Looking around at the three faces watching her expectantly, Jane couldn’t help the trembling smile that stretched her lips.
“You three are making me feel like an exhibition. Why don’t you eat, too, and then it won’t feel so very awkward for me?”
“Of course, how silly of me,” Ella responded immediately. “I am just so relieved to have you back.” The other woman giggled. “Which is ridiculous when you think about the fact that you’ll be leaving again soon, with Fred, back to Boston. But at least then I’ll know for sure you’re safe and sound. And I’ll be able to anticipate letters from you. You will write, won’t you?”
Jane knew her friend had no intention of making her uncomfortable with her words. There was no way for the gracious and graceful Mrs. Ella McLain to know that her guest hadn’t finished her schooling, since Jane had kept that a tightly guarded secret. Oh, she knew how to write, of course, but she never felt as though her words were good enough. What could she possibly write about to her friend? If Jane were returning to the city, her life and that of her friend would be worlds apart.
But the only appropriate answer was, “Of course, I will.” She only hoped it wasn’t a lie as she swallowed it down with the delicious biscuit her friend had baked.
“Ella, these biscuits are just like Sybil’s cook bakes, which are the best biscuits I’ve ever tasted. I had no idea you were such a great cook.”
Ella’s smile was wide as she accepted his compliment. “They should taste like Cook’s biscuits. That’s who I learned from.”
“Really? I haven’t heard this story.”
“When you arranged for me to come out here to be Carter’s wife, I needed a crash course in the kitchen. Your sister’s cook was kind enough to agree to help me. And she gave me all her simplest recipes. Sybil has been sending me recipes and instructions from the cook in almost every letter she sends. And then she reads my tales of success and failure to the kitchen staff. It amuses them.”
All four at the table laughed, although Jane had to clear her throat to get it out. She had been cooking since she was a youngster. It wasn’t an accomplishment. But Ella’s cooking was delicious. And she had only learned how less than two years ago, so Jane supposed it was an accomplishment for Ella, since she had always had servants in the past.
Suddenly, Jane had a stunning thought. If her husband’s sister had servants, did he as well? Would they? Her breath caught in her throat, and she was once again feeling slightly faint. Servants! Just the thought of not having to slave for others in order to keep food on the table made her light in the head. Of course, while she had been living with her sister, she hadn’t actually been earning an income, although her sister had expected her to work as hard as she ever had back in the city.
And while she had been staying with the McLains ever since Phoebe had found out she was a married woman and had thus kicked her out of her house in a furious rage, Jane had felt obligated to work as hard as possible to earn her keep. Jane had been able to ignore Ella’s constant insistence that she needn’t do so much, since the other woman had often grown tired and napped midafternoon. Of course, her stay with the McLains had been the most idyllic time of her life since her mother’s death. The thought that she could actually live like that with her new husband was more than she had even considered when she had imagined remaining married to the handsome Alastair Fredericksburg.
If she could keep him from finding out about her connection to his sister’s problems. It was likely best if most of her own background were kept to herself. She knew Fred was a well-educated man; she would hate for him to find out she hadn’t even finished the basic education. And that she had been a servant. She had thought she had caught him looking at her with admiration a time or two but had discounted the idea as preposterous. Though she had enjoyed the possibility. She could be certain he would never look at her that way again if he knew her full history.
Could she live a lie? Was it even a lie if it were just a matter of not sharing all the information? Not really, right? If he didn’t ask directly, she wasn’t obliged to tell him everything, was she? Jane chewed her lip. She had prided herself on maintaining moral fortitude when she had lost everything else. She had never lied before and would hate to start now. But the thought of a comfortable future was so enticing. If he never asked, she wouldn’t go into any unnecessary details about her life.
Thus decided, she braced herself for whatever was to come. Her stomach churned at the thought of deceiving her husband, but she ignored it. Besides, she hadn’t told Ella and Carter everything, and it had never crossed her mind to imagine that she was being untruthful. But they didn’t marry you, her conscience whispered. Jane ignored the silent voice and turned her attention back to the conversation that had been swirling around her while her thoughts were elsewhere.
“Sybil was furious with me for not bringing her with me,” Fred was saying.
“Oh, that would have been lovely,” Ella promptly replied. “I haven’t seen her since I left Boston. How is she? Her most recent letter seemed mysterious. You have set up some sort of trust for her? It sounded as though she was beside herself with happiness. Is she increasing? I couldn’t understand why her tone was so different.”
“I’m not certain if she is with child or not, and to be honest, it isn’t a thought I want to entertain about my sister. I know she would love to have children, but her husband has been less than genial at times, so I’ve been happy they hadn’t brought youngsters into the world. I have managed to gain leverage over the man, and it has wrought remarkable changes in his behavior.”
“That’s wonderful. I felt terrible about leaving her behind with Horace when I left Boston, but I was no longer welcome in his home, despite Sybil’s loyal friendship. I know he’s her husband. And I know she even loves him. But to me he was rather vile and I hated to leave her behind. I’m surprised you were able to gain control of him, though. He didn’t strike me as one who would allow anyone to have anything over him.”
