade idle and ready, Flowerdew swung the blade at La Llorona. She released Zeke, darting away from Flowerdew. Zeke fell to the ground like a sack of bricks, gasping for air as the water spewing out of his mouth vanished. Shattering the night with a wild, primal cry of rage, La Llorona lashed out at Flowerdew in a flurry of strikes. Despite the blade blocking her blows, he found himself pushed further and further back each time. Not wanting a repeat of the previous evening, Flowerdew knocked away one of her swipes, then thrust forward, twisting his weapon to put the blade right in the line of her hand. The machete opened her hand like a clamshell, spraying a thick, black ooze in all directions as she recoiled away.

  Crying, she grasped her hand, her disfigured face—in some odd fashion—softening. “Why? Why are you doing this to me?” she pleaded. “He—he is the one to blame! He left me! He left me after I took away the children. Why does he not love me?” she wailed as she wept through her hands.

  “This man is not the one you love,” Flowerdew said, wielding the machete before him, keeping her at bay. “The man you loved is dead, and has been for a hundred years. You need to stop—”

  His own plea was cut off as La Llorona dashed forward and slashed her fingers across his face. Flowerdew managed to turn his head, though La Llorona’s fingers cut him from brow to jaw on the right side of his face, and filled his skull with a bizarre prickling. Staggering back, Flowerdew tripped over the uneven ground and stumbled backward.

  Catching himself on a cabin, Flowerdew looked up to see La Llorona over Zeke again. “Soon we will be together forever, my love,” she whispered as she straddled his chest and reached for his throat.

  Pushing off the wall, Flowerdew lunged forward, slashing upward with the blade. La Llorona released another blood-curdling scream as her claws flew away from her body, disappearing into the darkness. Howling like the winds of hell, a pair of black stumps where her hands were, she dashed for Flowerdew so quickly he was unable to react.

  The machete was struck from his hand and he felt himself pinned against the cabin behind him. He felt the bloody stumps on either side of his throat, closing like a pair of pincers.

  Water started to fill his mouth.

  Just as he began to reflect on his life, Flowerdew unceremoniously met with the ground. With his ears ringing, Flowerdew gasped for breath, his eyes coming up to a gruesome macabre sight.

  Cricket stood before La Llorona with arms outstretched, begging for her embrace. “Get up, sir,” the boy yelled, terror filling his eyes as she walked toward him. “I do not know how long she will be fooled.” He then looked back at La Llorona. “¿Dónde has estado mi madre? Te he echado de menos.”

  The monster lumbered forward, weeping once more.

  Flowerdew picked up the vibro-blade, but paused. How was this having an effect when the “Crackshots” did not? She felt the pain. That much was obvious on account of her screams.

  Just a moment. Screams. Crying during attack from the vibro-blade. She must possess a form responsive to noise.

  Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the lodestone resonator. “Cricket, pull out the communicator and push the button now!” As Cricket pulled out his own resonator, Flowerdew jammed the vibro-blade into the stylus, releasing a high-pitched screech. La Llorona began to whip around to look at Flowerdew, her face wracking with pain as the two resonators amplified each other over the short distance, the sound reaching higher and higher, louder and louder. La Llorona wailed as her body tore apart from the inside out. She lashed at her own body as if there were insects crawling all over her. Her body shredded before them like paper trapped in a heavy water current, different pieces of her drifting away into the night.

  The two lodestones shattered in a shower of shards and sparks. Stopping the machete, Flowerdew pulled himself to his feet and stumbled over to Cricket. “What were you thinking? You could have got yourself killed!”

  “I figured she kidnaps children because she misses hers. Maybe she would want them back. Felt likez sound tinkin’ at dat time,” replied Cricket.

  “Very astute. Thank you. I do not think she will be bothering us anymore. Let’s check on Zeke.” Turning around, Flowerdew promptly fell to the ground, the last thought flashing in his mind before smacking the ground being, “Oh bloody hell, this is inconvenient.”