This is Not a Double Date

by Grace Risata

  I blinked a few times and nodded my head, clearly stunned at the words that just came out of his mouth.

  Holy shit.

  Not only wasn’t it a mistake on his part, but he wanted more? I must be better than I thought!

  “Okay,” Roman ordered. “I’m going to turn on the black light once you hit the light switch. Hopefully we’ll get another clue.”

  He was right. Once the darkness came, the ceiling instantly lit up with letters.

  Rewsna eht si emit kcolc eht.

  “I know it! I know it!” I squeaked in excitement. “I’m a whiz at reading backwards. Answer the is time clock the!”

  “What? That doesn’t make sense,” he replied in bewilderment. “Ah, I get it. You’re reading each word backwards, but you have to read the whole sentence backwards. The clock time is the answer.”

  “The clock on the wall was ten after twelve. Put one-two-one-zero into the tote bin padlock,” I suggested.

  He tried, but it didn’t work.

  “Can you just pick the door lock?” I asked in frustration, pointing to the exit that probably led us to freedom. “We don’t have time to figure out the tote bin code. What if nothing is in the fucking tote anyway and we’re wasting our time? What if the key is hiding in one of the shoes and it’s a giant diversion designed to make us lose? I’m not sticking my hand in stinky shoes!”

  Yes, my voice rose in panic as the stupid automated recording informed us we only had three minutes left. I can’t help it. I’m competitive. Defeat gives me hives.

  “What if…no…nevermind. That couldn’t be it,” Roman pondered aloud.

  “Tell me! We’re running out of options!”

  “What if you’re right…this is all just a waste of time? What if the strange key we found in the Shakespeare book really fits in the door lock?”

  My eyes grew wide as I fumbled around in my pocket and handed over the key. I swear my heart nearly pounded out of my chest as it slid right in the lock…and nothing happened.

  “Nope. Won’t turn. What’s next?” he asked.

  I really wanted to suggest abandoning all hope of escaping and just go back to kissing instead, but it seemed inappropriate. Then a thought hit me and I started jumping up and down like a freak.

  “The sentence about the clock was backwards. The clock time was twelve ten. What if you put in zero one two one? That would be twelve ten backwards!” I screamed, getting way too excited for something that might not even work.

  Roman turned the padlock with the numbers I suggested, it clicked right open, and revealed another smaller lockbox requiring a key.

  “Shit!” he mumbled, quickly trying the useless key from the Shakespeare book that hadn’t served a purpose for anything thus far. Miraculously it worked on the smaller box and the lid popped right up to award us with yet another key.

  “You have one minute until the game ends…fifty-nine seconds…fifty-eight seconds…”

  The obnoxious automated voice began her final countdown and I literally felt like it was leading to the nuclear apocalypse. If the door wasn’t opened in the next minute, then we might all be incinerated.

  “Hurry!” I shouted as Roman fumbled with the key to the small door. After putting it in upside down, he regained his composure and finally got the damn thing open. The sight of the hallway beyond was a welcome relief.

  Roman grabbed my hand and led me to safety with a whopping twenty seconds left on the clock.

  “We did it! We won!” I raised my hands in triumph as he picked me up and hoisted me on his shoulders in the style of a boxing champ that knocked out his opponent and earned the world heavyweight title.

  Unfortunately my hard fought victory dance was short lived. Cara and Tyler followed us out of the closet about ten seconds later with a look of pride as though they had actually helped in some way.

  “That was so much fun,” Cara panted breathlessly with a shit-eating grin on her face. “I knew I’d love an escape room!”

  Tyler was equally exuberant, face flushed from the bedroom workout he’d just completed.

  “Why are you two jumping around like lunatics?” he asked, glaring at our celebratory pose. “It’s just a dumb game. Calm down. You’re acting childish.”

  “I’m sorry, Ty,” Roman replied, instantly setting me back on my feet. “Are we embarrassing you? Should I be one of the cool kids and fuck a girl in plain sight so I can check ‘be a man-whore’ off my bucket list? Is that what you want?”

