Beautiful Dangerous

by Michelle Betham

  He grabs my wrist, yanking it upward, his dark eyes almost black with rage as they lock on mine. “You have so much to learn…”

  “Like what, Javier? What do I have to learn, hmm? How to become the submissive bitch your ego needs me to be now? How to sink into the shadows, become nothing more than a vessel to bear your children? I’m forty years old, there isn’t a lot of time left for that dynasty you seem in such a hurry to create to happen now.”

  He forces my arm up higher, causing a sharp pain to shoot up from my shoulder, but I don’t let him see that he’s hurting me.

  “I used to love you, so much,” I whisper, and I take the nanosecond of time he allows for his grip to loosen on my wrist, snatching my arm from his grasp, pushing him back against the wall, the satisfaction I get from the surprise on his face urging me on. “I used to fucking worship you, but now I’m beginning to wonder if that was nothing more than me being blinded by your control.”

  He sneers, his fingers trying desperately to regain their grip on my wrist, but he’s forgetting the woman I am now, and before he can take another breath I’ve got the scarf pulled tight across the front of his neck.

  “You might think you can keep me prisoner, Javier, but that’s just not going to happen. You want a new start in Mexico? Fine. We go there, I forget about Lucca, we put all this shit behind us. But if you think it’s all going to be on your terms, you’re wrong. I’m not going to be some trophy wife, and what’s more, people won’t accept me as that. They know me now, they know what I can do, I’ve earned so much respect from so many people it would make your head spin, so don’t for one moment think you have any control over me. You don’t. You won’t.” I push the scarf tighter against his throat, and once again he sneers and laughs and I have the greatest urge to push harder; to wrap it around his fucking neck and pull it until I’ve pushed the last breath from his body, but that isn’t who I am. I went to bed feeling defeated and woke up with a renewed energy to fight fire with fire, I can do this. And even though it’s a fight I might not be able to win outright, I can at least make sure it’s an even battle.

  We lock eyes, and I feel everything from fear to a warped excitement flood through me as I finally step back from him, but he stays where he is, he remains calm as I go back to sorting through the neat pile forming on the footstool.

  “You want to continue running the cartel, alongside me?”

  “I think you know that’s what I want.”

  What I really want is to leave this fucking life behind, and start a new one, with Lucca, somewhere so far away from here, but I can’t do that now. I’m not stupid, I can’t have it all my way, but I’m sure as hell not giving everything up.

  “It isn’t what I had planned.”

  I look at him. “Plans don’t always work out the way you want them to.”

  “So it would seem.” He moves a little closer, but I’m not afraid of him. He doesn’t scare me anymore. “What are you doing with those?”

  “I can’t take everything with me. And a lot of this stuff I haven’t worn in years. I thought I’d give some of it to charity, Celine knows of places that would be extremely grateful for my donations. And most of that jewelry there, it’s only costume.”

  A heavy silence hangs in the air as I continue to pack away the things for Celine to take with her.

  “I can’t make you any promises, Olivia…”

  “Try.”

  He frowns, and I push past him, back out into the bedroom, there are a few things in there I have no use for anymore. Celine can have those, too.

  “Did you never want to be a mother, Olivia?”

  “It’s not something I ever gave a great deal of thought to.” I nudge the drawer shut with my hip and lean back against it, clutching the sweaters I’ve just taken out of there to my chest. “I was happy with us the way we were. And I was never all that keen on sharing you, although, in hindsight, the reality was I very rarely got the biggest piece of you. Did I?””

  He smiles, a warm smile that reaches his eyes, but then he drops his head and I can’t see his eyes anymore. “I gave you as much as I could, Olivia. I thought it was enough.”

  “It was. It was always enough.”

  He slowly raises his gaze, and his expression is almost apologetic, which throws me slightly. “I’m so sorry, mi amor. That things have turned out this way.”

  “Shit happens, Javier. We both know that better than anyone.”

