Beautiful Dangerous

by Michelle Betham

  The journey to the Devil’s Creed clubhouse is spent in silence, and I’m glad of that. Javier stares out of the window, and I use the time to get my head together, to get used to the fact that he’s back, where he belongs, at the head of this cartel. For him, life is returning to normal, but for the rest of us too much has changed, and for the first time in my life I’m nervous. Scared of what the future might hold, but I can never show that. Never.

  As soon as we pull up outside the clubhouse, Eddie’s out and hugging Javier like they’re long-lost brothers or something. But they’ve always been close, just, not close enough for Eddie to have been included in his secret.

  “Eddie! It’s so good to see you!” Javier exclaims, planting a series of friendly slaps on Eddie’s shoulder.

  “Javier, Jesus, brother, what are you doing to me?”

  Eddie Calito is one of the few men Javier would trust with his life, and I know that if he could’ve done, he would’ve kept Eddie in the loop, but for his – and Olivia’s – safety it was best as few people as possible knew the truth. And now, there’s this huge part of me that wishes I hadn’t known either. Then I’d have an excuse. A reason for doing what I did, for sleeping with Olivia. Whereas now, if Javier ever found out what happened…

  “I trust Lucca has explained everything to you?”

  Javier’s voice yanks me back from those thoughts as we walk through the clubhouse to the chapel, where Eddie indicates to Javier to take a seat at the table, Eddie taking his usual place at the helm.

  “He did. We’re up to speed.”

  “And I also trust Olivia looked after you all in my absence?”

  “She’s a very special woman, your wife.”

  “Yes. She is.” Javier casts a quick glance in my direction, meeting my gaze with his usual steely expression, he’s good at hiding his true feelings. Because letting that mask slip makes him weak, that’s the kind of man he is. The kind of man we all are. Stoic. Hard. Emotionless.

  “So, where does your return leave Olivia now?” Eddie asks, sitting back in his seat. Everyone seems very concerned about Olivia’s fate, with good reason. She doesn’t deserve to just be cast aside, after everything she’s done for that man.

  “I’m still working that out.”

  “A lot of people liked doing business with her.”

  That’s true. They did. And why was that, huh? Was it because she was good at running a major cartel? Or was it because she’s beautiful? Maybe it was both, I don’t know. But Javier should be proud of her, for making sure the Delgado name is still respected. Still feared. Still trusted.

  “I’m sure they did,” Javier says, smiling slightly. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to know what a great job she did. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s the feeling I’m getting. And I know this man.

  “Some of those contacts may want to continue to do business with her.” Eddie leans forward, clasping his hands together on the table. “I know you’re back in charge now, Javier, but she did good, in your absence. She took up the reins in a heartbeat and she kept everything running, while she dealt with a grief she knew she had to keep hidden.”

  I know it isn’t Eddie’s intention to make Javier feel guilty, about what he had to do, but it seems like his words have unsettled Javier a little; made him realize just what it was he put Olivia through – a grief she didn’t need to feel. Pain she didn’t have to experience. There isn’t a lot in this world that causes him to feel guilty, but knowing his wife had to go through unnecessary pain, that’s something that’ll cut deep with him, no matter how necessary it was, because he loves her. Olivia. He loves her.

  “Then maybe I need to think hard about how Olivia remains an integral part of the running of this cartel.”

  He should do that. Together, they’d make one hell of a powerful couple.

  But you don’t want that…

  No, I don’t, I don’t want any of this.

  It doesn’t matter what you want. He’s back. And Olivia is his wife. His wife…

  I know that.

  I know…

  “It’s not my place to tell you how to run your business, Javier,” Eddie continues. “I’m just telling you what I know. What I’ve heard.”

  “No, Eddie, you’re right. Olivia wasn’t just some figurehead, put in place to look pretty while someone else did the work, it was all her. She deserves to play her part, and she will continue to do that. Alongside me.”

