What About Us

by Sidney Halston

  “Alex, he’s innocent. I swear. I don’t know how else to—”

  He covers my mouth with his, essentially shutting me up. “Sweetheart, if we talk about it, we’ll end up fighting. So, maybe it’s best we don’t talk about it.”

  I let out a big breath. I don’t know if I can just walk around pretending my father doesn’t exist. Or be in a relationship with a man who thinks so poorly of my father, the man I love most in the world. As he kisses down my neck, I decide maybe it’s best to just take this day by day.

  I’ve always been good at pretending everything is all right.

  Chapter 11

  Alex

  Helen and I have gotten into a routine in the past week. During the day, I leave for work and she stays at my house doing her job. I don’t know what exactly she does, but I do know that my schedule has never been more organized and all the emails that I hate answering have been answered. The only emails I’ve needed to handle are the top-priority ones. When I get home in the evening, she makes it a point to start a conversation with one of the staff members in order for me to participate. For instance, I was not aware Mrs. Roe was going through a divorce or that Ricardo, the maintenance manager, and his wife recently had twin girls. The staff looks less anxious when I’m around, and the smiles they give me when I walk into a room seem genuine now.

  And our nights…our nights are filled with passion. Every evening Helen tries to convince me that her hotel is safe, but I always convince her to stay…mostly with my mouth. She’s even joined me in a game of racquetball, and I learned that Helen Archer is pretty good at sports.

  “You’ve been avoiding me,” Bradley says as soon as I answer his call.

  “I have not. I’ve been busy.”

  “With your assistant?” I hear the smirk in his tone.

  When I don’t deny it, he continues. “Alex, are you sure you know what you’re doing? Your mother, if she—”

  “Don’t worry about it—I have it under control.”

  “If you say so. Just remember I was there when it all went down and your father—”

  “I said, I have it under control,” I snap.

  “Fine, then I’ll see you back here in a few weeks for your mother’s seventieth birthday.”

  “Of course.” I fume, ending the call shortly thereafter. The memory of how I discovered my father’s body, and the deep depression my mother went through, haunts me, and I don’t need Bradley reminding me.

  I’m in a foul mood all day.

  What would my father think about my feelings for Helen? I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit to having some deep feelings for her. I’ve always had them, and her coming back into my life made it real.

  Today she left early to go pay her attorney in order to get things moving with her soon-to-be ex-husband. I told her I could handle it for her, but she wanted to take care of it herself. Nevertheless, I sent my team of attorneys an email with instructions to get together with her attorney and make sure that the matter is handled expeditiously. Yes, I’m letting her handle her own problems like she requested. But it doesn’t mean I can’t check to make sure everything is done correctly. By the end of the day, Luke will be served with divorce papers.

  I wonder what’s going to happen when she gets her home back. Will she stay here, or move back home?

  I played with fire by hiring her and I knew I was going to get burned. I knew it and I did it anyway.

  But then I think of my father and I get mad at myself.

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  Yes, I am attracted to her. God, am I ever. She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. But it’s more than that. She’s smart and resilient. She’s a survivor, even if she was taught to cross her legs at the ankle and which fork to use for salads, not how to make a dollar last for two meals and how to fix a broken pantry door. She is everything I’m not. She lights up a room with her smile, she makes people feel comfortable when she’s around, and she always says the right thing at the right time.

  But that doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I can’t have a real, long-term relationship with her and she deserves to know this. She doesn’t need anyone else walking out of her life. I need to tell her before we get in deeper.

  The next morning, I’m getting dressed for work when she sits up on my bed swaddled in one of my blankets. Normally, we get up together and have breakfast before I leave for work. Today, however, I couldn’t sleep, and at five in the morning I got out of bed, quietly, and decided to start the day early. After an hour playing racquetball, I took a shower, and now I’m almost ready to leave.

  “Were you just going to leave? I’m staying in your house, so it’s going to be awkward if you run away.”

  She’s teasing me and I don’t think she realizes that I was actually about to head out. “Wait.” Her expression changes. “You were going to leave…”

  “No. Well, I was—I’m going to work.”

  “It’s early. Everything okay?”

  “Yes.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head. “See you later,” I say because I’m too much of a pussy to say everything that’s on my mind.

  Helen

  Something is wrong with Alex and I don’t know what it is. He’s moodier than usual. I can usually handle his irritability because normally, it’s not directed at me. But today, it is, I think. I decide to ignore it and let him work it out on his own.

  I’m excited about furniture shopping today for the new bedroom. I decided to keep the bed he has upstairs, but I want to buy a chest for his clothes and new chairs for the sitting area. I take his credit card, put it in my wallet, and head out.

  I see the security detail follow me, like he does every single day, but he’s easy enough to ignore. I could argue about it with Alex, but Alex isn’t happy if he doesn’t get his way. Normally, that pisses me off, but I have to pick my battles and this isn’t one of them. Especially since it gives him peace of mind to know I’m safe.

  I dial Gina. “Hey girl, how’re you doing?”

