Love to Hate You: An Enemies to Lovers, Best Friend's Brother Romantic Comedy (The Fillmores Book 2)

by Melissa Schroeder

  She’s still the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. Effortlessly beautiful, the kind you hear other women bitch about. As usual, she barely has any makeup on. She doesn’t really need it and rarely wears it unless we’re filming or making appearances. The freckles that dance over her nose and that peaches and cream complexion make her look like the girl next door. Her full lips are set in a grim line, but that doesn’t stop the familiar fantasy of what they would look like wrapped around my dick. Add in that she has one of the filthiest mouths, which I love…fuck. Okay, I’m in love with her but it will go away. Soon. Like in ten years. Or one hundred.

  “You’re running out of time, Fillmore.”

  The cold, flatness of her voice sends a chill racing through me. I’ve never heard that tone from Nancy before. No, that’s wrong. I’ve heard it before, but never directed at me. She would get mad and yell at me, heat and anger deepening her voice. It is damned sexy to see this woman get mad at me. This is different. Her expression is remote, and her voice drips with icicles it’s so cold. It’s the same way she talks to and about her family. I know they have a shit relationship so that isn’t boding well for me.

  I want to grab her, pull her against me, and beg her not to leave me. Desperation claws at my throat as my mind races from one thing to the next. I’m ready to do anything to get back in her good graces. I would go down on bended knee and beg for another chance. Anything. Jesus, that’s pathetic, but the feeling is so overwhelming, I almost lose control and do just that. I stick my hands in my pockets and curl my fingers.

  Annoyance shimmers in her blue gaze and I try not to let it get to me. I truly deserve it. I was a complete ass this season and if she never talked to me again, I would understand completely. But if I let it freak me out, I won’t be able to convince her to come back to Flipping Texas.

  “I came here to apologize.”

  Nothing, not even a flicker of emotion on her face, in that expressionless face staring back at me. Each second that ticks by, another wound is opened in my heart. Little stabs to my heart that are leaving me feeling hopeless. But I refuse to back down.

  “I know it’s all my fault. I…I can’t explain some of the things I did this season. I thought it would make for good TV.”

  That’s a lie, and from the way her eyes roll, she knows it. That’s the problem with this woman. She knows almost everything about me except the fact that I’m in love with her.

  “Try again.”

  I sigh. I can’t tell her the truth because it will make things even worse. If she came back, it might be out of pity. Our relationship is bad right now, but it would turn toxic then. I would definitely despise her for that, and that’s not what I want. So, I decide to tell her part of the truth.

  “I had that asshole Garrett whispering in my ear. He told me that we needed to get ratings up, that things were slipping. I asked Syd and she said it was a lie, but…I panicked. Really panicked. Plus, Garrett has been around longer than either of us, so I figured he knew what he was talking about.”

  There is a small softening in her stature. If I didn’t know the woman so well, I would have missed it. I know that she has a soft area in her heart for me. It all has to do with Syd, I know that she sees me as part of her family. The fact that I’ve been infatuated with her since I first met her, doesn’t matter. What matters is saving the show and my friendship.

  “Well, he didn’t. He’s…” Her voice trails off.

  “An asshole,” I finish for her. “When Syd told me that you lodged a complaint a couple weeks ago, I added to it. They might just ignore one of us, but not both of us.”

  More softening. “Yeah, Syd told me he’s out.”

  I feel as if I won a victory. “So…”

  “I’m not about to make a decision today.”

  And then my hopes plummet. But I have one last chance and I have to try. Our show, our business is important to me and to her. I can’t let her walk away, because I do know her. I know that walking away will hurt her more because she loves our show as much as I do.

  “Listen, I fucked up everything this season. I think I was just getting a little too big for my britches. My ego…” I shove a hand through my hair and try my best to keep my mind on the subject, but it’s difficult. She’s staring at me with those blue eyes, my thoughts always scatter when she does that. Wisps of my thoughts float away the moment our gazes connect. It’s been like that for years and I don’t think it will ever change. I just have to suck it up.

  “I’m sorry, Nancy. I really am. I hate myself for the way I behaved this season, and I’ll do anything to get you back to the show.”

  She opens her mouth, then snaps it shut. It takes her a few seconds before she finally answers me.

  “I can’t give you an answer right now.”

  That’s better than a no, right? I mean, fuck. I don’t know. I still have hope though.

  “Your five minutes are up.”

  I nod and know that it’s best to retreat right now. Nancy likes to think things through, by herself. “I’ll go but just so you know, I’m not leaving Juniper. I’ll be sticking around.”

  “Where are you planning on staying?”

  I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, but there are no strangers in Juniper. I will find someone to bunk with or sleep at the office. We have a cot and a couch. Both are uncomfortable as hell, but I will deal with that for another chance at saving my show.

  “I’ll deal with it. Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “For at least giving us another chance.”

  Something moves over her expression that I can’t quite figure out, but it disappears before I can.

  “I’m giving the show another chance.”

  What the hell does that mean? I want to ask her that very question, but she’s shuttered her expression, and I can’t take a chance on pissing her off again.

