Beautiful Dangerous

by Michelle Betham

  Our eyes lock, and I smile again. But he can’t possibly know whether Callum deserved me or not, he doesn’t know me. And that’s when it hits me all over again. This man is a stranger. I know nothing about him, and yet, I came here, to his home, on my own. And that’s just fucking crazy!

  “Olivia? Are you okay?”

  “Yes, sorry. I’m fine.”

  He lifts one of the steaks onto his plate and pushes the remaining one toward me. “Please. Eat.”

  I lift the steak onto my own plate, leaving a pile of bloody resting juices behind on the white china, and cut into it. It’s perfectly cooked, nice and charred on the outside, rosy pink in the middle, but I still don’t have much of an appetite, which is a shame, because it smells incredible!

  “How long do you have left here, in Mexico?”

  I’m grateful for the change of subject. I think I’ve already shared a little too much personal information with this man, and the anxiety I felt before, it’s returning.

  “Three days. I’m driving back to San Diego on Friday.”

  “That’s too bad. I would’ve liked to have shown you around the city. Only a native can show you the real Mexico, don’t you think?”

  He smiles at me again, and I take another deep breath before dropping my gaze to my, as yet untouched, plate of food. So I skewer a piece of steak and make a start.

  “Maybe. I’ve walked around a little, I suppose, but I’ve mostly just been catching up on some reading by the pool.”

  I look up, and his eyes are on me, holding my gaze. “Then you should come back. Next time, allow me to be your guide.” He slices off another piece of steak, and I start to do the same, even though my appetite is still far from putting in an appearance. “Tell me, Olivia. Do you believe in love?”

  I frown, and that knot of nerves in my belly tightens further. “That’s a strange question to ask someone you’ve only just met. Someone who’s just been dumped, by text.”

  His face breaks into a slow smile, and he lays his knife and fork down on the edge of his plate. “You’re not afraid to speak your mind. I like that.”

  He’s right, I’m not afraid to speak my mind. And I think, in this situation, I need to show him that I’m confident, not worried, even if, now, I’m both of those things.

  “I believe in speaking out, when I need to.”

  He leaves another, slightly shorter pause. “I knew there was something about you the moment I saw you.”

  He’s charming, that’s for sure, but he’s still a stranger. And I still shouldn’t have come here. It’s time to cut this evening short and get back to the safety of the hotel. The hotel that, as I continue to remind myself, this man owns.

  “I should go, I’m sorry…” I lay my napkin down next to my barely-touched plate of food and push my chair back.

  “If that’s what you want.”

  He’s not putting up a fight, and I don’t know whether I’m relieved about that, or slightly disappointed.

  “I’ll get Lucca to drive you back to the hotel.”

  Another stranger. I’ve really done a bang-up job of putting myself in unnecessary danger tonight.

  He gets up and comes over to me, his hand resting lightly on the small of my back as we head inside, and out into the atrium.

  “Thank you for coming. Even if you don’t think you should have. I’ve enjoyed your company, very much.”

  I look at him, and his eyes – they really are kind eyes. I’m not getting any indication that I should be scared of this man, but at the same time, I really shouldn’t have come here alone. It was a stupid, dangerous risk, and I don’t usually take those. I’m not really going to feel completely safe until I’m back in my hotel room.

  “I’m sorry, again, for running out on you like this, I just…”

  “There’s no need to explain. I understand.”

  He looks over at Lucca as he appears from a room just off the atrium. Is this tall, intimidating man Javier’s bodyguard? His protector? From what, exactly? But that thought is only going to serve to feed my nerves, so I push it away.

  “Lucca, I need you to drive Olivia back to the hotel.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes. Now.” He places a hand on my upper arm and leans in to plant two, feather-light kisses on either cheek. “Buenas noches, Olivia. I really hope I get to see you again, before you return home.”