  I start to walk back to the closet, but as I pass him he grabs my upper arm, pulling me to him, the sweaters I was carrying falling to the floor. “You are not to go near him, Olivia. When he is in this house you keep your distance, I don’t want to find out you’ve been sneaking around behind my back…”

  I yank free of him, taking a step back. “I’m not some errant teenager you can bark your veiled threats at.”

  “Believe me, Olivia, my threats are not veiled. They’re crystal clear.”

  I stare at him, and the darkness is back in his eyes. But he won’t break me. He won’t, I won’t let him do that.

  “If I find out that you and he have even breathed the same air for however short a time, you will find out just how clear those threats are.”

  And with that, he walks out of the room, assuming he’s rattled me. Put me in my place. Let him think that. Let him think he’s the one in control, but he isn’t. He’s wrong. He’s so fucking wrong…

  Lucca

  “Would you like something to eat, Lucca?” Celine’s eyes narrow as she asks me that, she seems worried about me. She needn’t be. I’m fine.

  Liar!

  “No, thank you, Celine. I had something at the clubhouse.”

  She gives a loud snort of derision and waves a dismissive hand in the air. “Pah! The food in that place, it’s barely fit for human consumption.”

  I can’t help smiling as I help myself to coffee. “Some of it isn’t so bad. They get their meat from a very reputable butcher.”

  She gives me the side-eye and points a wooden spoon at me. “I know that butcher. Ignacious Hernandez…” She shakes her head and crosses her arms. “He’s not a good man.”

  I raise a brow. “Doesn’t mean to say he can’t supply decent meat.” I take a sip of coffee. “And why isn’t he a good man? What do you know about him?”

  “I know he broke my sister’s heart back in nineteen-eighty-eight.” She shakes her head again, tutting away to herself as she starts stirring a big pot of vegetables. Peppers and onions, I think, all I know is it smells amazing! “That makes him a bad man in my book.”

  I raise both brows this time, although I’m sure, deep down, that even Celine gets the irony of her description of a bad man. What the hell does that make her employer? What does it make me?

  “Are you looking forward to moving back to Mexico?” I ask, swiftly changing the subject. “It must be a wrench, leaving the house you’ve ran for so long.”

  She looks at me and gives me a full-on beaming smile. “Of course it is, but it wouldn’t be the same without Javier and Olivia here.” And then her expression turns almost apologetic as she realizes what she’s said. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…”

  “It’s fine, Celine. I know what you mean.”

  She slams a hand against her chest, lets out a relieved sigh, and smiles at me . “I will miss you, Lucca.” And then her expression changes again, and she comes toward me, rests a hand on my arm and the look she gives me verges on pitying. “I know Olivia will miss you too. Very much.”

  She holds my gaze for a few moments more, gives my arm a gentle squeeze, and when she steps back from me she shoots me another look. A knowing look? Has Celine known all along that Olivia and I…?

  “Celine, do you…?”

  She shakes her head, quite vigorously, actually, as she picks up the wooden spoon and continues to stir those vegetables. “We’re all making new starts now, Lucca. No more living in the past.” That’s her way of tellin
g me that the subject is closed. Although it was barely open, in reality, but the look in her eyes… she knew. Were we really that transparent? No wonder it didn’t take Javier long to work it out. Unless he had spies…? I shake my own head, to get rid of those ridiculous theories, my paranoia’s slowly getting out of control, and I can’t let that happen. “You must be excited, to be taking over here?”

  Celine’s voice drags me back into the room, and I force a small smile. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

  I’m not. Not really. I don’t want this shit anymore, I want a normal life with the woman I love and I can’t believe how ridiculous that sounds, to be honest. How can a man like me have anything even resembling a normal life?

  Fight for it.

  Fight for her.

  I intend to…

  “Here. Taste this.”

  Celine shoves a spoon laden with cooked peppers and rice in my face. I take it from her, blow on the food to cool it, and eat it. It’s delicious, but then, everything Celine cooks is delicious. I’m going to miss her food, a lot.

