Single AF: Social Experiment Series

by Green, Sherelle

  “I had to. And shit, did he deliver the works. Tone had my legs shaking. My body aching. My head twitching. Voice squealing to the top of my lungs. Y’all he gave me a complete pussy-shattering experience. I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same after that. My vagina was crying out for him like a sweet serenade equipped with a Mexican band and you both know I love me some Spanish music.”

  “And tacos,” Layla added. “With all the fixings. I swear, a well-made taco is everything.”

  “I know, right! With the white cheese, not the yellow cheese. White cheese is the best cheese.”

  Layla nodded her head. “White sharp cheddar is my favorite.”

  “I like mozzarella or that 4-cheese blend they sell at the grocery store.”

  “Yasssss,” Layla cosigned. “That shit is the best.”

  Kelani looked from me to Layla. “Uh, are we still talking about sex, or are you both really talking about taco toppings right now?”

  “Both,” we said in unison with a satisfied sigh.

  Kelani slapped her forehead. “I swear, I don’t know how I ended up with friends like y’all. Normal on the outside, but boughetto as all get out on the inside.”

  I placed my hand on Kelani’s shoulder. “Ahh, KeKe, sweetie. We know it’s hard trying to hold onto your Christ-like values when you have two heathens like us in your presence. But you make it look easy.”

  “You really do,” Layla agreed. “And we love you for it. I only go once a month because you convinced me that I needed Jesus. And, girlfriend, you were right. Meeka, I know you all boo’d up with Tone, but Kelani’s church has some of the finest men I’ve ever seen in life.”

  Kelani laughed, shaking her head. “I don’t know which one of you is more of a hot mess.” On cue, Layla and I both pointed to each other.

  Our conversation moved onto discussing how their jobs were going. I welcomed the change of topic because my thoughts had been consumed with Tone all morning. Especially when he’d gotten to the office, his eyes landing on me, brimmed in indecent thoughts. I was sure I’d looked the same way when I’d observed him. It was hard not to think about last night even when he wasn’t around, let alone when he was within a three-foot radius.

  Last night, he’d kissed me thoroughly. He’d seen me naked. His hands had been all over my curves. He’d fucked me good, while sexing me slow. So good and slow, I doubted I’d ever forget how amazing he was in the bedroom.

  “You’re thinking about Tone, aren’t you?” Kelani asked, raising her eyebrows.

  Layla snorted. “Of course she is. If good dick makes a good girl do bad things, then great dick makes a bad girl do even worse things. Meeka didn’t stand a chance after the way Tone had kissed her in y’all kitchen.”

  Kelani nodded her head. “Facts! That kiss was hot as hell and all we could do was sit back and watch.”

  “Speak of the devil,” I murmured, my eyes landing on the door of the café as Tone and Z walked through.

  “My baby looks so cute,” Kelani said, referring to Z. “I didn’t know they were having lunch here today, too.”

  Layla took a bite of her sandwich. “Tone probably wanted to talk to Z just like Meeka had called us. Not every day you sleep with the person you’ve spent years claiming to hate.”

  “Hmm, I disagree,” Kelani rebutted. “Every romance movie and book out there would disagree, too. Enemies to lovers is a popular storyline. Maybe I should go say hi to my man.” Kelani stood, but Layla pushed her back down.

  “Girl, if you don’t stay your ass seated. You and Z live together. Let him come to you if he wants to say hi, but right now, you’re having girls’ time and he’s having guy time.”

  Layla nodded. “You’re right. Besides, Meeka still has to tell us about the next time she plans to have sex with Tone.”

  “I’m not sure there will be a repeat performance,” I admitted. “We didn’t talk about it yet, but you both know how extra I can be. I’m trying my best to be chill about my feelings so that I don’t send Tone running in the opposite direction. This morning, I even made a promise to myself to just play this thing by ear and wing it. Sometimes, you can’t force a relationship and have to let it come to you.”

  I expected them to say they understood, but they both sat there, staring at me with these blank expressions.

  “What?” I asked.

  They both looked at each other, before Layla asked, “You’ve already picked out the names of your future kids, haven’t you?”

