Neverstone: A LitRPG Adventure (The Mad Elf Book 1)

by Ned Caratacus

  Era remembered the dueling car, and the guy with the ridiculously overpowered sword blasting him out of the train and, ergo, into the Ramblind Forest.

  What happened to the dwarf girl? Is she even alive? Wait, am I even alive?! There's no way I could have survived that fall! All right, look at the facts. One, I'm by the River Galga, so I can't be in the—BIRDS!

  To his left, a small gathering of ferrous storks waded in the banks, standing on one leg. Their worm-like necks picked away at their brown and black feathers.

  An idiotic smile crept across Era's face. And this is their mating season. This is happening. By Argo, Rafeth, and Galgalim, it's really happening. Has anyone even caught their mating season on video? Where's my phone? There you are. Let's work some movie MAGIC, just gotta make sure you have enough power—

  “Zero percent. Please insert charging cable.”

  Seriously?

  In case you haven't noticed, it should be emphasized that Era really liked birds.

  Okay, plan B. No one's ever pet one of these guys, right?

  Era pulled out his ornithomancer's whistle (which, mind you, was a panflute-ish thing that he wore around his neck) and gave it a thoughtful, hearty doodle doodle dee.

  [Era — Bird Call]

  [Ferrous storks 1 through 5 are unnerved!]

  The flock leader's head raised in alarm, a soggy piece of river grass hanging from its mouth. The others followed suit.

  [Era — Bird Call]

  [Ferrous storks 1 through 5 are interested!]

  Another toot, and they saw Era.

  That's it. Come to—

  But they would not come to him. Out of nowhere came a howl. Actually, it was more of a—

  [???? — Monstrous Roar]

  Thank you.

  The ferrous storks scattered, flapping in panic high above the treetops.

  “Seriously?” asked Era, aloud this time.

  One particular thing about the Monstrous Roar attack was that it usually came from a monster, hence the “monstrous” bit. Already hanging his head in disappointment, Era noticed the large, circular shadow in the sand around his feet.

  He turned around.

  [Boss Battle!]

  [LYNDWYRM ~The Y's make it folksy~]

  “Hi,” said Era again.

  [Bestiary: Lyndwyrm]

  [Type: Dragon]

  [Weaknesses: Lightning]

  [HP: 4,000]

  [Description: Speaking as an expert in the monsters of Luminar, and as someone with no social life, the Lyndwyrm is no joke. Twenty meters in length, it is dark green, and has seven rows of razor-sharp teeth, and two massive, clawed arms jutting out from behind its head. In short, if the Lyndwyrm were a joke, it would have to be used in a very, very ironic context to make anyone laugh.]

  [Lyndwyrm — Regurgitate]

  “Really? That's your first—”

  Before Era could finish, a pair of oblong, slimy projectiles knocked him through the air and into the river.

  [120 DMG to Era]

  The wind shot out of Era's lungs from the impact and he plunged into the dark, shallow water. As he staggered to his feet, the two objects became clearer in his weary vision.

  [Name The Mystic:]

  [L I V _ _ _ _]

  One was a girl about his age, wearing a mercenary's combat fatigues and a flashy blue eye mask. Her eyes were missing beneath her messy, bleach blonde hair and she sported a black leather jacket which read “VOG OFF” on the back in patches. Edgy enough for ya?

  [Name The Healer:]

  [N O A H _ _ _]

  The other was a guy, also about Era’s age, wearing a brown cleric's robe under a lengthy mane of red hair. Chubby and sickeningly cute; like a human teddy bear. His healing staff was tucked into his belt and hung loosely at his side. He was dead, or dead-ish.

  A few hours earlier, Liv Matapang, one of the Princess's private mercenaries of the “no questions asked” variety, received an urgent text message from her commanding officer.

  “Got a new side contract for ya. The Southern Ramblind Park Ranger Office requested that you, and you specifically, kill one Lyndwyrm for them. They wouldn't specify why. Whatever the reason, they need it done by four PM. Good luck.”

