Flawed Rider: A Lost Saxons Novel #6

by Ames, Jessica

  When she rolls to her toes to kiss me, my hands skim up her back, pulling her nearer. I want to feel her close as I take her mouth.

  The kiss is warm, wet and wild. It’s definitely not appropriate for outside the bedroom, but I don’t give a fuck. When her hands move under my kutte, I feel nothing but jubilation.

  I contemplate taking her back inside and fucking her senseless, but then we’ll never ride today and I want her to experience being on the bike for fun, not because we need to get from point A to point B. The roads around Kingsley to the south are country lanes that are a riot to ride. They are open, wide and you can get a decent speed up. It’s where I’m planning on taking her.

  I want her to experience the bike in all its glory.

  “Noah?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re a good man. I hope you know that.”

  Her words make my heart swell in a way I didn’t know it could. She trails her fingers down my face. I capture her fingers and bring them to my mouth, kissing the tips. I didn’t think I could love. I didn’t think I was worthy of it. She’s shown me differently. Chloe’s teaching me to take what I want, what I need. How can I be like my father when I feel this depth of devotion? I couldn’t imagine laying a finger on her. I would rather die than hurt her. I don’t think my father felt that way. I think he hated my mother because she reminded him of his own fucking weaknesses. The cycle became a continuous one. The more he hurt her the more he hated her, but really the only person he hated was himself. He was a coward.

  “You look a little deep in thought. Are you okay?” she asks.

  “With you, I’m perfect.” I kiss her then say, “Come on. Let’s get riding.”

  I help her with her helmet, loving the proximity to her as my fingers skim under her chin to do the strap up. Once I’m sure she’s safely buckled in, I pull my own helmet on and hand her a pair of riding gloves. It can get cold on the bike this time of the year and I want her to enjoy our ride, not freeze her arse off.

  She gets on behind me once I’m seated and I can feel her uncertainty in the way she moves. I want to put her at ease, so I run my hand up her thigh and she shivers at my back. I grin, loving that I can elicit that response from her.

  Then I hit the throttle and we take off. It’s a slower ride getting out of Kingsley because of the traffic. It’s probably just as well because it gives her time to get used to being on the back of my bike. Then, when I hit the open road, I give it the oomph needed to take off.

  Chloe squeals and tucks herself tighter against my back, her nose buried in the crook of my neck. Everything about this has me feeling content. I love her being behind me, I love the feel of her body against mine and the warmth of her breath at my throat. I love it all.

  We ride for a while, and I’m grateful the air isn’t that cold, although it’s cold enough to keep me more than a little awake.

  After an hour or so, I ride to a small layby off the main road and stop there. I wait for her to climb off, and I reach out to steady her when she wobbles a little.

  “You get used to it.”

  “I’m fine,” she assures me. “I’ve just got my sea legs on at the moment.”

  “It’ll get easier the more you ride.” I pull her towards me so I can kiss her.

  When she steps away after our kiss, I kick down the stand and climb off the bike. Then I wrap my arm over her shoulder and lead her to the edge of the layby, which looks down over Kingsley.

  In the distance, I can see the collieries and high rises of the town—a town that is owned by me and my brothers.

  “My mum used to bring me up here—before she died,” I say softly.

  “It’s beautiful,” Chloe replies, nuzzling into my side.

  “You’ve never mentioned your mum. I’m guessing she’s not in the picture.”

  Chloe sighs. “She left Dad about three years ago. I see her occasionally, but we don’t have much of a relationship. Jesse never really liked her much either. She wasn’t mother material.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  She waves this off as I move behind her, my chin resting on her shoulder while my arms wrap around her stomach.

  “Don’t be. She wasn’t much use when she was here to start with. No one missed her. Believe me. Still, I do wonder if things might have been different for Jesse if she’d stuck around.”

  I nuzzle her neck and kiss her there, provoking a shiver from her. “You can’t wonder about the what ifs. It’ll drive you crazy.”