  “What I want,” his cousin replied coldly, “is for you to know your place. Do you need a reminder of where you came from and where you’d be right now if I hadn’t stepped in to help you out? Because I think you do…”

  “I don’t need shit from you,” Roman snapped. “Let’s go. I’m done here.”

  And just like that, the night took a complete nose dive. The four of us marched back to the car in awkward silence. On the short drive back to my apartment, Roman didn’t utter one word. I tried to make small talk at least twice, but I gave up when it became apparent that he wasn’t interested.

  This whole ‘evening ending badly’ routine was starting to become a trend… and I didn’t like it one bit.

  Tyler pulled into my parking lot and I had no choice but to get out of the car while muttering a polite, “Thank you for the lovely evening,” when I really wanted to drag Roman out with me and ask what the hell was going on between him and his cousin.

  I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever see him again. I can’t imagine either one of the men wanted to continue going on double dates that may or may not have even been dates at all. There was palpable animosity between the two, and it was only getting worse. I definitely planned on calling Cara the next day and seeing if she had any insight into the situation.

  So strange indeed.

  Chapter Eight

  Andi – Thursday Night

  I barely got anything done at work today because I kept obsessing over the kiss that rocked my world. It’s not every day a lady gets kissed like that. Like the man wants to eat her alive, like the world is ending and we were in a hurry to get as much done as possible before the big boom, like Roman just closed his eyes and took what he wanted…and I eagerly rose to the challenge.

  Well, okay, if we’re being technical, he’s the one that rose to the occasion. It was impossible not to feel his rock hard manhood pressing up against me when we were stuck in such close quarters. Not that I’m complaining. If that little closet had been half the size, it still would have been fine by me. I’ll take him any way I can get him.

  I just wish I could get to the bottom of the mystery as to why he ran so hot and cold. One minute we’re making out like our lives depended on it, and the next thing I know he’s lost his ability to communicate in the car on the way back to my house. It’s not like the kiss ended on a bad note…quite the contrary. I’ve played his words over and over in my head on a constant loop.

  “We don’t have the time to give your body the attention it deserves. Let’s continue this later.”

  After the thirty-seventh time of re-imagining the scene, his line somehow became a bit more eloquent.

  “I want to make love to you more than I want my next breath. Let’s get out of here, go back to my place, and rip each other’s clothes off while listening to sexy music. I will feast upon your naked body, we’ll get so wild that the Kama Sutra will devote entire chapters to our carnal activities, and then after you’re finally sated, I’ll hold you all night long in my arms. Nothing would bring me more pleasure than cooking you breakfast the next morning and making sure your day starts as well as your night ended.”

  Yes, I have quite an active imagination. What can I say? Go big or go home. There’s no point in having a fantasy if it’s not going to be epic. I highly doubt that women sit around staring off into space while daydreaming about ‘Mr. Right’ remembering to take out the garbage and pay the electric bill.

  Sigh. Reality sucks sometimes.

  In case you
were wondering, yes, I was currently sitting at my kitchen table and paying bills. It was necessary to clean up some of the clutter around this place before my party tomorrow.

  RING. RING.

  Ah, there was one of the guests calling me right now. Unfortunately, it was not Cara. I hadn’t gotten the chance to discuss anything with her, because the work-a-holic was stuck pulling a double shift due to a co-worker being a no show. All I got was a quick text promising that we’d catch up as soon as she had the chance. There was no mention of the fact that she had the nerve to do God-knows-what in the escape room prop bed while an audience was forced to listen to her activities. Some people had no shame. No shame at all. Whatever. If she chooses to live her life a certain way, who was I to judge? Okay…I could judge all I wanted, but I’d never have the nerve to call her out on it. I’m such a wimp.

  RING RING.

  “Hello,” I answered. “What’s up, Buttercup?”

