Always Mine

by James, J. P.

  After all, it’s too soon for me to be interested in someone else. Ryan died only a week ago and we haven’t even buried his body yet. Yet, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Bryce since the moment our eyes met in the church. An affair with him would be scandalous, but every second of scrutiny would be worth it. For him, I think I just might risk it all.

  9

  Bryce

  All of Smithtown is here to mourn Ryan’s death. A somber cloud looms over our heads and our hearts are heavy with sorrow. It’s been a week and a half since the tragic accident and I’m still having a hard time accepting the fact that he’s gone. The car crash was so bad that his family decided to have a closed casket funeral.

  Even worse, I just keep thinking about Ryan’s husband and wondering if he’s okay. I didn’t see Conor during the service, but that’s because I was seated all the way in the back. He probably was sitting up front trying not to lose it. I wish I could’ve been right there next to him, but it would have been weird. No one knows what we did, after all. My eyes scour the cemetery in search of Conor, but no luck. All of the guests dressed in black seem to blend in with one another.

  Maybe he regrets the night we spent together and now he doesn’t want anything to do with me? I thought we both felt the same way about each other, but who knows? He hasn’t called, despite the fact that I left my number. It’s sad, really. I’ve been staying at the same hotel since I got here over a week ago, with my nerves on edge waiting for the phone to ring. To be honest, I was expecting him to show up at my door and jump into my arms immediately, but that didn’t happen. Shit.

  It was probably too soon to make a move, but I couldn’t resist Conor. It was like his body was calling out to me, and begging me to use it for my pleasure. I had to give in and listen to the command, but things got intense real fast. After all, we got a little rough in bed, but I thought that’s how he wanted it. A passionate man like me doesn’t know how to hold back, so maybe our love making session was too much for Conor. He’s probably not used to a lover manhandling his body the way I did. I probably shocked the hell out of him.

  Or maybe he’s just been distracted with planning his husband’s funeral. The grieving widower has a lot on his plate right now, and the truth is he just doesn’t have time for me. Whatever the case may be, I need to know why Conor never called. I think I deserve an explanation. You don’t have a deep connection like that, and then disappear. Plus, it wasn’t just about the sex for me. I want to be there to comfort him, for better or worse. The question is, does Conor want the same thing?

  Cries of grief ring out as the body’s lowered into the ground. Even the overcast sky looks like it’s ready to weep. A lump sits in my throat, but that’s when my guilt returns. I never would have slept with Conor while Ryan was alive, and I swear, I didn’t have any intention of sleeping with him that night in my hotel room. It just happened.

  I stare at the red rose in my hand as I say my goodbyes to my friend. “Rest in peace pal,” I say as I place the rose onto his casket. A hand in a black glove brushes against mine, and a tremor runs through my frame. I slowly look up and there’s Conor, standing across from me. Our eyes meet and sparks fly. We’re both frozen in place, unable to make a move in this wretched situation.

  “Hi,” I say softly.

  “Hi.” The single word is like music to my ears. I’ve been waiting days to hear his voice again. I realize that I probably shouldn’t be staring so hard right now because we’re at his husband’s funeral, so I force myself to look away. Conor’s so goddamn gorgeous that an imprint of his handsome mien dances before my eyes.

  “I should go,” I say.

  “Wait,” he whispers. “Meet me by the gazebo.” I watch as Conor walks away, his back straight. The black suit shows off his athletic frame, the material stretching over his ass with each step.

  I look around to make sure no one is watching as I follow him from a distance. He’s tormented me for days, refusing to call. I haven’t gotten much sleep, because I’ve stayed up every night waiting to hear his voice. I look back at the mournful group just to make sure no one is watching us. They’re all consumed in their grief, so no one even blinks an eye as the two of us disappear from sight.

  Conor waits in the gazebo as I wander the path to the garden structure. I can see his elegant frame sitting amidst the vines. The closer I get to him, the faster my heart beats. What does he want to talk about? I step into the gazebo and stare into those warm brown eyes, filled with grief, sadness, and also something indefinable.