  I’m not sure I want that. But something tells me that, if it’s what he wants, it’s more than likely going to happen…

  ~~~

  “I’m so pleased you could make it, Senator.”

  Senator Richard Haines takes my hand and lifts it to his lips, dropping a brief kiss on it before I discreetly pull it away, trying hard to ignore the inner shudder that kiss caused.

  “How could I turn down an invitation to Olivia Delgado’s fortieth birthday party? And, may I say, you don’t look anywhere close to forty. Life must be treating you well.”

  I smile, but I have every intention of cutting this conversation short. I don’t much like this man, but I need him on side. I’m a businesswoman, first and foremost, and important contacts – friends in high places – they’re necessary, even if they aren’t people I particularly like being around for long periods of time. And whilst some out there – including Senator Haines – might think they know who I am, not everyone here tonight knows the truth. Few do. Some suspect, of course, but without anything concrete to prove their suspicions they have no evidence to pin anything on me, or the cartel. But I know they’re watching. Waiting. That’s why I had to learn quickly how to make shit look legitimate; how to gain leverage against anyone who could, one day, come after me; use me to further their own gains, and one of those people could quite possibly be Senator Haines. But while he thinks he knows who I am, he has no idea just how much I know about him. Secrets that, if shared, could bring him down in a heartbeat. Leverage is important in my world. And I have a lot of it, mostly connected to people in this room.

  “I hear building work on the new hotel begins shortly,” Senator Haines continues. “You must be very excited.”

  “Every new venture is exciting.”

  “I’m sure Javier would be very proud of you, seeing what you’ve achieved since his death. He was a very astute businessman. you must have learnt a lot from him.”

  My smile is fixed, and trying to keep it there is verging on painful, but I won’t let him see how irritated I am by that remark; won’t let him see that I know he’s saying these things deliberately, to get a reaction. After all, I’m just a woman who stepped into her dead husband’s shoes, I didn’t earn this. In their eyes – these powerful, wealthy, self-obsessed men – that’s all I’ll ever be, they don’t think I run anything. They’ll assume I have people who do all the work while I’m nothing more than a figurehead, but they’re wrong. Very wrong.

  “Have a lovely evening, Senator. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should go and mingle.”

  “Of course. Maybe we could have dinner some time? I’m sure there are things we could discuss that could be beneficial to both of us?”

  “Maybe. And dinner would be lovely.”

  It wouldn’t, and I have no intention of having dinner with him. I know exactly what Senator Haines really wants from me, and that will never be an option. Any business I need to conduct with him has always been – and always will be – done in either his office, or mine, and never alone.

  Making my way out onto the terrace, I join Lucca poolside. He seems quiet tonight, although he never has been a man of many words. Clichéd though it might sound, he really is the epitome of the strong, silent type.

  “We’re meeting with the bikers tomorrow.” He stares out ahead of him as he speaks, he doesn’t look at me. “We’ll drive down to San Diego in the morning.”

  “Good. It’s time we put our proposal to them.”

  “It’s a smart business move, for all of us. I can’t see Eddie turning it down.”

/>   “I hope not. I value him and his club, we need them on board.”

  We work very closely with the Devil’s Creed MC, a biker gang with chapters in Texas, California, Nevada, and just across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. It was the Mexican chapter that Lucca was once a member of, which is why he’s an important connection to them; the kind of link we need, he knows these men much better than I do. But I’ve had to learn fast, and I can handle them. Gaining their respect was important, and I’ve done that.

  “Eddie’s a clever man, Liv, with a lot of contacts. If we combine the two – ours, and theirs – we’ll control so much more than we already do. And when the time comes to take out the Pino cartel…”

  He drops his head and runs a hand along the back of his neck.

  “We’ll have the power. To do anything we want,” I whisper, and Lucca lifts his head and looks at me.

  “Yes. We will.”

  I smile, and Lucca takes my hand and squeezes it quickly before letting go. And I’m taken aback by an unexpected stab of disappointment as his hand falls from mine, something which sideswipes me for a second.

  “Things are coming together, Olivia. It’s all coming together.” He looks out ahead of him again, his hands now in his pockets. “But, getting into gun running…” He turns his head to face me, his expression one of concern. “Are you really sure you want us to go down that route?”

  “Yes. I’m sure. And it’s too late to change our minds anyway, even if we wanted to. The first shipment is due in a matter of days, and Eddie already has contacts lined up to take the weapons off our hands. It’s that easy, Lucca. We don’t even have to get our hands the slightest bit dirty, the bikers are handling it all. And if Eddie accepts our proposal it will continue to be that easy. The Devil’s Creed will control that side of the business, and all we’ll have to do is sit back and watch the money roll in.”

  Up until now the bikers have helped only with the distribution of drugs, and in that respect they’re an important part of our inner circle. They’re an important and necessary arm of our business, now more than ever, since my decision to move us into arms trafficking, something cartels don’t usually get involved in. Javier certainly didn’t, Lucca’s right on that score. But I’m not Javier. I want to expand our business, and the bikers, they know about weapons. Their knowledge is invaluable.

  “Javier taught me to look out for business opportunities, Lucca, and that’s exactly what I’ve done.”

