Diamond In The Rough: The Complete Series

by Hart, Rebel

  I whipped my head up. “You already got everything?”

  She walked in, closing the door. “Of course. The pharmacy’s only two blocks down the road.”

  I strode to her and took the bag, quickly opening it up. I took out the gum and ripped it open, shoving a piece into my mouth. I needed something to keep my jaw busy. Especially since I felt so nervous. I mean, did I want this? If I was pregnant, would I feel happy?

  I think I might.

  “Want me to stay with you?” Robyn asked.

  I sighed. “Would you? Is that too much to ask?”

  “Not at all. I’ll stand outside while you’re taking care of things.”

  “Thank you. Seriously.”

  I turned toward the door in the corner. My own personal bathroom. Right inside my office. I drew in a deep breath before I headed in that direction, feeling Robyn hot on my heels. I had to make it quick because I knew my boss would be down here at any moment prying me with questions as to what had happened with Mr. Freddington.

  “Here goes nothing,” I murmured.

  I made my way into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

  4

  Clinton

  The smell of fresh paint filled my nose as sweat dripped down my brow. Our new place was fantastic. It was everything Rae and I could’ve ever wanted out of a permanent home. A three-bedroom, ranch-style home. A two-car garage that was large enough to hold both of our cars, plus my bike. A covered back porch, a sunroom right off the master suite, and a glorious fenced-in backyard. For a house with a slice of land in Los Angeles, we had gotten it for a steal.

  Mostly because the place needed a lot of work.

  “She’s gonna flip when she sees this, man,” Mike said.

  I grinned. “I know, right?”

  “I mean, I wasn’t sure about the whole white cabinets thing. Especially with this weird, sparkling pearly white backsplash you’ve got going on. But I’ll be damned if it doesn’t look good. And these matte black handles? Dude, it looks awesome.”

  “I wanted to carry the matte black around the entire house. I don’t have time to get everything in order, but I’ve changed out all of the handles in the bathrooms and stuff . Like a little theme that’s carried from room to room. I think she’ll appreciate that.”

  “How many bedrooms does this place have again?”

  I wiped at the sweat on my brow. “Three. Each of them has a bathroom, too. Which is nice.”

  “That’s really nice. And a hell of a steal in L.A.”

  “You’re not joking. We had to offer twenty grand above asking price for this place just to be in the running for it.”

  He came to stand beside me. “We’ve got time to give the master bathroom a second coat, if you want.”

  I patted his back. “Thanks for helping me with this stuff. I wouldn't have been able to get half as much done without you here.”

  He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Anything I can do to help, I will.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “Anytime.”

  As we lugged the paint cans cautiously down the hallway toward the bathroom, I sighed. I couldn't wait to see her reaction once we officially moved into this place. I’d been trolling her Pinterest page in my spare time to see all the things she was favoriting. All the things that were catching her eye. And to be honest, they shocked me. Rae had always been a ‘dark color’ kind of person. She enjoyed dim lighting. Rich, deep colors. Palettes that had black and dark blues rather than pale yellows and pinks.

  So to see her bookmarking things that had whites and pearls and soft grays?

  It was a new side of her, to say the least.

  “All right. These cabinets need one more coat of paint, and then we’re done,” I said.

  Mike set up his station. “You knock out the left and I’ll knock out the right?”

  “Meet in the middle?”

  He nodded. “Ready when you are.”

  There were plenty of things Rae didn’t like about this house. But I’d managed to get her to see the potential it had. With a new coat of paint, a different backsplash, and a nice professional cleaning of the floors, this place had a brand new sparkle to it. Mike had helped me with a lot, too. Every time I had to meet him here, I told Rae it was because I had to work. Because I had meetings. Because I had research to do. And while it was true--mostly--part of me felt guilty for lying to her.

  I knew the little white lie would have a huge payoff once she saw this place.

  But she was beginning to make mention of the fact that her weekends were feeling more lonely.

  “Did you return the power washer?” Michael asked.

  I nodded. “Yep. Finally. That place has odd hours of operation. Took me three tries and an endless amount of hiding it from Rae before I finally got it turned in.”

  “Did they charge you a late fee?”

  “Not after showing them what all I had to go through in order to get the damn thing back to them.”

  He snickered. “Good. The carpets look nice, too.”

  “I’ve got someone coming in tonight to really shine up the hardwood and the tile before we move in. I want this place to look completely different when Rae finally sees it.”

  “Trust me, you’ve done a good job with that. Because this place was nasty when we first got our hands on it.”

  I sighed. “So am I going to have to ask? Or are you going to bring it up?”

  He groaned. “Really? We have to do this now?”

  “What the hell did you think I was going to do? Just ignore it? I know you and Allison have been going through a rough patch for a while now.”

  “A while? Try the past year.”

  “So it hasn’t improved at all?”

  He shrugged. “It’s all right, I guess. All things considered.”

  “Just all right?”

  I watched Mike jam his paintbrush into the can, so I did the same. We sat on the floor, feeling the cool breeze from outside filtering through the open bathroom window. I crossed my legs and settled my elbows on my knees, giving him the space he needed to gather his thoughts. I knew I’d have to practically pry this out of him.