“If you find the right thing, anything is possible.”
Fred’s answer felt mysterious and intriguing. Jane wanted to ask questions but didn’t feel equipped for the conversation.
“Tell me what is new with the two of you.” Fred didn’t seem any further inclined to discuss his sister or her husband, easily changing the subject.
Ella blushed. Jane sighed. Her hostess was such a pretty woman, fairly glowing with her pregnancy and joy. She gestured to her belly.
“Well, as you probably couldn’t help but notice, we are going to be adding to the family shortly.”
“That’s wonderful. When is the happy occasion?”
“In about two months’ time.”
“Are there sufficient medical practitioners in these parts?” Fred’s solicitous concern warmed Jane’s heart even if it wasn’t directed toward her. He was a caring man, an attractive quality to be certain. Not that she should be thinking that way, since she was keeping such a large secret from him. She needed to guard her heart.
Ella and Carter laughed. “Yes, Fred, I’ve seen a doctor. And there is a midwife in these parts who has a wonderful reputation. They say she hasn’t lost a baby or mother in her entire career. I suspect that might be exaggerated, but I feel confident in her hands.”
Jane was watching Fred closely and was surprised to see a wistful expression cross his face. Did the man want children of his own? Or did he want to live in the wilds of Missouri?
Chapter Four
Fred felt Jane’s gaze as if it were a physical touch. It was disconcerting. How could he be so aware of the woman when they’d only just met? Was it because she was officially his and he felt a responsibility toward her as such? But no, he had never felt this aware of his sister, Sybil, and he had felt responsible for her since she was born. He doubted it was even her beauty, as he had met beautiful women before. One of whom was also sitting at the table. When he had first met Ella St. Clair, he had thought her one of the most beautiful women he h
ad ever met, but he wasn’t so very aware of her as he was of this Jane Cosburn. Jane Fredericksburg, now, he reminded himself.
A part of him wanted to meet her gaze, to let her know he knew she was watching him. But the poor girl was already such a mess of nerves he didn’t want to add to her discomfort. He doubted her fears had righted themselves with her long walks; she had only gained control over them. Or at least felt her responsibility to live up to her word was greater than her fear.
Fred appreciated that sentiment. His word was of the utmost importance to him. He liked that she seemed to consider it important, too. And she had felt an obligation toward Ella and Carter. Hopefully, she would be able to develop warmer feelings toward him with time, but if they could start with feelings of commitment, they could work toward everything else.
But the young woman was clearly at the end of her abilities at the moment. From the corner of his eye, he could see she was barely able to keep her eyes open. The dark smudges below the bright blue gaze didn’t detract from her beauty but definitely leant her an enhanced air of fragility. Fred didn’t believe for a second that she was actually fragile; she merely looked it due to her fatigue. If she could walk the miles and miles to Council Bluffs, not once, but twice in the space of twenty-four hours, she was far stronger than she appeared. But now she needed some rest.
“I think it’s time that we all retire,” Fred said by way of interrupting the conversation Ella and Carter were trying to keep afloat. Neither of their guests were participating at this point, so he wasn’t sure why they were making such an effort. Probably, Ella’s ideas of societal expectation from her days in Boston, he thought with a small smile. She was such a city girl in her soul, despite her apparent adjustment to life on Carter’s spread.
His words may not have been well thought out. If it were possible, his wife had paled further. Fred had meant to make it evident that he didn’t expect her to fulfill certain marital obligations until they were better acquainted, but he hadn’t found a way to bring that up yet.
“Is there somewhere I could sleep? I could even bunk down in your hayloft if there’s nowhere free in here or with your men.” He paused for a second and smiled as he saw, again from the corner of his eye, his wife almost wilt with relief. “I know we didn’t discuss an extended stay, but I don’t think we’re going to be ready to head back to Boston for a few days yet.”
Ella promptly spoke up. “You’re always welcome in our home, Fred, and you can stay as long as you’d like.” She exchanged a glance with her husband, and then her attention drifted to Jane. Fred wasn’t sure what she was looking for in his wife or if she found it, but she turned back to him with what appeared to be forced cheerfulness. “You can have your choice of sleeping arrangements. There is room in the bunkhouse, as we haven’t yet hired all the hands we’ll need this spring, but I’ve heard the men saying that Bob is a noisy sleeper, so you’re welcome to the hayloft if you think that might be more comfortable.”
“Oh no, Ella, you mustn’t send him to the barn. I could sleep in the barn, and he can take my room. I won’t mind at all. It’s nice and warm in there, and the animals are a comfort.”
Fred couldn’t believe his ears. His delicate little wife was offering her own bed for him. Not with her in it, of course, but she would rather put herself out than for him to do so. He appreciated her inclination, but there was no way he would allow her to make such a sacrifice.
“I sleep like a log, so I don’t think Bob will disturb me in the least, thank you.” He wasn’t sure if that were completely true, but he didn’t actually want either he or his wife to experience the hayloft. From the sounds of it, though, his wife had already experienced it and was willing to repeat the experience. He wouldn’t stand for it though.