  “It pushes us into a whole new world, and okay, it’s a world I’ve been a part of before, I know how it works, but the cartel – it doesn’t need to go down that road. It isn’t like we need the money, we make more than we could ever need from the drugs alone, especially since Casper started supplying product. And that’s before we even look at the income we gain from our legitimate businesses, the hotels and restaurants; the bars and clubs. Before we even look at how much the casinos bring in.” The casinos set up to launder money. The perfect front. “I just want you to think about it, that’s all. You say it’s too late to change our minds, but there’s still time to back away from all of this, if you’re not sure. I can make that happen. I can stop this, if you want me to.”

  I stare at him, my eyes boring into his. “I’m sure. What I’m not sure about is you feeling the need to question my decisions when they’re mine to make. My decisions, Lucca. Not yours.”

  I take a fresh glass of champagne from a passing server and walk away. I’m well aware that becoming involved in the world of arms dealing is something new for the Delgado cartel, but Lucca knows I haven’t gone into this blind. How could I? I have him. I have the bikers; people who will oversee everything, I don’t need to know anything in any great detail. I just need to be able to trust those who become close to me. Those who work with me. For me.

  Going back inside, I take a moment to look around the crowded room. All of these people here tonight, they’re here for me.

  Because they want to be?

  No. Not all of them.

  Because they fear me?

  Some do. Many more should.

  Because they like me?

  I could probably count on one hand the number of people that applies to, but it doesn’t matter. This isn’t a business you come into to be liked. This world doesn’t encourage friendships, as Javier never tired of telling me…

  Fourteen Years Earlier…

  “Friends aren’t important, Olivia.”

  I watch him as he fastens his tie and rakes a hand through his hair. Javier Delgado. A man I couldn’t say no to, and I tried. I did, I really tried. But I soon learnt that he’s a man who pursues what he wants to the dogged end, and now I’m here. At his San Diego estate, a place he bought purely to be closer to me. His main home is in Ensenada, Mexico – the villa I went to that night, during my vacation. He has dual nationality, which enables him to move between the US and Mexico quite easily, he has business interests in both countries. I never know when I’m going to see him next, but for some reason I always come when he asks me to. He’s that kind of man. And I put up a fight to begin with, I did, I swear. But he continued to wear me down with his charm and his kindness; the endless phone calls after I’d left Mexico. I’d seen him once more, before I’d driven home, we’d had dinner at the hotel. I felt safer, in a very public place, not alone, like the first time. We’d exchanged numbers, and he’d promised to call, but I hadn’t expected him to. I wasn’t even sure if I’d wanted him to, I don’t think I did, at the time.

  I went home, back to the US, and my life returned to normal, for a month or so. Until one day, out of the blue, he called; told me he was coming to San Diego on business and could we meet for a drink at the hotel he was staying in. Another hotel he owned. Another one of many, I later found out. That was a little over a year ago. And now we’re – actually, I don’t know what we are, exactly, but we’re together. In some shape or form.

  “Friends get in the way.”

  He turns around to face me, and he smiles a smile I’ve grown to love. He looks so much more handsome when he smiles. Like he doesn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

  “There. How do I look?”

  I go over to him and straighten his tie, brushing the shoulders of his dark-blue jacket down before reaching up to kiss him.

  “You look so handsome.”

  His arm circles my waist, pulling me to him as we kiss again, his mouth warm and soft against mine. “I care about you very much, Olivia. I hope you know that.”

  “I know,” I whisper, running my fingers lightly over his neat beard. “I care about you, too.”

  “Good. I like to hear that. It makes me very happy.”

  He smiles again and lets go of me, and I turn around and look in the mirror, gently smoothing down my strapless black sheath dress. Javier comes up behind me and lays a hand on my hip, his breath warm on my neck as he leans into me.

  “My beautiful girl,” he murmurs, his lips lightly brushing my skin. “Stay with me tonight, mi amor. Please.”

  I reach for his hand, our fingers sliding together, and I fall back against him. “If that’s what you want.”

  He gently turns me around, kissing me deep and slow, and not for the first time I wonder how I got here. How I came to be with this man. A man I’m still not sure I know, not really. I think there’s a huge part of himself that he’s deliberately keeping hidden from me, and there may well be a reason for that, but am I comfortable with his secrets? Because he has them. I’m sure of it.

  “What I really want is for you to move in here, permanently. I want this to be your home, Olivia. I want this to be our home.”

  I look down at his hand holding mine, and I close my eyes and take a breath. But I don’t say anything.

  “I want you with me, mi niña hermosa. Here, and in Mexico. I want my home there to be yours, too.”

  “I have a job here, Javier. I have a life…”

  “You will have a better one,
with me. I can promise you that.”

  He wants me to leave my world and move permanently into his, and even though that scares me, I also know that it’s something I’ve already started to do. I miss him, when I’m not with him. When he’s away I worry about him. I need him, because without him I feel empty, so what he’s asking me to do, it’s already started to happen. And I’m not sure I can stop it now. I’m not sure I want to.

  “It still feels like you’re hiding a part of yourself from me, Javier. And if we’re going to be together; if we’re going to be living together, then I think I need to know – I want to know all of you, is that too much to ask?”

  I hadn’t intended to say that out loud, but I think he needs to know how I feel, if this – whatever it is that we have – is going to go anywhere.

  “You know all that you need to, for now, Olivia.”

  That’s a veiled reply, and it doesn’t make me feel any more comfortable. But when I look up into his eyes all I see is a man who I know will always be there for me. A man who’ll keep me safe, even though I don’t think I need protecting. A man who loves me. And I love him, too. I think, for now, maybe, I’m happy for that to be enough…

