Take Me Back

by Kathryn Shay

  “I—”

  She held up her hand. “No, I’ll have my say. I misunderstood what was happening. I thought you were with us because you wanted to be, too, not only because I was in danger. I won’t make that mistake again. Now, I’d like to go home. I’ll wait in the car. You can get Tommy, say my goodbyes.”

  “My family’s worried. You’ll have to come in and see them.”

  “No. I’m done with the Casellas today.”

  “Your son is a Casella!”

  “Which I’m beginning to regret.” Pivoting, she walked to the car.

  o0o

  “Hey, I was surprised to get your call.” Gideon stood before him dressed in jock shorts and a T-shirt that read, “Police.”

  Rafe studied Gideon, wondering if he chose this brother to contact for a game of racquetball because Gid didn’t like Kate. After his own standoff with her Sunday at Mama’s house, Rafe was still pissed off. “Yeah, we haven’t done this in a while.” Rafe bounced the ball on the wooden floor of the court at the Anderson County Fire and Police Academy. And headed out to the court. “Let’s play.”

  Gideon grabbed Rafe’s arm and pulled him back. His eyes were troubled, a rare look at the real Gideon. “Hold on a sec.”

  Scowling, Rafe asked, “Why?”

  “Because you’re obviously in a snit about something. If it’s about Sunday, I um, was out of line at the barbeque. I didn’t get a chance to tell you before you left.”

  “You were, but I’m not mad at you.”

  “Then at Kate?”

  “Yep. Now let me work off some this snit.”

  After they both donned protective goggles, they headed to the court and Gideon said, “You can serve first.”

  The court was 40x20x20, and the serving zone 5x20. Rafe stepped into the box, bounced the ball and slammed it hard into the front wall. Then it arced toward the ceiling. Gid ran to the rear wall, let it come down on the floor before him, then lobbed it back to the front wall.

  That rally began.

  Rafe got the ball and returned it. Or he thought he did, but the thing petered out and landed about a foot shy, which meant he lost the serve. “Fuck,” Rafe said, breathing hard from the first rally.

  “You are mad. My serve.”

  Gid must be in better shape than him because he wasn’t gulping air. He was the athlete of the family. He’d played football and soccer in high school, and was the star of the HCPD softball team. His serve wasn’t as hard as Rafe’s, but it was more accurate and hit the crease where the front wall and floor met, bulleting back, zooming past Rafe.

  Rafe grumbled.

  They played like this for forty-five minutes. The slapping of the ball and loud breathing echoed in the cavernous court. When it was Gideon’s serve again, he took the ball and walked off the court.

  “Where the hell are you going?”

  He stopped at the side wall, slid down to the floor, and tapped the edge of his racquet on the wood next to him. “Sit.”

  “I don’t want to sit. I want to play.”

  “You’re dripping with sweat and losing so bad it’s not fun for me.”

  “Is that all you think about? Fun? Life’s serious, Gideon.”

  “Since I’m a police officer, divorced with three kids I’m trying to raise part time, you know that’s not true. So, I’ll let your stupid remark go. Now sit the fuck down, Rafe.”

  Since his shoulder hurt, and he’d strained a muscle in his thigh, he dropped down next to his brother.

  “As I said, I should have kept my big mouth shut Sunday. What happened when you went after her?”

  “We had a fight in the park she walked to. Like our old battles. She was being stubborn as hell, I started yelling at her, and she yelled back.”

  Gideon stared out at the court. “Lisa and me had some of our best sex after fights.”

  “We used to. But I’ve slept in the spare room since then.”

  He arched a brow. “Rafe, if you’re worried about her safety, you need to call the police.”

  “They’re already involved.”

  “Who?”

  “Ryan O’Malley.”

  His blond brows rose. “He’s bioterrorism.”

  “I didn’t want to upset Mama so I didn’t go into detail.” But he recounted the anthrax scare, her accident and the thing on the side of the house.