  “Great. You?”

  “Good. I think Luke was served with the papers yesterday. If not, it’s going to be today. I’m one step closer to getting my house back.”

  “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day!” Gina exclaims, enthusiastically.

  “I’m going to be by the club today and I want to bring them some treats. Two dozen cupcakes, whatever flavors you want. Mix ’em up. And I want to get Alex a pie but he’s allergic to cinnamon, so nothing with cinnamon.”

  “Sure. I have a new lemon meringue recipe I’ve been working on. They’re flying off the shelves. I’ll save you one.”

  “Awesome! I’ll see you later this afternoon. I want to know everything you’ve been up to!”

  “Same here, girl. Buying a pie for your enemy? I need an update on your life!” We hang up and I continue on to my shopping expedition.

  * * *

  —

  I’ve been shopping for three hours and have found the perfect piece of furniture to fit the room. Alex is going to absolutely love it. I finish charging it and schedule a delivery to the house. The room is almost finished and I can’t wait for Alex to see the final product. I’m a little worried he won’t like moving downstairs, but after spending a small fortune on the blinds in the dome roof, I know it’ll be perfect. I text Gina to let her know I’m on my way there and as I head over, I realize I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long, long time.

  I park my car at the bakeshop and when I get out, I hear a familiar voice bellowing at me. Fuck!

  “You bitch. You think that a divorce is going to get me to leave that house? If you fuck with me, I’ll make sure everyone knows how you paid for that house. You’ll go straight to jail. That’s what you want?”

  He’s getting closer and closer
to me.

  “I knew I’d find you at the mall. Usin’ up your daddy’s money. You weren’t easy to find, but I remembered the password on your phone and you’d be surprised how easy it is to track a cellphone with a computer and a password. Not so dumb, sweets, huh?” He taps his forehead.

  Before I know it, my back is against the car and he’s inches away from me. Luckily, the security detail’s on hand, and I hear Jimmy before I see him. “Get the fuck away.”

  “Not gonna happen.”

  “I’m not going to let you scare me, Luke. You hit me. You’re squatting in my house. I’m done with you!” I rage at the top of my lungs.

  He puts his hands up in surrender. “Good to know, bitch. I came here as a warning, but if that’s how you wanna play it, then game on!”

  He shoves away from Jimmy and gets into his car, which I hadn’t even noticed was parked there. I’m shaking by the time I walk into the bakeshop. I have zero doubt that Jimmy is calling both Alex and the police.

  Alex

  Jimmy called and told me what happened. I instructed him to follow Luke and now here I am, rushing to the address he gave me. I’m ending this shit once and for all. I’m also calling in favors and making a huge contribution to the police benevolent fund for this. I peel into the parking lot of a convenience store, seething. “He’s inside,” Jimmy says when I get out of my car. “What’re you going to do?”

  “What I should’ve done last time.” I glance around and see that the plainclothes cops have arrived as well. They nod at me, then park close enough to observe, but not so close that they’ll be noticed. “No matter what happens, I don’t want you to get involved, understand?”

  Jimmy frowns and then nods, hesitantly.

  Luke strolls out with a brown bag and what looks like a beer. He opens the can and takes a huge chug, then starts walking to his car. He stops short when he sees me leaning against it, casually. “Oh, just who I wanted to see. The man fucking my wife,” he sneers, taking another chug of beer.

  “You ever come near her again, I’ll fuck you up so bad, you won’t know how to spell ‘wife.’ Or maybe,” and I laugh, humorlessly, “you don’t know how to spell ‘wife’ now.”

  “Go fuck yourself!” he yells. “Get off my car.”

  I push myself up but don’t leave. “So, you’re the kind of man who needs to hit women to get his rocks off, huh? And not only that, you need to scare a woman into staying with you. Seems mighty manly of you.”

  “You say one more word…”

  I get in his face; judging by his breath, this isn’t his first beer of the day. “And you’ll what? You’re a drunk loser living off his ex-wife’s hard work. You’ve got a pussy’s aim, by the look of that small bruise you left on Helen. I’m surprised she didn’t—”

  As his right arm winds back, my instinct is to duck, but instead I clench my fists shut and wait the nanosecond it takes for him to release it on my face.

  Bam!

  Damn it. That hurt. I open and close my mouth. “See, just what I thought. Pussy.”

  Then I hear the click of a gun being cocked.

  That, I did not expect.

  He points it right at my face. “Who’s the pussy now?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flurry of activity near me. “Drop your weapon!” I hear the booming voice from next to me, but I can’t move my face for fear that any sudden movement will get me shot. “I said, drop your goddamn weapon!”

  Luke’s hand is shaking now and I don’t know what he’s going to do. Desperation makes you do crazy things. For a split second, he looks away to see who’s making those demands of him, and I take the opportunity to grab his arm. He presses the trigger at the same moment and the bullet flies out and onto the concrete, ricocheting and hitting one of the police officers in the leg.