  “Yeah, I know.” She turns in my arms. “Noah, are you sure you’re willing to take this on? I mean, I come as a package now. It’s not just me, but Jesse, and you sure as hell didn’t sign up for a teenager.”

  I kiss her nose. “Jesse’s been part of the equation from the moment I started wanting you.”

  “Noah—”

  “Shh, darlin’. Listen to my words. I want you and I want you however you come. With Jesse, without him—I don’t care. I want you as you are.”

  She bites on her lip. “I know, but Jesse still is very much a boy—one who has had a terrible time. I can’t just leave him to it and get on with my own life.”

  “I don’t think Jesse is ready to take the plunge into adulthood either. He still needs support.”

  She sags against me, her head ploughing into my chest. “Thank God for that. I’m glad you’re on the same page as me with this.”

  I kiss her again. “I’m on whatever page you’re on.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “You don’t have to take me to work,” Chloe tells me as she’s busy rushing around gathering her shit together a few days later. Jesse is perched on the edge of the sofa, watching his sister’s whirl-winding around the living room.

  “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Besides, you’re already late. I’m guessing you’ve missed the bus.”

  More than this, I don’t want her taking that thing while Dylan is out there. I have no idea if that creepy fuck is keeping tabs on us, but I don’t want Chloe to become a target. She’s easy pickings. She’s not being tailed and she’s out here on her own. I don’t like it. I need to claim her and soon.

  She glances up at the clock on the wall and scowls. “Fuckity fuck a duck.”

  I arch a brow. “Fuckity what?”

  She waves this off and her shoulders sag. “I’ve totally missed my bus. My boss is going to hit the roof if I’m late.”

  She works as an administrator at a small housing company in town. I doubt it’s paying enough to keep her and Jesse looked after, but I don’t know how to bring this up without sounding like a controlling lunatic, so I haven’t mentioned it yet. I’m sure we can find her something at one of the Club businesses that pays better, but I doubt she’d let me put in a word for her. Chloe’s proud and she prides herself on her independence.

  “If I drive you, problem solved, right?”

  I don’t like the deflated look on her face. “That would be appreciated.”

  Crossing the room, I come to stand in front of her. “What’s going on?”

  She shifts her shoulders, refusing to meet my gaze. I don’t like that either

  “Chlo?”

  I’m aware of Jesse leaving the room, giving us the space we need and I’m grateful as fuck to the kid. Particularly when Chloe’s eyes slide up to meet mine. I really don’t like what I see there.

  “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

  I can’t help it. I laugh. “Woman, you couldn’t take advantage of me if you tried.”

  Laughing isn’t the best idea because she ducks her head again, and I have to place a finger under her chin to raise her eyes to me.

  “Beautiful, what’s going on?” I demand, because my heart right now is speeding in my chest. Where is this going?

  “I just… you do so much for me and Jesse already.”

  “So?” I brush a strand of hair behind her ear. It’s an intimate gesture, one I hope tells her how much she’s mine.

 
; “Noah…”

  Her calling me that doesn’t give me that sense of dread I previously had. It makes me feel something completely different, something I can’t quite put my finger on, but I know it’s good.

  “Chloe, I like doing shit for you both.”

  “I know you do, but it doesn’t make it right. I feel like we’re leaning on you so much lately. I don’t like it. I don’t want you to feel like we’re a burden.”

  My hands go to her shoulders and I rub up and down them. “First off, you’re not a burden, nor will you ever be. Second off, you don’t need to worry about leaning on me. That’s what I’m here for.”

  She’s mine and that makes her shit my shit. I keep this to myself, though, not sure she’s ready to hear this. We’re in a good place right now and I want to keep it that way.

  “But it shouldn’t. I should be able to do this on my own.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I should.” She lets out a cute but frustrated breath.