  “Holy hell. The situation sounds serious to me.”

  “It is.”

  “As far as you and Kate, I don’t have advice on what to do. I’m shitty at relationships.”

  “Not with the kids.”

  “That’s different. I meant with women.”

  “It’s been two years since you and Lisa called it quits. Are you even dating?”

  “Yeah, but nothing serious.”

  A ring tone sounded. “Looks like time’s up,” Rafe said. “We need to go.”

  “In a minute. I wanna tell you something. I always objected to Kate because you fell so hard and fast for her that I was worried she’d break your heart.”

  “You were right. She did that.”

  “But I’m backing off. I promise. No more snide remarks. And whatever you want to do with her, I support you.”

  Rafe rolled to his feet. “Yeah, well right now, our whole relationship is pretty bleak.”

  o0o

  Kate stood at the end of the tennis court, glad to be outside in the sun doing something physical with her friend. And not thinking about Rafe. “Ready?”

  Lucy bent over, holding her tennis racket, grinning. “I am. I have to warn you, I’ve gotten good at this since we joined a gym with tennis courts. You aren’t gonna beat me anymore.”

  “Yeah, and I’m rusty, so take it easy on me.”

  Tossing up the ball, Kate lifted her arm over her head, brought it back and whacked the neon yellow sphere. It went over the net toward Lucy, who hit a perfect backhand, returning the serve. The volley lasted for a few minutes, with Kate taking the point. She was shocked. She couldn’t even remember the last time she played the sport she used to love.

  Lucy catapulted the next ball back over Kate’s head, and it bounced fair. Score one for Lucy. Next, Lucy’s serve whirled toward Kate, which she also missed. “You aced it, girl.”

  They played for an hour then, sweaty but invigorated, the match ended. Lucy won.

  “I brought water,” her friend said. “Let’s sit before we play another set.”

  “Another set? Wow, you overestimate me.”

  “That’s right, you were in that accident not too long ago.” Her dark eyes shadowed with concern. “Should you even be playing?”

  “It’s been two weeks, but truthfully, I’m sore through my middle. And whipped.”

  They sat at a picnic table behind the courts. Lucy produced water and they drank. A slight breeze cooled them. “So,” Lucy said, “How’s it going with Rafe?”

  “Don’t ask.”

  “I could tell something was wrong when you showed up.”

  “Apparently, I misunderstood where we’re at in our relationship. Which was partly his fault.”

  When they got home two nights ago, Kate wouldn’t talk about what happened. She wanted time to think. He got even angrier when she asked him to sleep in the spare bedroom. For the next two days, they were civil to each other whenever they were at her home together. She regretted their loss of intimacy and wondered if he did.

  “People say stupid things sometimes. Despite how crazy in love Dan and I are, we still fight sometimes.”

  “About what?”

  “Little things. Married couples disappoint each other all the time. But we had a big blow up when I thought Clare was winning him back.”

  “If we were married, or even committed like before, I probably wouldn’t be so insecure. But he won’t commit yet.”

  “Honey, you haven’t been back that long.”

  “Seven weeks.”

  Lucy looked at her.

  “Yeah, I guess it isn’t that long.” She
raked a hand through her damp hair. She’d forgotten a tie to pull the mass up. “I was ambushed at his house Sunday.”

  “How?”

  She explained what happened at the Casella home.

  “Ouch! That must have hurt, but Rafe’s probably confused and things are coming at him all at once. Plus, this consolidation thing is really weighing on him.”

  “Yeah, he told me about it. Maybe you’re right.”

  “Do you wish the anthrax thing would get solved so he could move out?”

  “No, but I hate how things are.”

  “You both need some perspective.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  Kate drove home thinking about hers and Rafe’s situation. Had she started a fight between herself and Rafe in case he totally rejected her?

  The thought was depressing.

  o0o

  “Time for house cleaning.”

  No groans. His group knew their responsibilities. He gave out the assignments. Of course, the rookie got toilet duty. She accepted the task without complaint, as she did every time he gave it to her.