  “I’m offended,” I screeched. “Hell no. Absolutely not. How crazy do y’all think I am. I told you, I’m a new Meeka and this MeMe doesn’t do things like pick out baby names for men she’s only slept with one time.” I took a sip of the much-needed coffee I’d ordered, glancing at both of them over my cup. They didn’t believe me and rightfully so. My track record was … questionable at best. Besides, real friends called each other on their bullshit, which also meant, real friends ’fessed up when they were already in too deep.

  “Rachel if it’s a girl. Darren if it’s a boy. Or maybe even Anthony Jr. and Isabella if we have twins. Tone’s father passed away, so when I learn his name, that may be a contender. I love my mom’s name too, Gina. Gina Michaels has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

  They were quiet for a few seconds until Layla lifted her water bottle in my direction. “That’s more like our ridiculous girl.”

  The rest of our lunch was spent laughing at my insane self for already naming our imaginary kids and debating on if the names I’d chosen were good enough. Oh, and stealing glances at Z and Tone, taking turns guessing what they were talking about.

  * * *

  TONE

  “What do you think they’re talking about?” I asked Z.

  “Bruh, you already know they are talking about you and Meeka having sex last night. Kelani’s phone was blowing up all morning, and I could hear Meeka squealing on the other line.”

  I smiled because I couldn’t help myself. “Last night was pretty amazing. The vibe was good. The date was fantastic. I swear, it felt like we’d been going out for months even though it was our first actual date. I couldn’t help but think about why I’d waited so long to ask her out.”

  “You sound real sensitive right now, but it’s a good look on you. I’ve known you and Meeka would be good together for years.” We both turned our heads upon hearing the ladies laugh on the other side of the café.

  “I wonder what Meeka said to make them laugh.”

  Z shook his head. “Knowing MeMe’s ass, she’s already named your future kids and the women are trying to get her to change some of her names.”

  I shook my head. “Get the fuck outta here. No way Meeka is picking names after one night.” We both turned around again, only this time, I was zoning out all of the other table conversations and listening hard for their voices. As Z has suspected, I heard a couple names being thrown around.

  I laughed harder than I had in a while. “You’re right. Meeka is definitely naming our future babies. Hope she’s picking some good ones.”

  Z froze, his sandwich not even making it to his mouth. “Damn, Meeka must have laid it on you right if you not freakin’ out about her already talking about having kids with you.”

  I shrugged. “That’s how Meeka is. She doesn’t half-ass anything. When she’s in, she’s in with her entire heart. If there’s anything I’ve learned from working with her on this project, it’s that Meeka has had too many men in her life trying to make her be something she’s not. With me, I want her to be herself.”

  “That’s good, man. Glad to hear that.” Z looked behind us and smiled at Kelani. “Maybe I need to go over and say hi to my old lady and get some intel for you.”

  “Nah, bruh. You’ll see her when you get home. You probably just want to go over there and kiss her. Right now, I need advice, and if you go over there, I might as well head over there, too.”

  “Okay, what do you need advice on?”

  “What should I do about Me
eka? Is it too early to ask her to be with me exclusively?”

  “You mean, like your girlfriend?” Z asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah.”

  “Bruh, then just say girlfriend. Talking about all this ‘will she want to be exclusive’ shit.” Z grinned, shaking his head. “For real though, if you can talk about being in a relationship with her without flinching and laugh when you hear her talking about having kids with you, then you already know it’s not too early. You my guy and Meeka’s my girl. I think it would be cool if y’all gave this relationship thing a shot.”

  I nodded my head. “I think I’ll ask her officially. I’m not one to beat around the bush when it comes to my feelings.”

  “I know that about you, and if I thought you weren’t taking Meeka seriously, then we’d have a problem because I don’t want her to get hurt. She’s been through enough and so have you. You both need each other. Real talk.” He got quiet before continuing, “So I gotta ask … Have you talked to her about your ex?”

  I shrugged. “Somewhat, but there’s still more to talk about.”