  “Sweetheart, you got dealt a hand you didn’t expect. You’re twenty-one and trying to juggle taking care of yourself and your brother. It’s not easy what you’re doing.”

  “I don’t mind taking care of Jesse.”

  “I know you don’t, and that’s what makes you special. You got dealt a raw hand and you never say a word about it.” I kiss her forehead. “I don’t begrudge helping you out, not even a little. It’s what you do for someone you love.”

  The words slip out unbidden and as soon as it does she stiffens beneath my touch. Shit. I just told her I love her. I didn’t mean to say it like that. It was a slip of the tongue, although not one I regret, because the truth is I do love her and I’d do anything to keep her happy, safe and whole. Taking her to work or running around after Jesse is no hardship.

  She peers up at me, her green eyes wide. I can’t get a read on whether my words scared her or thrilled her.

  “You love me?” she demands.

  It scares me, terrifies me, to open myself up, to lay everything bare to her, but I do it because she needs the words and I need to see how she reacts to them. It’s not a lie either. I do love her. I love her with everything I have, with parts of me I didn’t know were still open to love.

  “No, I just really like hanging out at your place.” I snort. “What do you think this has been about?”

  “I don’t know.” She nibbles on her lip. “You can’t love me.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m a walking disaster.”

  I cup her face and draw it close so I can take her mouth. “You’re not a disaster. You’re an amazing woman, Chloe Allen. Not everyone would take in their sibling the way you have.”

  “Of course they would.”

  “The fact you believe that is what makes me love you. You see the best in everyone.”

  Including me. She sees past all my shit, all my history to the root of who I am. I’m wide open to her and I don’t know how she got me like this. She’s the first person I’ve ever talked to about my past, about my father. There’s more I need to tell her, but the fact I feel I can is a huge step forward.

  “But you love me?”

  “Yeah, Chloe. I love you. I think I loved you the first moment I saw you.”

  Colour rises in her cheeks and I love how pretty she looks when she’s blushing.

  “Noah…”

  “I’m not going to demand you say it back, Chlo. When you say it, I want you to feel it, to mean it.”

  She gazes up at me through her lashes. “But I want to say it now. I love you. I don’t know when it happened, but my world feels grey when you’re not in it.”

  “Fuck. Babe.” I claim her mouth and devour her. My hand tangles in the hair at the nape of her neck as I consume her, taking everything she’s offering. Our tongues slide over each other’s and my dick feels tight in my jeans.

  “If you two have finished playing tonsil tennis, can we get moving?” Jesse’s voice breaks through my Chloe fog and I pull back, noticing she looks a little punch-drunk herself.

  “Sorry,” she apologises, but she doesn’t look particularly sorry, which makes me chuckle.

  “Get your shit, Chlo. I’ll take you to work.”

  “Okay.” I don’t miss the fact she sounds a little breathless as she says it.

  The three of us pile into the cage I borrowed from the Club and I drive her to work first.

  When I pull up outside the building, I’m surprised it looks fairly new, modern even. It’s not the gloomy place I was envisaging. It makes some of the weight in my chest lift a little.

  I lean over the centre console and kiss her.

  “What time do you finish?”

  “Six.”

  “I’ll be here then to pick you up.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I’ll be here at six,” I reiterate.

  She smiles. “Has anyone ever told you you’re stubborn.”

  “Once or twice. Have a good day, sweetheart. I love you.” Saying it doesn’t make the world implode and I like how it feels on my tongue. I also adore the look she gives me, a smouldering want that makes me want to drag her back to the flat and fuck her senseless.

  “I love you too.” She peers around the seat to look at Jesse in the back. “Have a good day, Jess. Love you.”

  His nose wrinkles, but he mutters back. “Yeah, love you too.”

  It seems reluctant when Chloe climbs out of the car and closes the door behind her with a look of dismay. Then she gives me a small wave and heads for the main entrance of her building.

