by Fannie Flagg
Flew over to Palm Springs, California, headed back to Long Beach, air smooth as glass. I never knew there were so many mountains and oil wells in California. Just for fun, flew with one wing in Mexico and one in California. Wow.
When this thing is over, I’m thinking about pulling up roots and heading out west. Billy, this place was made for flying. And the rest ain’t so bad, either. Palm trees, movie stars, and you can pick an orange or a lemon right off a tree. Everybody here has a tan and the whitest teeth I have ever seen. And speaking of movie stars, I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard, headed for the canteen, when I heard someone tooting their horn at me. I looked over, expecting to see some fresh guy, but it was this snazzy-looking blonde in sunglasses driving a big blue convertible who pulls over to the curb and says, “Hi, soldier, need a ride?” And when I jumped in, Billy, I’ll be darned if it wasn’t Ginger Rogers, my favorite actress, and I said, “Hey, the last time I saw you was at the Pulaski theater in Kitty Foyle, and you were swell in it, too.” “Thanks,” she says and then looks at my wings and wants to know all about it, and despite being so famous, is real down to earth. When I got out of the car, I said, “So long, Kitty, thanks for the ride,” and she got a laugh out of that. She is one sweet gal, but then everybody here is just swell to us. I haven’t paid for a drink or a meal since I’ve been here. And the place is crawling with famous people. Willy and I went to the Brown Derby for lunch, and when we asked for the check, the waiter said, “The two gentlemen in the corner have already taken care of it.” We looked over and there sat Mr. Bob Hope and Mr. Bing Crosby. Then Bob Hope comes over and gives us two free tickets to his radio show and invites us to come to dinner at his house in Toluca Lake after the broadcast. All strictly on the up and up. His wife and kids were there, and so was Martha Raye, and after dinner, the doorbell rang, and I swear, Willy and I about died. It was Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, and old Charlie said, “I hear there are some beautiful pilots here.” Anyhow, we had one swell time. They sure make us feel appreciated, and it’s not only here, it’s everywhere. People bend over backward to make you feel at home. I know it’s not me, it’s the uniform, but it still feels good. Billy, after the war is over, you need to come out here and look into doing some stunt flying for the movies. We met a few of the guys here, and they say the pay is great.
Fritzi
P.S. An hour later.
Billy, I just read this letter. Yikes! Boy, do I sound like one big jerk going on and on about Hollywood. When I think about the gals that got killed, I feel ashamed of myself for still being alive and having such a swell time. But I don’t know what else to do, and I still miss them like crazy.
PENSACOLA, FLORIDA
Fritzi Gal,
Great to hear about Hollywood. I sure will put the stunt-flying idea in the hopper. Sounds good to stay in one place. I am getting too old for barnstorming anymore. These kids here are scaring the living hell out of me. A little training, and they think they are hot shots. They are cracking up planes left and right, and a lot of them are determined to take me down with them. You tell that guy bellyaching about teaching a bunch of women, I’d be happy to swap places with him. I would rather fly with a woman anytime.
Listen, Fritzi, I know it’s a rough deal losing your pals, but you just enjoy every minute you have, and that’s an order.
Billy
LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA
Dear Billy,
Your pigeon landed back in Long Beach, tired and happy. It sure was great to see you, honey, even if it was for just two days. Maybe next time, we will actually leave the room for some sightseeing. Ha-ha. I doubt it. I’ll tell you, Billy, when I saw you standing there at the gate in Newark, I almost fainted. A visit with you was just what the doctor ordered. But the next time you have a few days off, let me know, so a gal can at least throw on a little lipstick and comb her hair. I must have looked terrible, but it’s hard to look pretty after ten hours of flying. You look great. The navy must agree with you, and those stripes you are sporting don’t hurt, either.
The P-38 I picked up in Newark today had parts falling off of it, but tonight, all the way across the desert, the stars twinkled like diamonds in a dark blue velvet sky, and coming in and seeing all the lights of L.A. spread out for miles, whew! So beautiful. Foul weather, bad gas that funked up the engines, mechanical problems … all forgotten.