  Rafe pitched in today by cleaning the refrigerator. He got out the milk, water, cucumbers and tomatoes they’d bought to accompany lunch and was reaching for the turkey when the PA crackled on. “Structure fire in five-story structure on Commercial Street. Office building. Rescue Squad 2 Truck 5 Engine 4 go into service.”

  His people came from every room and headed out. Rafe left the food on the table and took up the rear. They raced to the bay where their turnout gear sat ready to go. All of them dived into the pants and boots, threw on the coats and hopped on the truck where their SCBA awaited.

  The rig started to move as soon as Rafe closed the door. The officer always rode shotgun. Ruggero, the driver, swerved onto the road. Over the radio in the rig, they heard more instructions, including, “This is a code 1.” Which meant timing was critical.

  “Turn the siren on, Ruggero. And the lights.”

  The ear-splitting noise blasted loud and urgent. Rafe hated having to slow down for red lights, blow the abrasive horn, but that was the law. He itched to get to the house. Four minutes later they pulled up to the site. Rafe jumped out of the rig and headed to Incident Command as Truck 5’s captain came from the other side. Chief Baker looked over at them. “The employees on levels one through three got out. I want ladders against the unaffected walls. Casella, get the equipment for a high angle rope rescue and get ready to go up.”

  o0o

  On Saturday morning, while Tommy had another play date with a girl two doors down, Kate cleaned her house. When she got to the living room, she turned on the TV, which was tuned to a local channel, “Breaking news. Fire on Commercial Street. We take you there live.”

  Part of Commercial Street was in Rafe’s area of coverage. She thanked God Tommy wasn’t home. They hadn’t prepared him for a view of their jobs yet. Dropping to the floor in front of the set, Kate steeled herself when the camera panned a five-story building raging with angry flames. Gray smoke billowed through the windows of the first three floors. “Firefighters are setting in place a ladder with a basket attached on the side that isn’t burning.”

  Ludicrously, Kate said aloud, “It’s called a bucket. Attached to an aerial.”

  Six firefighters crammed into the bucket which was raised up. When the camera zoomed in, she could see on the back of their jackets, Rescue Squad 2. Rafe would direct the effort on the roof. The bucket was lowered and more firefighters were levered up.

  Though the view was too far away to see, the guys on the roof would set up a convolution of ropes which would be tied securely to pillars or concrete vents or whatever would hold the weight of a firefighter and victim together.

  She watched for minutes as a firefighter rappelled down to the closest window, in a hair’s breadth of the fire itself. Kate could practically smell the acrid scent of fire and smoke, hear the cacophony coming from inside and from the fireground, feel the guy trying to block out everything. She’d known the strain in his arms, his breathing coming in harder with exertion. Finally, he grabbed onto a woman waving violently at him from the closest window.

  Minutes passed as the firefighter wrestled her into the rope harness until the victim was secure. Then, excruciatingly, the rope was pulled upward by men and women overtaxing their muscles. His ascent would be harder than the descent, with the weight of two on him. When they finally reached the roof, the victim was deposited. Firefighters switched places, and another one descended. They repeated the process, alternating off people who went down, which was why they needed so many up on the roof.

  The camera focused suddenly on the anchor. Which was stupid. He said, “Apparently these victims will descend on the side of the building that isn’t rife with flames.”

  Or, Kate thought, they’d wait until the bottom fires were doused.

  Back on site, the camera finally focused in, and Kate could read the word Captain on the next person’s turnout coat. Rafe. His feet on the building, holding the rope, he lowered himself to another window and grasped onto another woman.

  Who flailed at him as he tried to get her in a harness. The rope swung wildly back and forth and Rafe had to grasp her body. Finally, he scraped his feet against the concrete, steadying them, abandoned the harness and plastered the woman to him. But the ropes slipped from the weight of two people, and they went down about three feet nearer the fire. Too near. It seemed forever before they started up again.