The expression on her face indicated she wanted to protest, and he was curious to hear what she might say, but then she met his gaze and snapped her lips shut before glancing away in obvious discomfort. He reached toward her and patted her shoulder.
This, too, was a new development for him. Along with his awareness of her, he felt the compulsion to touch her. It wasn’t something he had ever been urged to do before. Not even with his sister, whom he loved dearly and would exchange hugs with or they would hold each other’s arm as they walked. But this was different. From the moment he first clapped eyes on her, he had to fight the urge to pull Jane into his arms. It was disconcerting. He offered her a smile and was relieved to see her return it.
But then she seemed startled by their interaction and quickly got up from the table and excused herself, hurrying up the stairs. A moment later, there came the soft click as she shut her door. Fred wondered if her door had a lock on it. Not that he would ever consider forcing his presence upon her, but was that the sound he had heard? He turned his troubled gaze to his hosts, who were gazing at him expectantly.
Fred offered them what he hoped was a confident looking smile. “She’s lovely.”
Ella giggled. “She is, actually, but I’m afraid you haven’t yet seen her good points. I truly am sorry, Fred. We should have realized there was more going on with her and prevented her from panicking.”
“I don’t know how you could have done that if she didn’t want to confide in anyone,” Fred answered reasonably. “Don’t let it trouble you, Ella, I promise, I’m not going to hold a grudge against you or her. It all ended well, at least for now. But perhaps you could lock her in tonight somehow, in case she changes her mind.”
The three shared a chuckle. Fred figured they didn’t take him seriously. He was undecided if he had meant his words or not. He didn’t know the woman and didn’t know if she could be relied on. She hadn’t actually expressly given her word that she wouldn’t run again. Fred had the impression that she was usually the reliable sort despite her recent behavior. He was fairly certain Ella and Carter’s experiences in life had made them pretty good judges of character, and they vouched for her. Regardless, there was nothing that could be done now. Hopefully the girl would be able to get a good, long sleep and they could deal with the issues in the morning. He, too, could use some rest. It had been a more stressful day than he had realized.
Fred needed to hold onto his wife for at least a while. He didn’t savor the thought of divorce, but it wasn’t impossible to obtain with the right lawyer. If his wife truly couldn’t bear the thought of being married to him, he would try to set her free. But he needed to keep her at least until his own affairs were settled. And he couldn’t allow anything to disturb the peace he had finally been able to restore for Sybil. He wouldn’t force his wife to return to Boston if she truly didn’t want to, but she would have to remain legally his for at least a while longer. She had given her word when she sent him her proxy, and he had every intention of making sure she kept it.
It would be something to confront tomorrow. Fred tried to clear it from his mind for the time being. There was no need to worry he would forget. It was his life now. And he would need all his wits about him in the morning. That is to say, as long as his wife didn’t walk away in the middle of the night again.
Chapter Five
It had been his grumbling stomach that had awoken him. Fred had slept far later than was his wont. He supposed it made sense. He hadn’t slept perfectly soundly on the train. The constant motion, while hypnotic, hadn’t been as restful as he had expected. Fred was relieved that he hadn’t noticed any noises coming from Bob or any of the men in the bunkhouse that night. And he had actually slept through any of their morning activity. Chasing after his wife yesterday must have exhausted him more than he realized.
The day had dawned bright and beautiful. Fred had never been this far west before and hadn’t expected the scenery to be so very different than what he was used to. He had kept his head buried in books on the train ride, hoping to have most of his business finished up so he could concentrate on his wife during the ride back to Boston. Now, of course, he wasn’t certain if he would be travelling back any time soon and if he would be doing so
with a wife in tow or not. Either way, he would have to go to the telegraph office in Trader’s Point and send some messages back to the city within the next day or two, whether they were heading east or not.
But now he needed to eat. Soon. Or he would be growly as a bear before long. Fred quickly made his way to the bucket of water sitting at the side of the room and cleaned himself up as best as he could. It wasn’t the type of conditions he was used to, but he would like to think he wasn’t such a stickler that he couldn’t make do for at least a few days.
Before long, he was striding toward the house, as freshened as he could manage, ready to fill his stomach and face the day.
“You’ve been a slugabed, it would seem, Fred. Are you feeling all right? It’s unusual for you to sleep so late. We didn’t even have any spirits last night.”
Fred laughed over Carter’s comment. “I was more tired than I had realized. And I think the air out here might be thinner or something. I haven’t slept that soundly in ages.”
“I’m glad to hear Bob didn’t disturb you. The man can be loud.”
Fred laughed again. “What are you doing hovering about out here? Were you coming to fetch me?”
“No, just leaving space for the womenfolk to get their talking over with,” Carter replied. “Ella’s gotten me more aware of feelings than I ever thought I’d want to be, but I don’t want to take on Jane’s as well. I’m sorry if that makes me a terrible friend, Fred, but I think I’ll draw the line there. That’s your responsibility now, my friend.”
Fred quirked his eyebrows and eyed the front door of the house. He needed to get in there to address his hunger, but he was no more eager to confront the women’s feelings than Carter was. Then he remembered Jane’s words the day before.
A Bride for Alastair Page 3
