Just Love Me

by Traci Sek

  Our bodies collided and molded into each other like a puzzle piece. Thankfully I was a bit taller than her so I could encase her small shoulders easily. Inhaling her scent as if it were my favorite smell in the entire world, I pulled her back to really look at her. Tears streamed down her face but she was laughing. I kissed those plump pink lips of hers just as I did all those nights in my dreams. Letting her know I was really here and that I would never leave her again as long as I lived.

  “God I missed you so much. Look at you, you're stunning.”

  “I missed you too. You look really good Jake.” Her sweet tone was music to my ears. I was only able to contact her once throughout this whole experience and it nearly killed me. I placed my hand on her stomach and leaned down a bit.

  “I hope you were good for your mom and thanks for waiting for me baby girl.” I felt Emily snake her fingers through my hair as I talked which sent a wave of electricity through my body but at the same time calmed me like it always had. I stood back up as I noticed my father and brother in the distance. I linked my hand in Emilys and walked over to them.

  “Welcome back bro.” Josh patted me on the shoulder and smiled.

  “Jake.” My dad said, smiling.

  “I’m so glad to be out!” I took a deep breath releasing it slowly through my mouth. Even though we had plenty of access to outside gardens, it was never the same as breathing in fresh air from beyond the four walls.

  We walked towards the waiting limo, of course my dad would bring the limo. Leave it to him to ride in style. Emily wrapped her whole arm in mine and leaned her head on my shoulder. I leaned my head on hers, “Let’s go home.” I whispered.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Emily

  "I love you so much honey. You know that right?" I look up at my mom's beautiful face. Despite the fact that she has a bruise on her jaw, she glows with the dim light on my night stand. She's sitting on my bed with her arms wrapped tight around me. Even though I know this won't last, I cherish every detail and every moment. I nod at her as she kisses me on the forehead.

  "I love you too mom." I smile feeling the warmth radiating off of her. It swells my heart.

  "You know no matter what happens, I will never be too far away from you. I will always watch over you." I press my ear to her chest and listen to her ever-rapid heartbeat. A door slams in the distance making both of us jump. I hear her heart rate increase, beating wildly in my ears. I close my eyes and say a tiny prayer. My bedroom door swings open revealing the red eyed monster. His eyes are bloodshot and wide and his hair is a wild mess.

  "What the fuck are you doing? Wasting time with this little brat!" He stomps over in his large black boots and grips my mom's arm. Pulling her forcefully from the bed, she stumbles to get on her feet.

  "You are supposed to be entertaining me!" He spat in her face. My mom gave me one last look before sauntering out the door disappearing in the darkness. He turns to me and snickers then he switches the light out and slams my door.

  I bolted upright from the bed and gasped for air. Another nightmare. They had been reoccurring for a week now. I felt a sharp pain shoot through my abdomen making me gasp and grab my stomach. Turning my head to a sleeping Jake, my body relaxed from its rigid stance. I was so happy he was back with me. I pushed myself up, positioning my head against the wall as I noticed my frantic heart rate beating in my chest. My arms and chest were glistened from sweat making me cringe. Another wave of pain hit me right above my belly button and I groaned out in pain. Something isn’t right. Currently, I was in my eighth month of pregnancy and I was miserable to say the least.

  My feet were swollen, my back constantly throbbed, and I peed every five seconds. Not to mention every time I closed my eyes, I had the same dream. ' No matter how far I am, I will always protect you.' My mother's words rang in my ears. I started to shake Jake as he slowly came to.

  "What's the matter?" He mumbled looking at the clock that said three am. Before I could respond more pain shot through my abdomen and I felt hot liquid down below as if I just peed myself.

  "Oh God!" I slightly shouted, making Jake bolt upright. "Jake something's not right. He turned on the light and pulled the covers off.

  "I'm calling the doctor." He grabbed his phone and shouted for Aida. I could see the panic on his face but I matched it. I was unsure of what was going on. It was too early to have this baby. I was scared beyond words. He ran to the door and shouted for Aida again. She finally emerged looking half asleep.

