Harlequin Love Inspired March 2021--Box Set 1 of 2

by Marta Perry

  He’d been right to hire Eden. She was the dream babysitter every parent longed for. In her capable hands, his girls would be all right. He just had to be careful on a personal level. Eden didn’t seem to like him much, anyhow. But if she changed her mind about him…he’d be tempted to explore the possibilities with her.

  The truth was he didn’t know Eden all that well.

  And it was best if he kept it that way.

  CHAPTER THREE

  This arrangement wasn’t working.

  The following Saturday morning, Eden bit into a cinnamon roll as she strolled to the park. She’d stopped for coffee and picked up the pastry on her way to meet Ryder. The first day of May held the scent of possibility, or maybe it was the smell of the grass coming back to life after a snowy winter. Either way, the sun was shining.

  The blue skies would help her deliver bad news. It would be cruel to hurt someone, even Ryder, on a gray day.

  A white gazebo ahead encouraged her to come on in, but she decided to sit at a picnic table on the lawn to let the sun warm her face. The temperature was still cool enough to need her winter coat. At least she’d been able to leave her hat and gloves behind.

  For the past three days she’d been trying to come up with a solution to her babysitting problem. Her apartment was too small for the children. And late in the afternoon, music from the dance studio below distracted the girls. Eden had learned to tune it out ages ago, but on the days Brittany held classes, the twins, already tired, struggled to pay attention and grew ornery.

  If only Eden still lived on the ranch. It had been perfect for babysitting. The rambling farmhouse had a large family room in addition to the other common areas. Eden and Mia had played a million games in there, and more recently, Eden had spent many special days with Mia’s son in there. She and Noah had read stories, played games and made too many crafts to count. When the weather was nice, they’d always go outside.

  She couldn’t imagine what the farmhouse looked like now. Her chest crumbled like an old sponge. She missed it. The day she’d said goodbye to it had been a low point for her. All the memories of Mia and her childhood were wrapped up in those walls. Were the pencil lines in the closet where Dad had measured them each year still there?

  “Nice day, isn’t it?”

  She hadn’t noticed Ryder striding up. His broad grin made her stomach drop like the first hill of a roller coaster. He wore loose-fitting jeans and a Henley under an unzipped jacket. A cowboy hat covered his hair.

  “It is.” Now that he was here, she had no idea what to say. She wanted to babysit the girls, but she didn’t see how she could continue. Three small children bouncing off one another was stressful, and she couldn’t continue to put them through an hour of music blaring at the precise time they were most tired.

  “I take it you have something on your mind.” He weaved his legs into the picnic table to sit opposite her.

  Usually looking at his face turned her insides mushy, but the bags under his eyes and his drawn cheeks concerned her. He looked exhausted. And dejected. He was clearly making an effort to hide his mood behind a smile.

  “Rough first week on the ranch?” she asked gently.

  “Why?” His eyebrows drew together. “Did someone say something?”

  “No, you look tired, that’s all.”

  “Oh.” He ran his hand down his cheek. “I guess I am.”

  “Not used to getting up at the crack of dawn to check cattle, are you?”

  “It’s getting easier.” With that he yawned. “It is, really. Ignore that.”

  “What are you doing about night checks?” Funny, she hadn’t considered how being a single dad on the ranch would affect calving. Her father had gone out at all hours of the night to check pregnant cows. His calving season began in March, was heaviest in April and finished in May. Cold weather and late storms always affected the herd. She hoped they wouldn’t get more snow.

  “I hired two people to take shifts in the night. Charlie agreed to stay on through June. Naomi might, too.”

  “Smart. That way you won’t have to leave Harper and Ivy alone.” She wondered if it bothered him to not be out there checking the cattle himself, though.

  “Exactly. I’m thankful for the extra help. The cows…” His lips drew together in a tight line.

  “What’s wrong with them?” She ticked through the various cattle issues her father had dealt with over the years. Malnutrition, freezing to death, losing newborn calves, predators…

  “Everyone can see I’m new at this, including the cows.” His jaw shifted, then he met her eyes and his expression softened. “Some of those new moms are ornery.”

  “Don’t I know it.” She stared off into the distance as the memories came back. “Dad used to come in cussin’ up a storm when he had to deal with a protective mama cow.”

  His mouth curved upward but fell just as quickly.

  She’d helped Dad with the cattle until she graduated high school. It wasn’t her favorite thing in the world, but spending time with him and the ranch hands had taught her many tricks about raising cattle in the harsh Wyoming climate. She’d helped out in almost any situation whenever the need arose.

  “I know raising cattle is new for you,” she said, “but the rest of it isn’t. You grew up in Montana, right? So you’re used to the weather. And raising sheep means you had to deal with a lot of the same things we do. Keeping them safe, fed and alive are the top priorities. Don’t worry. You’ll get it.”

  He met her eyes then, and she took a sharp intake of breath at the gratitude radiating from them. He must have had a rough week if a few sentences of encouragement from her were helping him.