  The next two hours are chaos. Luke is read his rights and arrested immediately. He’s charged with attempted murder, battery on a police officer, and even with drunk driving, since they found a bunch of empty beer cans in his car. He’s not getting out of jail for a very, very long time.

  Luckily, the bullet only grazed the police officer and after a dozen apologies and thank-yous, I send an email to Monique to issue a very large donation to the Dade County Police Benevolent Association.

  “That was a stupid move, Mr. Archer, with all due respect,” Jimmy says as we finish making our statements and walk toward our cars.

  “I didn’t know he had a gun. I just wanted to egg him on. I wanted him to hit me, not shoot me.”

  I run my hands through my hair. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Ever. Being with Helen makes me do completely irresponsible and dumb things, like purposely getting punched in the face and almost getting shot.

  When I get home, Helen’s waiting for me in the living room. She looks like she’s been to hell; her eyes are puffy and she’s clearly been running her hands through her hair. When she sees me, she runs straight to me and wraps her arms around me. “Are you okay? Why didn’t you answer the phone? I’ve been worried sick. It’s been all over the local news. Oh my God, your face…”

  “Shhh!” I say as she starts crying in earnest. “Luke’s not going to be bothering you anymore. He’s going to be in prison for a very long time. He had a lot of priors, and this was the last straw.”

  “I don’t care about that. I never, ever want you to do anything like that again. If something happened to you…” She starts sobbing against my chest. I’m feeling all sorts of things that I can’t explain. Then she says the one thing that simply blows me away.

  “I love you,” she whispers as she rains kisses all over my face.

  Her words make my heart swell but also ache. I love her too. I know this for a fact, but saying it feels like a betrayal of my dead father. I lift her up, her legs wrapping around my waist, and walk up the stairs and into my bedroom.

  The motherfucker was carrying a gun. He could have taken it out and hurt Helen. The thought of that is so overwhelming I can barely control myself. I kiss her, hard, needing to feel her. I lay her on my bed and pull my shirt over my head and throw it aside. She is quick to discard her own clothing too. Without any precursor, she spreads her thighs for me and I slide inside. I flip us over still connected, my back to the headboard, and we make love, chest to chest, as she rides me mercilessly into the most intense orgasm of my life.

  What am I going to do with this woman?

  Helen

  The next day I have the cupcakes delivered to Duality, because I don’t want to leave Alex. He has a headache and half of his face is black and blue. As for the lemon meringue pie, Gina delivers that personally to Alex’s house.

  Before I’ve had the chance to properly introduce them, Gina’s already hugging Alex. “Uh…he’s not much of a hugger, G.”

  “I don’t care. He got rid of Luke for you. I’m hugging him.” After a long embrace, she pulls back and gives him a big kiss on the cheek. “I’m going to hug you again.” And she does. Alex has an awkward smirk on his face and uncomfortably pats Gina on the shoulder.

  “I brought you a pie. On the house,” she announces cheerfully.

  “No. Not a chance. I’m paying you for that and for the cupcakes!” I protest, taking out money and shoving it into her purse.

  She ignores me and continues, “Lemon meringue. No cinnamon. You’ll love it.”

  “How’d you know I’m allergic to cinnamon?”

  She looks over at me as if it were obvious.

  “How did you know?” he asks me when he realizes I told her about his allergy.

  Doesn’t he know by now that I know everything about him? I used to study Alex Archer like it was my job. “I remembered,” I simply say.

  His face softens and Gina throws herself on him again and smothers him in hugs befor
e leaving to go back to the bakeshop.

  “I’m glad you have her in your life,” Alex says as Gina drives away.

  “Me too. When things were as bad as they could get, I met her and she showed me how to live on next to nothing. She saved my life.”

  He pulls me to him by the belt hook of my jeans and kisses me. “I have to go to Seattle for my mother’s birthday in a few weeks. Come with me.”

  I’m sure there’s a look of horror on my face. “To your mom’s?”

  “Yes.”

  I shake my head side to side. “I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I’ll talk to her first. She’ll forgive you, I’m sure, once I’ve explained everything.”

  “Forgive me?” Now I’m surprised. He thinks I don’t want to see his mother because I’m afraid of what she thinks of me? “Alex, I can’t see your mom.”

  He runs his fingers through his hair. “Helen.”

  “No. You said we wouldn’t talk about this. We’d let the past stay in the past.”

  “Then come with me and it won’t be discussed. We don’t have to talk about it.”

  He makes it seem as if there aren’t going to be any problems with this at all.

  “I don’t know…”

  “Think about it, okay?”

  I wrap my arms around him. “Okay.”

  * * *

  —

  Alex is supposed to go back to Seattle in a few days, and we’re in this weird place where we’re both ignoring the elephant in the room. We can’t have a relationship when a huge part of our lives is off the table for discussion.

  He’s sitting at the dining room table working on his laptop, while I sit next to him with the other laptop. “How’s the office coming along? I need a place where I can work.” He’s agitated tonight, I can tell.