  I wait until she’s gone inside, Jesse seizing the moment to climb into the front seat, and then I pull back out from the kerb.

  I drive in silence. Jesse breaks it.

  “So, you and my sister, eh?”

  Fuck. I rub at the back of my neck. Maybe this is a conversation we should have had with him before publicly declaring our devotion.

  “You’re still okay with it?”

  He shifts his shoulders. “I guess. Just don’t hurt her and we’ll be fine.”

  My lips quirk. “Don’t worry about that, buddy. I’m not planning on hurting her.”

  “She acts tough, Chloe, but she’s not as tough as she makes out.”

  “Yeah, I see that,” I assure him. “You don’t have to worry, though, kid. I’m going to take care of you and your sister.”

  “Good. She needs that.”

  He needs it too, but I keep this to myself.

  I risk a sidelong glance at him. “You’re okay with this then?”

  “As long as she’s happy, I don’t care what you do.”

  “You’re a good brother.”

  “Well, she’s been a good sister to me.”

  She really has, and I’m glad he’s recognised that. “Yeah, she has.”

  “Are you moving in with us?”

  I haven’t really thought that far ahead, which is what I tell him.

  Jesse sighs. “Are you guys going to want me to find somewhere else?”

  “Somewhere else?”

  “To live.”

  Fuck. “No, kid. Not at all. Your home is with your sister for as long as you need it. Whether I move in or not, that’s not changing. You’ll always have a roof over your head, you hear me?”

  As I split my gaze between the road and him, I notice the sagging of his shoulders, the relief evident in the gesture.

  “Jesse, I mean that. You’ll always have a home, no matter what happens between me and your sister. You understand?”

  After a moment, he nods. “Yeah, I understand.”

  “Good. You’re family now. The Club takes care of its own.”

  He mulls this over. “Family. Right.”

  The last thing I want is for him to feel like he’s being shoved out. No way in hell would I ever do that. I mean it when I say he’ll always have a home, too.

  I lived my teen years in complete uncertainty, never sure if I’d have somewhere safe to sleep for the night
or not. I wouldn’t do that to him.

  As I drive towards the garage, my thoughts are filled with both Jesse and Chloe and how I can officially make them both mine.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Nearly a week later Charlie finally gets patched in. It comes on the coat-tails of a week of grief for Prophet, but also excitement for another generation of Harlows. Beth’s pregnancy seems to keep the mood from dipping too low, despite everyone feeling the loss of the last founding member of our Club.

  Normally, I love a patch in party. Old ladies are not allowed, it’s brothers only and the parties are a riot. Tonight, I’m not feeling it. I don’t know whether it’s because of recent events or what, but I’m not in the mood to celebrate. I put my game face on, though, because gaining a new brother is a big deal and Charlie deserves a good welcome to the family.

  I head to the bar and get another Jack Daniels from Lucas, then find Charlie. He’s talking with Dean and Adam, and he looks a little worse for wear. His blond hair is a tousled mess and his eyes are sitting at half-mast, his glassy gaze moving sluggishly around the room.

  Draping one arm around Charlie’s shoulder, I tug him into my side. “You’re too sober, kid. Get drinking.”

  He’s shit-faced and weaving on his feet, but he grins anyway.

  “I’m plenty drunk,” he responds, slurring over his words.

  I laugh, as do Dean and Adam.

  “I believe you.” I grin.

  “How’s it feel to be a true brother?” Dean asks him before taking a sip of his pint.

  “Fucking amazing,” he admits, and I know what he means.

  Getting my kutte was the best moment of my life—so far. I have a feeling there will be a few new moments that might eclipse it, most of which start with Chloe Allen.

  “It’s good to have you in the family,” I tell him, meaning every word of it.

  Charlie grins. “Thanks.”

  “What’s going on with you and the redhead?” Adam asks. The sudden question has my neck snapping up.

  “I’m wondering why you think I’d share any information on that with you,” I say in a jokey tone.