by Traci Sek
Jake
“Babe,”
“Hmmm?” I groaned not wanting to open my eyes yet. It couldn’t be time yet.
“Babe, your phone, it’s ringing.”
My phone… Wait what? An annoying sound started to form in my ears as they slowly woke from the slumber I was in. I opened one eye, peaking out to see Emily’s face so close to mine I could feel her breath fanning my skin. Our arms entwined with each other snuggled up close. My hand rested on her stomach which had become a permanent fixture. I didn’t want to move, ever. I loved being wrapped up in her arms, keeping me warm from the inside out.
“Just answer it, it could be important.”
“No this is important being here with you in my arms. Besides, it's the middle of the night. No more work. I’m tired.
She leaned up a bit in the darkness to look over my shoulder. “It’s your brother, what if somethings wrong with the kids?” I quickly turned over to reach for my phone but just as I was about to answer, it went silent.
“He will call back.” I placed the phone back on the table and cozied up to Emily. I nuzzled my nose in her neck as she laughed before slapping me on the chest. My phone started to ring again as I audibly sighed. Reluctantly I turned back over and grabbed my phone this time hoping and praying nothing really was wrong, I didn’t think I could handle it. My brother’s name flashed against my screen as I swiped right to answer.
“Hello?”
“Jakkkkkkkkkkeeeeee!” My brother says in a slurred tone. “What’s up dude?”
“I’m sleeping what the hell do you want?” I glanced at my phone that showed it’s midnight. “Dude It’s midnight, don’t you ever sleep?”
“I would but I don't have a bed to sleep in. She kicked me out.”
“What do you mean she kicked you out?”
He paused for a moment before he slurred some more. “Can you meet me at Shenanigans? I just need to talk to someone.”
I glanced at Emily who had a look of confusion on her face.
“Hold on.” I said to him and covered the phone. “My brother had a fight with his wife and she kicked him out. I need to go talk to him. He doesn’t sound good.”
“Yeah go if you need to, it’s your brother. He needs you.” I groaned and rubbed my face with my other hand. Placing the phone back up to my ear, I spoke “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Thanks bro.” He said before hanging up. I rolled back over and kissed Emily on her plump lips, “I’ll be back as soon as I can, don’t wait up.”
She smiled at me before pushing me away. “Go before, I want to jump you again.” I raised my eyebrows a few times promising her a great morning to come. I hurried and got dressed and then jumped into my SUV. I made it to the bar in less than thirty minutes. Glancing around the overcrowded pub, I spot Josh at the front of the bar. Walking up to him, I tapped him on the shoulder as he spun around to face me. I immediately could tell he had a few drinks already by the way, his eyes that were struggling to stay open. I had never seen this version of my brother. He was always smiling and laughing, never once giving off the vibe that anything could be wrong in his, what I had thought, perfect marriage.
“Hey, what's going on?”
“You want a drink?”
I waved my hand at him and shook my head. “No I promised Emily I wouldn’t drink anymore. So far I’m a few weeks sober.”
“That’s great man, you and Emily seem to be doing great.”
“Yeah we are.” I said with a satisfied smile. “But I didn’t come here at midnight to talk about my girl. What happened?”
“I lost my temper again.” Again? He had a temper? Wait a minute.
“You lost your temper, again? I didn’t even know you had a temper. You play it so cool all the time and I’m your freaking brother!”
He semi chuckled before taking another sip of his amber liquid. I tried my hardest not to cave into it. I felt my fingers itching for just one drink. Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea to come to a bar. Stay strong.
“Yeah there's a lot about me you don’t know. It’s alright though, you’ve had your own issues. Dad’s always occupied with work, and Ashley, well you know.”
We sat in silence as screams and shouts could be heard from a distance. People started to dance to a new upbeat song that blasted through the speakers.
“I had a hard day at work today and I got home and the house was a disaster. She had a rough day with the kids and started with me about how I'm never home to help her and how she's so sick of the way things are getting between us… I just lost it. I took all my pent up frustration from work and started screaming at her. I told her she wasn’t a good mom and that I have needs too.” He shook his head as if he were reliving it all over again.
“Man everyone gets frustrated.”
“No man, I shouldn’t have said that. I know she's a good mom, she's amazing. I was just so sick of all the nagging and the kids were crying and screaming. You should have seen the look on her face. I fucked up.”
“Then why are you here? You should be groveling at her feet right now begging for forgiveness.”
“She locked me out. She ripped the keys out of my hand and somehow got my house key off the ring, threw me my car keys and told me to get the fuck out that she didn’t need me anymore.”
My eyes go wide. Damn who knew that woman could be so crazy. “Wait a minute it's your house too, she can't do that. Just give her time to cool off and go back with flowers. Then when you do, make sure you give her what she needs. Really focus on what it is that's hurting her and frustrating her. Take some time off from work and work on your marriage.”
“You're right, I need this. She’s right I have been avoiding the house a little often. Anthony is teething, and Liam, he’s become a terrorist. He doesn’t want to eat anything or take a bath or sleep. Then he keeps Anthony awake and then Amy is a monster with all her emotions. Sometimes a guy just needs some space.”
