Love and Decay, Volume One

by Rachel Higginson

  I could have fought him or resisted, but his small act of kindness made it possible to put one foot in front of the other. Wherever I was going had to be a terrible place… it had to be so much worse than anything yet, but what choice did I have?

  It seemed like I could be shot and killed now or die from the unknown terrible thing waiting for me on that truck.

  These were not choices anyone should have to make! This was too much for me.

  I had just barely controlled my panic when I stepped from the cage. My footsteps fell heavily on the dusty ground. I couldn’t bring myself to move forward. The people aboard wailed despairingly and I did not want to be one of them.

  Stubbornness like I had never known started to swell inside of me. These men were not only leading me to my death, but also were taking me away from my loved ones. They were taking me away from Reagan. Away from Page.

  Away from Nelson.

  The men started to shout at me in Spanish. For some reason they seemed reluctant to treat me as badly as the other people. They pointed their guns at me, but they didn’t pull the triggers.

  I stumbled with the next step. The ringing became increasingly louder until it drowned out their foreign growls. The darkness in my peripheral spread; it blinded me completely.

  And then I fell.

  ----

  “Soy medico!”

  My head spun and dipped, taking my stomach with it. I was going to be sick.

  “Yo soy medico!”

  Everything was black so I opened my eyes and then everything was way, way too bright. I winced against the blinding sunlight and tried to think around the pain in my temple.

  “Soy medico! Yo soy medico!”

  “Ah!” I winced when a pain low in my side surprised me.

  “Soy medico!” a voice ripped through the air.

  I heard the clanging of the keys opening a lock and a rusty door squeak open. I struggled to open my eyes and finally succeeded when rough, warm hands cupped my face.

  I blinked up into Nelson’s face. His eyes were as wide and terrified as I had ever seen them and his hands shook against my face.

  How?

  How was he here?

  He tore his eyes away from mine and looked up at the men standing around us. “American doctor,” he told them. “Soy medico Americana.”

  They barked orders at him in Spanish. I knew he didn’t know much Spanish so I didn’t believe he could understand them and I was no help.

  I couldn’t even comprehend what was happening right now. How did Nelson get here? How did I end up on the ground?

  “I told them I’m a doctor, Haley,” he whispered to me. His blue eyes flashed with pain and fear. The lines on his face drew sharp with concern. “They are going to let me go with you.”

  My lungs drew the first real breath since we had been separated. I relaxed my head and neck and closed my eyes as a tear leaked out.

  “Okay,” I whispered through a croaking voice. I was suddenly very thirsty. “Okay.” I had Nelson back. I could face this… this whatever it was.

  I looked up at the man that made this impossible life worth fighting for and wondered if he would be safer here. I didn’t know where that truck was going to take us.

  And I realized it didn’t matter.

  I was too selfish to let Nelson stay behind. By some miracle of God, I had been given the opportunity to stay with him. I wasn’t going to waste this.

  “I need you to stand up, Hales. Can you do that?” Nelson’s blue gaze held mine unwaveringly.

  I nodded, even though that basically felt impossible. The men started to grow anxious around us. Their guns swung more frequently and they shifted uneasily from foot to foot. They had been patient with me, but I couldn’t press my luck.

  Nelson put his arms underneath mine and helped me to my feet. I immediately had to lean on him, but he was there to catch me. He supported me as we walked to the back of the truck and helped me crawl inside.

  It wasn’t until I was sitting with my back against the cool interior that I heard her screaming my name. “Haley!” she shouted above the loud growl of the truck engine.

  I pulled myself to shaky knees and looked out at the vast, never-ending desert spotted with cage after cage after cage.

  Reagan jumped up and down inside hers, desperate to grab my attention. I watched her hand pop out of the side of her cell and tried not to cry.

  “Don’t die!” She screamed at me. “Live, Haley. Live.”

  I couldn’t form words through the lump in my throat. I couldn’t promise her that. I couldn’t promise her anything.

  How could I leave my friend to these people? To the fate that awaited her here?

  And what about my fate? Where were they taking us?

  Nelson climbed into the back with me. He stayed standing, protecting me with his body. I leaned against his legs and started to cry.

  Silent tears tracked down my cheeks and I knew without a doubt that things could not get any worse.

  Well, until a second cage was emptied and they loaded Miller and Page onto the truck, too.

  Chapter Two

  The slave auction.

  That’s where the truck took us.

  Nelson had gathered Page and Miller to our sides and we rode the journey to a small, Mexican village in darkness and in silence.

  I had never seen Nelson so infuriated before. I had never felt his anger like a palpable thing. We didn’t speak. We couldn’t. There were too many fears and uncertainties looming over us.

  So instead, we huddled close to one another and I put my arms around two shaking children and let Nelson hold my hand.

  Nelson had tried to ask some of the others where we were headed because they seemed to know, but we couldn’t understand their answers.

  The only words I picked up were “bebe” and “dinero.” I didn’t like those two words together, so I chose to ignore them.

  Well, for as long as I could.

  Eventually we pulled into town and more armed men unloaded us. They herded us to the center of a square where a wooden platform had been built. There was a pen standing next to it, made out of rotting wood boards.

