The Ending I Want

by Samantha Towle

  And there he is, bumping me right back down to earth. Right to the place he and I belong. In this moment.

  Biting my lip, feeling a little nervous at the thought, I say, “I don’t know…”

  “There’s no pressure. I just…really want you in that way. And I want you to know that.”

  I mull it over in my head.

  What harm could it do? Well, it could hurt like hell, for starters. But it’s not like I’m not used to pain. And I’m pretty sure, out of this pain, I’ll get some pleasure. Well, I’d better.

  And I know Liam wouldn’t do something to me that would hurt me in any way. Especially sexually. Every time we have sex, he’s always taking care of me first. He seems to derive pleasure from mine. Something else to adore about him.

  And ass sex…it’s something I’ve never done before…

  “Will it hurt?” I ask.

  “I’ll do my best to make sure it’s as painless as possible for you. I brought lube. And I got the good stuff.”

  “Oh, well, if you got the good lube—hang on. You brought lube with you? To your grandpa’s house?” I raise my brow.

  “When you put it like that, it sounds kind of seedy.”

  “Well, you are the one who wants to defile me in your childhood bedroom.”

  He grins, big. “Boston, I spent many nights in this bedroom, dreaming about defiling a hot babe—”

  “Hot babe?” I laugh. “Cheesy.”

  “Not cheesy. True. You are hot, babe.” He leans down and takes my mouth in a delicious kiss. Brushing his nose over mine, he stares into my eyes. “Truth is, I wasn’t expecting anything at all…but I also like to be prepared. Like a good Boy Scout. So, I brought lube with me just in case the opportunity arose. And, as it happens, it’s arisen.”

  That makes me laugh. “And that’s why you’re so successful in business. Always prepared for the unexpected and brilliant at negotiation.”

  “So, is that a yes?” He bites down on a smile.

  “Seeing as though you brought the good lube, then, yes, it’s a yes. But if you hurt me with that big cock of yours, I will break it in half.”

  His brows draw together. “You don’t need to worry, Boston. I won’t hurt you. Hurting you is the one thing I could never do. The only things I plan on giving you are intense levels of pleasure. Pleasure like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Now, get back up on your knees, and bend the fuck over.”

  With nervous and excited butterflies in my stomach, I turn over and get onto my hands and knees again.

  I feel Liam leave the bed. I look behind me and see him opening his bag.

  Then, he comes back over to the bed, and a bottle of lube hits the mattress beside me. He presses his hand to my back and runs it down until his hand is cupping my ass.

  His fingers slide down, between my folds, and he slips a finger in my pussy, slowly moving it in and out. My head drops forward again.

  His finger comes out of me and rubs over my clit. He pinches it, making me squirm. He reaches over and picks up the lube while still rubbing my clit.

  I hear the cap pop, and then his hand is gone from me. I hear him pump the lube.

  He’s doing it already? I look back, tensing up.

  I see him rubbing the lube onto his fingers.

  He catches my eye. “I’m going to use my fingers first, warm you up. Okay?”

  “Okay,” I exhale, relaxing a little.

  I feel his slippery finger slide between my ass cheeks. He starts rubbing the tip of his finger around the outside of my tight puckered hole.

  His other hand comes around my front, and his fingers find my clit. He’s working me up, rubbing and teasing my clit. The feel of the lube on there makes the friction feel so much more intense, or maybe it’s that his finger is slowly making its way inside my ass that’s making everything seem intense.

  The burn is there as the tip of his finger slips inside me.

  Oh my God.

  “How’s that?” he asks softly, his voice sounding rough.

  “Good,” I breathe.

  I feel him start to work a little more of his finger inside me. He’s going in so much easier than the last time we did this, and just having him inside me in this way feels so dirty and hot and sexy.

  Liam keeps going until his finger is all the way inside me, and I feel full of him but strangely not full enough.

  I need more.

  “You okay?” he asks, stilling his finger on my clit and the one inside me.

  “Mmhmm.”

  It takes me a moment to realize that he’s not going to start moving.

  I glance back at him. His brow is furrowed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Are you sure you want this?”

  I soften my gaze. “Of course I’m sure. I want you inside me, like this.” I push back on his finger.

  His eyes light up, like the striking of a match. “God, you look so fucking hot right now,” Liam rasps out the words.

  He slides his finger out and then slowly slips it back in. He starts fucking my ass with his finger, and I have never felt more sexy and hot than I do right now.

  He pinches my clit, making me cry out.

  “More,” I tell him. “I need…more.” My own hand grabbing at my breast, I pinch my nipple.

  “I’m gonna put two fingers in, baby. I need to get you ready for my cock.”

  “Yes. Please.” I’m starting to feel mindless from the sensation.

  His fingers are doing an amazing number on my clit.

  His finger leaves my ass, and I whimper at the loss.

  I hear the pumping of lube, and then I feel it running down my ass.

  Liam’s fingers are back, teasing and probing. The push is firmer this time. Two fingers. I feel him rotating them as the tips of them start to slip inside me.

  “Oh God,” I moan. My head dropping onto the pillow, I bite into it.

  He slowly works his big fingers inside me, rotating and stretching and filling me, preparing me for his cock.

  I’m panting into the pillow, my fingers clawing at the bedsheets, my body climbing toward what I just know is going to be an amazing orgasm.

  “Jesus, Taylor, I could come just from looking at you like this…you on your hands and knees with my fingers up your ass. I’ve never seen anything hotter.”

  His words, the sound of his voice…the feel of him inside me, his fingers teasing my clit…I’m so close to coming. My body is begging for all he can give me.

  “I need you inside me,” I say urgently, lifting my head to look back at him.