  “I’ll wait to hear from you.” She nods and steps back, opening her door.

  I stop in front of her. “I truly am sorry. For all of it.”

  Then, I walk out of her house not looking behind me. I can’t because I might just fall to my knees and beg her forgiveness. I practically did that back there, but this would be more about my love. About how I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with anything without her.

  I get in my truck and head over to the office. All the while my phone buzzes and I know it’s Syd. I don’t even have to look. She’s always trying to save me from myself. She has been my protector for pretty much our whole lives. Maybe it’s time for me to grow the fuck up.

  I park in front of the office. It’s an older building just off the Main Street. We started work on it before the season and while it isn’t the junk heap it was when we bought it, it isn’t ready to open. That is what we were going to do in the off season.

  It sits on a couple of acres so we can store things we need, and we have plans to buy another plot behind it. Shit. We were, but now…that is all up in the air because I didn’t take care of it. I get myself inside and my phone starts ringing. Of course, it’s Syd and she is in a mood.

  “Why are you ignoring me?” she demands.

  “I was driving.”

  “Hmm, okay. Tell me.”

  You might think this is because of the job. But it’s not. She has always been bossy, but since she has been the person protecting me most of my life, it makes sense. Plus, part of it is the job. We are the most successful show on the network now, so she does have to worry about that. I still can’t believe I’ve screwed up this bad.

  “We left it open. I offered to do anything to get her back on the show. It went a long way that I was with her on getting rid of Garrett.”

  “Yeah, his lawyer has contacted us.”

  “Shit. Sorry about that.”

  “No, it’s okay. Gavin has already looked over the contract and said we were right to fire him. You two weren’t the only ones to complain. There were a few other crew members who lodged complaints.”

 
“Why didn’t they come to us?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because you were being a total jerk. Also, they wanted to make sure it was formal. He was that bad.”

  I don’t refute that because our crew loves both Nancy and me, but I know there were a few of them who weren’t happy with the direction of the show this season. They didn’t voice their concerns to either of us, which was odd.

  “Still, they didn’t go to Nancy.”

  She sighs. “As I said, they wanted to make sure it was a formal complaint. You two would take care of things and the crew knows that, but this was totally different. We can combine the complaints along with the new lawsuit.”

  “Lawsuit?”

  “Yeah, Vanessa Forrester is claiming emotional abuse.”

  A singer and actress, Vanessa is one of the best-known names in reality TV. Two years ago, she had a breakdown and very few people have heard from her since she checked herself into the hospital. There has been no news, no word on new music or movies. She fell off the edge of the Earth practically overnight. Before that, she was always in the top five celebrities on Instagram. She isn’t any longer.

  “Emotional abuse?”

  She sighs. “She alleges that he not only made her life a living hell, but he assaulted her.”

  A chill washes over me. “Damn.”

  “Indeed. It was almost as if she was waiting for him to be fired. Within hours of the news hitting the tabloids, she filed suit.”

  “Did we have any issues like that? Anyone complain about being assaulted by him?”

  “No. A few women said they felt uncomfortable, but nothing this extreme. He worked with Vanessa for over four years. These kinds of guys groom their victims a lot of times. He didn’t have much clout at the network yet, even with his status, so he was probably waiting.”

  My stomach aches a little at the idea that our crew didn’t trust me enough to come to me. It was bad enough that each person went to Syd but avoided me. “Does Nancy know about this?”

  “Not really. I need to talk to her about it because we are going to want to have a long list of grievances when he tries to file countersuit.”

  “She didn’t complain about anything like that, did she?” I would have said before this season, she probably would have told me. I hate to think that she suffered through something like that and didn’t feel she could come to me about it. I’ve failed her in more ways than one.

  “No. Absolutely not. She would have told me, and she would have told you.”

  I sigh. “Maybe not. I just don’t know how much I screwed this up.”

  “It’s bad, but you can repair it. Being there will help.”

  “I’m staying here just in case you were wondering.”

  “Here?”

  “Juniper.”

  There is a beat of silence. “Don’t pressure her.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Because you know how she is. You start bothering her and she will get extremely pissed off and there go your chances.”

  I haven’t had much sleep and I feel ten years older than my thirty years. Add in the stress of the last few days, and well, my temper is fraying just a little. “Jesus, Syd! I told you I gave her space. We left it open and we’ll discuss it. I just thought it better to stay in the area. I’m at the office.”

  “The office? Does it even have running water?”

  “Yes. The plumbing and the bathroom are the two things that are done. We even have a seamless shower.”

  We had a full bath put in knowing that sometimes we might need to clean up here. At least I have that.

  “And if there are any issues, I’ll find someone to stay with.”

  She sighs. “Okay, just make sure you don’t bother her.”

  There is murmuring in the background and I know it’s Grady.

  “I want to make sure he doesn’t.” More murmuring. “Get bent, Hawthorne.”

  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my sister talking to the person she says is the love of her life.

  “Listen, I have some work to do here anyway. Nancy drew up plans for the office and now I have time to work out the price for the remodel.”

  “Fine, but I’m coming this weekend. And yes, Grady, you can come too.”