  "Jake what is the meaning of this?" He was talking on the phone and pointed to me. Aida's eyes grew wide and he covered the phone. "She's in pain, somethings wrong. We need to get her to a hospital ASAP. Get the driver to get the car ready." She nodded and ran out the door.

  "Jake..." I said breathless. He ran over to me and started to rub circles on my back but it wasn’t helping. Another pain came through as I grabbed his shirt tight and balled it into a fist. "Gah!"

  "It's ok baby, breathe. In and out." He hung up the phone as I tried to do as I'm told, but I felt panic rising in my chest and began to sob. He pulled me up gently and pulled my head into his chest. I tried to focus on his heartbeat the same way I did with my mom. It momentarily calmed me, clearing the haze that was in my head.

  "Jake, I think my water broke." I mumbled into his chest. He stiffened and pulled away to look at me.

  "I need new clothes. In the closet." He nodded and ran to the closet as Aida ran in again. I felt dizzy at the chaos unfolding before me.

  "The car will be ready in five minutes."

  "Aida!" I cried out unsure of how to react or what to do. My thoughts were jumbled again and I was in full blown panic mode. She seemed to recognize this and came over to me just as Jake brings some clothes. "Go get your pants on Jake, I'll help Emily." He nodded and ran to his closet stumbling, almost falling flat on his face. If I wasn't in so much pain, I would have laughed at that.

  Aida helped me get dressed as more pain took my breath away. She guided me slowly to the door and Jake soon joined. He looped his arm inside mine, Aida had the other. We slowly and agonizingly made it down the stairs and to the front door, then slowly into the car. My whole body was numb and on fire at the same time. How is this even possible?

  My breaths were now labored and I was sweating even more than I had been when this began. I was clinging on to Jake for dear life, probably cutting off his circulation, but he didn't say anything. He just continued to rub my head, kissing it every so often. Pain after pain rippled through my body and I could not control my sobs.

  "Jake... something's...not...right. I can feel it! Oh God, make it stop!" I yelled. He whispered sweet things in my ears and kept rubbing my back, but I was in too much pain to understand what he was actually saying. It was like my ears had gone deaf only zeroing in on the pain and my heartbeat. Finally pulling up to the emergency part of the hospital, I was greeted with a wheelchair. They wheeled me off with Jake never letting go of my hand and wheeled me into a room.

  "Let's get you undressed so we can start hooking you up, take a look at what's going on." I nodded, fighting to breathe as my eyes started to flutter closed.

  I'll always protect you. I'll always protect you.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Jake

  It took me a minute to realize what was going on but once I did, I went into full panic mode. I had to keep telling myself it was ok and to not show it in front of Emily. She was panicked enough. It was a good thing I could handle a bit of stress from all the years at my job.

  I watched as three nurses ran around this small hospital room getting her ready. She was going to have a baby and I was going to be a dad. Our doctor rushed in and slapped on some gloves. Her face alone calmed my nerves because I knew our baby would be in good hands. A monitor was wrapped around Emily's stomach as she cried out in pain. I felt helpless getting her here. I had no clue how to keep her calm and every inch of me wanted to take that pain away and put it on me.

  "We need to g
et the baby out now! The heartbeat is decreasing!" The doctor told the nurses as they ran out of the room.

  "Wait. What?" I spoke trying to contain my panic.

  "We need to do an emergency c section to get the baby out. I'm not sure what's going on, but I suspect the baby's head is wrapped around the umbilical cord slowly losing air. We need to get her out before she loses the baby."

  I was at a loss for words, my brain not processing anything she was telling me. We've been through too much for this to happen. I looked at Emily who was rolling her head back and forth. I ran to her side and grabbed her hand. "Emily. I love you. It's going to be okay. I promise." I kissed her on the forehead as the nurses ran back in. They gave me a pair of blue scrubs, a hat, telling me to put them on and wash my hands. I did as I was told as they wheeled her bed away. I then ran in the direction of where they were taking her through big ugly blue doors. Emily is being transferred from her bed to a table and a curtain is placed around her.