  “You sure about that?” he asked. “I feel about as green as a new blade of grass, and everyone who works for me can see it, too.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. They’ll think you’re an amateur for a while.” She’d seen the way they teased each other. Cowboys had to earn respect in these parts, even when they owned the ranch. “They’ll respect you eventually. How bad is it?”

  “I’ll survive.”

  “By this time next year, you’ll not only be the boss, but they’ll look at you like one, too.”

  “Yeah, well, I hope by this time next year, I’ll be worthy of their respect. I almost lost a calf yesterday, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. How can anyone look up to their boss if he can barely keep a fresh-born calf alive?”

  “What happened?” Her forgotten coffee stood to the side, and she sipped it, still warm, as he shook his head.

  “I drove the UTV to a group of cows with a bunch of calves born during the past two weeks. There in the middle of them was a mother and a fresh calf next to her. The baby was kneeling on his front legs and not getting up.”

  “She had the baby right in the middle of them?” Eden frowned. “Something must have been off.”

  “You think so?” He shrugged one shoulder. “Anyhow, I went up to it, and the mama took a step back—”

  “Wait, she let you draw near without a fuss?”

  “Yeah, she stayed close to the calf, but she let me check him out.”

  “Something really must have been off,” she muttered. Pregnant cows usually separated from the other cattle to have their babies, and they typically pawed at the ground to protect the calf when someone came near.

  “Well, I tagged him and tried to get him to stand, but he couldn’t support himself. I didn’t know what to do. I was going to leave him, figuring the mother would take charge, but I kept thinking something wasn’t right. Last week I witnessed a dozen births, and none of them were like this. I hemmed and hawed for a good ten minutes and finally called Chris. He told me to take him to the calf warmer in the shop. After a couple of hours, Chris weighed him, got him on his feet, and I took him back to his mom. He was still pretty wobbly.”

  “Did he nurse?”r />
  “Yeah. He’s okay now. But I didn’t even think of getting him to the warmer.” He shook his head in disgust. “Chris told me he was quite a bit larger than most of our calves, and the mother probably struggled to give birth to him. The little guy might not have had the energy to stand.”

  For the past year, she’d believed Ryder thought only about himself, but this version of him wasn’t lining up with the one in her head. This Ryder wasn’t egotistical. He cared about the cattle, and he was humble enough to admit he needed help. “Well, now you know.”

  “True. But what else don’t I know that could affect the herd? I’d hate to lose a calf due to my lack of knowledge.”

  “You have plenty of ranch hands and a brother a few miles down the road. You don’t have to be an expert right now.” She almost reached over to cover his hand but stopped herself. What would possess her to consider such a thing? She wasn’t going to voluntarily touch him.

  “Thanks, Eden. I needed the pep talk.” His face had more color, and he didn’t look as tired. “Now, what did you want to discuss?”

  She mentally cringed. How could she kick a guy when he was down?

  What was the alternative, though? For years she’d accommodated her friends when they needed her even when it wasn’t ideal for her, and the accommodation needed to stop.

  I can’t keep going along with other people’s plans because it’s good for them. It needs to be good for me, too.

  “My apartment is too small to watch the girls,” she said. “This isn’t working out.”

  * * *

  As if he didn’t have enough problems… Ryder slumped. Between the ranch hands exchanging raised eyebrows at his inexperience, his own high expectations of sliding into the role of cattle rancher, and the girls waffling between highs and lows, the one highlight of the move had been not worrying about the twins while Eden watched them. And now she wasn’t going to?

  She had to.

  He couldn’t let her quit.

  “Okay, we’ll come up with a solution.” His mind raced in circles like a dog chasing its tail. “Space is the issue?”

  She looked down at her coffee cup. “It’s not the only one.”

  “Is it the girls? Are they acting up?” A fire roared in his core. They’d always been affectionate, happy children. Sure, Harper could be high energy, and Ivy sulked for reasons he’d never understand, but all in all, they were good kids. Weren’t they?

  “No, of course not, they’re wonderful.” She sounded so offended; the fire inside him immediately doused. “No, it truly is my space or lack of it. Kids their age need room to run and move. They’re bouncing off the walls and off each other. My table is too small for their art projects, and the days Brittany has classes, the music comes straight up to my apartment. It bothers the twins, and I hate seeing them ornery because of it.”

  “So, watch them at my place.” Problem solved. The tension gripping his neck relaxed.

  Her face went completely blank. Grew a tad green. “I couldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s…” She appeared to be struggling for words. “I have Phoebe, too.”

  “So?” He didn’t mind her babysitting Gabby’s little girl at his house. “My ranch is closer to Dylan and Gabby’s new home than your place anyhow. What’s the problem?”

  “It’s not happening.” The words came out rapid-fire.

  “Why not?”

  “It would be too weird.”

  Was she worried about being alone on the ranch with him? She had nothing to fear. He was so busy checking cattle, feeding them, coming up with spreadsheets to track their nutrition and trying to keep up with repairs that he could barely breathe.

