by S. C. Adams
I have no idea.
After all, I’ve been planning my conquest of the New York real estate market for some time now, and unfortunately, Veronica has a key part in those plans. Should I throw it all the window because of a beautiful college girl who gets me off faster than any other woman I’ve met?
I don’t know. I pride myself on not thinking with my dick, but given Kylie’s beauty and innocence, clearly, my faculties are impaired right now.
I try to forget about this for a little bit because I’m already running late. Veronica asked me to come over today, and I said yes. It sounds fucked up. One day with the daughter, the next with the mother.
But she’s my fiancée, so reluctantly, I take the elevator to her apartment and ring the doorbell. The door opens, and there’s Veronica, done up to the nines.
“Tanner, hi! Come in,” she smirks. I walk inside, immediately making comparisons between mother and daughter. I can tell she spent hours doing her makeup because the skin on her face is a different color than the skin on her neck. Her hair hangs in gilded waves down her narrow back, and the woman is painfully thin to boot.
Kylie, on the other hand, was beautiful last night. She didn’t have on a stitch of makeup, but she positively glowed regardless. And she’s so open with me. Veronica always has a wall up, which I guess isn’t strange given that she works in real estate. People in our business aren’t exactly candid and open. Plus, it’s tit for tat. A wall was something I wanted because I don’t exactly share my deepest self with her.
But do I want to with Kylie?
It shouldn’t really matter because I came here to forget about Kylie and to focus once more on business.
Soon, we’re seated and sipping from glasses of wine. I look at my fiancée, who by all means is a very attractive woman. I’m marrying her in part because New York society expects to see a woman like this on my arm: thin, blonde, and crafty. Plus, I’ve always adored older women. It’s something that’s always worked for me, mainly because I don’t want kids. Older women are amenable to that, especially if they already have children.
Younger women on the other hand? They almost always want rug rats, and I’m not on board with that. Thus, my preference for mature ladies.
But these past few weeks, I’ve been reevaluating my life in ways I never have before. My past beliefs about relationships have literally been blown to smithereens, and it’s all thanks to Kylie.
She’s young. Younger than I’m naturally comfortable with. But somehow, I’m drawn to her, and with Kylie, the prospect of children doesn’t sound so bad. In fact, it sounds amazing. I’d love to see that curvy figure grow rounder as she fills with my child. In fact, I can imagine Kylie pregnant multiple times as her fertile form grows with my seed again and again.
Holy shit. Am I going insane? Do I literally want to breed this woman? But how can that be? I’ve never felt this way before. If anything, I’ve avoided fertile women like the plague because they have demands. Needs that I don’t share, and as a result, I’ve generally avoided women under forty.
Now though, it seems everything’s changed. I want to give her everything: love, a relationship, and even marriage maybe?
Most of all, a family. Preferably one with children tumbling about, and the pitter patter of small feet ringing in my ears at all hours.
How is this possible? It goes against everything I thought I wanted. How can one woman change me so profoundly in such a short amount of time? Meanwhile, Veronica has no idea of my thoughts.
“You look like you’re on another planet,” she giggles.
I’m jolted back to reality by her high-pitched laugh. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but it’s been grating on my ears lately. Everything Veronica does has been getting on my nerves more and more lately. Before, I’d just ignore her and move on, but now, I’m seriously annoyed. Calming myself, I lie.
“I’m just thinking,” is my smooth tone. She titters again.
“What are you thinking about? Care to share?”
I give a curt shake.
“Nothing important. You wouldn’t be interested.”
“Well,” she leans over, showing off her sizable breasts, “would you like to take a break from thinking? We could have a lot of fun.”
That seems weird. Veronica made it clear she wants to “save herself” for marriage, which is ironic given that she’s not exactly a first-time bride. So what is she doing now with the seduction?
Moreover, I feel absolutely nothing. Not even the slightest twitch. When this started, I was sexually attracted to Veronica, but that attraction’s gone up in smoke. I would much rather have someone curvy, fertile and sweet now.
A part of me wants to go back to the old me. The Tanner Logan who played with women, did whatever he wanted and knew who he was.
Now, I’m spiraling and thinking about potentially starting a family with the daughter of my fiancée. Have I gone insane? I smile at her with shuttered eyes.
“Veronica, I’m not sure I’m in mood.” Not for her at least. Next to Kylie, Veronica feels old and dry, and not because of her age. It’s her attitude, and rapacious ways. Then again, maybe I’m so infatuated with Kylie because she’s new and different to me. The woman’s young and luscious, and the total opposite of my usual cup of tea. What she wants and expects from me makes me believe that I could be a better man.
What has Kylie done to me? Why am I so different now?
I thought this whole thing was just business. Originally, I thought while Veronica was keeping me away from her bed, I could have a little fun. Yeah, it was fucked up of me to choose Kylie as the one to fool around with, but that was a coincidence, at least in the beginning.
But then, it definitely became a conscious choice, and now, I’m all twisted up and confused with no place to go.
“Come on, Tanner. We’re about to get married. Let’s have a little fun,” Veronica giggles.