  Liv's real C.O. never sent that message.

  The girl, who was neither dead nor dead-ish, cupped her hands together to shout to the monster. The space between her hands glowed.

  [Liv — Throw Voice]

  “Snakes suck. Just grow legs already!” she said, but her raspy voice called out from the space behind the Lyndwyrm. The beast turned its head in confusion, and she grabbed the other “projectile” and threw him over her shoulder. It was no easy task, since the guy looked to weigh 300 pounds, give or take. She could probably kick my ass without a second thought.

  “You there!” said the girl. “You still alive? Run, if you wanna stay that way.”

  Era headed for the other side of the river, and the girl headed for the Lyndwyrm.

  “This thing can't cross water,” she said. “We gotta get to the other side and attack it from—”

  “This way!” said Era.

  [Lyndwyrm — Attack]

  The girl doubled back just as the Lyndwyrm began to notice them. She barely dodged from the Lyndwyrm's jaws as they snapped shut.

  [Missed!]

  The shallow waters splashed as Era and the girl waded across as fast as they could. Once she

  The Lyndwyrm, rearing back from the ’other shore, glared.

  “Thanks,” said the girl “What's your name?”

  “My name's—”

  “Don’t answer that, I’ll think of a better one. Call me Liv. Hold this for me.” She threw the boy into a patch of sand next to her. Plop. “I said hold him!”

  “I'm over here,” said Era, several meters away from the landing spot.

  Liv groaned through her teeth. “One sec.” She snapped her fingers several times, and a few orange sparks clicked out from her eye sockets. “Come on!”

  [Liv — Ignite]

  Fwoosh!

  With that, her eyes materialized. Small, flickering specks of flame made pupils in her black sockets.

  “Aaaand, eyesight back,” Liv said. She turned to the Lyndwyrm. “And you still look like a dumbass!”

  Right, the river's water must have put her eye fires out...wait, eye fires?!

  “Are your eyes okay?” asked Era.

  “Never seen a Mystic before, Slasher?”

  “No, no I haven't.” And my name's Era.

  “Heh, awright, learn something new every day. The flames are actually my connection to the Mystic Spir—”

  [Lyndwyrm — Acid Bomb]

  A pea green bubble of caustic filth shot across the river from the Lyndwyrm's mouth, and—

  [190 DMG to Era]

  [140 DMG to Liv]

  —exploded.

  Era found himself covered in white pixels in the middle of a rapidly dissolving bush. Liv and her cargo were nowhere to be found.

  Either she's dead or ran away. Both understandable, at this point.

  This is getting embarrassing. How much HP do I have left?

 

  Thank you. Wait, what?

 

  Aaaand I'm hearing voices now. Fantastic. Who are you, invisible mind monster?

 

  Era froze in the bush. In only a few seconds, the idea of being devoured by a Lyndwyrm became the second scariest thing on his mind. These words were without sound and had no source, but barged into his mind one by one, as if some invisible hammer nailed them through his skull, cracking it open more with every pound.

 

  For real though, what is this? Am I going crazy?

  It was then that Era remembered the nightmare, if only in a blurred suggestion of the monster inside it...

  [Name The ]

  [B U G _ M A N]

>   The Bug Man had followed him into the waking world.

  “I can't help but feel sorry for nightmares. I believe that they know that they are illusions, and are completely aware that you, their master, will soon open your eyes, thus wiping them out of existence. This leads to anger, bitterness, hatred, and a desire to make them as terrifying as possible to their all-powerful executioner. In short, they're an organized religion.”

  That was a quote from the famous elvish philosopher, Lutero Gualtieri, Era's great-great-great-great, et cetera, grandfather.

  But now, two centuries after Lutero Gualtieri's death, his great-great-great-great, et cetera, grandson, Era, had a nightmare that lingered past the wake up phase.