  They placed an oxygen mask over her face and pointed me to sit down next to her on a swivel chair. I swiped the pad of my thumb across her forehead before coming down to her cheek looking into her beautiful eyes. They had fear and panic seeping through them with tears streaming down her face as I heard the doctor tell the other nurses she was about to start.

  "You are strong Emily. Everything is going to be ok, I won't leave you. I'm right here." I squeezed her free hand for comfort. She seemed to be in another world now most likely from the medication they gave her. Silence ensued in the room as we waited with baited breath. All I heard was the beeping sound from the monitor.

  "Emily. How are you doing?" The doctor asks.

  "I don't know." She softly responded.

  "You're going to feel a small tug and pressure in a minute, but your baby is almost out. You are doing great, just hang in there." Emily turned her head back to me and I smiled at her.

  "You’re still here" she says gently. I gave her a confused look before it actually dawned on me.

  "I told you I wouldn't leave your side. I think it's actually helped me get over that silly fear I've been hanging onto." Beep. Beep. Beep. She smiled gently at me and looked back towards the light.

  "Ok baby is out!" The doctor yelled but I heard no cry. I held my breath as a chill came over me. Please mom if you can hear me, please save my baby. I prayed in my head. Within a minute the baby started to cry making me blow out my breath and laugh.

  "Emily you did it!" I kissed her again now on the lips and placed my forehead against hers. A mixture of tears and laughter bubbled up from her.

  "Congratulations dad." The doctor beamed at me holding the baby in the air. They whisk her away just as fast as I could blink. The nurse ushered me out so that they could finish putting Emily back together.

  I removed my scrubs and called my dad. He had been super supportive ever since therapy had started and I was getting used to the change. I missed the old dad that I grew up with.

  "Dad, Emily had the baby. We are at the hospital now."

  "She what!" I heard rustling on the other side of the phone making me chuckle. Though quite frankly at this point anything could have made me laugh. The overwhelming feeling of giddiness consumed my every core.

  "Yeah. I think she's going to be okay. I'll explain everything when you get here. Tell the others."

  "Okay son. I'm on my way." I hung up and paced the floors. I took a minute to ponder on the last time I had been here pacing the floors trying to get whatever information I could only to come up empty handed. It was amazing how much had changed in those past months. Never did I see myself standing there unafraid. I had passed those double doors and the reality was that it wasn’t so bad on the other side. The doctor finally came out with a large smile on her face.

  "She's doing great and the baby is doing great. Emily lost a little bit of blood but we managed to get everything under control. We are monitoring the baby closely just to make sure everything is kosher. We should have her out in about a half hour." She pats my back.

  "Thank you, doctor."

  "You are very welcome."

  A little while later, my dad came running down the hallway with Josh. He gave me a big hug as Josh slapped my back like always. I think there was only one time in my life that we’ve ever hugged.

  "Welcome to the dad world!" Josh said and laughed.

  "Thanks. I haven't held her yet. They are still doing tests and getting Emily settled."

  I proceeded to tell them everything that went down just a few hours before. Ashley and her husband eventually joined us. One of the nurses came out and yelled my name.

  "Follow me." She ushered me into another small room where Emily was laying down with the baby wrapped underneath her arm. She was staring down at her with amazement. I walked towards her as she looked up at me with complete love in her eyes. I gave her a kiss and stared down at my beautiful baby girl. "You did fantastic Emily."

  "You did good too Jake, they were right." She paused and looked down at the baby.

  "About what?"

  "About loving this precious thing so much.”

  "What are we going to name her?" I asked as we glanced at each other.

  "Well I was thinking. I want to honor both of our mothers so how about Elizabeth Mary Williams?" She asked. I stood there stunned for a minute as I felt a tear slide down my cheek before smiling.