  “Not a thing, Chicken Wing,” Hailey replied. “Speaking of chicken though, what’s on the menu for dad’s party?”

  One of the things I loved about my sister was her ability to be as corny as I was. It’s rare in life to find a person that doesn’t fault you for being yourself. Hailey and I were two dorky peas in a nerdy pod. As a matter of fact, she was probably even worse than me.

  “Not sure what’s on the menu. I stopped by the party store and bought a bunch of ‘over the hill’ decorations for my apartment,” I explained. “I’m in charge of ambience for the whole soiree, but mom is in charge of food. How did you get off scot free with no assignment?”

  “I’m the baby of the family. Therefore I’m just required to show up, hopefully on time.”

  This statement caused me to giggle snort into my cell phone. Hailey had never been one minute late for anything in her entire life. The girl was even born two weeks premature. She was about as responsible as they come.

  “Ooh, I’m glad you called actually. We have a few details to discuss before the big event.”

  Our father is turning fifty-five years old tomorrow and the entire family is getting together at my tiny apartment to celebrate. Let me explain that this is quite a freak occurrence. It took a logistics nightmare in order to make this happen.

  You see…my mom’s birthday was three months prior and my dad surprised her with a kitchen remodel as a gift. The poor woman had been stuck with the same outdated cabinets, hideous linoleum floor, and aging appliances ever since they moved into the house. The salesperson at the kitchen warehouse assured them everything would be installed in a timely manner and they would face minimal upheaval. Ha! What a joke! The whole room was practically gutted but the cabinets were on backorder and not due to arrive for another two weeks. That’s why they couldn’t have my dad’s party at home where all the other gatherings were usually held, and were forced to switch venues to my humble abode.

  It didn’t really matter because my ‘entire family’ consisted of my mom, dad, and Hailey. We were a tight knit little bunch and would be able to have fun no matter where we ended up. Although, a few items were definitely necessary to enhance the evening.

  “What are you bringing for entertainment?” I asked suspiciously, ready to throw a fit if she gave an answer that I didn’t like.

  “Ah, I’ve got you covered there. I downloaded a new game on my iPad. One person is the ‘guesser’ and they hold the tablet in front of themselves but don’t look at it. The other person has to give clues in order to get the guesser to say whatever appears on the screen. There are all sorts of fun categories like Molecular Biology, Weather Terminology, and Food Originating in European Countries. I plan on kicking major ass.”

  My sister is such a cheater. Obviously the biochemist would download a large percentage of science related topics to gain an unfair advantage. It was time to even the playing field.

  “You damn well better find a few other categories. Something with history, geography, or abbreviations. You know no one can beat me when it comes to acronyms.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” she promised earnestly. “You’re just lucky it doesn’t involve drawing pictures.”

  I sighed. Hailey loved to bring up my lack of artistic talent. There may or may not have been one particular instance of Pictionary where I drew something so awful that my sister literally peed her pants laughing.

  “Just wear a diaper and you’ll be fine,” I suggested in retaliation.

  After exploding into laughter, Hailey was finally able to continue our conversation.

  “What present did you buy for dad? I want to be sure we didn’t get him something too similar.”

  “I got him a series of documentaries on DVD,” I replied. “What did you get?”

  “Something to read. I guess we’re safe then. It sounds like everything is all set for tomorrow. I’m glad his birthday fell on a Friday so I don’t have to watch the clock and feel like I need to get home early. I’ve been putting in way too many hours at work lately,” she admitted, suddenly yawning as if to prove it.

  “You’re only twenty-seven years old. This is the time in your life to whoop it up. I’m sure the other girls your age are hanging out at the bar and looking for men, not pouring over textbooks and researching chemical compounds. Don’t get burned out, okay?”

  After putting her nose to the grindstone, my sister graduated from college a year early and got hired on the spot at a very prestigious drug company. She deals with product development and advances on curing disease. Yes, it’s certainly important work, but that doesn’t mean she can’t raise hell every once in a while. The fact that her weekend plans consisted of an old man’s fifty-fifth birthday party and beating her sister at trivia…well…it was kind of depressing. Yes, they just so happened to be my plans too, but I wanted more for her.