  He casts another glance in my direction, because he knows he’s just contradicted everything he told me earlier, about keeping Olivia away from the frontline now, but Eddie’s right. Javier needs Olivia more than he realized. Maybe more than he wants to need her, as part of the cartel, but she’s made too much progress, courted too many new contacts to be pushed aside now.

  “Now I’m back, I’m going to need Lucca with me, which means Olivia is going to need more security. I don’t want her going anywhere alone, especially once wind of my reappearance reaches certain circles. I have my own soldiers at all of our premises, but they will need to remain in place. What she needs is someone with her at all times. Can I trust you to help out where necessary, Eddie?”

  Hearing that makes my stomach sink, I’ve been so used to being around her, just the two of us…

  And look how you abused that privilege.

  The betrayal it led to.

  You’re safer away from her.

  Safer, but not happier.

  “Of course. I’ll get someone over to the house immediately.” I watch as Eddie beckons Angel over, and my stomach sinks even lower. Even though I know that what happened between him and Olivia was nothing more than sex, I still hate the idea of him being too close to her.

  Because you’re jealous…?

  Yeah. Because I’m fucking jealous!

  “You alright with this, Angel?” Eddie asks.

  “Whatever you need me to do.” Angel shrugs.

  “Okay. Thank you, Eddie. Now, onto other business. But first, I need to thank you personally for helping us to rid the world of Tony and Emilio Pino.”

  “We have each other’s backs, Javier.”

  And all of a sudden the enormity of the precipice we’re all standing on right now sinks further in. We may have ignited a war that’s been quietly raging for as long as the Delgado family can remember, but it’s one I know Javier is going to win. No matter what it takes, and what that means for me and Olivia…

  There is no you and Olivia.

  But I want there to be.

  Does she still want that, too…?

  Olivia

  “I hear your husband has risen from the dead, Olivia.”

  The deep, heavily accented voice of Endo French travels down a somewhat crackly line, making me wonder just where the hell he’s calling from. Or, indeed, why – given what he’s just said; what he now knows – he’s calling me. Shouldn’t he be contacting Javier? Shouldn’t he be talking to him?

  “Is that the reason why my shipment is now in the hands of the Delgado cartel? Why Tony and Emilio are no longer with us?”

  “Have you spoken to Javier?”

  “I would rather deal with you.”

  I sit back and shield my eyes from the sun as I look out over the ocean. “I think you already know the answer to your question regarding your shipment, Endo.”

  There’s a pause his end, and I smile to myself, I still matter to these people. They still respect me; see me as someone who isn’t just a pretty companion to her powerful husband. I’m powerful too. More powerful than even I realized.

  “You expect me to cut all ties with the Pino cartel, just like that?”

  “Well, first of all, we now have your product which, as I’m sure you’re more than aware, has not yet been paid for. And I can’t imagine for one minute that the Pino cartel are going to cough up all that money for something that is no longer in their possession.”

  He laughs, a deep, verging-on-sinister laugh tha
t carries no humor. “We have clients waiting for their deliveries, Olivia.”

  “Of course you do. And they’ll get what they’ve ordered, just as soon as we have your word on our new working relationship.”

  “You aren’t giving me much room for maneuver here.”

  “I wasn’t aware I was giving you any room at all.”

  Another pause, but I know that’s for nothing more than dramatic effect. Thanks to us, his options have been cut; his choices limited.

  “You know that it would benefit you greatly to work with us from now on, Endo. The Pino cartel are on their way to being decimated, they’re of no use to you anymore.”

  “You seem extremely confident that the war you’ve just re-ignited will be won by you.”

  It’s my turn to leave a moment of silence, just enough for him to wonder whether I’m changing my mind. Taking our offer off the table.

  “This new business arrangement, it will be extremely beneficial to you, Endo. Nobody is looking to rip anyone off here, what would be the point in that? We need as much product as possible, from as many places as possible, and so far we have no-one in Bolivia. We need you, just as much as you need us.”