“I thought you wanted to wait until after?” I ask in an arch voice.
She nods.
“I did, but I changed my mind. I’m allowed to change my mind, right? It’s a woman’s prerogative.” Her fingers brush up my arm. It takes a lot in me not to flinch. I can’t stay here because if I do, I’ll end up rebuffing her, and Veronica will know something is very wrong.
“Veronica, I should head home.”
Her lip pops out, and she crosses her arms.
“Why?” she whines.
“I have a lot of work today. I want to make sure I have it all done before the wedding because we’ll be busy then.”
“Can’t you do it later?” she pouts.
“No. I don’t want to run out of time and you know business is important.”
“Okay,” she still looks upset, but accepts my explanation.
I get up, grateful for the easy out. I’m about to go, but Veronica grabs on to my arm.
“Call me, Tanner? I want to talk.”
Ugh. But I smile.
“Sure.” She smirks and lets go of me. She watches me as I leave her apartment, her eyes boring holes into my back until the elevator doors close. Thank god. The lift descends and I exit before striding to my car. Needing a couple of minutes to myself, I don’t turn the ignition right away. My hands grip tightly on to the wheel, my knuckles almost white.
I have to do something about this mess I’ve made for myself. I mean, I was just with Kylie last night. That should be enough, but I want to be with her again. She has me in her sway, and I feel a desperate need to be in her presence.
Finally, I start my car and drive myself home. A stiff drink will do the trick. I still crave Kylie, but I can’t go to her because I was just with her. She’s becoming an addiction, and one that I can’t control. I drop my car off with the valet and head to the top floor. The ride is the longest I’ve ever taken, but finally, I’m at the penthouse.
As I stride in, the silence rings in my ears. For the first time ever, my penthouse feels empty. I’ve always liked coming back home and find
ing everything the same way I left it.
But today, there’s something different. It feels like there’s no life, and the furniture is nothing but inanimate objects. Even my favorite Matisse on the wall is immobile and unseeing. I fix myself a scotch and my thoughts drift to Kylie once more. I imagine coming home and finding her sitting on the couch reading a book, with a pot of pasta bubbling on the stove. Even better, I’d wrap my arms around her waist as a baby drinks at her breast.
Oh shit. I’m truly losing it. A baby? What the hell is wrong with me? I’m going crazy. Kylie does not fit into the box I made for the women I date. She’s different, and wonderfully so. My breath catches in my throat as I imagine our children playing about our feet, her curvy form ripe and glowing with motherhood.
My throat seizes and the only explanation is that somehow, I’ve changed. What I want has changed, and all because of Kylie. What the hell is going on? Why am I so attracted to her?
Yes, she’s beautiful.
I also enjoy spending time with her.
She makes me smile.
The sex is the best I’ve ever had in my life.
My brain is running around in circles thinking about Kylie. I’ve never been the type of guy who thinks about relationships and women much. Most of the time, I’m thinking about my next big acquisition, or whatever deal is hitting the books the next week.
But now, it’s all about Kylie. Maybe I should see her again. She’s been trying to get me to have a conversation about the two of us for weeks now, but I kept putting it off because I was too scared to actually consider what might be happening between me and her.
But I can’t show up at her door unexpectedly again. Basically, I’m an idiot who has no idea what to do. Drat. In business, when I’m at an impasse like this, it’s better to go with what I know for a fact. Veronica is a known factor. Maybe I should just go through with this marriage because it offers certainty and a guaranteed return. But Kylie. What do I do about Kylie?
I take out my phone and scroll through my contact list to a number that I haven’t called in years. It rings, and then someone answers.
“Tanner?” a woman’s voice fills my ears.
“Can I come see you today?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m not leaving my house, so stop by anytime.”
“Good. See you soon.” I hang up, already questioning my decision to go see this person. It’s been a very long while, and for good reason too because I don’t like thinking about my past.
But maybe confronting my past will help me make a decision about my future. That’s it. I change into comfortable clothes and head over to my car. This woman may be able to help me solve my problems, and not a moment too soon.
13
Tanner
The trip to New Jersey isn’t too bad since there isn’t much traffic. It’s beautiful, with leafy green canopies and a twisting road that’s a pleasure to drive.
My thoughts land on my sister and her son. Jason must be in school now, and he’s a happy guy from what I remember. I can probably just offer him the candies I bought as a gift. But Lacey will definitely want an explanation as to why I’m suddenly popping up out of nowhere. She sounded normal on the phone, but in real life, she’s a force of nature.
I pull up to a modest house and park in the driveway. The front door opens while I’m still in the car, and Lacey waits expectantly, one shoulder propped up against the frame. She looks scary even from here.
Turning off the car, I sit for a couple of seconds, taking a few deep breaths. I know it’s selfish of me to hope she isn’t mad, but you never know. After all, I’m the one who left her when she was a child, leaving her to fend for herself in the cruel world. Damn, I wish I could re-do that part of our lives, but the best I can manage is a wary smile.
Finally, I get out of the car and head for the house. I stop before stepping onto the porch and look up at the sister I haven’t seen in years.