The thought of being a dad popped into my mind again. I took a gulp as I pictured Emily and our child going crazy. It’s a bit scary. I mean how would I get anything done at work? What if she turned all crazy on me and kicked me out of my own house?
“Damn that’s rough.” I started to eye his drink that's half full as I pulled at my collar. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?
“If you think that’s bad just wait. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into.” He slurred before looking at me.
“Enjoy your life now, because when that baby comes, your life goes down the tubes. It’s harder than you think Jake.”
My leg started to bounce up and down as I chewed on the nubs of my fingers. My eyes darted to the liquid once again as my heart rate increased. My insides begging me for just one drop Just one Jake, it's not going to hurt. What if Emily finds out? She will be ok and she will understand. I was helping my brother and the stress of becoming a new dad and all. Just one Jake.
Before I let my brain make a final decision I grabbed my brother's glass and chugged the rest of the contents. The liquid burned going down but it was a nice burn, a satisfying burn that replaced the cold Emily usually filled. My brother patted me on the back and held up two fingers to the bartender. Instantly I felt regret but relaxed. My taste buds were thanking me and so were my nerves. My heart slowed to a normal rhythm as a drink was placed in front of me. I’ve been good. I deserve this. Those were my last thoughts before another three drinks appeared in front of me.
Chapter Forty
Jake
I’m not sure how many drinks I ended up having. Normally I would control myself except for when I was about to have a panic attack or angry, but this time it was just for fun. To finally relax and just enjoy an outing that didn't involve business transactions and stuck up people.
Eight a.m. was when I finally staggered into the house. Nobody seemed to be around and so I tiptoed up the stairs pretty gracefully for being full of alcohol. I slowly opened my be
droom door where I had left Emily but the bed was empty. The water from the shower was running but when I made it to my bed, throwing my shoes off before slowly falling backwards, the water stopped. Just as my tired eyes were about to close, the bathroom door swung open making me sit up again.
“Oh you're finally back. I didn’t think it would take that long.” She paused to stare at me and I felt the alcohol wearing off as my heart rate increased. I looked down at my feet fiddling with my fingers before brushing them through my hair. She was glowing as always with a pair of cute overalls and a white long sleeved shirt underneath. Her long brown hair hangs freely in small wet waves.
“Jake what’s wrong?” She started to walk towards me as I stood up trying my hardest not to sway. I didn’t look at her until I felt her finger lift my chin up. Her eyebrows knitted together with a scowl on her face. I gulped down what was left of my saliva, feeling a lump form in my throat. She started to shake her head as a realization washed over her.
“No.”
“Baby, I’m sorry. I-” she held up one finger halting my somewhat thought out speech.
“You promised me!” She screeched making my temples throb. “This is what you call helping your brother?!”
“I know I promised you. I was weak, I tried to fight it. I should have just made him leave but-”
“But nothing! How dare you?”
“How dare I what?”
“How dare you come here all drunk! How did you think I would react? Did you think I would just forgive you, put a bandaid on it? I can see one sip or even one drink, but no you didn’t stop! You knew what you were doing!” The tears were streaming down her face breaking my heart all over again.
“I said I was sorry! I’m not perfect! I never will be! If you can’t handle that, then I don’t know what to tell you!”
Her eyes grew wide along with mine. “Wait that came out wrong!”
“I hate you! I will not be with someone who keeps breaking their promises. You clearly made your choice last night!”
“No I didn’t! My brother said something and it just jolted the last bit of strength that I had left to not want a drink.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses! What’s next Jake? Another girl? Your therapist?” She went to walk away but I grabbed her arm stopping her, what I didn’t expect was for her to swing at me, slapping me hard on my face. I instantly let go cupping my cheek.
I looked up at her shocked but what I saw made my body go numb. She was seething like I’ve never seen before and it was almost scary. “Don’t you dare touch me! You are just like him!”
“I-” I was speechless. I realized who she was talking about, her father. I started to shake my head.
“No! I’ll never be like him. I’d never hurt you like that ever! I didn’t mean to grab you like that, I’m sorry! Please!”
“See that’s where you’re wrong. You are him right now. Breaking promises, coming home drunk, and then laying your hands on me! But I’m not that little helpless girl anymore. I won’t make excuses for you and pretend like it’s not happening like my mother did, and I certainly won’t subject our child to that ever! If you don’t want to be a part of your child's life then fine! I can raise this baby on my own.” She growled the last part making me pause for just a moment.
“I do! I want this baby! I want you! Please don’t go, you’re my everything.” The heat in my core was overwhelming with a mixture of bile raising in the back of my throat. I couldn’t lose her. I started to move closer to her but all she does is back away. She bent over picking up my shoe from earlier and chucked it with full force at me. I barely manage to dodge it, holding my hands out to the side. She wasted no time throwing the other one that whizzed by my head.
“What the hell Emily!” I screamed but it was on deaf ears. I watched as her fists clenched and unclenched before speaking again.
“I need to leave Jake. I can’t be around you right now.”
