Harlequin Love Inspired March 2021--Box Set 1 of 2

by Marta Perry

  Welcoming. Warm. A haven.

  Her haven.

  If she needed reminding that it was no longer hers and wouldn’t be again, Ryder’s terseness accomplished it. His less attractive qualities had come out full force, reminding her why she hadn’t liked being around him until recently. They’d been getting along better, but it had only distracted her from her goals.

  As much as she enjoyed spending time with the girls, she had to keep in mind that the next few months were going to fly by. And when they were over, what was she going to do?

  She’d put off long-term planning. But tonight was as good as any to start researching her options. If she didn’t, her life would be in even worse shape come September, and then where would she be?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  He wasn’t the outsider looking in anymore.

  Ryder had invited everyone over for pizza tonight. He stood with Mason, Dylan and local rancher Judd Wilson in his living room Friday evening. Eden, Gabby, Brittany and Nicole Taylor chatted and took care of Phoebe and the triplets in the family room. Harper, Ivy and Noah were upstairs singing at the tops of their lungs. Ryder hoped there would be many more gatherings with his new friends.

  When he and Mason first met, he’d learned about Mason’s support group with Gabby, Eden and Nicole. It had made him long to have a support group, too. People he could share his problems with and who would pray for him. Their group no longer formally met, but they were all still very close.

  “The storm earlier this week did a number on a few of my calves. I hope yours are all right.” Judd gestured to Ryder and Mason. “I’m ready for the weather to get warm again.”

  Mason blew out a loud breath. “It was touch and go for two of my pregnant cows, but they all made it out alive, and for that I’m grateful.”

  “I lost another calf this week.” Ryder had spent almost a decade confident in his abilities in the financial world. But ranching? Not so much. He doubted himself on a daily basis. “The first one was my fault. I should have checked on the mother, and I… I got distracted. The second one was stillborn.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up.” Judd’s eyebrows drew together as he nodded. “It comes with the territory.”

  “Yeah, I had no experience when I moved here last summer,” Dylan said. “If it wasn’t for my boss, I wouldn’t have any idea what to do with the cattle. Just keep praying.”

  “I’m trying.” Ryder didn’t need to hide his mistakes. These guys weren’t judging him. And he did pray every night for the Lord’s guidance with the ranch. “How’s married life treating you, by the way, Dylan?”

  “Good. Real good.” Dylan grinned. “Gabby makes life special. And Phoebe gets cuter every day. She calls me dada now.”

  “I think I’m ready for another one.” Mason puffed out his chest. “It’s been too long since I’ve been called dada.”

  Ryder was surprised, but then again, he shouldn’t be. It was natural for Mason to want more children now that he’d remarried.

  “I don’t blame you. I can’t wait for Phoebe to have a little sister or brother.” Dylan then turned to Judd. “Have you and Nicole set a date?”

  “We’re working on it. Something simple. July, maybe,” Judd said. “Her hands are pretty full at the moment.”

  They all turned to look through the archway at the women. Eden was playing patty-cake with Phoebe on her lap, and Brittany, Gabby and Nicole each held a triplet. Those babies looked good in their arms. For the first time, Ryder realized he might want another child, too.

  Another baby? That wasn’t going to happen.

  Eden looked up just then and met his eyes. A flash of heat spread from his head to his toes. They’d been civil to each other all week. Hadn’t spent much time together or anything, and he’d been careful to come home on time each day. The twins were happy. That was the important thing.

  Staring into Eden’s soulful brown eyes left a yearning inside, though, similar to the one he’d experienced seeing those triplets just now. She broke eye contact first and returned her attention to Phoebe. The chubby toddler with dark curls squealed in delight.

  Eden would make a terrific mother.

  He gulped.

  Nope. Wasn’t going there.

  He had no doubt Eden would eventually marry and have children of her own. But he wouldn’t be involved. Couldn’t be. He’d already gotten burned once, and frankly, his girls continued to get the short end of the stick from their mother. He hadn’t heard from Lily since their conversation on Monday. No flight plans or dates had been set for a visit.

  He’d made the right decision to not tell the girls she planned on coming. The woman changed her mind for the hollowest reasons without thinking how it would affect her daughters or him.

  There had been a time when he’d thought Lily would be a terrific mother. She’d convinced him she wanted children and that her only dream was to be a stay-at-home mom. He’d told her if she wanted a career, it was fine with him. But she’d insisted she wanted to stay home. Then, after giving birth to the twins, Lily had gone behind his back and hired a nanny. She’d started auditioning again. He’d been the last to know.

  She’d ignored the babies to focus on her career. She’d landed the lead in a highly anticipated movie. It had taken her away for months. She’d accepted roles on more projects until everything came to a head on the day of the twins’ third birthday. He’d planned a big party for them, and that morning, Lily had pulled him aside and told him she wanted a divorce. She’d not only fallen in love with her director, but she was moving in with the guy.

  She hadn’t even stuck around for the girls’ party.

  His life had never been the same.

  It had been a little over two years now, and he was still dealing with the fallout. He’d always be dealing with it. If he would have opened his eyes to acknowledge what was happening, he wouldn’t have been so blindsided by Lily’s betrayal.

