I step into my bathroom and close the door. I run the cold water in my sink and splash it on my face. It helps further clear my out of control hormones.
There’s a knock at the door. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”
He hesitates. I know this mainly because the floor doesn’t creak. A full twenty seconds later—I know because I count them—he finally moves away, and I draw in a deep breath. His footsteps fade into the background. I turn off the water and look up at the mirror. Water drips off my face into the sink. I grab a towel and dry it off.
I might have been irritated at first, but I owe the woman on the phone a favor. She did me one by reminding me just what I have always known. Travis would never be interested in his cohost. He likes them busty and kind of stupid. Two things I am not or ever will be.
I just need to remember that sharing a house with Travis isn’t the same as being involved. I need to keep my hands off him and everything will be okay.
And I accept that all of that is probably bullshit.
Chapter Sixteen
Nancy
A few days go by and we start to think that everything was blown out of proportion. Well, I think that way. Travis disagrees. He keeps telling me that it’s only been a few days and that it’s hard to target me if he’s around. He does have a point. We are spending just about every waking moment together. EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT.
It’s been a really long time since we spent time alone like this. Syd would always be there as a buffer, making things easier to deal with. Now, it’s just us and we aren’t getting out much. Josh didn’t tell us to stay home, but we seem to both want to avoid people. And it is as hot as hades outside. We’re both born and bred Texans, spent the majority of our lives in and around the Austin and San Antonio areas, and even we are avoiding this summer heat. It is the hottest one we’ve had in the last decade, so it gives us an easy excuse to stay inside.
We don’t talk at all about the show. It’s like we both know it isn’t time, but it shimmers there in every conversation we have. We’re avoiding it. Travis, because he’s still trying to convince me that he’s changed. Me, because I don’t want to give up on that dream. I shouldn’t want to be part of that show anymore. Travis has been beyond disrespectful. If a man had treated Syd the way he treated me, talking down to me, being dismissive of any idea I’ve had this season, he would tell her to get a new job. But it was our baby. We took a chance and it paid off. Walking away was hard enough when he was being a dick. Now that he’s being understanding and sweet, it’s almost impossible. If the contract was still outstanding, I would definitely change my mind.
It’s Friday night and we’re hanging out at my house. There isn’t that much to do in Juniper after ten, other than Wyatt’s. Well, there is Texas Night Life, a dive outside of town with a BYOB policy. I avoid that place because it tends to have all kinds of problems.
We’re catching up on one of our favorite sitcoms. With our schedule during the season, we miss a lot and since there are a few shows we both like, we tend to stream them together. Or we did, up until last year. I avoided him all of our off season. Or as much as I could. It was the only thing that kept me somewhat sane.
My phone buzzes with a text.
Carter: You know I’m coming tomorrow, right?
I roll my eyes. I love him to death, but he takes a lot of work. His poor mother must have been overwhelmed. I know I would start drinking if I had a five-year-old Carter to deal with. As it is, he’s about Travis’ age and he’s barely slowed down. He also thinks the whole world revolves around him.
Me: I know.
“Who ya texting with?” I glance up.
“Carter wanted to inform me he’s coming tomorrow.”
His smile dissolves in the blink of an eye. He mutters something under his breath that I can’t make out.
“What’s up with you two? I thought you were on friendly terms.”
“We were.”
“But not anymore?”
He shakes his head and turns his attention back to the TV.
“What happened?”
He shrugs as he keeps his gaze glued to the screen, which is stupid because it’s just credits. I know he’s avoiding this discussion. “Travis.”
“I don’t like him sniffing around you. He has a reputation.”
This again. “Are you kidding me?”
He looks at me then. Anger shimmers in his eyes. “No.”
“You? The guy who finds himself a woman at each and every location? That’s rich.”
“What’s that mean?”
“You’re no better than he is.”
“That’s bullshit. I never lie about my intentions.”
“Carter never does either. Tell me this: Do you think all those women in little towns just want to bang you? You know a lot of them are hoping that you take them away.”
“That’s not true.” But I can hear the doubt in his voice.
“Besides, Carter and I have an understanding.” That understanding is that we are just friends, but I don’t have to tell Travis that.
“Oh, do you?”
As if to prove my point, my phone buzzes again.
Carter: Stay safe, Nancy girl, and remember we can also go hide in Vegas if you want.
I don’t respond because he doesn’t expect it. We have a truly platonic relationship. We’ve gotten to know each other better in the last month or so, and we even tried kissing. It would have been so great to lose myself in a fling with a man like Carter, but we knew right away that we had no spark. So, we decided on just being friends.
Travis snatches my phone up.
“Hey, that’s rude.” I take it back but not before he gets a gander at my conversation with Carter.
“Vegas? What the hell, Nancy?”
I stare at him wondering at this behavior. I thought that he just didn’t like Carter, but when I went back in my memory, I remember both of them getting along just fine. I have no idea what happened.
