25 Reasons to Hate Christmas and Cowboys

by Elle Thorpe

  A laugh caught me by surprise. And this was exactly why I’d called her. The worried look on Lila’s face smoothed out. “Good, got you smiling. Now tell me what’s going on. I assume it’s not a penis size problem, judging by your shocking sex hair.”

  I self-consciously smoothed down the back of my head. “The penis is fine. Great even.”

  “Good to know.”

  “And the sex was incredible. It’s just…shit, Lila. I don’t know what I’m doing. Something changed last night.”

  “In you? Or him?”

  I bit my bottom lip. “Both, I think. The way he looks at me, Li…”

  Lila nodded. “You like it?”

  “Too much. It makes me feel things I don’t want to feel.”

  She let out a long, slow breath. “Shit, babe. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

  I shook my head. “No!” I paused. “Maybe? God, I don’t know. This is all so messed up. We were having such a good time together, but last night was more than just a good time. I’ve never felt like that. About anyone.”

  Lila raised an eyebrow. “Anyone?”

  I nodded.

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. But what am I supposed to do now? I leave in a week. This was all just supposed to be fun. It’s been three weeks. You can’t fall in love with someone in three freaking weeks.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says everyone with a rational mind!”

  Lila didn’t say anything.

  “Li, just tell me what to do.”

  She grimaced. “I can’t do that for you, babe. You know that.”

  I groaned. “I need to cut this off now. I don’t want to hurt him.”

  Lila held up a finger. “Uh, excuse me? What? No. That’s not what you’re going to do.”

  I chuckled. “You just said you couldn’t tell me what to do.”

  “Yeah, well, your decisions suck, so I changed my mind. Why would you throw away something that’s making you so happy? Yes, you’ve only got a week left, but do you want to just be miserable for that whole week? Or do you want to have a week of mind-blowing sex that you’ll remember when you’re old and gray and married to some sensible accountant?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “You make my future sound so appealing.”

  She waved a hand around. “Babe, this is a fling. Maybe you’re mistaking lust for love. You’re going to go have the time of your life with that man for the next week, enjoy your white Christmas with his family and then you’re going to kiss him goodbye at the airport gates, like you’re Meg Ryan in whatever that movie was called.”

  “I don’t think there was a Meg Ryan movie where that happened—”

  She glared at me.

  I held my hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! I get your point.”

  “You’ll be over him before you get back to Sydney, I promise.”

  I nodded firmly. “Right. Okay. I’m going back inside before I get frostbite on my nipples. You’re still picking me up next week, yes?”

  “Of course.”

  “And have you heard about our apartment?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Okay. Thanks for the advice, Li. I miss you.”

  She grinned and waved. “See you in a week.”

  I nodded. A week. Seven short days until I’d be back in the blistering summer heat. Far, far away from the snow and ice I hated so much.

  But the thought didn’t fill me with excitement. I just felt numb.

  14

  Johnny

  Isabel was quiet the next morning when we woke up late. But by that afternoon, after we’d made love twice more, she seemed more like her usual bubbly self. I’d taken her on the kitchen counter, and then later I’d bent her over the dining room table and pounded into her until we’d both been shaking.

  The sex was amazing. No doubt about that. I hadn’t even known sex could be that good.

  And for the next few days we fucked like rabbits.

  But in the quiet moments, in the dim light of my bedroom, when we were both sweat soaked and clammy with the exertion of our efforts, I’d pull her close. With her head over my heart, and my arms wrapped around her naked body, there was nowhere else I’d rather be. I held her tight to me, inhaling the smell of her shampoo and placing kisses on her forehead for as long as she’d let me.

  I would have lain there in that bed with her until my old man hunted me down with a pitchfork when I didn’t show up for work.

  I’d barely let her out of my sight all week, and the hours she was at work were torturous. I counted the minutes until I could pick her up, and was always sitting in my truck, right at the store door come closing time. But December 23 was her last day of work, and when we woke up on Christmas Eve, I knew I wanted to make our last day alone together a special one. We still had Christmas Day, but we’d spend most of that with my family. And then she was flying out early on the twenty-sixth.

  I didn’t want to think about that. Because every time I did, a hollow feeling almost brought me to my knees. I’d contemplated bringing up a long-distance relationship, but I knew in my heart of hearts that would never work. She wasn’t just going to be a state or two away. A short one-hour flight we could do easily.

  She lived on the other side of the goddamn world.

  It would take two days just to get there, not to mention the cost. It just wasn’t practical, no matter how much the thought of letting her go ate me up inside. There was nothing else to be done.

  I rolled over, finding Isabel’s warm body in the dim light, and pressed my lips against the back of her neck. I banded an arm around her middle, my palm flattening on her belly beneath her sleep shirt, while I tucked my legs in behind her. She stirred, twisting her head to give me a sleepy smile, and I let my hand slide higher, cupping her breast.

  “Mmm,” she murmured, pressing into my touch. I fondled her nipple until it was taut, and she rubbed her sweet ass back against my morning erection. She groped around on the bedside table until her fingers closed around a condom, and she handed it back to me.