  “I’m totally living life. I’ve actually been thinking about getting back into the dating scene. I need to move on from the past and look towards the future.”

  My ears perked up at her confession and I forced myself not to show too much excitement. Hailey recently had a difficult break-up and didn’t like to talk about her ex-boyfriend. I had to go about this with finesse so as not to upset her.

  “Tell me what advice you need,” I offered casually, reaching for a bag of tortilla chips on my counter, walking into the living room, and plopping down on the couch. “The love doctor is in.”

  This caused another fit of laughter on her end.

  “Are you serious right now?” she stammered while desperately trying to catch her breath. “What qualifies you to give me advice?”

  “I made out with a hot dude last night, as a matter of fact. So there!”

  “You did not!”

  “I most certainly did. But we’re not here to discuss my prowess with the male species. We’re here to talk about you. Spill it, sister.”

  “I’m giving you bonus points because I really am your sister, but I’m not telling you one single thing until you explain yourself,” she demanded. “Besides, your story sounds exciting.”

  Hailey was nothing if not stubborn, so I knew it was pointless to argue with her. I just felt bad because we were supposed to be discussing her love life, and now I was hijacking the conversation. Let’s make this short and sweet.

  “Okay. Cara met some random guy, the sun rises and sets around his dumb ass, a group outing was planned, I was invited along, this totally gorgeous dude showed up, I swooned, I got hit in the nose, gorgeous dude rescued me, the four of us went to an escape room, you would have loved it because the theme centered around the prohibition, hottie McHotPants kissed me in the closet, and now you’re all caught up.”

  “WHAT?!?” she screamed so loudly that I had to move the phone away from my ear. “When were you planning to tell me all this? Sisters are supposed to share their lives with each other, Andi! You got hit in the face? You had to be rescued? YOU WENT TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITHOUT ME?!?!”

  “Really? That’s the thing you want to focus on?”

  �
�No! I want to focus on all of them at once!”

  Crap. How much should I tell her? I don’t want Hailey to keep asking me about Roman, and then I have to sound like a loser if I never see him again.

  “Okay. The handsome hunk’s name is Roman. While it’s true that he did kiss me, the guy can be sort of brooding and never even asked for my number. I don’t want to get you all excited when there’s a huge probability of this leading absolutely nowhere. If there was any interest on his part, he could have at least swapped digits with me, you know?”

  Believe me, I spent all day running scenarios of ways for Roman to get in touch. Even if he wanted to pursue this connection we seemed to have, due to the piss poor relationship with Tyler, I doubted he’d ask his cousin to get my number from Cara. The logistics sucked. Similarly, there was no way in hell I could tell her to give my contact information to Tyler to give to Roman. That would make me seem desperate.

  “Maybe he didn’t want to look too pushy and he’s just biding his time,” she suggested.

  “That’s a sweet theory, but it doesn’t hold water. Roman is all alpha male. He doesn’t wait. He takes what he wants.”

  Yes, my mind wandered back to the kiss. I couldn’t help it! I was a goner.

  “That sounds kind of dominant. I thought you liked nice guys, Andi. You’re not the type to go for a bad boy.”

  “Everyone wants a bad boy because they’re hot as hell. As long as he shows up on time, treats me with respect, has a decent credit score, does his laundry, bathes regularly, and is kind to animals and the elderly…well…that’s good enough for me.”

  “You’re insane,” my sister blurted while cackling maniacally. “You’ve just described the exact opposite of a bad boy! You want a poindexter dork! Just add ‘wears pocket protector’ and ‘does math calculations in his head’ and you’ll be all set.”

  “How in the heck did this seemingly innocent conversation about dad’s birthday suddenly become an intense analysis of my fondness for dorks?”