  “Come on, man. It’s me, for crying out loud. Just tell me what’s up,” I said.

  He cleared his throat. “She doesn’t talk to me anymore, Clint. She’s shut down. It’s like I can’t get through to her. Our house is so quiet all the time. We eat dinners and breakfasts together in silence. All the time. Our evenings are filled with me silently watching the news while she silently reads a book. Or flips through a magazine. Or plays on her phone.”

  “Well, shit. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

  “I feel like she doesn’t want to be there. Or be with me. It almost feels like she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”

  “Have you said any of this to her?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know, man. I just--I’d say we’d have to work on our communication skills. But you have to have some sort of communication in order to have something to work on. And we have none of it. How do you work on communication if there is none to work on?”

  “That’s fucked up.”

  “Yeah. It is. And that’s been my life for the past year. Living with a roommate I feel like I’ve perpetually pissed off.”

  I couldn't imagine what he was going through. Rae and I had never struggled with issues like that. If anything, talking too much got us into trouble with one another. Not in a bad way. But in a blunt way. And I wasn’t sure what I’d do in his shoes. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I felt like I was losing Rae. Or growing distant from her.

  Well, technically…

  “How did you and Rae get over that hump?” Mike asked.

  “You mean, before we decided to travel for a while?”

  “Yeah. When the two of you were kind of growing apart, or whatever. How did you get through it?”

  I shrugged. “We talked.”


  He snickered. “Thanks.”

  I scooted closer to him. “Mike, I’m serious. If she’s not talking to you, then step up. Talk to her. Tell her how you’re feeling, even if she gives you nothing back.”

  “What if she doesn't, though?”

  I shook my head. “Maybe you guys need a vacation. Some quality time together to really push hard and see if you can work your way back to each other. Rae and I got a lot of that while we were traveling that year. It really helped us out, having that time together.”

  “Maybe.”

  I paused. “Or counseling. I’ve heard that helps people a lot.”

  He frowned. “Counseling is for people who are much worse off than me and Allison.”

  “I wouldn't be so sure about that.”

  He paused. “What? You think we’re worse off than I think?”

  “No, Mike. I just think you two could really benefit from an unbiased party listening and peering into your relationship. That’s all.”

  “I don’t know, dude.”

  “Why not? If you love her, which I know you do, why not pull out all the stops and see if you guys can fight for this?”

  “I am fighting, Clint.”

  I shrugged. “Is sitting in silence and not speaking your mind really fighting, though, Mike?”

  He stared at me for a long time before he finally nodded.

  “I’ll consider it. How does that sound?” he asked.

  I grinned. “Sounds better than sitting in silence and torturing yourself.”

  He snickered. “You’re damn right it does.”

  I picked up my brush. “All right. Ready to get this done? It’s the last thing we need to do before move-in day.”

  He picked up his brush, too. “Let’s knock this out and get some food. I’m starving.”

  “Steaks. On me. So don’t fuck it up.”

  “When free food is involved? I never fuck it up.”

  5

  Rae

  Knock, knock, knock. “Rae?”

  I felt my heart hammering in my knees. “Yeah, Robyn?”

  “You okay in there? You’ve been in the bathroom for ten minutes now.”

  I swallowed hard. “Okay.”

  I heard the doorknob jiggle. “Can you let me in?”

  My mouth ran dry. I kept blinking, thinking that the test might change. Or that I might wake up. Or that I was having a stroke and would suddenly appear in the hospital. I reached toward the pregnancy test and picked it up. I held it to my face, making damn sure I didn’t misinterpret any of the water marks.

  But there was no mistaking it.

  I’m pregnant?

  “Rae. Please, let me in.”

  I reached for the bathroom door. “Sorry. Come on in.”

  I heard the door open. “I’m assuming the test is done?”

  I nodded slowly. “Uh huh.”

  I felt Robyn work her way behind me. I looked up at the mirror and watched her eyes widen. And then the most bombastic squeal I’d ever heard fell from her lips.

  “Oh! My! Gosh!”

  I winced. “Yep.”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  “Seems so.”

  “That’s definitely two red lines. You’re definitely pregnant.”

  I placed my hand over my belly button. “I guess I am.”

  “Well, say something! Is this good? Are you happy? Should we go celebrate?”

  I blinked. “I’m pregnant.”

  I slowly turned around and faced my assistant. Tears percolated behind my eyes, lining them as I looked at her. I gazed down at the test again, swallowing as hard as I could. The last thing I needed was to cry all of my makeup off at work. Especially when I didn’t have everything I needed to paint it back on.

  “My God, I’m pregnant,” I said.

  Robyn wrapped her arms around me and I gave in. I cried into her shoulder, bouncing between elated and worried. Excited and panicked. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know how to feel. But as I clutched that pregnancy test with all of my might, a question rushed through my mind.

  What will Clint think?

  Robyn rubbed my back. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. Take some breaths.”

  I squeaked. “I’m pregnant.”

  She nodded. “Yes, you are. And until we can figure out what this is and how to address it, this stays between us. Okay?”