  In a second, I had my boxers off and the condom rolled over my length, while she wriggled out of her pajama pants, a squirming shape beneath the pile of blankets.

  I found her bare ass beneath the covers, running my palm over the smooth, soft skin of her cheeks before reaching around to find her clit.

  “Oh,” she sighed, while I rubbed leisurely circles on it. “That feels good.”

  She lifted her leg to rest on mine, and I snuggled in behind her, my cock pushing between her thighs to find her entrance. She moaned when I slid inside her, and I kissed her neck, sucking and licking her while simultaneously working my full length into her depths.

  Fuck, she felt good. She was so tight, and always wet and willing. I’d had more sex with her in the last week than I’d ever had with any woman, but it was never going to be enough. We fit so right. And not just in my bedroom.

  Levi and Mama and Pop all adored her. Toto the Second was obsessed with her, to the point where the kitten was annoyingly whiny whenever Isabel wasn’t here. I knew her boss at the store had raved about the work she’d done, and it seemed everywhere I went in town, somebody stopped and asked me about her.

  She fit into my life, like no one ever had before.

  Problem was, I didn’t fit into hers.

  But there was no place for thoughts like that today. Today was going to be all about fun and making more Christmas memories that made her smile. That was all I could give her. And I was damn sure going to do my best.

  I slid in and out of her until I had her panting and calling my name. She reached behind her, grabbing my thigh and urging me to get her there. I pinched her clit between two fingers and her walls clamped down around me, immediately sending me spiraling into my own orgasm. I pressed my face into her shoulder, pulsing inside her, my seed harmlessly spilling into the condom. I tried not to think about what it would be like to go bareback with her. I hated that the condom stopped me from fully e
xperiencing her, but it was a necessary evil.

  She wasn’t mine in that way.

  Some other lucky asshole would be the one who got to have her like that. Probably a surfer. Or a…I don’t know. Some other macho Australian profession. A crocodile wrestler.

  I pulled out of her and rolled to my back. A groan ripped through me, and I flopped an arm over my eyes.

  She giggled from beside me and pressed a kiss to my chest. “Good, huh?”

  It had been, but that wasn’t why I was groaning. I couldn’t tell her that I was carrying on because I’d begun having a waking nightmare about the guy she’d eventually marry. So instead, I twisted my head, looked into her cat green eyes, and said, “The best. You’re amazing.”

  That part wasn’t a lie.

  I kissed her pretty pink lips, but then pulled her up from the bed. The chill of the bedroom hit my warm skin, and I shivered.

  “Ugh, why are we getting out of bed so early? Neither of us is working today.”

  I hustled her into the bathroom, grabbing two fluffy towels from the linen cupboard along the way. “I’ve got plans for today. And we’ve got a lot to fit in. There’s no lying about on the agenda.”

  She pouted and grabbed at me, claiming she liked lying around with me, but I wasn’t having it. I turned the shower on for her, checking it was the perfect temperature—slightly hotter than I’d have it, because I knew that was how she liked it—and pointed to the waterfall. “Get in.”

  “Only if you come with me.”

  She didn’t have to ask me twice.

  By the time we had shower sex, then a proper shower to clean up, we set out for the stables thirty minutes later than I’d wanted to. I put my foot down on the accelerator, dirty-colored snow and mud squelching beneath the truck’s tires.

  “So what’s the plan for today?” she asked, putting her hand over mine on the stick shift.

  “Since the weather’s been nice the last few days, and the snow isn’t too thick, I’m taking you riding. Around the property. It occurred to me that I haven’t even shown you anything beyond the stables and the home paddocks.”

  Her eyes lit up. “I can’t believe we haven’t even gone horseback riding yet, considering how much time we’ve spent here the last few weeks.”

  I glanced over at her. “Can you ride? I guess there’s not many open fields to keep a horse in Sydney.”

  She grinned. “Actually, despite being a city girl, I’m pretty good. You’d be surprised how many places there are to ride back home. I even had lessons for a while.”

  “Huh. Well, you can probably teach me something then. I never had no fancy lessons.”

  She laughed. “Let’s not get carried away. I can ride a horse that’s plodding along a trail. I’m not exactly on bull riding level with you.”

  “I won’t give you Bucky then.”

  She slapped my arm. “You do not seriously have a horse named Bucky.”

  “Oh, but we do. And he’s named that for the exact reason you’re thinking.”

  We pulled up at the doors to the stable and made our way inside. I stopped and patted the noses of any horses who had their heads sticking out over their stalls, and then grabbed the saddles of the ones we’d be taking out.

  To my surprise, Isabel took one from me and made quick work of saddling the horse I pointed out to her. We led our horses to the barn door, and I cast an eye over her work.

  “Did I get it right?”

  “Sure did. Good job. We could make a country girl out of you yet.”

  She smiled, but then went quiet. The offhand comment had hit me where it hurt too, so I concentrated on mounting my horse and getting us out onto the dirt roads that snaked through our property.