  “Ryder?” Mason asked.

  He shook his thoughts back to now. “Yes?”

  Laughing, Mason clapped his hand on his shoulder. “We boring you?”

  “No, no. Sorry. What were you saying?”

  “We’re discussing moving the cattle to their summer pastures.”

  “Oh, right.” Another thing he knew little about. “Tell me all your secrets.”

  “Secrets?” Mason chuckled. “There’s not much to tell.”

  “I wait until the grass is coming in good,” Judd said. “Toward the end of May is about right. Early June is fine, too.”

  They continued the discussion until the women came and joined them.

  “It’s about time I took these three home.” Nicole held Amelia, the lone girl triplet, as she smiled at Judd.

  “No problem.” Judd nodded, taking the baby from her. Amelia yawned and wrapped her chubby arms around his neck.

  “Yeah, we’d better take off, too,” Dylan said to Gabby.

  “I’d better get Noah.” Mason moved toward the staircase, but Ryder stopped him.

  “Noah can spend the night here if you want. We love having him around.”

  “I appreciate it, but not tonight. Brittany and I have a surprise planned for him tomorrow.”

  After the couples said their goodbyes, Ryder closed the door behind them and returned to the kitchen. Eden was transferring pizza slices from one box to another. He took the empty box from her hands.

  “You didn’t need to do that.” He folded the box. He’d add it to his burn pile later. “I can clean up.”

  “It’ll only take a minute.” She blushed.

  Everything about Eden was sincere. She did so many behind-the-scenes chores without expecting recognition or thanks.

  Eden Page was refreshing.

  Yeah, and you thought Lily was all that and a bag of chips way back when, too.

  But Eden was noth
ing like his ex, and the evening was ending too soon for his taste. “Do you have more than a minute?”

  “Why?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”

  “No.” He shrugged. “We haven’t had much time to talk, that’s all.”

  “What do you want to talk about?” She faced him then, blinking in confusion.

  “I don’t know. This house. The town. Life in Wyoming.” Anything she wanted. Anything at all. “Or are you in a hurry to go home?”

  “I’m not in a hurry.”

  “Good. Let’s go to the living room. Stay for a while.”

  * * *

  She shouldn’t be staying at all, let alone for a while. Eden opened her mouth to decline, but the vulnerability in Ryder’s expression stopped her. To be honest, she didn’t want the night to end yet, either.

  “Daddy, can we watch Cinderella?” Ivy asked. Her face was flushed. Harper came up behind her, yawning widely.

  “Not tonight. It’s past your bedtime.” Ryder shook his head. “Go upstairs and get your pj’s on. I’ll be up in a minute to tuck you in.”

  “But Daddy…” both girls wailed.

  “No buts. It’s late.”

  They wore matching pouty faces and stomped out of the room.

  “You.” He pointed both index fingers to Eden. “Stop cleaning. Go get comfortable on the couch. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  She suppressed a smile and wiped down the countertops while he went upstairs. She could hear him teasing the girls and their subsequent giggles. Her heart squeezed at the precious sounds. When the kitchen was clean, she dimmed the lights and went to the living room. A large sectional faced the fireplace with a massive television to the right of it. She found a spot in the corner of the sectional and reached over for a soft throw before settling it across her lap.

  Yesterday Ryder had mentioned having everyone over for pizza tonight and expressly told her he wanted her there. It had meant a lot to her. So after babysitting the girls all day, she’d stayed, and it had felt good. Honestly, entertaining her friends here had felt more than good—it had felt natural. Like she was cohosting the gathering.

  She frowned. She wasn’t cohosting it, though. This wasn’t her house. Ryder and the twins weren’t her family.

  Good gravy, why was she being so hard on herself? She’d spent every night this week researching going back to college. She deserved a break. It was okay to enjoy tonight. It didn’t mean anything.

  “Sorry about that.” Ryder strode into the room and took a seat on the sectional with her. He was far enough away to not be awkward but close enough for her to be aware of him. “I give it ten minutes before they’re out cold.”

  “We had a busy day.”

  “I know.” He shifted, relaxing into the corner so he could face her better. “I still can’t get over how much you manage to pack into your time with them.”

  “I love it.” She did. Babysitting the twins gave her the chance to do some of the projects she’d been saving. They tucked into each task with gusto. “I’ve always enjoyed organizing activities and spending time with kids.”

  “I can tell.” His eyes darkened with appreciation. The hair on her arms rose. When he looked at her like that, it was hard to concentrate. “You’re making this move so much easier than I anticipated. I’ve been so focused on the ranch and learning about the cattle it hasn’t left me nearly enough time to do the things I want to for the girls.”

  “Like what?”

  “I promised Ivy she could have a kitten, and Harper wants to learn how to ride horses. The weather hasn’t been nice enough to fully explore the ranch. I know they’re going to love it. And I want to take them fishing this summer.” His voice trailed off at the end as if he was getting discouraged.

  “You don’t have to do everything at once.” Eden hadn’t realized he was putting so much pressure on himself.