  “I have other avenues I could explore, Olivia. I could write off the product you have in your possession, call it a gift. You are not my only option.”

  I am. We are. The Pino and Delgado cartels are two of the most powerful cartels out there, and with the Pino brothers now dead, we’re gaining more and more control. Becoming more and more powerful. Everyone else is still playing catch-up. And Endo knows that.

  “We control more of the border than anyone else. We see more product being shifted between countries than anyone else. You know how we work, Endo. And you know that coming into business with us is the best option for you right now. And you can trust us. You can trust me.”

  “Is that what you told Tony and Emilio?”

  “You know our two families have never trusted one another. That’s why there’s really only room for one of us now.”

  “You talk a good game, Olivia.”

  “I’m not playing games.”

  “We need to meet. Talk about this face-to-face.”

  “Whatever you need.”

  “I need to look into your eyes, and make sure the trust is there.”

  “Like I said, whatever you need to do in order for us to get you on board.”

  “I’ll be in San Diego tomorrow evening. Have dinner with me. Just you, Olivia. If we’re going to do this, I want to deal with you.”

  Because he thinks he’ll get an easier ride with me? I don’t think he’s that naïve, in fact, I know he isn’t.

  “Okay.”

  I still control a lot of this world, despite Javier’s sudden reappearance. And I’m not willing to give that up, I don’t intend to. My husband, he doesn’t get to turn back up here out of the blue and pick up where he left off, too much has changed for that.

  “I look forward to seeing you soon, Endo.”

  I hang up as the sound of a motorbike fills the silence, roaring to a halt down below. I get up and lean over the wall, and I frown, why is Angel here?

  Heading back inside, through the kitchen and out into the hallway, I find Angel talking to Jorge, but the second he senses I’m there he breaks that conversation and shifts his attention to me.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Meet your new bodyguard.”

  He grins at me, but right now I’m finding few things funny. And I think he gets that, thankfully.

  “Okay, you aren’t stuck with me permanently, we’ve got some rota system going, but apparently Javier wants Lucca with him, now he’s back. So you get the bikers.”

  “Aren’t I the lucky one,” I deadpan.

  It stands to reason that Javier would want Lucca back with him, he’s trying to establish some level of normality as quickly as he can, and that’s understandable. But I can’t shift the dull ache in my gut that’s appeared at the way my own kind of normal has now been disrupted; taken away from me in the blink of an eye. I’d got so used to Lucca being around…

  … because you were falling in love with him…?

  Because I was falling in love with him…

  “Olivia?”

  Angel’s voice snaps me back from thoughts of Lucca – thoughts I need to erase – and I look at him. None of this is his fault, he’s just playing the part he’s been asked to play. And I like Angel. It’s not a bad thing, to get to spend some time with him.

  “You got me for now. Is that okay?”

  I don’t have a great deal of choice. So I nod and head into the living room, the one that leads out onto the central courtyard. Angel follows me outside, leans back against the wall and lights up a cigarette. I also stay standing, I’m too on edge to sit still.

  “How are you holding up?” Angel asks, and I smile at him because he really is a genuinely good guy underneath all that macho shit.

  “As well as can be expected.”

  He takes a drag on his cigarette, dropping his head as he blows smoke at the ground. “It’s fucked up, right?” Raising his gaze, his eyes lock on mine.

  “Yes. It is.”

  I don’t know what else to say. Everything just feels a little crazy right now.

  “I should go and get ready. The party’s due to start in a couple of hours.”

  A party I’m really not in the mood for.

  “I get it, you know. How you must be feeling.”

  I frown. “How could you possibly get how I’m feeling?”

  He takes another drag on his cigarette, his eyes fixed on mine. “I’m just trying to be a friend here, Olivia.”

  Maybe. But trusting anyone right now, no matter how comfortable I feel in their company, feels nigh-on impossible.

  “You can trust me.”