  Z briefly glanced at the women before looking back to me. “Another word of advice, be upfront with Meeka about your past. She’s the ride or die type, so my guess is, she’d appreciate your honesty and understand more than you think.”

  Taking a deep breath, I took a sip of my water. “I hear you man.”

  “Alright then.”

  Instead of spending the rest of our lunch talking about the women, we caught up on other shit. And by caught up, I mean we talked about a few things, but spent more than a few minutes eavesdropping on the conversation the women were having.

  Chapter 12

  Asshole fuckboys please take several seats.

  You’re wasting good space.

  ~ Madame Social ~

  MEEKA

  “This should be a quick meeting,” I told Tone as we walked to the Nike store. “DeAndre isn’t exactly the talking type.”

  “Got it. Ex number four isn’t a talker.” Right before we got to the store, he pulled me to him, causing me to gasp, as he kissed me slow and thoroughly.

  I panted when we broke apart. “What was that for?”

  He shrugged one shoulder. “I guess it was my way of reminding you that I’m here for you as you wrap up this assignment.”

  Grinning, I pulled his face back down for another yummy kiss, loving the way his hands wrapped around my waist, making sure I didn’t sway too far away.

  “How about we blow off this meeting and go back to your place or mine to finish what we’d started this morning?”

  I giggled as he leaned his forehead on mine. Tone had officially asked me to be his girlfriend one week ago, and to say that I was floating high on cloud nine was a huge understatement. It was more like I’d taken up a permanent residence on that white puffiness of elation and kicked up my black stilettos, shooting every woman who winked at Tone a ‘don’t start none, won’t be none’ look.

  I’d also appreciated a man who didn’t just want to fuck around, but rather, came to me on more of a there-is-no-way-we’re-dating-and-sleeping-together-without-you-being-my-girlfriend kind of way. It had been so damn sexy when he’d asked, I’d fucked him again right then and there in his living room before he’d even gotten the words completely out.

  “I wish we could ditch this meeting, but we can’t. Dragon Breath chewed us out the last meeting since we were originally ahead of schedule and now, we’re way behind. I suspect Madame Social isn’t so happy either.” Honestly, it was more my fault than Tone’s. After we’d gotten together, I hadn’t wanted to meet with any more exes. I was too busy enjoying the infatuation phase of my new relationship.

  To top it off, I’d had a problem getting in contact with a couple of my other exes. I mean, I didn’t have the best track record anyway since most of them had ended with him running for the hills and me crying my eyes out. Besides, starting a conversation off with why we broke up in the first place was a mood killer for the exes who were now in happy relationships.

  Unfortunately, that had left me with DeAndre’s irrelevant ass. He barely qualified as an ex, but if I wasn’t going to snag a fifth ex to interview, I at least needed to wrap this up.

  Walking into the Nike store, I told one of the associates that we had a meeting with DeAndre and they led us to the corner of the store.

  “Are we supposed to shoot here?” Tone asked.

  “Not sure, but knowing DeAndre, probably.”

  Tone looked past me as something caught his eye. I turned to see Mr. Ten-Hour Relationship himself, in the flesh. Hmm … I wonder if there are any other women in the world who can pinpoint the exact moment when they realized they must have lost their damn mind when they’d dated their ex. Because, I’d experienced that a lot with my exes since the start of this experience, but DeAndre really had me questioning my sanity. There was no part of him that I found attractive anymore. Grill blinging, blue braids hanging, with the tattoos on his neck and face just like the day I left his sorry ass. He looked … a hot freakin’ mess!

  I glanced back at Tone and almost laughed at the disturbed way he was staring at DeAndre. “You okay, Tone?”

  He blinked several times. “You shitting me, right? One of your exes is a Lil Yatchy wannabe? Meeka, he ain’t even on your level. I hate this interview already.”

  “It will be fine,” I assured him. “DeAndre and I were only official for ten hours, so he probably doesn’t have much to say.”

  Tone ran his fingers down his face, mouthing, ‘ten hours,’ really slowly since DeAndre was close by.