  Ugh, that is exactly what I need. My sister and her boyfriend—this is your friendly reminder that he’s my boss—so they can witness my begging. I’m dooming myself to working with a woman I have been in love with for close to a decade, and I’m going to have to deal with my sister and Grady making googly eyes at each other.

  “Where are you going to stay?”

  “My BFF happens to have a couple of guest rooms.” More murmuring. “Or maybe we will just come up for the day.”

  “Fine. See ya then.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you.”

  She reminds me again not to bother Nancy, before I finally get off the phone. I don’t know exactly what I will offer up to my cohost, but right now, I will do anything. Because it isn’t about the show. I was hurting, not wanting to deal with the fact that every minute I spend with her is equal parts heaven and hell. I want to be with her as much as I want to stay away from her. But the panic I felt when I thought she might never forgive me…that was real. And I realized one thing this morning: I would rather suffer being her friend than live without her. That would be worse somehow.

  And yes, I know how insane that sounds. Right now, I’m desperate. The show would probably survive, but at what cost? And I know I wouldn’t have much fun on it without her. Nancy and I made that show. We started together as nobodies with good skills and fantastic chemistry on camera. Doing that with another woman would feel like…cheating.

  With a sigh, I look around the office and decide to clear up some of the mess. It was a disaster when I bought it. I’ve fixed all the structural issues, but there’s still items that need to be organized. We picked out paint, which is all stacked haphazardly, and Nancy had lighting fixtures delivered at some point.

  I study them, all of them boxed up, but I can remember the day she talked about them, excitement in her voice, her blue eyes dancing with happiness. I smile at the memory, but it fades pretty quickly. If she doesn’t come back, I’m going to be forced to see the lights every day and think of her. I lift my hand to rub away the pain that hits me square in the chest.

  Yeah, I can’t let that happen. No matter how much it will hurt me to be around her, it isn’t anything compared to doing without her. Failure is not an option.

  Chapter Five

  Nancy

  By the evening, I’ve had to deal with phone calls from my mother and my father. Apparently, my texts didn’t make them happy. Nothing new. I’ve been disappointing them since the morning of my birth.

  I shake my head. I can’t worry about them. They’ll never change, and I stopped trying to make them over a decade ago. Instead, I should be worrying about my grandmother. She’s not the stereotypical grandmother. There’s a reason my father is an asshole. It’s genetic. I haven’t heard a peep from the dragon, which makes me think she’s waiting for me to get comfortable before she pounces. After I send my cousin Jon a nasty text about his stupid app, I decide I should grab something to eat. I’m not much of a cook, but I can make a decent salad.

  As I head to my kitchen, it strikes me how quiet it is. I spend lots of time in Juniper, but for the first time, I realize how alone I am here. Especially now. Now that I’m not traveling around for the show, I could get a pet. I always wanted one, but my grandmother is allergic to dog and cat dander. If I got one, I might be able to keep her at bay. You might think it makes me an asshole to do that to an eighty-year-old woman, but she is the worst. I have never had a kind word from her, and I long ago stopped reaching out to try to bridge our differences. You can only get smacked down so many times before you stop trying.

  Jesus, I’m being morose today. Maybe I need to go into San Antonio. I’m sure there’s another room in Grady’s massive house I can stay in. It
would be fun to just forget about all my issues and hide from everyone. But, if I go, that means I’m running away. I don’t want to deal with this, but that’s what adults do, right?

  A knock at my door stops my thoughts, and I sigh. Maybe I need to go hide somewhere else. Carter said I could have the family suite of rooms in Vegas, and it had seemed insane before. Now, I’m not so sure. I could order room service and wallow. I think it might be a fantastic idea, especially when I spot the sedan in my driveway. I turn to face the door and think about whether or not I want to open it. I’m not in the mood for anyone else, well, other than Syd, but she would have texted before showing up.

  “I know you’re in there, young lady. Open up.”

  I roll my eyes and walk to the door. For once I have it locked, so maybe I need to continue doing that. Especially if people keep just dropping in. When I open it, I find my grandmother, along with her driver Marvin.

  Estella Marie Howard is only five foot three inches tall, so I actually tower over her. Not that it matters how tall I am, since she will always cast a dark shadow over my life. She’s dressed in designer clothes. I can’t remember a time she wasn’t. Three years ago, she had to have surgery and the woman wore Derek Rose silk pjs, which I’m sure cost over a thousand bucks. We have similar builds even if I have three inches on her in height. We both have dark hair—hers short in a severe cut—and blue eyes. There is no doubt that we are related.

  “I’ve been out here for half an hour.”

  Not one peep about missing me. Not a hug or even an air kiss. She hasn’t seen me in months. Sadly, I feel the first rush of memories of the love I had for her when I was younger. I can’t help it. I looked up to her even as she looked down on me for being who I am. And no matter how many years have passed, I still feel that initial burst of love for her. It’s kind of pathetic, but I can’t help who I am, any more than I can change her.

  I push all those feelings away and concentrate on what she wants. The sooner I find that out the sooner I can get rid of her.