  We could only go slowly, sticking to the paths we used regularly in the winter months, because I knew the horses would be able to handle them. But I was in no mood to rush anyway. Our horses plodded along, side by side, traveling farther and farther from the main house. The snowy mountains rose up in the distance, and I kept shooting Isabel little glances, just to take in the look of awe on her face. I tried to see it from her eyes, and that made the experience all the better. When I gathered the reins into one hand, and held my other out for her fingers, she sighed with contentment. Holding hands on the back of two horses wasn’t exactly easy, and we ended up laughing as we tried to keep the contact, despite the jostling gaits of our mounts.

  It took us over an hour to get where I wanted to be, but eventually we came to the crest of a hill.

  Isabel gasped when we reached the top, and despite my familiarity with the scene, I knew how she felt. It was the best spot on the property to take in the view, with its higher vantage point. In the spring, wildflowers grew here, and butterflies flitted around. But it was still beautiful in the winter, with the sun glinting through the tall trees and our property spread out as far as the eye could see.

  “I’ve got some treats for the horses. Want to feed them? We should let them have a break.”

  She dropped her reins and dismounted, and we fed the horses the apples I’d shoved in my saddlebag. I was confident they wouldn’t wander far, so we left them to poke around the snow.

  Isabel’s eyes glinted in the morning sun, and I wrapped my arms around her from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder while we gazed out over the land that would one day be mine.

  “It’s so beautiful here,” she said, her voice quiet. Reverent almost. “You’re really lucky to have this, you know?”

  “Pretty lucky to have you in my arms right now too.”

  I knew she was smiling, even if I couldn’t see it. I turned my mouth toward her ear, letting my breath mist over her skin. “So, tell me, Isabel. It’s December 24. Do you still hate Christmas?”

  She shivered, then twisted in my arms so we faced each other, a teasing smile pulling at her lips. “Mmm. Debatable.”

  My mouth dropped open in mock astonishment. “Debatable? Not a chance. I’ve won you over fair and square.”

  Her smile fell. “Yeah, Johnny. You have.”

  My heart started up a thumping beat. I leaned in and kissed her softly, silencing those three little words on the tip of my tongue. They were desperate to slip out. Desperate to be yelled even.

  When we broke apart, her eyes were sad.

  I grasped her chin, tilting it up to me. “Hey. What’s that about?”

  Her eyes misted over, and she shook her head.

  “Isabel,” I said more urgently, searching her gaze. “Tell me.”

  She sniffed. “I just…I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to say goodbye.” She buried her face in my chest, her fists clutching my shirt.

  I stepped back and grasped her cheeks between my hands, tilting her head up again so she was forced to look into my eyes.

  And threw every ounce of caution to the wind blowing off the snow-covered mountains.

  “Then don’t go.” Urgency laced my tone. “Don’t say goodbye.”

  My heart hammered, a mixture of hope and fear swirling through me. And I suddenly knew this couldn’t be it for us. This wasn’t enough. A month with her was never going to be enough. A whole damn lifetime wouldn’t be.

  “I love you,” I whispered against her lips, letting free the words I’d wanted to say for days now. “I’m so damn in love with you that just the thought of putting you on that plane rips me in half. Stay. Please.” I knew I was begging, and that it sounded desperate. But I was. Desperate to not lose her.

  Isabel’s eyes widened. “Johnny, I…” She took a step back, but I followed.

  Now that I’d opened the floodgates, everything I felt for her, everything I’d been suppressing since the moment I’d laid eyes on her came rushing to the surface. “Listen to me. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but this thing between us is special. You know it is. And I can’t let you get on that plane without at least telling you how I feel.”

  Confusion and indecision flickered on her face.

  My throat tightened, invisib
le hands strangling me while I waited to see which way her indecision would end. Every second that passed felt like a lifetime, with each tick of the clock pulling her further and further from me.

  But then her confusion cleared into resolve.

  “I love you too,” she whispered.

  My heart soared. I crowded in on her, pulled her against my chest, and let my lips crash down on hers. The branding kiss cemented it in my heart. She was mine. And I was going to fight to the very end to keep her.

  We kissed until we were both out of breath, and when I pulled away, I was grinning from ear to ear. I felt like screaming it at the top of my lungs. She loved me back! Yes!

  But the look on her face sent me crashing back down to earth.

  She shook her head sadly. “You didn’t let me finish. I love you. But that doesn’t change anything. I—”

  I shook my head, panic coursing through me. “No. No. Don’t say that. It does change something. It changes fucking everything. Marry me.”

  Isabel recoiled. “Woah, what?”

  The words had slipped out without thought, but now that they’d been said, I realized I meant them. I grabbed her hand.

  “I’m serious, Isabel. I love you. I don’t want you to leave. You can’t stay here forever on a work visa, but you can if you’re my wife. Marry me,” I pleaded. I held my breath waiting for her to answer, while my heart squeezed.

  She’d say yes. She had to. The thought of her saying no was unimaginable.

  She pulled her hand away from mine, and I blinked at her in surprise. “Isabel…”

  “Johnny—” Her face crumpled, and a sob cut off her voice. “I can’t.” The words were barely a whisper of anguish on her lips.

  My heart disintegrated into a million pieces.

  And when she fled, flinging herself onto the back of her horse and disappearing into the woods, she took each and every piece of my shattered heart with her.

  15

  Isabel