  “Not too spicy?” she asks, her hands on her hips as she waits for my verdict. “Enough salt?”

  “Perfectly seasoned, and just the right amount of heat, for me.”

  “Good.” She turns back to the stove and puts a lid on the pot. “Katy will look after you, when we’re gone. She’s learnt a lot from me, she’s a good girl. A hard worker.”

  “I know. But I’ll still miss your cooking.”

  She turns her head to look at me, smiling widely. “Thank you. I will cook you something extra special before I go, your favorite. And maybe a couple of meals to put in the freezer…”

  “Celine, please, you have enough to think about without making extra meals for me. And I’m sure, as you’ve already said, that Katy is more than capable of replicating your recipes.”

  “Of course she is!” She shoots me another smile. “But she will never be able to recreate them as well as me.”

  She winks at me and I laugh, and for a moment I allow myself a few minutes of peace and calm as I chat to Celine about seeing family members she hasn’t seen in a long while, her son’s college course, and the house in Mexico she’s about to take charge of.

  “Change isn’t something we always welcome,” Celine says as she ladles portions of rice and vegetables into containers. “But sometimes it needs to happen.” Once again she throws a knowing look in my direction, and now I’m sure she’s very much aware of how Olivia and I felt about each other, before Javier’s return from the dead. She knew, but she’s loyal to Javier, always has been, he’s like a son to her, and now that he’s back she wants him to be happy. I get that. But doesn’t Olivia’s happiness count, too?

  “Maybe,” I murmur, setting my empty mug down on the counter before heading toward the door.

  “Lucca?”

  Her voice makes me turn back around. “Yeah?”

  “Olivia will be okay. Javier, he adores her. And their love story, it was always meant to be.”

  I force another smile and nod, even though I don’t believe a word of that. I don’t believe Olivia will be okay, and maybe Javier does adore her, but their love story? That’s over. It’s done.

  Heading out of the kitchen, I pull out my phone and check for messages, but there aren’t any. And my heart sinks. Before Javier’s reappearance Olivia and I used to text all the time, when I wasn’t with her which, granted, wasn’t that often, but I miss the small, everyday things we used to chat about. I miss the interaction, the always feeling like I was connected to her, that we were growing closer…

  And that’s when you should’ve stopped it. That’s when you lost control…

  “There you are!”

  Javier’s voice booming along the hallway almost causes me to drop my phone, and I shove it back in my pocket and look up.

  “Where’ve you been?” he asks as he strides toward me, his face a mask of barely hidden contempt. And who died and made him my fucking father?

  “At the compound.”

  “With the bikers?”

  “Yes, with the bikers. If you’d needed me you should’ve called.”

  “I shouldn’t have to call, you should be here. If you want to stay out all night then you should at least have the courtesy to let me know.”

  I’m surprised he’s not having me tracked, to be honest, but then again he has no need, does he? He won’t let Olivia out of his sight, therefore she can’t get to me without his knowing. So why the fuck he cares where I am, I have no idea.

  “Tell me one thing, Javier. Putting me in charge here, why are you doing that?”

  “Because you’re the best man for the job. And I need someone in charge who isn’t going to fuck up.”

  “I already fucked up. I already lost your trust, and surely having someone in charge who you trust is more important than anything?”

  The corner of his mouth lifts a little, and he slides his hands into his pockets and takes a few steps toward me, until he’s right by my side. And then he leans in to me, lowering his voice to a whisper. “You know what they say, Lucca. Don’t you? Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

  He steps away from me, his eyes locking on mine for the briefest of seconds, and then he walks away, leaving me wondering where Olivia is. Is she alone? Or is he heading off to find her, before I do?

  I lean back against the wall and look outside, over the pool and the palm-tree-lined terrace, but there’s no sign of Olivia. And why would there be? Like I said, he’s rarely letting her out of his sight right now.