  “We wouldn’t be alone.” He held his palms out. “And even if we were, you wouldn’t have to worry about me. I’ve got two priorities—the girls and my ranch. I’m never getting married again, either, so rest easy.”

  “That’s not what I was talking about.” Her expression had a horrified tinge to it. “I’m not interested in you like that. I mean, you’re the identical twin of my brother-in-law. Do you really think I’d ever be attracted to someone who looks exactly like my dead sister’s husband? Ew.”

  Put in those terms…

  He stretched his neck from side to side. Eden had never found him attractive? He could see her point—she’d been related to Mason before her sister died. And their friendship had continued for years. But he wasn’t Mason, even if he was his double.

  And Ryder was definitely attracted to Eden. Had been from the minute he’d met her.

  It was just as well. Attraction could lead to more dangerous emotions—like love. And he wasn’t doing that again.

  She shivered, burrowing deeper into her jacket.

  “Are you cold?” he asked. “We can take this to Riverview Lounge where it’s warmer.”

  “I’m fine.”

  A long silence stretched. He kept turning over the fact she wasn’t interested in him and didn’t find him attractive because of Mason. The idea wouldn’t have occurred to him in a million years. Strangely enough, it was like dangling forbidden fruit in front of him.

  “What are you doing today?” He’d dropped Harper and Ivy off at Mason’s to play with Noah this morning so he could meet Eden here. He figured once he was done, he’d take the girls on a ride around the ranch. Show them all the calves and cows. They’d love it. But with Eden giving him a hard time about babysitting…maybe it was time he brought her to the ranch. Let her see for herself it was the perfect solution to her space problem.

  “I have plans.” She sat primly with her hands in her lap.

  “What kind of plans?”

  “Plans that are none of your business.”

  Her closed-off tone matched her closed-off expression. He missed the ray of friendship she’d shown him mere moments ago.

  “Why don’t you like me, Eden?”

  “I like you.” It sounded weak.

  “Never mind. You don’t have to like me. I just—the girls need you. Come to the house. Look it over and tell me if it will work for babysitting.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Both.”

  She was honest. He’d give her that.

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s too hard.” Only then did he notice how much emotion she seemed to be bottling in. “It was…home.”

  The word was infused with reverence, longing and loss. He knew she’d been living with her parents until last year. He’d assumed she’d moved into the apartment above Brittany’s studio to get some independence. Now he wasn’t so sure.

  “I don’t know what to say. Your parents were selling it. I feel like I should apologize, but I’m not sure what I’d be apologizing for.”

  She ducked her chin, avoiding his eyes.

  “If you come over, you’ll see it’s got plenty of room for all three of the kids.” Ryder couldn’t afford to lose her—neither could the twins. “The big room in the back is practically empty. You can order any furniture and supplies you need. I’ll pay for them.”

  “Noah and I spent a lot of time in the family room when I babysat him.” Her thoughtful expression was like when the sun peeked through the clouds. Full of light.

  “See? You already know what to do with it.” He uncurled his legs from the bench, rounded the table and held out his hand. “The girls are at Mason’s. Come on. I’ll take you to the ranch. At least look it over before you say no to babysitting there.”

  Ignoring his hand, she stood. “I don’t want to babysit at your house.”

  “It was your home. I get it. I can’t change that.”

  “I’m not asking you to.” Gone was her feisty tone, replaced by resignation.

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “It’s complic
ated.”

  “I need you, Eden. Harper and Ivy need you. This move has been hard, and you’re making it easy on them. And on me.”

  Eden rubbed her temples, then exhaled loudly. “Fine. You win. I’ll babysit at your place. Starting Monday morning.”

  “This isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about solving a problem.”

  “Well, it feels like losing to me.”

  “I don’t want you to feel that way. I mean, if there’s any other thing you can think of—I want to work this out…” He didn’t know what would make her happy.

  “There isn’t. You’re right. It will be easier on everyone.”

  He could practically hear the words except me at the end.

  “It might feel less win or lose if I give you the tour.”

  “No thanks.” She stood.

  “At least let me drop you off at your place.” He hitched his chin toward his truck parked behind them.

  “I’ll walk.”

  As she turned to leave, he didn’t feel like a winner, either. Maybe this was a lose-lose for both of them. The fact was he liked confiding in Eden. Had needed her encouragement about the ranch. And now a wall was up—a wall because of him.

  He should be happy about it.

  Eden was uncomplicated with everyone but him. He should let her build as many walls as she needed to keep an emotional distance between them.

  Yeah, right.

  The more walls she built, the more he’d want to tear them down. In fact, if he knew himself at all, he’d make sure every one of her walls were rubble before summer was over. And then where would he be?

  He couldn’t go through another heartbreak. Instead of worrying about her walls, he’d be smart to erect a few of his own.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The moment she’d been dreading had finally arrived. Eden trudged up the walkway to the front porch of her childhood home Monday morning and stopped before the porch steps. The weather had grown nasty overnight with freezing temperatures and gusty winds. The cold struck her cheeks, but she barely noticed. What if she went inside and the changes to her home were too much? What if she had an emotional meltdown in front of the twins?