“I’ve already told him no. Other than the fact that it’s Vegas in July, I think a place like that isn’t a good idea right now. If I am being stalked, it would be worse than San Antonio. So many different people and all that. Josh said to stay put and for now and I’m listening to him.”
“Then why did Carter mention it?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t have to explain my personal life to you.”
Oh, he does not like that. Anger flares in his eyes. “So, you admit that you do have a relationship with him.”
He says it in a tone that suggests having a relationship with Carter Hawthorne—one of the most eligible billionaire bachelors in the country—is about the same level as killing puppies and feasting on their blood.
“I do.”
Yes, I’m being an ass. I know what I’m implying, but the fact that Travis is judging me about this is beyond the pale. That jerk has a different woman in every location we film, but I can’t have a relationship with a very attractive man, who apparently finds me fascinating. He does. He told me the first night I met him and at least once a week since then.
“And when were you going to tell me?”
I frown. This is getting stranger by the minute. I’ve dated guys in the past and Travis has never acted like this. So weird. Before I can answer him, he makes a disgusted noise, then pops up off the couch. “Never mind.” He stomps over to the security panel, punches in the code, then stomps off. I hear his bedroom door shut a few seconds later. Not a slam, but a definite click.
What the actual hell was that? I’ve never seen Travis act like that. It was almost as if he were jealous of Carter, but I don’t get it. That would mean he had feelings for me outside of our friendship, and I know that’s not true. A guy doesn’t care about you and act the way he did to me.
My phone buzzes and I expect to see a message from Carter, but this one is from Travis. Okay, this is getting really weird.
Travis: Sorry. I was being
an ass. Just don’t want you to get hurt.
Of course. He worries about me like he worries about Syd. It’s insane that I’m still acting like some goofy fifteen-year-old with a crush.
Me: No prob. Night.
Travis: Night.
I go to my room, ignoring the need to pause in front of his door. I can’t do that for a couple of reasons. One, he would hear me. And that leads to number two: he would hear me and know. Just know that I’m in love with him.
After a quick shower, I settle in bed wondering about my infatuation with him. It isn’t like it’s the only time I’ve ever been interested in a man who might not be interested in me. Usually, I walk away without a problem. I kept thinking the show is at fault for it. But…I don’t think that’s the case. It can’t be our friendship because that has been almost non-existent the last eighteen months. Well, expect for appearances. Most people would think our arguing is just banter. It hasn’t been that for a long time.
I miss our friendship, but there isn’t much I can do about it right now. But even as I slip under the covers, I know I will not rest well at all.
Saturday morning dawns and we’re barely out of bed before the front door swings open. Syd rushes into the kitchen, ignoring Travis and wraps her arms around me.
“I missed you!” she screams
I laugh, all my worries dissolving just a bit in the presence of Syd. She’s been my best friend since the moment we met. I’d been worried about the stalking, but I’d been forcing it to the back of my mind. With Syd here, I can let myself go a little bit. I never worry about showing her my soft underbelly. She will always be there to protect me.
“I missed you too, psycho.”
“Hey, I’m here too,” Travis says, sarcasm dripping from every word.
“I saw you the other day.” Syd doesn’t even glance his way. She pulls back and looks at me. Her smile fades. “You’re not sleeping.”
“I am. We’re doing a lot of streaming.”
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Carter says. I turn and find the youngest Hawthorne smiling at all of us. There’s a reason he is on a lot of eligible bachelor lists. He’s just one of those guys, always smiling, his hair is beautifully arranged in that way that makes it look like it isn’t.
Travis nods in his direction, still being standoffish, which is weird. Carter picks up on Travis’ behavior, from the odd look he gives my cohost. Then, he turns is attention back to me. After Syd finally lets me go—I was worried she might not—Carter gives me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. There is nothing sexual or flirty at all about it.
“Hey, Travis,” Grady says.
“Hey.” That’s all Travis says as he keeps throwing nasty looks in Carter and my direction.
“So, I hear there is barbecue in my future,” Carter says. “I so need some. This week as has been a bitch.”
“Why do people say that?” I ask. “I think we need to start saying it’s a real bastard. That’s worse, right?”
“Hmm, I have to agree with that,” Carter says. “In fact, that needs to be something I put on my Instagram.”
“God help us,” Grady mutters and I laugh. Carter isn’t a bad man, but he can be a little…naughty. Or he had been, but I know lately he’s been working a lot. The new club he’s opening in Vegas is almost ready, and then there’s one he’s doing in Manhattan. He might pretend to be a playboy, but he’s anything but. He’s made a name for himself by opening clubs in several major cities, and there are plans for international locations in the coming years.
“What? My followers expect good content.”
The brothers look like they are about to start bickering, so Syd steps forward, grabs my arm and pulls me through the kitchen. I know she wants some girl time, but I stop her. “Not without coffee.”
Moments later, we’re in my bedroom, me sitting in an easy chair next to my window, and her on my bed. She makes herself at home.
“So, how’s it going here?”