  “Lucca?”

  The sound of her voice hits me like an unexpected punch to the back of the head, and when I look at her she smiles, and my heart fucking breaks. And then she remembers where we are, what’s happening, and the smile drops from her beautiful face. But I can tell she wants to say something to me, despite the fact we shouldn’t even be here, like this, we’re just so desperate to be together, grab even the smallest of seconds, it’s worth the risk.

  Is it? Really?

  Yeah. It is…

  “In here.” She quickly takes my hand and drags me into the living room, so quickly I don’t really have a choice in the matter.

  “What the hell are you doing, Liv?”

  She slams me back against the closed door and kisses me, and my arms close in around her, it’s a reflex action I couldn’t have stopped if I’d tried. Her mouth is warm and soft, but this kiss is dangerous, and it shouldn’t be happening, I have to push her away. And I need to get out of here. We’ve grabbed that small second, but we need to go now.

  “Olivia, come on…”

  Her grip on my hands is vice-like, I had no idea how much strength she had.

  “I can’t do this, Lucca. I can’t go with him, I can’t leave you behind, I can’t do it.”

  “Hey, slow down, I know. I know, and I don’t want you to go, believe me, but right now this shouldn’t be happening. He’ll be looking for you…”

  She finally lets go of me, steps back, and her shoulders slump as she drags a hand through her hair. “I know.”

  “So I’m going to go, okay? For both our sakes.”

  Her head snaps around, her eyes locking on mine, and there’s an anger in there now. A darkness she only ever used to display when shit was about to hit the fan. “This is it, isn’t it? Both of us just accepting the fate he’s decided to dole out to us.”

  “I will never stop fighting for you, Olivia. Believe that.” And despite the alarms going off in my head and the danger signals flashing away I go over to her, tuck a finger under her chin and tilt her head up until her eyes are back on mine. “I will never stop fighting for you. And I will come for you, alright? I will come for you, and we will leave this all behind, one day. Soon, I promise you that. I promise you.”

  But deep down I know I’m making promises I may not be able to keep. I don’t know what the future holds anymore, for all I know Javier taking her
away from here, keeping her with him, that might be all it takes to condition her into loving him again. I can only hope she’s changed enough for that not to happen. That she loves me enough to wait for me, however long it might take for me to get to her. Because I will come for her. You can bet your fucking life on that.

  She smiles, and it lifts my heart for all of a nanosecond, but that’s all, because I really do need to get out of here.

  “I love you,” she whispers, her lips almost touching mine as she speaks, and I ache to pull her back into my arms and keep her there; never let her go.

  “I love you too, mi reina.”

  And I hate that she’s crying, that I’m wiping hot tears from her cheeks; that I have to leave her standing here, alone, before Javier finds out we’ve stolen these few minutes together.

  “I have to go, Liv.”

  She nods, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as I walk away, out of the room, and I don’t look back. I can’t, look back, I can barely breathe until I’m well away from wherever she is.

  I need some air, a moment to pull myself together, so I head out to the pool and sit down on the terrace, drop my head into my hands, and let the tears fall…

  Twenty-Two

  Olivia

  “The plane will be ready on Saturday evening. I thought we might as well head over there sooner rather than later, it makes sense, after all. There’s nothing keeping us here anymore, everything’s in order. And I’m sure Lucca is on top of it all.”

  I lay down my fork and look at Javier, the warm glow of the candles in the center of the table lighting up his handsome face, but all I’m seeing now is a tyrant. A man who wants to possess and control me and that isn’t what I signed up for.

  You married a cartel boss. What did you think you were signing up for…?

  “Saturday?”

  That’s too soon. I still need more time.

  For what? Your dream’s are dying, Olivia. Let them go…

  “Yes. Why waste any more time? The house is almost ready for our arrival, and Celine is going on ahead of us to oversee the final arrangements and meet the staff, she’s leaving tomorrow.”