Love,
Fritzi
RUBY TUESDAY
POINT CLEAR, ALABAMA
DR. SHAPIRO GOT A LITTLE LOST ON THE WAY AND WAS LATE FOR THEIR appointment. And when he did find the restaurant and walked in, he almost didn’t recognize Sookie. She was wearing a long blond wig and big black sunglasses. “It’s me,” she said. He sat down and apologized for being late. “Oh, that’s all right. It’s my fault. I should have given you better directions.” After the waitress had taken their order, Sookie leaned in and said, “Dr. Shapiro, I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you to meet me here and not at the Waffle House.”
“Well …”
“I didn’t want to tell you this over the phone in case your wife or someone was listening.”
“Ah.”
“But the thing is—we have somewhat of a sticky situation. It seems we have been spotted by somebody. This is such a small town. Anyhow, my mother’s friend Pearl Jeff has evidently heard a rumor … about us … and told Lenore, and she had a fit.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but someone must have seen us together a few times, I guess, and now Mother has the idea that I am running around town, having an affair with a younger man behind my husband’s back. Can you believe it? And it’s not only my mother, but Marvaleen has heard it, too. Of course, she was thrilled about it. She thinks I’m dull. Anyhow, she even offered me her guesthouse, for an illicit tryst, I guess. Anyhow, I don’t want you to worry about it. They have no idea who you are. It’s me they are talking about. But isn’t it just the silliest thing you ever heard of? I told them it wasn’t true, but they wouldn’t believe me. And, of course, the first thing I did was tell Earle.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, and he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard, you and me having an affair.”
“Really?”
“Oh, not that he thinks you’re funny. It’s me. I’ve always been sort of a prude about these kinds of things. Marvaleen had always been the racy one. Anyhow, Earle said that I should let them go on thinking it. Of course, I didn’t tell him about the twin sailors I mentioned to Marvaleen, either, but as I said to Earle, I have Dr. Shapiro’s reputation to think about, too. Anyhow, that’s why I’m wearing this wig and the reason I asked you to meet me way out here, in case you wondered.”
“I see.”
“Lenore said that I had to stop seeing you or I would ruin my reputation, but I certainly don’t want to stop being your patient. But after hearing this, if you feel we should not go on, I will certainly understand.”
“No, I don’t want to stop. I’m still game, if you are. And I think the fact that you’re here at all shows great progress.”
“You do?”
“Yes, you are not allowing what someone may or may not think deter you from doing what you want.”
“Even though I wore the wig?”
“Yes.”
Sookie sat back in the booth and thought about what he just said. “Well, I guess that’s true, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Under the same circumstances, some people might not have the courage to continue.”
“No, they wouldn’t, would they?”
Sookie drove home feeling really good about herself. She really must be doing better. But still, just to be on the safe side, next week, she and Dr. Shapiro were meeting at Mrs. Minor’s Café and Truck Stop on Highway 98.
NEW CASTLE ARMY AIR BASE
WILMINGTON, DELAWARE
Dear Billy,
How’s by you? Excuse the handwriting. It is 3 A.M., and I am sitting in the nurses’ quarters john,
where they put us for the night. Stopped in at Sweetwater the other day to check up on all the gals, and Gertrude is doing just fine. She says she got a letter from Sophie, and Sophie is thinking about joining up as well, but I am going to discourage her. This rough-and-tumble life is not for her. Too bad, though, because she is a damn good pilot.
In the meantime, yours truly is busy. Made six deliveries in five days, setting a record. Ahem, gloat, gloat. I did have a laugh along the way. Had one woman ask me if I was in the Mexican Army. Best yet, people still don’t know what to make of the uniform. We have been taken for everything from Girl Scout leaders to stewardesses to Red Cross volunteers. And most good restaurants won’t let us in. When we arrived in Wilmington, looking forward to a steak with all the trimmings, one snooty puffball says to us, “We don’t accept women in trousers,” to which Willy says, “Would you accept a boot in your behind?”
But she said it to us, not him. We are to be on our best behavior, damn it.