  ~~~

  The party’s ended, a little later than planned, but the house is empty now, except for those who live here, with me. My protection.

  I slip off my shoes and step out of my dress, leaving it lying on the bedroom floor as I head into the bathroom and switch on the shower. As is the norm every night before bed, I always feel a need to wash the day off of me.

  I stare into the mirror and start to wipe the make-up from my face, I’m washing that mask away, but it’s one I need to wear, every day. To be the woman I have to be now, I need that mask.

  Closing my eyes I drop my head, my fingers grasping the edge of the marble sink. And I breathe in deeply, exhaling slowly, I do this every night, too. Every morning. It’s become like a ritual for me. I close my eyes and I remember everything Javier taught me, because I wanted to learn. I wanted to know his world, even though it was one that, in the beginning, seemed terrifying to me. And I was scared, of course I was, when I finally learnt the truth about who Javier really was; what he did. What he was capable of. But, it’s funny how love can lessen that fear. I trusted Javier, with my life. I trusted that he would teach me everything I needed to know in order to survive in his world, but I never once thought it would become mine in the way that it has. But the day I was told he’d been gunned down, that was when I knew. Nothing had been clearer. I was taking control. By that time, the girl I’d been when I’d first met Javier had long gone. She’d been consumed by this life, because she’d loved the man who’d made his world one she wanted to live in, no matter how dangerous. The girl I’d once been would never have survived that. The woman I am now, she has.