  Overcome with the gravity of the situation, Kate felt her stomach pitch. She bolted up and raced to the downstairs bathroom where she vomited violently.

  When she leaned back on her haunches, she had one thought. She’d been one of the rescuers rappelling down a building on fire before. She could handle that. But could she live with Rafe doing the same thing? Oh, God, was it time to run again?

  o0o

  Feeling like a train hit him and dragged him down a few ties, Rafe opened the door to Kate’s house, having no idea what to expect. She may have even run. His heart began beating at a clip when he heard nothing. The stink of the fire and soot and charred wood clung to him.

  Then, “Daddy,” and a little bundle burst into the hallway and hugged him. He practically tipped over but managed to hold his child against him.

  Kate followed behind their son. Her face was somber. “Let Dad sit. He had a hard day.” She looked at him. “I’m running the jacuzzi. That should help.”

  He hooked his hand around her neck; even the small effort hurt. But he kissed her on the mouth. She kissed him back, then slid her arm around his waist and they walked slowly to the bedroom. He guessed everything between them was forgotten, for at least tonight.

  o0o

  The following Monday marked the halfway point of the academy training. At lunchtime, Kate was called into Mitch’s office. When she walked through the open door, she found Mitch, Rafe, Ryan O’Malley, Olive Hennessey and Recruit Mattison. She sat next to Rafe. He moved his leg so it brushed hers. Things had been…quiet between them.

  The chief started the meeting. His jaw was tight and eyes were angry. “We have some news, Kate. It’s mixed but it’ll settle things for you.” He turned his gaze to the recruit. “Mattison, go ahead and tell her what you told me.”

  Cory Mattison’s face was drawn and his eyes had dark circles under them. He gripped his hands between his knees. “I-I’m the one who put the envelope on your desk.”

  Rafe’s whole body tensed.

  Kate’s jaw dropped. “I don’t understand. Why would you do that?”

  He glanced away.

  “Cory, was it because you want to be valedictorian. I’m out of the running for that.”

  His head came back around. “No, that’s not why.”

  “Then what?”

  “I…didn’t like that you were getting all the attention and taking it away from Lowden. You’re the only two girls in the class, and she deserves more credit than she gets.”

  “Recrui
t Mattison?” Hennessey asked with disbelief lacing her voice. “Was Lowden aware of your actions?”

  His eyes widened. “No, she wasn’t. I swear, she wasn’t.”

  Rafe fumed. “You did this to Cassidy because you have a crush on Lowden?”

  Mattison’s eyes closed briefly. “It’s more than a crush.”

  “Whatever.” Mitch took over, still very angry. “Do you have any idea the havoc that little maneuver caused? The time and resources of the Hazmat team that you took up not to mention what you put Firefighter Cassidy through?”

  “I didn’t think about all that. I just wanted to scare Cassidy. I thought she might quit the class.”

  When it sunk in what this meant, contradictory emotions poured through Kate. She was angry at Mattison for having scared her so badly, but relief that no one was out to get her was the primary feeling. “What happens now?” she asked the chief.

  Mitch rose and circled his desk to stand in front of Mattison. “Stand up, son.”

  The boy rose.

  “You’re dismissed from the fire academy. And from the recruit class.”

  Kate stood, too. “Isn’t that excessive? I don’t think he should be expelled.”

  Mitch turned a hard gaze on her. “There’ll be no discussion of this. We can’t have recruits acting in a manner unbecoming to the department. It would cause chaos. Ryan, you take it from here.”

  “Your actions are more than unbecoming, Mr. Mattison,” the police officer told him. “There are several things you can be charged with - misuse of city resources, threatening another person, interfering with firefighting equipment. But Chief Malvaso has convinced me that expulsion from the academy is punishment enough.”

  When the meeting broke, Rafe took Kate’s arm. “Wait a sec.” She crossed to Mattison. “I’m sorry to have made you go down this path. Good luck with whatever you do now.”