  I pulled Tone to me and whispered, “Yeah, meet the mistake I made before you caught me running from Reggie’s apartment.” To my surprise, Tone had the nerve to laugh.

  “Hey, DeAndre,” I greeted when he stopped in front of us. “Thanks for meeting with me.”

  “Shit.”

  I blinked. Not exactly a greeting, but whateva. “Okay, let’s just get started. As I mentioned in my text, I just need to know why we broke up in your opinion. Do you want to record this right here?”

  “Shit.” He sat down on one of the benches, so I took that as a yes and sat down next to him as Tone started recording. Out of nowhere, DeAndre started grinning to himself like a damn fool. It didn’t take a genius to realize he was high as hell.

  “DeAndre, are you sure you want to do this today?”

  He shrugged. “Shit.” Ugh. He was already irritating the mess out of me. If this dude was gonna say “shit” as a response to every question I asked, this interview was going to be even shorter than I thought.

  “DeAndre, in your opinion, why did we break up?”

  “Shitttt. Life, I guess.”

  I mentally face-palmed. “Okayyy. Maybe I’ll start. You and I had known each other for two months before you asked me out after you helped me find a new pair of gym shoes. Why did you finally ask me out?”

  He smiled again, his eyelids low. “You sexy as hell and you seemed to be feeling my music.” Oh, right. How could I forget about DeAndre and his lame rapping? “And I could tell you wanted it,” he continued. “Used to come in here with them tight ass dresses on, swaying that big booty my way.”

  I cringed. “Wanted it or wanted you to ask me on a date? Because I remember wanting the latter.” It didn’t feel or sound right the way he’d said it. “A date was all I wanted and for us to see if it could go anywhere.”

  “Shittttt,” he slurred. “Nah, you wanted it. You wanted this dic—”

  “Anyway,” I said, cutting him off. “I think we broke up because we never should have gotten together in the first place. We didn’t have anything in common.”

  “I’ll tell you why I dumped yo’ ass,” he garbled, pointing a finger at me. “You made me take you to the movies five times before we fucked. Pussy was so good, I figured I was in love after I finally hit. Asked you to be my girl that night. Then, woke up the next day and realized the weed and liquor had worn off, and kicked yo
’ ass out when I came to my senses.”

  Tone’s hand tensed on the camera, so I stood to lightly touch it to hopefully calm him down before I looked down at DeAndre. “We remember things differently. But know this … in my mind, what we had never happened.”

  He waved me off. “Shit, yeah, a’ight. Whateva you gotta tell yourself to sleep at night. I knew you was a crazy bitch anyway. I just wanted to fuck you.”

  Tone mumbled under his breath, clenching the camera even harder. This time, it caught DeAndre’s attention, too.

  DeAndre stood, stepping to Tone. “Ahh, you must be her new nigga, huh? You in here getting all swole and shit because what? What’s buggin’ you, fam?”

  “The way you are disrespecting my old lady,” Tone stated, handing me the camera since DeAndre was in his face. “That’s no way to talk to her. Matter of fact, you should never talk to a woman like that period.”

  DeAndre laughed. “Man, get the fuck outta here wit’ yo’ righteous ass. That ain’t what the fuck you pissed about.” DeAndre glanced my way.

  “Don’t look at her,” Tone warned. “Look at me.” Although they were about the same height, Tone was bigger, more in shape. And the dangerous gleam in his eyes said, ‘don’t fuck with me unless you want to get fucked up.’ Tone looked like he could snap DeAndre in two if he pushed him. For the sake of the assignment, I hoped DeAndre wasn’t that stupid to test him.

  “You mad ’cause I fucked her, right?” DeAndre teased. “You hate the fact that a nigga like me got all in between them thighs, pleasing her, making her scream my damn name, before you got wit’ her.”

  Scream his name? Was this motha fucka delusional? “The sex wasn’t even that good,” I told him. “And you fell asleep in the middle of it. Let’s not act like you were laying it down. I’ve had vibrators that were better.”

  “Bitch, you loved it, but yo’ pussy wasn’t even all that.” Seriously? He’d literally just said the opposite. Unfortunately, he wasn’t done offending me.