  It reminded me of something you would keep livestock in.

  So naturally, they put the forty or so human beings inside. That was the worth of humanity these days. We were no better than cattle or pigs. These evil men used us to feed their Zombie armies or themselves. They killed us without a second thought. And sold us like we were a commodity to trade.

  I hated this place. I hated the end of the world.

  I hated all of these psychopaths.

  Maybe death would have been better. Even for my baby. Maybe it was better to end this now than bring a child into this nightmare.

  Nelson squeezed my hand and drew me to his side.

  And just like that my fire to survive was rekindled.

  We placed Miller and Page behind us, hoping nobody would notice them.

  “Stay close to me,” I whispered to them.

  “Haley, I’m scared.” Page’s voice was a terrified tremble.

  I whirled around and threw my arms around her. I shouldn’t draw attention to us, but I couldn’t help it. What did it matter at this point? We were already here. This was already in motion.

  We were about to be sold. Separated forever from each other and from everyone else we loved.

  I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t. I looked up at Nelson, silently pleading with him to have an answer.

  If we fought now, they would shoot us.

  But if we didn’t fight, they would tear us apart.

  And we would probably die anyway.

  Nelson knelt next me and took a slow breath before saying, “This is pretty bad.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh a little hysterically. He gave me an apologetic look and my heart nearly shattered. I hated that he looked so helpless, so utterly trapped.

  “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted in a low voice. “I don’t know how to
get out of this one.”

  “There has to be a way,” Miller demanded, more angry than afraid. “We could steal their guns. We could just run.”

  “There are too many of them,” Nelson argued. “They’d shoot us before we got over the fence.”

  “Then let them!” Miller’s face turned red as he raised his voice and clenched his fists.

  Nelson leaned in and looked at him furiously, “I will not willingly let my wife, my child and my little sister get killed, so you’d better rethink your plan fast.”

  “They’re going to die anyway, Nelson! Clue in!”

  Nelson had Miller’s shirt in his fist before I could take a breath. He brought him up nose to nose and shook him roughly. Miller looked tiny in Nelson’s furious hands. I sucked back a gasp and waited for the guns to turn on us.

  “They’re not,” Nelson growled. “They are not going to die. Not one of us is.” Nelson dropped Miller aggressively before turning to Page and me. “We’re not going to die,” he reinforced. “I’m going to figure a way out of this.”

  I nodded. I believed him.

  “I love you,” he said to his sister.

  “I love you too,” she whispered back, not able to hold in the tears anymore.

  “I love you, Hales. More than I ever knew was possible.”

  I leaned into him until my dry lips pressed against his cracked ones, “I love you too.”

  Men started to arrive then. They walked around our pen and studied us carefully.

  I could pick out three territory leaders parading all of their muscle. Adela had said there were six, but I remembered one territory had attacked Diego the day we escaped. I wondered if that leader had managed to survive or if Diego had taken them out in his vengeance.

  Or maybe it was the other way around because I couldn’t find Diego either.

  That was probably a good thing.

  We stayed in our tight huddle and tried not to pay attention to the open gawking and fingers pointed our way. My belly stayed hidden as much as possible in our small circle. I didn’t know why my baby was worthy money or why anyone would want a pregnant girl as a slave.

  It didn’t make any sense to me.

  And I really had no desire to figure it out.

  I spent the hour before the auction going through every possible outcome in my head. I had to figure out a way to escape this craziness, to get to safety and rescue all of my friends.

  But there was no way to make it work.

  And I was a shadow of the threat I used to be.

  My fingers itched for a weapon and my feet longed to run as fast as they used to. The baby not only slowed me down, but made me short of breath, too breathless to face the endless heat of the desert and hope to live.

  Nelson’s hand rested between my shoulder blades, where his thumb traced a soothing path. I closed my eyes and let his touch sink into me. I memorized the feel of it, the heat of it.

  This might be the very last time I saw him, I would have to keep this moment with me for the rest of my life.

  Tears started to fall again, but there was nothing I could do about them.

  I was the definition of despair.

  A stranger’s voice called, “Psst.”

  My head snapped up searching for whoever wanted our attention.

  “Psst. Americans.” The voice tried harder.

  I elbowed Nelson. A man wearing a tan, burlap cloak that nearly covered his face, stood at the side of the pen. His whole head was tipped down so that his face was concealed. “Americans,” he hissed at us in a very American voice.

  Nelson discretely moved us over a few steps. “Who are you?” he asked the man in a low voice.

  The men’s head lifted slightly, revealing a bushy salt-and-peppered beard and weathered, tanned skin. “Help.”

  “Why?” Nelson demanded.

  The man didn’t move when he answered, “Why not?”

  “Are you going to feed us to your cult of cannibals?” Nelson growled.

  I tried not to smile. That was a legitimate concern.

  “No,” the man answered. “Not today.” I wondered if I imagined the lilt of amusement in his voice. “I’m going to get you out of here.”

  “Why?” Nelson spit.