  In his grave, Lutero raised a curious eyebrow.

  [Lyndwyrm — Monstrous Roar]

  Oh, thank Gods. Something more realistic to be afraid of. “Yeah, I see you!” said Era to the monster. “Are you gettin' ready to kill me?”

  [Lyndwyrm — Monstrous Nod]

  “Greeeeeat. One sec.”

 

  I'm a little busy, spooky head voice.

  Reaching into his bag, Era pulled out a half-empty healing potion.

  [Era — Healing Potion]

  He shot the foul chemical swill toward the back of his throat.

  [Recovered 50 HP!]

  And like that, for reasons Era couldn't yet understand, the Bug Man's voice was silenced.

  And don't come back. Geez.

  Getting to his feet, Era stumbled away from the bush and into the woods, just as he heard a distinctive sssshink! at his hip. His sword, recalled from earlier. Ha! Now you show up, jackass. Just kiddin', I love you, baby.

  Okay, let's see. How would Lutero Gualtieri go about this?

  Problem: Giant Snake Beastie.

  Goal: To not die.

  Facts:

  Beastie's on the other side of the river.

  Said beastie can't cross rivers.

  But, it can use ranged attacks.

  But, trees are a thing. I can also move out of range.

  I can move swords with my mind.

  I've got a good range on this sword, too. Enough to get a bunch of low-level attacks in from a tree.

  Beastie's probably at a higher level than me—ergo, loaded with experience points and gold.

  Therefore……Ah!

  Solution: I'll kill this beastie from a distance in the cheapest, most cowardly way possible, make it to level 30 or summat, and walk out of this stupid forest with enough loot to get a hotel room and sleep in an actual bed in the Imperial City. With two pillows, just like some kind of emperor!

  — “Snake-Killin' Scheme,” Q.E.D.

  Bring it, beastie.

  By the time Era had figured it out, the Lyndwyrm had slithered across the water, and was staring down at him from a striking pose.

  The snake's mouth was twisted with disgust. It wasn't unable to cross water, it just really hated doing so.

  “Oh, vog me!” said Era.

  “...but out of all the most brutal criminals to come from the Dwarven lands, the Dark Lord V*g Stabknuckle stands out as one of the most petty, cruel, hateful, and idiotic warlords of the late 22nd century. His tenure as Dark Lord abruptly ended when, after kidnapping the Grand Duchess of Fulgan, he attempted to impress her by eating himself—and choked to death on his own legs.

  This display of stupidity, among other acts that do not bear repeating in a school textbook, led to 'V*g' becoming the most profane, vulgar, and offensive slang term in the Ariesian lexicon.”

  — History of the Ariesian Empire (sixth through eighth grade edition)

  Era doubled back from the Lyndwyrm, wracking his brain for a last-minute counterattack.

  [Liv — Lightning Skull]

  A blue skull made of sparkling energy, flying from the branch of a nearby redwood tree, struck the Lyndwyrm across the face.

  [250 DMG to Lyndwyrm]

  The snake groaned in pain, and Era took the opportunity to run toward the tree. Liv, standing on the branch, wasn't dead after all.

  Her friend Noah, looking slightly less dead, hung over the branch.

  A few hours earlier, Friar Noah Tamino, a royal attendant, received a text message from Her Blessed Imperial Candescence, the Crown Princess.

  “Noah darling ~ I need a few noonstars for the banquet tonight. No rush, shouldn't be too many monsters out there today ~ love you <3”

  The real Princess never sent that message.

  Era drew his Schiavona and raised it above his head. It hummed with green psychokinetic energy. He lifted the sword with his thoughts, which, in turn, pulled him into the air as he grasped it. Every now and then, I forget I know how to fly. I should do this more often.

  He joined Liv on the branch. “Thanks for the save.”

  “What were you thinking, just standing there?” asked Liv, while readying another lightning skull in her hands. “You're lucky to be alive.”