“Hey girl.”
“Hi Tanner.” We stand there taking one another in. My sister looks really good actually, with her tanned skin and short, cropped blonde hair. All I ever wanted was for her to have a good life and for a while, that seemed like a pipe dream. After I left, Lacey fell in with a bad crowd and got into drugs and crime. It was only a matter of time before the law caught up with her, and she spent some time behind bars.
But that’s all over now. Since then, Lacey’s become an upstanding citizen, gotten married, and adopted my nephew Jason. She’s a secretary at a local real estate firm, and although we’re not really in touch, I hope she’s found peace in the intervening years.
“Do you want to come inside?” she motions. I nod and step into her house. It’s unremarkable, with a huge overstuffed couch on one end and a giant boxy TV on the other. There are pictures and knickknacks lying about, giving the space a homey touch.
Lacey leads me to the kitchen. The aroma of freshly baked chocolate cookies hits my nose and my stomach growls involuntarily.
She laughs.
“I was hoping I could finish making these cookies before you got here, but they need a few more minutes. I have tea, though. Or milk, if you want it?”
I grin.
“I’ll take some tea.” I’m not really thirsty or hungry, but I know this is Lacey’s way of keeping calm. She probably has a lot of questions.
My sister pours us both a mug and takes a seat across from me. I’m not sure where to start or what to say. I’ve never been any good at confiding in anyone, and my sister is no exception.
“So, how is everything?” she asks.
“It’s fine. Nothing much, you know with work and all. Oh, I’m engaged. I guess I should mention that.”
“Really?” she eyes me. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. What’s her name?”
“Veronica Mitchell. She’s a real estate agent.”
Lacey whistles, her pale blue eyes speculative.
“Wow, I never thought the day would come when my big brother got married. You must really love this woman.” If only she knew. Well, that’s why I’m here: to lay out my troubles. I take a deep breath.
“Well, actually Lace, that’s what I came here to talk about. I wanted to get your advice on something.”
“Really?” she asks, her eyebrows practically flying off her forehead. “My advice? I’m surprised.”
I try not to wince.
“I know it’s been a long time, but just hear me out, okay?”
She slowly takes a sip of her tea and nods. I know this isn’t at all what she was expecting because I’ve never asked my little sister for advice on anything. I’ve been going about life all on my own for so long that now she doesn’t expect anything.
Lacey puts her mug down and fully focuses on me.
“Ask away, big bro. I’m happy to be of service.”
I nod, taking another deep breath.
“So, I’m supposed to marry Veronica pretty soon, and it was fine. We weren’t … ah, how do you put it? A love connection. But over the past couple of weeks, I met someone else. It was totally unexpected and came from nowhere, but I’m in it now. I’m beginning to question whether or not I should go through with this wedding. In fact, I’m beginning to question all the choices I’ve made regarding my love life,” is my wry remark.
Lacey squints at me.
“Do you love this other person?”
I sigh.
“That’s just it. I don’t know. I care for them deeply, and I like being with them, but I have this whole thing going on with her mother –”
“Her mother?” Lacey interrupts me. Shit! I didn’t want to reveal that small fact. During this entire affair, I’ve been able to keep things quiet, but now with my sister, it’s all coming out.
I nod grimly.
“Yeah, that’s my conundrum. After a bizarre series of events, I somehow ended up seeing the daughter of the woman I’m supposed to marry. I realize it’s twisted, and believe me, I never expected this either. But now, I’m not sure what’s
next. I mean, if I get married, I have to break it off with the daughter right? But if I don’t get married, is it amoral to take up with the spurned bride’s daughter? It’s a real Catch-22.”
Lacey goes quiet for a few seconds. She looks down into her mug, twisting her mouth back and forth.
“Is this girl legal?”
I sputter and a bit of tea comes out of my nose.
“Yeah, she’s legal. You don’t have to worry about that.”
Lacey nods.
“Good because I don’t want you breaking the law, after what I’ve been through.” She takes a few moments, and then continues. “You know I don’t blame you for what happened to me, right? You were just a kid then.”
I sigh. What happened when we were teens still haunts me, even if my sister has long since forgiven me.
“I know, Lacey. I know. I just don’t want to make the wrong choice again after what I did to you.”
She looks me straight in the eye.
“I don’t think you will, big bro. Before, we didn’t have options, but now the Logans have come a long way, and you have the world at your fingertips. Besides, something tells me you’ve changed.”
Hmm, interesting. I’ve only been at my sister’s house for five minutes, but somehow, she can sense the shift in me. Chalk that up to a sisterly spidey-sense.
I stare at my hands hopelessly.
“So what do you think I should do?” I press.
Lacey looks down into her mug again, clearly contemplating.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Tanner. I really think this has to be a choice you make yourself. I know you’re saying you don’t know what you want, but you’re really the only person who can make this decision. This is your future. And yeah, you could go down the wrong path. There’s always a chance of that, but it’s just life and I believe in your ability to make the right decision. Just because you think you super messed up when you were a kid, doesn’t mean the same thing is going to happen this time. You’re grown now. An adult.”