  The man’s head lifted all the way up and I was surprised by the brightest, greenest eyes I had ever seen. They stared at us with a fervor for life I had not seen in years. He had to be at least fifty and between the wrinkles near his eyes and on his forehead, he seemed to have lived a very hard life.

  This time I watched his lips curve into a smirk. “Would you believe divine providence?”

  I felt my mouth unhinge as I gaped at him. “No,” I said.

  He let out a low chuckle, “I didn’t think so.” Someone pushed him from behind. He dropped his head again and reached out with a boney finger. “Hunch over to hide your stomach,” he instructed quickly. “And all of you should try to look stupid.”

  “Stupid?” I bugged my eyes out at Nelson. “What does that mean?”

  Nelson watched the man disappear into the crowd. “I don’t know,” he said in a distant voice. Suddenly, he snapped into focus and turned his attention on us. “But we’d better do what he said.”

  “Do you believe him?” The pressure in my chest tightened, but I couldn’t figure out if it was from hope or from more despair.

  The lines around Nelson’s mouth deepened as he frowned at his little sister. “That he’s here because of divine providence? I don’t know. It wouldn’t be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.” He reached out and squeezed my knee, “We need a miracle, Haley. Maybe this is it.”

  I took a deep breath and chose to believe his words. This guy could be a psycho for all we knew. But was he any worse than the rest of the guys here?

  I wanted to believe it didn’t get any worse than what we had already seen, but I knew better. For some ungodly reason, things just kept getting scarier and scarier for us.

  Who knew what else was in store?

  The sun reached its highest point in the sky and beat down on us with a tangible oppression. The pain in my side spread across my abdomen and tightened with intensity. I stooped over when a particularly bad cramp squeezed through me.

  I was dehydrated and starving. I hoped these were signs that I needed to relax and have a drink of water.

  Neither was likely to happen… Still, they were better than the alternative.

  The narrow streets surrounding the square started to fill with people. Activity increased, more men surrounded our pen and the volume of the chatter made it difficult to hear.

  “Where did all of these people come from?” Miller asked. “I thought that girl said there were only six territory leaders.”

  “In this part of Mexico,” Nelson explained. “There was a man that spoke English in my cage. He said that people come from all over Mexico for the auction. The territory owners only run the upper part of the country. The middle is run by Mexico City. And Mexico City is run by ex-government. And below that I guess nobody knows.”

  “Could it be free?” I whispered, irrational hope swelling inside of me. We probably weren’t going to make it through the day. But what if we did? What if we made it through Mexico?

  “It’s possible,” Nelson shouted to be heard. “Reagan might be right after all.”

  “But how are we going to get out of here?” Page hollered. “These people scare me, Nelson!”

  He didn’t hesitate to pull his little sister into his body. He wrapped his strong, protective arms around her and then bent his head to speak into her ear.

  I knew he was reassuring her that he would not let anything happen to her. A fresh wave of grief washed over me as I tried to sustain the hope I’d felt just a bit ago. There was so much stacked against us…

  Another pang of sharp pain flashed through my abdomen. I felt the upper part of my stomach tighten like a fist, clenching until the knuckles turned white. I bent over, surprised by the intensity of pain that seemed to
come out of nowhere. Nausea rolled through me as I waited out the cramps.

  “Haley?” Nelson’s hand landed on my back. His voice held a hundred unspoken concerns.

  “I’m fine,” I promised. I was not fine.

  “Haley, you need to tell me if something is going on. Right now,” Nelson demanded.

  I wanted to roll my eyes, because, I mean… what was he going to do about it? But I refrained. I took a deep, steadying breath and tried not to cry.

  “Haley?” Page squeaked. She slipped her hand into mine and I immediately felt calmer.

  I met Nelson’s eyes and knew he would get the truth from me. I had to give it to him. I couldn’t look at him and lie to him. It just wasn’t in me.

  “I don’t know if something is going on,” I confessed. “But I do not feel good.”

  “Indigestion?” he guessed.

  I shook my head.

  “Baby?” he mouthed.

  I nodded my head once and watched the color drain from his face. “I’ll be fine,” I rushed to assure him. “I will be. The baby will be.”

  He nodded absently.

  “Nelson,” I snapped, harsher than I intended. He jumped, but his eyes focused. “I’ll be okay because I have to be okay, yeah?” He nodded again, with purpose this time. “But maybe make sure we get out of here today, just in case.”

  He swallowed thickly and for the first time in my entire pregnancy, he looked like the freaked-out, unprepared father that was afraid of what it actually meant to have a kid.

  “I know you.” The slimy, thickly accented voice came from behind me. He sounded satisfied and thoughtful. “It’s funny to run into you here. I thought maybe you had a chance or you know, maybe you might be dead already.”

  I spun around and took a step back into Nelson. His arm came around my waist and his hand landed on my belly. Page melted into her brother’s side and Miller stepped in front of her.

  Diego faced us with his hand resting on a gun tucked into his belt. His eyes glinted maliciously, but his lips curved into an arrogant sneer.

  We didn’t say anything to him. We barely acknowledged his presence. His men fanned out behind him, keeping the press of the crowd from getting too close. I recognized some of them.