  “Can I? I thought I could trust Javier. I thought I could trust Lucca, but… he knew, Angel. Lucca knew…”

  I stop talking. Angel’s aware that Lucca knew about Javier, he knows that now. Everyone does. But he doesn’t know what Lucca and I did. That we slept together. He doesn’t know that we fell in love, he doesn’t know that. Nobody knows that, and nobody can. Because if Javier finds out…

  “He lied to me. Javier lied to me. How can I trust anyone anymore?”

  He shrugs, stubbing his cigarette out on the ground, which irritates me actually. Our team of gardeners and grounds people work hard to keep this place neat and clean and there’s a place for cigarette butts, right there at his feet.

  “What?” Angel looks at me, wide-eyed and innocent, and then he follows my gaze to the squashed butt on the ground, crouches down to retrieve it, and tosses it into the brushed metal bin. “Okay?”

  “Okay.” I can’t stop myself from smiling now, I don’t know why, I just like being with this man. “Sorry, I’m just… The stupidest, simplest things suddenly feel like the biggest problems, and…” I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s going to take a while, I think, before I start feeling anything again.”

  He says nothing for a beat or two, our eyes still locked. “Like I said, Olivia. You can trust me.”

  Maybe I can.

  Maybe he’s the only one I can trust right now.

  “I really should go and get ready for this party.”

  Javier’s “back from the dead” party.

  “I’ll be here. If you need me.”

  “Yeah. I know you will.” Another smile. Like I said, none of this is his fault. “Look, why don’t you go and find Celine in the kitchen? I’m sure she’ll make you something to eat if you ask her nicely. She’s always got something cooking away on the stove.”

  I head back inside, but as I pass Angel he gently reaches for my arm, catching my wrist, and I stop and I look at him.

  “Anything you need, cariño. Anything.”

  I drop my gaze, watching as his fingers fall from my wrist, and I walk away.

  I ha
ve to get ready now.

  Ready to play my part.

  My new role.

  I’m the wife of a powerful man. Just the wife, now. Right?

  Wrong.

  Behind every powerful man it’s highly likely there’s a woman twice as powerful. Something Javier Delgado will slowly come to realize. Eventually…

  Thirteen

  Olivia

  “I’m sorry I’m late, mi amor. The meeting with Eddie ran on a little longer than expected.”

  Javier tosses his suit jacket onto the bed and starts to unfasten his shirt.

  “Do you want me to run you a bath?” I ask, immediately falling into the role of dutiful wife, I mean, that’s what he wants me to be now, isn’t it?

  “I’ll just take a quick shower. I don’t want to be the last person to arrive at my own party.” He comes over to me and drops a quick kiss on my lips before hurrying into the bathroom.

  I pick up his jacket and slide it onto a hanger; head into the walk-in-closet and put it back where it belongs, alongside an array of new suits that have suddenly appeared, I’d got rid of his old ones, after his “death”. Donated them to charity. But I’d left his side of the closet empty, and now it’s full again. And I’m still struggling with how I really feel about that.

  Your husband’s back.

  I know.

  You should be happy, shouldn’t you?

  I should be. But I’m not…

  Walking over to the other side of the closet – my side – I start flicking through the rails of dresses, looking for the perfect one to wear tonight, finally settling on a black sheath dress that sits just above the knee. Simple but stylish, because that’s how I like to dress.

  Slipping on high-heeled ankle boots, a diamond bracelet – an anniversary present from Javier, and one of the few expensive pieces of jewelry I own, I’m not one for ostentatious displays of wealth, this wasn’t always my world, remember? – and large hooped earrings, I check my reflection in the full-length mirror, cocking my head as I trail a finger lightly over my collar bone.

  “You look beautiful.”

  I turn around slowly, and I smile at him. My handsome husband. A man who was once my world, until I started to realize I could live in one without him. And now I don’t know what I’m feeling. Do I want my old world back? Or am I missing the new one I was just starting to get used to…?