I shrug. “It’s kind of…I don’t know. Weird I guess is the best way to describe it. I feel like this might all be overkill, but I’m not stupid. I don’t want to take any chances.”
She studies me for a long moment, then she asks, “Are you talking about this new development or your relationship with my brother?”
I feel my face heat. “Syd.”
“No. I want to talk about it.”
“I don’t.”
She sits up and frowns at me. “You need to talk to someone about it. I’m that someone.”
“You’re his sister.”
“So?”
“It’s weird.”
“Let’s start and if it gets too uncomfortable, I’ll stop.”
That’s a lie and we both know it. Being best friends was never about easy with us. We always had each other’s back, but we always seem to know when to push. Apparently, Syd’s decided that this is the time to start pushing me.
“What?”
“Tell me. Come on. I know how you feel and why you haven’t told me is beyond me.”
“It’s embarrassing. He’s your brother. Your younger brother.”
“Age doesn’t matter unless he’s jailbait, which he is not.”
“And the fact that this crush might be the reason I need to walk away from my dream…it’s embarrassing.”
“First, let’s get this straight. You’re walking away—hopefully not—but you are walking away because of Travis’ behavior, but also because the network thought Garrett Howard was a good idea.”
“He was not.” Something passes over her expression. “What?”
“First, you know I was against hiring him, right? As much as I love reality TV, whenever he took over a show, it went to crap. Sure, the ratings went up, but the content was just gross.”
“Yeah.”
She had been vocal about it at the time, but she was only Grady’s executive assistant at the time. Now as our liaison, she has more clout.
“I thought we didn’t need to mess with the formula. I mean, you’re the top show. Plus, last season had been a little rocky and introducing someone like Garrett is always dicey. I thought it wasn’t the best time to try something out like that. And I’ve been proven right. We let his contract go and now he’s trying to sue us. He’s freaking the fuck out.”
“Why? I mean…I know that he has a reputation for being an ass, but his shows do well.”
“As I said, women are coming out of the woodwork all of a sudden.”
There’s something in her tone that tells me she knows more. “Syd?”
“Don’t ask. Just know that whatever he decides isn’t going to fly. So, there’s that. Gavin has said that Garrett’s screwed.”
Grady’s twin is a wicked good lawyer, so he probably made sure the contract was ironclad. “Good.”
“So, let’s talk other things.”
I sigh. “I don’t know what’s going on. He’s been weird. Like how he just acted toward Carter. I mean, they used to be friendly.”
“Jealousy.”
I roll my eyes. “Come on, Syd. You know better. He’s not jealous over me.”
“Uh, yeah he is. You know he had a crush on you in high school. And college.”
“And he outgrew it. Seriously.”
She scoots the end of the bed and leans forward to look at me. “Let me tell you what I see.”
I nod but don’t say anything. I hide behind my mug, sipping at my coffee, trying to stop the thrumming pulse in my neck.
“You started working together on the show. You saw him as your BFF’s little brother. And then, you didn’t. Probably because you had to coach him through all the episodes.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
She shakes her head. “You know everyone tells me everything, right? I knew, but you had it handled, and I felt it was between the two of you. So, there you are that first season, he needs you, but you also start seeing him as a man, not that little annoying twat who tagged along when we were behaving i
nappropriately. How close am I?”
I shrug.
“There you are, with a guy that you know better than anyone but me, and you fall for him. Mainly because he’s a good guy. Sure, he’s been an ass the last eighteen months or so, but he’s really one of the decent guys. And you fall hard. Don’t think I noticed you staying out of the dating pool for the most part. How close am I?”
“If I say pretty close, are you going to be smug?”
She shakes her head. “You’re both hurting and you’re both my family. It’s killing me not to kick his ass over it.”
“Don’t. Please.”
“Now, tell me about this new girl. What has he said about her?”
“The one from Amarillo?” She nods. “Nothing really. Just that she was a buffer. He never explained that.”
Her expression clears. “That’s what I thought. They’re all buffers.”
Her tone tells me that she thinks she revealed something amazing, but I’m still a little stumped. “What?”
“All those women were buffers because he still loves you. He thinks that you would never accept him.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Nope. I don’t think so. It’s a theory I’ve had for a while and I thought to keep it to myself. But you two are being dumbasses.”
“Hey!”
She shrugs. “Seriously. So stupid.”
“Says the woman who had a crush on Grady for how long.”
“I did not have a crush on him. My lady parts did, as all lady parts should. Well, unless the lady parts in question go for other lady parts.”
“You can say lesbian.”
She snorts. “I didn’t want it to mess up my theme. But, back to you and Travis. I love you both, and I hate to see you in so much pain. Just know that some of his actions might have been out of desperation. He would never step over that line.”
“Line?”
“Please, tell me you aren’t that dense, Nancy.”
She only uses that tone when she’s irritated. “I must be because I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”
Love to Hate You: An Enemies to Lovers, Best Friend's Brother Romantic Comedy (The Fillmores Book 2) Page 16