Worst of all, the other day when a few of the gals had to land on a base in Georgia, they were held at gunpoint by an eager MP. This yo-yo thought they had stolen a U.S. military plane. When they finally got it straightened out, he said, “Nobody told me about no women flying.” We still seem to be the best-kept secret in the country, even to the army.
Fritzi
LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA
Dear Sophie,
I hear from home there are still some rumblings about you threatening to sign up for the WASPs. Hmmm … I know you didn’t ask for my advice, but you are getting it anyway.
Here’s the deal. It ain’t easy. Once you get to Avenger Field, you will be sharing a room with six other girls and a bathroom with twelve others. No privacy. They will work you until you drop. The instructors here are strictly army and tough, and if you don’t wash out and do start delivering, it is worse. You are up before dawn and head out in the cold so you can get to the airport, ready to take off at light. You will most likely be flying in an open cockpit in snowstorms, sleet, and rain or in weather so hot you are a baked potato when you land. And not to be crude, but these planes are designed for men with a built-in tube. Once you’re up, there is no way we can wiggle out of forty pounds of heavy flying suits and parachute, and go to the bathroom, and on those four- and five-hour trips, this can be hell.
Once you deliver, you are on your own to get back to base. Now, because they don’t want any talk about fraternization, they won’t let us hop a ride back on a military plane with the guys, so we have to go commercial or any way we can. And here is my other big worry. Guys. As good-looking as you are, you are bound to be swamped by every guy here wanting to date you. We are outnumbered by the guys about five thousand to one, and I’m not sure you are ready to handle that. Gertrude is a big gal, and as you know, I have a big mouth, so we can take care of ourselves. But knowing you? You are a sucker for a sob story. In other words, I don’t think this is the place for you. You have always been on the delicate side, and I am not sure you could even get through the physical training. I know you want to help out, but there are a lot of other things you can do. You mean too much to Mom and Pop and all of us, and if anything ever happened to you, I would never forgive myself. Okay?
I’ve had my say and told you the worst, and you have to make your own decisions, but at least you have been warned.
Love you, kid,
Fritzi
THE DECISION
PULASKI, WISCONSIN
SOPHIE HAD READ THE LETTER SHE RECEIVED FROM FRITZI, BUT EACH day, as she sat in the kitchen with her father listening to the war news, she felt more and more that she had to do something. She knew she was a good enough pilot to at least try to join up at Sweetwater.
Besides, working at the filling station with Fritzi, she had heard bad language and had guys make passes at her. She assured her mother that nothing could change her mind about her religious vocation. “But, Momma, I really believe they need me. I can fly as well as Gertrude, and she went. And if I can free up just one man to fight overseas, it could make a difference.”
Momma sighed. “Well, if you think so, then I guess you should go. It means that now I’ll be lighting four candles, instead of three. Oh, dear Jesus in heaven, I hate this war. It’s taking all my children. Thank God, your sister Tula doesn’t fly or I’d be losing her, too.”
FIVE DAYS LATER, WHEN Sophie Marie arrived in Sweetwater, Gertrude was waiting for her as she got off the bus. Gertrude was so happy to see Sophie, even though it meant she would have to start getting up early on Sunday mornings again. Since Gertrude had been away from home, she had been slacking off on going to mass every week, but she had promised Momma to take good care of Sophie. Now that Fritzi had left, she was the oldest sister, so she was going to be on her best behavior, but oh she had loved sleeping in on Sundays.
LENORE’S AT IT AGAIN
POINT CLEAR, ALABAMA
AFTER SHE HAD REPEATEDLY BEEN ASKED NOT TO, LENORE STARTED watching the local late-night television news again. “It only upsets you, Mother,” said Sookie. And sure enough, a few mornings later, Lenore called Netta and woke her up out of a sound sleep.
“Hello,” said a groggy Netta.
“It’s Lenore. Listen, dear, I want to run something by you before I call the newspaper.”
Netta looked at the clock. It was 6:18 A.M. “All right, go ahead, Lenore.”
“This country is a mess, and it’s not getting any better.”
“I agree with you there, hon, but what can you do?”
“That’s just it. I know exactly what we can do and where we went wrong.”