  “Yeah, I got distracted.”

  “No, no, no. You were straight up catatonic. 'Distracted' is when you—”

  [Lyndwyrm — Headbutt]

  Liv yelped as the snake bashed its head against the tree, shaking the branch. She dropped the lightning skull's energy, and it exploded in the river. Downstream, a few dead carp floated to the surface.

  Era grinned. “So that's distracted.”

  “Pretty much,” grumbled Liv.

  [Lyndwyrm — Headbutt]

  More shaking.

  The snake reared back for another blow, but Era quickly planted the Schiavona between the snake and the tree.

  [Lyndwyrm — Headbutt]

  [Blocked!]

  [Era — Trap Strike]

  On its own, the sword wouldn't have done much damage—not at Era's level. Since he used the snake's own kinetic energy, though...

  [Critical Hit!]

  [693 DMG to Lyndwyrm]

  ...the sword ended up planted hilt-deep between the snake's eyes, creating a steaming hot scar of white pixels all along its face.

  “Keep it in!” Liv cried. Her hands quivered with blue and yellow sparks as she prepared a powerful spell.

  For a brief second, she turned to Era and asked, “Quick, is any part of your sword not metal?”

  “Just the wrappings around the hilt, which are black leather. Other than that, it's pretty much all mythril-steel alloy with some orichalcum embellishments.”

  Ignoring the last few bits of the answer, Liv glared at the snake, drew in a deep breath, and spoke. “Lightning rod, mothavogga!”

  [Liv — Thunder Stream]

  Liv unleashed the energy in a thin, winding beam of pure white light, crackling with electric death at the sides, channeled into Era's sword. The number above the snake's head went up, up, and ever higher, sending the Lyndwyrm wriggling on the ground and screeching in agony. Sparks flew from Liv’s fingertips as she cackled like a gremlin at the beast's suffering, clearly enjoying every second of her punishing strike.

  Finally, the last of her MP dried up, and a few final sparks sputtered out from her hands. Liv panted, all her energy spent. “I...am...your god...now...” she said, before falling from the branch and into the muddy riverbank.

  [3,275 DMG to Lyndwyrm]

  [Lyndwyrm was slain!]

  The Lyndwyrm exploded in a cloud of white death.

  [VICTORY!]

  [Gained 6,200 exp and 1,200 g.]

  [Era grew to level 10!]

  [Hp: 605 Mp: 70]

  [Liv grew to level 12!]

  [HP: 710 MP: 130]

  That's it?! Come on, that thing should have had enough exp to get me to level 20, at least. I must be losing my touch...

  Era hopped to the ground and stretched a hand down to the Mystic lying in the mud. “You all right, Liv?” Hope I got her name right. What if it's Liz or something and I misheard?

  But Liv sprung to her feet on her own and tackled him with a hug, catching him completely off guard. “H
ell yeah, Slasher! We kicked its ass.”

  For a few seconds, Era forgot how to breathe. This was the first time a girl other than his sister had hugged him, so his mind had to make some last minute adjustments to keep from dissociating too hard.

  “You okay?” Liv asked.

  “I'm fine,” said Era, slipping away from her. “Just still kind of in shock from the fight.”

  “Pun intended?”

  Right, the thunder stream. “I mean, it is now.” Era smirked and snapped his fingers.

  [Era — Blade Recall]

  “Yeah, look, Slasher. Snapping your fingers doesn't give you Mystic eyes unless—”

  The Schiavona, which was thankfully unscathed, flew back into Era's scabbard. “You were saying?” he asked.

  Liv's human cargo, still slumped across the large branch, began to stir in his sleep. “What's goin' on, then?” he mumbled.

  Liv's attention turned to the tree like a shot. “Minion! Oh Gods. I completely forgot. Don't move. Don't move! You're on a—”

  “Everything okay, Livvy? Do I need to heal your wounds?”