  "I love it. Thank you." I whispered, putting my forehead against hers. I had never felt this happy in my entire life and I didn't intend for it to ever fade.

  Epilogue I

  Six months later

  Emily

  To say these past six months had been a whirlwind was an understatement. Becoming a mom was more than people could have ever tried to explain to me. The exhaustion, the late nights, early mornings, non-stop crying and healing, was enough to make anyone go bat shit crazy. But then there was the silence, the way Elizabeth slept in her crib was so peaceful. The laughter that made my heart soar to heights unimaginable. Watching Jake play with her and hold her and bounce her up in the air. It was more than words could describe.

  I stood looking in the floor length mirror at the beautiful gowned Ashley and I had designed. After I had healed properly and was finally getting used to being a mom, Jake had set up our room one night. Rose petals everywhere, doubled with all different kinds of colored roses scattered about the room. Near the window sat a table and two chairs with a champagne bottle over ice. It was straight out of the movies. We had dinner and then he got down on one knee and proposed.

  I was finally getting married. He didn't want to wait any longer so we decided on a small intimate family wedding outside in the beautiful garden his mom had planted so many years ago.

  "You look absolutely beautiful!" Ashley beamed at me over my shoulder. I grinned from ear to ear.

  "Thank you. We did a bang-up job on this dress!" She laughed.

  She was my maid of honor, her daughter was the flower girl, and Josh's middle son was the ring bearer. I didn't want bridesmaids as it would be too much and I really didn't have any friends.

  "It's time to go!" Aida yelled.

  My heart started to race doing somersaults in my chest. Ashley handed me my bouquet as we slowly made our way outside. Jake's dad had offered to walk me down the aisle, but I kindly declined. I wanted to be simple and untraditional. Ashley fixed my vail, and then sent her daughter out followed by Josh's son. Smoothing out her dress that she also designed, followed suit. Finally, it was my turn. I focused only on Jake who was holding our daughter. It was a picture that no great camera could ever capture and I made sure to take in every detail, committing it to my memory. Josh stood behind him as his best man, all eyes turned to me.

  Walking slowly down the aisle, memories flashed across my mind at how far we had come. How far I had come as a person. The first time we met, the first time I felt butterflies for this man. The first time we kissed. I smiled from ear to ear. Finally reaching the podium where the priest stood, Jake hand
ed Elizabeth to Amy and the ceremony began. We exchanged our vows, short, sweet, and simple. Staying true to ourselves. We slipped the rings on our fingers and ever so gently he raised my vail as the priest announced us husband and wife.

  "You may now kiss the bride." In one fell swoop, he grabbed my waist and twisted me around leaning into me and kissed me. I nearly melted.

  If it weren't for Jake encouraging me and being by my side, I wouldn't have become the strong confident woman I was today. I’m sure he would tell you the same thing for him even though it wasn’t true. No words could describe the happiness I felt at that moment. Happiness I thought I didn't deserve. I couldn't wait to see what adventures lie ahead as a wife to this amazing man and as a mom to this beautiful baby girl.

  Our small reception was held in the garden as well right next to the ceremony spot. A makeshift dance floor had been built and was almost engulfed by a gigantic stereo system controlled by a d.j. People congratulated us and wished us luck. We danced with Elizabeth as a family and then we had our first dance as a married couple.

  Up until then we had not picked a song or at least that's what I had thought until Wanted started to play which had been the song we danced to at the Christmas party all those months ago. He grabbed my waist and pulled me close. Resting his head against my forehead, we look deep into each other's eyes swaying back and forth to the music. Jake pretends to sing some of the words, making me smile.

  “I want to wrap you up...”

  “Want to make you smile, I wanna make you feel wanted...’

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and watched in awe. Pulling me away, he twirled me around making me giggle. It was as if no one else was around us. Just us two. He pulled me back in as the song ended.

  "I love you Mrs. Williams." Goosebumps crawled up my arms at the words.