My hands fell to my sides as I felt my knees start to buckle. She’s leaving. She’s not coming back . I’ve lost the only thing that was good in my life because of stupid alcohol. Without another word she's gone. The door closed behind her with a loud bang as I stood in utter silence. That’s when the hot liquid started to sting my eyes. Clenching my hands, I look for the closest item, a lamp. Ripping it from the table I forcefully threw it against the wall as all the contents smashed into a million pieces just like my heart.
Emily
The tears immediately hit me like a speeding bullet. My heart was aching worse than it had ever ached in my entire life. It matched the feeling of watching my mother die. I wrapped my arms around myself running down the stairs as fast as I possibly could. As I reached the bottom, I heard a loud crash like a million shards of glass breaking into a gazillion pieces. My foot steps halt as I glanced back up the stairs.
No Emily, keep going! Aida rushed past me and up the stairs as I quickly ran out the front door. I stopped and looked around for a minute not knowing where to go or how to get there. I started to walk away slowly from the large house, my heart breaking more and more with every hesitant step I took. How could he do this to us? How could he break that promise? That's all it took was a few words from his brother to set him off? He said he would be ok that he would take care of everything.
I guess that was too much to ask from him. I pulled out my phone and dialed the only other person I knew who could help me. Ashley. To my dismay her husband answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Um, hi this is Emily Jake's girlfriend, is Ashley there?”
“Hey Emily. She’s sleeping at the moment, she had a long night with the baby. Is everything ok?” No. “Yeah everything is fine. Just thought I would catch up. How's Elliot?”
“Good. Thanks for asking.”
“You're welcome. Well I won’t keep you, have a nice day.”
“You too Emily.” He hung up the phone as my heart sank. I can’t go back. What he did was unforgivable. I admit slapping him and throwing his shoes at him was a little overboard but when he grabbed me that way I instantly saw my father. It scared the hell out of me and I took that hurt from everything and gave it back to him.
I started down the long driveway making my way down to the large black gate.
“Hey Emily. How are you today?”
“I’m afraid I'm not so good. Can you call me a cab? I need to leave.”
His smile dropped into a worried frown. “Mr. Williams specifically requested you take the car ma’am.”
“Well Mr. Williams can screw himself! Now call me a cab and open the gate before I climb in there and do it myself!” He raised his hands in surrender.
“Alright, miss give me a few minutes.” He turned quickly, picking up the receiver. I walked over to the gate and sat myself slowly on the ground which was proving to be more and more difficult by the day.
“Thank you.” I sighed and leaned my head against the gate closing my eyes. The sun was shining bright but it still did nothing for my mood. Thinking the cab had shone up, I opened my eyes and prepared myself to get up but instead a black car sits in front of me as Jake jumps out.
“Thank God! Emily.” He ran over to me kneeling down so that he was eye level with me. “Please don’t go.”
Chapter Forty-One
Emily
His hair was disheveled and his face was tear stained. Eyes bloodshot, wide in a panic.
“You called him didn’t you?” I pointed a finger at the security guard.
“No he didn’t.” Jake answered before the security guard did.
“Then how did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t, I realized after you walked out of the door that I couldn’t lose you or my baby. So I jumped in the car as fast as I could to come after you and here you were.”
“Well you can just get right back in that car and go back to your house Jake! I told you I didn’t want to be around you!”
“I know what you said but I’m not going to list
en. You don’t mean that.” He sighed as my heart pulsated in my ears. “I know what I did was inexcusable and I know I broke a promise to you, but I didn't do it intentionally to hurt you. I would never purposely hurt you. You must believe me on that.”
“Jake don’t do this, I can’t handle another one of your book speeches.” I go to get up but am unsuccessful.
“Let me help you up.” He extended his hands out for me to grab which I did reluctantly but only because my back had started to hurt and my butt had started to go numb. He pulled me up with ease but I quickly let go and looked away.
“Emily. I messed up.”
“Again.”
“I messed up again, yes but I have learned my lesson I swear. I was weak. I thought I was strong enough to fight that urge but I was so wrong. I need more help than just keeping it out of the house.”
I looked up at him and met his pained eyes.
“I knew I needed to stop and that I needed help but I wouldn’t admit it. I couldn’t admit it because then I would look weak in your eyes. I am supposed to be the strong one for the both of us. At least that's what I thought until last night.”
“I never asked you to be the strong one Jake! We were supposed to be open with each other no matter what it was and we were supposed to tell each other everything! We are a team!”
“And I did. I have! I thought by getting rid of the temptation where I didn’t think about it, it would go away. I didn’t even realize what it would be like to watch other people drink. To be in a setting that would trigger that.”
My head was throbbing from the hot rays burning down on me and from this emotional rollercoaster. It was amazing that not even in a twenty four hour period everything had gone from amazing to shit.
“I’m going to go into rehab.” My head whipped back up in his direction.
“What?”
“Emily, I can’t lose you again. When you said I was just like your father, that was like putting a knife through my chest and turning it. That was my wake up call. I need to be the man you need me to be one hundred percent so that I can be the best father I can be for our baby.”
“But that could take months. You wouldn’t be here for the baby when she's born.”