  “Are you okay?” I manage in a strangled voice.

  “Yes,” he murmurs. Even wracked with grief, his handsome face is almost too much to bear. “I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

  “No, it’s okay,” I say. “These are tough times.”

  He nods wanly. “That they are. But I started feeling guilty about what happened between us,” he says with a sigh.

  “Did I do something wrong?” I ask. “You said you wanted passion, and I gave it to you.”

  “I know you did,” he says as he grasps my large hand, sending tremors down my spine. I wish I could have my way with him right here, but how? Maybe no one can see us at the moment, but if anyone wandered in this direction ....

  “I just got scared,” Conor says. “Ryan died and everything happened so quickly between us.”

  I take a deep breath. “What do you want, sweetheart?” are my words. “Tell me, because I’ll do whatever you want.” He turns away from me for a moment, unable to look me in the eye. I place a gentle hand on his jaw, and slowly turn him to face me once more. “Conor, what do you want?” I ask again. “Just tell me.”

  I stare intensely into his eyes as I wait for him to say something, anything. The words are on the tip of his tongue, but he’s still afraid. I place my hand on his heart and the hard thump-thump is immediately obvious. He wants me, but he’s afraid to let those words flow from his lips.

  “What do you want?” I ask again. Conor can’t take it anymore.

  “You!” he blurts out. Immediately, he covers his mouth with his hands as if he said a naughty word.

  “So why didn’t you call?” I ask, demanding an answer.

  “I thought you left and went back to New York City,” he says, biting his lip.

  “I stayed for you, like I said I would.” I pause. “I waited in that hotel room for you every night, but you never called.”

  “I’m sorry,” Conor says, his voice trembling. I can see the sincerity in his eyes. Since we’re alone, I impulsively seize his hand and quickly pull him in for a kiss. It’s supposed to be nothing but a peck, but within seconds, the bonfire’s started and we’re hungrily clasping each other. Oh shit, he’s delicious. My cock jerks to attention and my lover moans breathily beneath me. I fix him with a harsh stare.

  “I’ll stay one more night Conor, but if you don’t show up at my hotel suite tonight, I’m getting on the earliest flight back to Manhattan tomorrow morning,” is my demand. He stares at me, eyes wide. To emphasize the point, I get up and walk away, ignoring the pressure against my fly. I don’t want to be a hardass, but I can’t wait forever either. I need this man, and if he doesn’t show tonight, then I’ll have my answer.

  I stalk back down the hill toward Ryan’s family and friends, my body churning. What the hell is going on? Did I really just lay down the cards before a grieving widower?

  “Bryce, is that you?” I hear from behind me. It’s Nancy, Ryan’s mom, dressed in all black.

  “Hi Mrs. Solow, how are you?” I ask politely. She must be devastated. She and Ryan were like best friends so I know this is beyond hard.

  “I’ve been better,” she says, her voice low.

  “Do you need anything?” I ask, willing to do anything for this woman. After all, it was Nancy long ago who encouraged me to leave this small town so I could chase my dreams.

  “No, I’m fine. I’m just worried about Conor,” she says, staring away into the distance. At that moment, Con
or reappears from around a bend, and he does look bad. His head is down, and he seems to be staring sightlessly at the ground.

  “Poor thing lost the love of his life and now he’s all alone,” says Nancy in a worried voice. “I just hope he can get through this whole thing.”

  Oh shit. Nancy has no idea. She doesn’t know that Conor and I just kissed in the gazebo, nor does she realize that I’m hoping that Conor will come to my hotel room tonight. Oh shit, oh shit. What have I done?

  Yet, it’s not all bad. If Conor comes to me, Nancy won’t have to worry about him anymore. I’ll make sure all his needs are fulfilled and he’ll never want for anything, material or emotional. If he lets me into his heart, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it whole again. I just need that opportunity.

  After all, maybe I seem like the typical billionaire playboy type, but I really just want one man that I can come home to every night. One who cooks and cleans and knows how to take care of his spouse. An affectionate companion that I can start a family with. Is it wrong that I can see myself having all of that with Conor? From the moment I laid eyes on him, I could see a future with this handsome man.