  “I worry I won’t get around to it at all.” He scratched his chin. “This has been harder than I thought.”

  “Which part?” Ranching? Taking the girls out of California? No longer living near their mother? Adjusting to life in the country?

  “Balancing cattle ranching with raising the girls.”

  “Ah.” She nodded. “It’s not easy.”

  His face fell. “No, it’s not.”

  Empathy poured in. All week she’d paid attention to his interaction with Harper and Ivy. Despite the bags under his eyes and the worry lines marking his forehead, he’d grin and hug them both, asking them to show him everything they’d worked on during the day. His patience with them and the way he put their needs first had gotten under Eden’s skin.

  He was nothing like the man she’d thought he was before moving here.

  He was better. So much better.

  “When the weather gets nice,” she said, “you’ll be able to show the girls all the best spots on the ranch. They will love it.”

  “Best spots, huh?” His mouth curved into a grin that reached his eyes. “I don’t know where they are.”

  “Oh, you will.” She wrapped her arms around a throw pillow.

  “You know them better than I do. I’m still getting to know the land, and I haven’t seen it thawed out.”

  “If you follow the creek, there’s a great fishing spot close to where the forest starts. We used to picnic there and fish when we were younger. The wildflowers should be blooming soon. It will take your breath away.” Good memories crowded her mind of her and Mia and her parents spending afternoons by the creek.

  “Perfect,” he said, nodding. “Follow the creek to the forest. What else have you got?”

  She thought back on all her favorite things about the ranch. There were so many. “The girls will probably want to play in the stables. Dad kept the large stall in the corner empty for us. He even installed shelves. One summer it was a toy store. Then it was a library. Sometimes we made it into a hair salon. We had a lot of fun out there.”

  “Your dad sounds like a great guy.”

  “He is.” She loved her parents. Missed them now that they were traveling. They’d showered her with love as a child, and she was thankful for them every day. “Dad can come off kind of gruff, but he’s a softy for kids. Oh, Mom and Mia and I used to garden, too. We canned a lot of vegetables.”

  “A garden.” He bobbed his head side to side as if he’d never considered it. “The girls like flowers and digging and being outside. But I don’t have a green thumb. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

  “It’s not overly complicated, but don’t worry about it this year. You have enough to deal with.” She didn’t want to stare, but something in his eyes drew her in. “Ryder?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m glad my parents sold the ranch to you.” She meant it. He cared about it—had invested in the house, was invested in the cattle. He had a good heart. “The girls are going to be really happy here.”

  “Thanks, Eden. That means a lot to me.”

  “It’s true.” And it was.

  “I’m not great at ranching. But I’ll get there. At least, I keep telling myself I will.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like my granddad’s barking in my ear all day long. ‘Do things right the first time. Your number-one priority is the livestock. If you lose even one sheep, you’ve failed.’”

  “Really?” She scrunched her nose. The man sounded harsh. “Sheep die sometimes. Cattle, too. There’s only so much you can control.”

  “I’ve lost two calves since taking this place over. I don’t think Granddad would be too impressed.”

  Mason had told her that he and Ryder had been separated shortly after birth when their parents died in a car accident. Each was raised by a different set of grandparents who kept the fact they were twins a secret. She regarded Ryder. “Did you have a happy childhood?”

  “Happy?” He thought about it
a minute. “No, I wouldn’t describe it as happy. I was taken care of, and I learned a lot of life skills, so I’m not complaining. Granddad got cancer when I was young. We sold the ranch and moved to the city to be near the hospital. He died from cancer a year later. My grandmother kind of went through the motions after he died, and she passed away my senior year of high school.”

  “I’m sorry, Ryder.” She reached over to touch his arm. His eyes met hers, and he covered her hand with his. Then his gaze flitted to her lips, and she wondered if he thought of kissing her.

  But he glanced away, and she chided herself. Why would he want to kiss her? He wasn’t into her like that. They were…friends. Starting to be, at least.

  “What about you?” he asked. “I know you didn’t want to babysit the girls here. Has it been hard? A lot of memories of your sister?”

  “Actually, it’s been easy. I thought it was going to be awful. The thing is, though, the memories are still here, and I’m more at peace with her death than I’ve ever been. I can’t really explain it.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  She thought back on the years since Mia had died. All the Tuesday-night meetings with Gabby and Mason had helped her through the grief of losing her sister. Then Nicole had joined their support group a year ago, and seeing what she’d been through had helped Eden understand that tough times happen to everyone.

  Moving into the apartment, watching her parents move on, being a bridesmaid in Brittany and Mason’s wedding, and now coming here, to her old home, had given her the final push she needed to move on from her sister’s death.

  “I hope you don’t mind me inviting all your friends here tonight.” He looked sheepish.

  “Why would I mind? It was fun. And they’re your friends, too.”

  “I’m glad you had fun. I, well, I envied you and Mason, Gabby and Nicole—your support group. I could have used one after Lily left me.”

  Ryder never discussed Lily. Eden’s pulse quickened as a million questions came to mind. Why did she leave? What happened? What was it like being married to a famous star? How often did she call the girls? When was she going to visit them?