“Well, good for you, Lenore,” said Netta, as she slowly got up out of bed and put Lenore on speakerphone and headed to the bathroom.
“Looking back now, it is clear that our first big mistake was ever doing away with the monarchy. This democracy thing is just not working. And we’ve certainly given it a fair chance for how many years now?”
“Two hundred and something, at least,” called out Netta from the other room.
“More than a fair chance, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Oh, yes, more than fair.”
“It sounded like a good idea at the time, and I hate to say it, but the majority of people in this country are simply just not capable of governing themselves. My Lord, look who they just reelected mayor. That man doesn’t have enough sense to tell time, much less run an entire town.”
“You’re right about that,” said Netta as she flushed the toilet.
“I know I am! And something has to be done before he runs us all into the ground. Nobody wants to spend all that money for those stupid bicycle paths.”
Netta came back to her bedside table and took Lenore off speakerphone. “I agree, hon, but what do you propose?”
“People just have to step aside, and let someone who knows what’s best for them take over.”
“Sounds good, but who?”
“Well, this is where I need your feedback, Netta. Not to toot my own horn, but you know I have excellent organizational skills.”
“You wouldn’t be president of all those clubs if you didn’t, Lenore.”
“Right. So I’m thinking about just stepping in, bypassing the entire election thing, declaring myself mayor, and just be done with it.”
“Well, I don’t know why not, Lenore. You sure couldn’t do any worse.”
“That’s right. I say throw the bums out. Start small, on a local level, and then we can decide where to go from there. I don’t see where we have any other choice except absolute rule. Do you?”
A FEW SECONDS LATER, at 6:21, Sookie picked up her phone. “Hey, Sookie, it’s Netta. I’m sorry to call so early, but your mother’s at it again.”
“Oh, no. What’s she done now?”
Netta chuckled. “Nothing yet, but she says she wants to declare absolute rule, appoint herself mayor, and overthrow the city government.”
“Oh, God… is she serious?”
“I don’t know. It co
uld be just one of her whims, but just in case, you’d better get over there and stop her, before she calls the newspaper.”
“Thanks, Netta. I’m so sorry she bothered you again.”
“Oh, that’s all right, I’m used to it by now. But you know, Sookie, as crazy as it sounds, she just might have a point.”
SOOKIE DRESSED AND HEADED straight over to her mother’s house. She found Lenore in the kitchen.
“Good gracious, what brings you over so early in the morning?”
“Mother, I am here because you cannot be calling up the newspaper and causing any more trouble.”
“Trouble? What are you talking about?”
“Netta just called me.”
“Oh, well. You know I’m right.”
“Mother, you may be right, but let me remind you one more time. Earle has to practice in this town, and I cannot have you stirring up another hornet’s nest. We haven’t finished paying for the last lawsuit.”
“But somebody has to do something. The man is going to ruin us all.”
“Fine, Mother. Just let someone else do it. Please—let’s just try and get through Thanksgiving without some big drama. Promise?” Lenore looked pained. “Please, Mother? For the family’s sake?”
Lenore sighed. “Well, all right. I promise. But you know I could whip that city council into shape in twenty-four hours.”
“I’m sure you could, but just let it be.”
“All right, Sookie. If you insist on interfering with my freedom of speech, then I have no choice but to be muted. But I must say you have certainly become very demanding of late. Are you sure that doctor didn’t give you pills?”
“No, Mother, he didn’t give me pills. I wish to God he had.”
LATER, SOOKIE STOOD IN the kitchen, thinking about what all she had to do to get ready for Thanksgiving. She had never been a particularly good cook, and yet, for the past twenty-something years, she had somehow managed to prepare three meals a day plus meals for all the dogs, cats, hamsters, and—for a short while—the alligator. She had always tried her best to provide good nutrition and balanced meals, but there were times when she had given in and let them all eat pizza. After all, when some boy with a lit “Pizza” sign on top of his car would deliver it right to the door, who was she to object? Her girls were not very good cooks, either. Her only hope was that Carter would marry a girl who cooked. Not only cooked, but who would just love to do Thanksgiving for the entire family.