  I try to smile with confidence. “It was good seeing you again Mrs. Solow,” are my words. “Just let me know if you need anything.” She grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

  “Oh you’re not heading back to New York just yet, are you Bryce?” she asks. I want to lie and tell her yes. No one knows what I’ve been doing lately. They probably just think I’m staying local to lend a hand during this horrible tragedy. But if I stay around too much longer, people will wonder what, or should I say who, is keeping me around. So no, I don’t want to tell Nancy my plans. I don’t want to tell her that I’m staying another night here in Smithtown, just in case Conor decides to show up at my door. So I mumble my excuses.

  “No not yet, but it’s been a long day. I’m going to head back to my hotel and get some rest,” I say in a vague tone.

  “Are you sure? We’ve got some food back at the house,” she says.

  “I’m sure. I don’t think I could eat anything on a day like today.”

  “Of course,” she says softly, placing her hand on my shoulder. “But if you change your mind, you know where the house is.” I nod, then give her one last hug before bolting away from the burial site. I’ve always hated funerals and this one is no different.

  Hurriedly, I get into my rental car and slam the door shut behind me. By chance, my gaze catches a glimpse of Conor in the rearview mirror. He’s got a somber look on his face as he shakes hands and comforts others. He’s so handsome, charismatic, and also utterly unavailable.

  Yet hope springs in my heart. We had something. A real connection that was more than just sex. He needed me, and our hearts melded in a true dance of harmony. So I look ahead, and swallow hard, starting up the car. I’m not sure what Conor’s decided, but against all odds, I hope the handsome man comes to me tonight so that we can see where this goes.

  10

  Conor

  I don’t know if what I’m doing is right. My hand lifts to knock on the door, and then falls again to dangle by my side. Shit. What the hell am I doing?

  After the ultimatum at the funeral, I didn’t know what to think. Bryce wants me to come. He wants to be with me. Yet, we’re both torn about this relationship because it’s still so soon after Ryan’s death. How can I do this? How can we do this?

  But the pull of the man is incredibly strong. Even at Ryan’s funeral, I could hardly keep my eyes off Bryce. His looming figure in that black suit was magnetic, and my gaze kept slipping to the width of his shoulders even as Ryan’s body was being lowered into the ground. What kind of horrible person am I?

  The kind who still believes in love after a tragic accident. The kind who still has his whole life in front of him, despite the vagaries of fate. I lift my hand to knock again, but then the door opens by itself.

  “Bryce!” is my gasp. The billionaire immediately pulls me inside and into his arms before slamming the door shut.

  “You’re here,” he murmurs against my lips. “Fuck, I was so scared you wouldn’t come.”

  Tears begin to fall from my eyes, and we kiss feverishly even through the waterworks.

  “I don’t know,” is my stammer. “But I just had to. You … you do something to me, and I can’t fight it anymore.”

  Bryce kisses me even harder, his mouth slanting over mine with possessiveness. “Then don’t fight it, sweetheart. Just feel, baby,” he whispers. “A lot has happened, and don’t beat yourself up about it. This isn’t the time. Instead, just go with the flow and you’ll feel a lot better.”

  We fall to the bed, our hands tearing at one another’s clothes. His suit is gone in an instant, and I catch my breath. This man is magnificent, and I can’t tear my eyes away from that hard, bronzed chest with defined, six-pack abs. But even more, I can’t tear my eyes away from that huge, veiny cock that’s glistening at the tip with pre-cum. He’s utterly magnificent, and tears come to my eyes again even as my own cock hardens with need.

  “Kiss it,” he growls, his gaze fierce. “Take me in your mouth, baby, and get me all lubed up.”

  I’m on my knees before him in an instant, swallowing the snake. It chokes me with its size, but I force myself to breathe through my nose, fighting the slight need to gag.

  “That a boy,” murmurs Bryce, stroking one large hand through my hair. “I knew you were a natural.”

  This time, I know exactly how my lover likes it, and my tongue swirls around that hard knob before dipping into his slit to taste his semen. The entire time, my eyes gaze up at his, and our eye contact is electric.