  I sniffled. “At least until I tell Clint.”

  “Oh, of course. Definitely.”

  I pulled away from her grasp and felt her wiping at my tears. She started pulling tissues and makeup wipes out of her bag, and I let her clean me up. I was too tired to think about doing it myself. Besides, I was already wracking my brain with ways to break this news to Clint. Did I want to go for cute? Or memorable? Did I want to keep it a small thing between us? How long into the move did I wait before I told him? Was this something that had to be addressed tonight?

  “Shit,” I whispered.

  “Hey, it’s okay. Look at me.”

  Robyn gripped my arms as my eyes met hers.

  “Rae, this is all going to be fine. No matter what decision you make, you know that man of yours is going to support you.”

  I swallowed hard. “What if he isn’t ready?”

  “Are you ready?”

  I paused. “I don’t know.”

  She cupped my cheeks. “Then it sounds like you need some sleep first. Sleep, food, and to lay off the coffee.”

  “Wait, I can’t have coffee?”

  She giggled. “Nope. Caffeine is a stimulant, and bad during pregnancies.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “My sister’s got five kids. I’m very familiar with pregnancy.”

  I swallowed hard. “What else shouldn't I be doing?”

  “If you want caffeine, go for tea. But no strong caffeinated substances. No alcohol, duh. Lots of iron and folic acid. Ginger suckers for the nausea. As healthy of a diet as you can stand until you get on prenatal vitamins. Then your body can handle a couple dozen donuts or so when you’re craving them badly enough.”

  “Oh, good Lord.”

  She rubbed my arms. “It’s going to be fine. Just make sure you get some rest.”

  I sighed. “Thank you. For this. And for, you know, keeping it to yourself.”

  “Of course. It’s our little secret. And just so you know? I’m happy for you. Clint is going to die with excitement once you tell him.”

  The rest of my workday passed in a haze. Robyn was kind enough to help put some of my makeup back on. But that was the only thing I remembered. The only reminders I had of my day were the minutes of my meetings Robyn sent to me. Thank fuck she was a detailed-oriented person. Because I remembered none of this stuff. I was too preoccupied. Too ‘in my own mind’ to pull myself out of it.

  I can’t go all week like this.

  I started looking some things up online. I searched every version of ‘surprise baby announcement’ I could. Trying to find inspiration. Trying to swallow down my panic. Trying to convince myself that it would all be okay. Financially, we were okay. We didn’t have too much debt from my degree. Our vehicles were paid off. We didn’t dare touch our credit card unless it was an emergency. On that front, we were just fine.

  It was everything else.

  Clint and I had plans. And a baby didn’t work itself into those plans until much later. Much, much later. We had agreed on being older parents. We made a pact with one another that we’d start trying once we both turned thirty. But even then, we wouldn't push it. No fertility tests or checking my ovulation. None of that stuff that made couples crazy. We made an agreement that I’d simply come off my birth control. Simple as that.

  “Wait a second,” I murmured.

  I abandoned my internet searches and picked up my purse. I rummaged around, digging all the way to the bottom until I found it. That pale blue pouch that held my pills. I ripped it out of my purse and flipped it open. And when I saw what had happened, my jaw hit the floor.


  Holy shit, I’ve forgotten my pills.

  “Ten days?” I asked breathlessly.

  I hadn’t just forgotten them. I downright didn’t take them. I picked up my phone and navigated to my calendar, trying to figure out why the hell it hadn’t dinged at me. Alarms were the bane of my existence. I could switch them off in a heartbeat and not give them a second thought. But I synced my work with my phone calendar. So, no matter where I was or what I was doing, when that alert popped up to take my birth control, I was on it.

  “Shit,” I hissed.

  There was no calendar notification. For the past ten days exactly, there had been no notification on my calendar. How was that possible? I’d had the same notification set for every single day for the past--

  Oh, boy.

  “Robyn!?”

  My door whipped open. “Hey. What’s up?”

  “When you make one of those recurring, unending things on a calendar, is it actually unending? Or, do those kinds of things have a termination date anyway?”

  “Oh. Yeah. No. ‘Unending’ really means ‘for the next ten years.’ Then you have to set it back up. Why?”

  Well, fuck. “No reason. Just wondering. Thank you.”

  “Not a problem. Sure I can’t get you anything?”

  “I’m sure. Thanks.”

  I leaned back into my chair and ran my hand through my hair. Ten years. It had been ten years since I’d set that stupid calendar notification up on my phone. The one that followed me around everywhere. Through every phone change, every laptop change, and every work environment change.

  How the hell did I not notice that?

  I sighed as I turned my attention back to my search. Things weren’t as bad as my mind was making them out to be. That much I knew for certain. Clint did eventually want children. Just not now. We eventually wanted to build a family together. Just not now.

  What would we name our child?

  I went from looking up ways to surprise Clint to searching for baby names. And I killed the back half of my day doing just that. Hell, I almost missed Luther’s retirement party at the end of the day because of it. The more time passed, the more excited I grew. A baby. I was going to have a baby. With the man I loved more than anything else in this world.