  “That’s right,” he purrs. “I like to see my baby as he gives me a blowjob. You’re my little kitten, aren’t you?”

  I’m so turned on that my dick’s dripping sperm onto the floor, but Bryce merely laughs. “Me first, and then you. Come on, up onto your hands and knees.”

  In a flash, I’m on the hotel bed with my legs spread and asshole winking.

  “Yessss,” is my delicious hiss as Bryce’s cock nudges my opening. “Yes, use my body to make yourself feel good.”

  He doesn’t hesitate. My lover eases his fuckstick in with one slow thrust, and I’m filled so full that I can’t breathe. My eyes roll up in back of my head and I clutch the sheets with white-knuckled hands.

  “Oh god!” is my expletive. “Oh fuck, you’re big.”

  Bryce chuckles in back of me. “That’s right, and you’re going to take every inch of this hot rod, loverboy.” He pulls back and then with one mighty thrust, pushes in again, driving all the air from my lungs.

  “Mmph!” is my emphatic grunt. “Oh shit!”

  But Bryce doesn’t let up. He begins a slow, thorough pound that has my teeth shaking and my body on edge. A low ball of fire builds in the pit of my stomach before rushing to the base of my balls, and then hot fire shoots through my pole, blasting forth like a powerful hose.

  “Oh!” is my gasp as my semen erupts again and again, forming a pool on the coverlet. “Shit!”

  Bryce grips my hips harder before fucking forwards with a few more emphatic thrusts. Then he loses it as well, and hot white bubbly jets into my ass, gallons of the good stuff filling and then overfilling my bottom.

  “Shiiiiit,” is his low growl. “I need this.”

  We collapse together onto the bed, my stomach covered in goop as his penis trembles and shoots its final sprays of bubbly batter.

  “Baby, you’re delicious,” he pants before slowly pulling out. His cock is glistening and magnificent … and still hard. “Are you ready for a second round, sweetheart?” he asks, those blue eyes devilish. “Because I promise you, it only gets better from here.”

  I stare at Bryce, my heart still thundering from my recent orgasm. Is this man serious? Are we really doing this? But as I gaze into his handsome face, my heart turns a somersault and a smile decorates my face. There’s been so much tragedy recently, and I don’t wa
nt to wallow in sorrow anymore. Bryce brings me joy, and I want to savor it.

  “Yes,” is my soft murmur. “Come to me, lover.”

  We kiss again, and this time mountains move as our lips touch. After all, Bryce and I met under the worst possible circumstances, but something here is real, and I want to explore everything this man has to give, and give what I can in return.

  11

  Conor

  Carefully, I lift the scalding lid of the crockpot and inhale the savory aroma of the hearty stew I’m making for dinner. A smile spreads across my face as I think of how delicious each spoonful will taste. It’s just about done, which is perfect because Bryce should be here in a few. Part of me feels bad because my lover and I have been sneaking around behind everyone’s back since Ryan’s funeral, but this last week has been the best seven days of my life. Things are heating up between us and the sparks continue to fly. I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy, but I’m completely elated and I never want this feeling to go away. His kisses send me flying to the moon and every night we have wild passionate sex that leaves my body trembling in the moonlight.

  I’m glad Bryce decided to stay here in Smithtown a little longer. After our rendezvous in his hotel room, he said he wasn’t ready to leave me, and honestly I wasn’t ready for him to go just yet. I was worried about the time he would be spending away from work, but Bryce is his own boss, so he’s been working remotely and coming over every day.

  Our time together has been glorious and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. As I stood in that gazebo at Ryan’s funeral, I had to make a decision. Either I was going to run from everything that I ever wanted, or I was going to give in to my intense attraction to Bryce. I chose the latter and holy cow, I’m glad that I did. Bryce has been helping me get over losing Ryan and he keeps me smiling from ear to ear. He makes me laugh harder than anyone else I’ve ever met and also has the sweetest soul. He’s the perfect man inside and out and even though I just lost my husband, I think I may already be falling for someone else.