  He stills. “Are…you sure?”

  “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. I need this…I need you, Liam.” And, in this moment, I really and truly mean that. I’ve never needed anyone like I need him right now.

  Desire rages in his eyes. His jaw is clenched tight. He looks like he’s barely on the edge of restraint.

  He slips his fingers out of me, and his other hand moves away from my clit, leaving my body crying for his touch.

  He picks up the lube and pumps an obscene amount onto his cock, lubing it up. I guess he wants to make sure he’s as slippery as possible to get inside me. He pumps the lube down on my ass again, letting it slide down the crack. His fingers work it down and into my hole.

  I’m wet and slippery, and nervous and scared, but I’m so ready to have him inside me in this way.

  His eyes meet back with mine. “Ready?”

  “Yes…just…go slow.”

  My eyes meet with his. His eyes look raw, and his expression is tight, like he’s just hanging on to his control by the tips of his fingers.

  “I wouldn’t do it any other way. You want me to stop, tell me.” He might be hanging on to his control, but it doesn’t show in his voice. It’s soft and measured.

  “I will.”

  I look back ahead and close my eyes, focusing on relaxing. I figure, if I tense, it’ll hurt more. Like when you have a gyno examination, which is something I
really shouldn’t be thinking about right now—unsexiest thing ever.

  I feel Liam’s cock press against my ass, and all my focus goes straight to that one important place. He pushes in the tip, and I gasp.

  “You okay?” he rasps out.

  “Yeah,” I breathe out through the burn. It’s much stronger than the one I felt with his finger. “Just keep going.”

  His hands are gripping my hips, his fingers working restlessly against my skin, as he pushes in a little further. And further until he’s soon all the way in, deep inside me.

  “Boston…is this still okay?”

  “I’m not going to lie; it hurts a little, but…it feels good, too…if that makes sense.” I look back at him again.

  A smile eases onto his lips. He might be smiling, but his eyes are dark and dangerous and hot as fuck.

  “It makes sense.” His voice is rough.

  Liam moistens his lips with his tongue. Holding my eyes, he pulls his cock out, almost to the tip, and then slowly pushes it back in.

  I can’t take my eyes off of him. I’m mesmerized.

  The moment is so intense, and the pleasure I’m feeling is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

  Liam slides his hand under my stomach and lifts me upright. We’re both up on our knees, my back pressed to his chest, and he’s deep inside me.

  I reach my arms back, holding on to him to keep my balance.

  He cups my breast with one hand and begins kissing my neck, sliding his tongue over my skin, as he starts moving again, fucking me with slow, measured thrusts.

  At this angle…him inside me…so deep…it’s so fucking good.

  The hand on my breast makes its way down my stomach until his fingers are back on my clit, touching and teasing.

  His other hand wraps around my throat. His finger and thumb holding my jaw, he turns my head to his and takes my mouth in a kiss.

  The feel of him inside my body, his tongue in my mouth, his fingers on my clit…has me climbing toward the edge of madness and feeling like I’m falling at the same time.

  He breaks from my mouth but doesn’t let me move. He presses his forehead to mine, his eyes fixed on me.

  “This…you…” His voice is deep and low. “You’re amazing, Taylor. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. You make everything better. I’m better…with you.”

  Then, he’s kissing me again. Deep and intense and meaningful.

  His words are swirling around my head, tangling up with my own words and feelings that I have for him.

  Confusion and desire and how much I want this man leave me feeling breathless.

  This sex isn’t how I imagined it would be. I expected it to be rough and urgent, that it would be deep, primal fucking. But it’s not.

  It’s tender and meaningful.

  Can you make love while being fucked up the ass?

  Well, if you can, then that’s what Liam is doing to me right now.

  And it’s making things feel blurry. The right and wrong of things all mixing up together.

  But what is clear is how I feel about him.

  A lot.

  I feel a lot for Liam.

  And it scares me.

  I’m panting in his mouth, desperate and needy.

  His finger rubbing quickly over my clit, his hand on my breast, his cock up my ass…

  The orgasm explodes out of me. My whole body tightens to the point of pleasure and pain. My eyes close. I’ve never felt anything like this before.

  Ecstasy. It feels like pure ecstasy.

  Liam’s hold on me is firm. His movement slows while I come.

  His hand leaves my clit as my orgasm ebbs. He grabs ahold of my hip. His other hand comes across my chest, gripping ahold of my shoulder, and he starts moving. His pace is faster now, harder.

  “There’s nothing hotter than seeing you come,” he rasps into my ear. “You coming makes me come…”

  He groans, and then his teeth bite down on my lobe. I feel his body jerk against mine, and then his hips start pumping harder against me. I feel the flood of cum inside me. It’s the craziest sensation.

  But the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.

  Something else to add and check off my list.

  Ass sex.

  I’m trying to keep my thoughts light. Because Liam is wrapped around me and still inside me, his breath warm against my skin, his heart beating into my back, and my feelings for him are trying to cave in on me.

  The urge to tell him what he means to me is so close to the tip of my tongue. I can feel it burning the inside of my mouth.

  But I also know the damage saying those things would do.

  How no good would come from it.

  So, I lock those thoughts and feelings up, and I focus on the thought of the sex we just had. And, in my head, I turn it from the deep and meaningful thing that it was into something primal and hot.

  Fucking. Just fucking.

  “You okay, Boston?” He presses a soft kiss to the skin beneath my ear.

  “Yeah.” I glance back at him and smile. “I’m more than good.”

  He smiles, his teeth grazing over his lower lip. “I wish we could just stay like this forever,” he says softly.

  Forever.

  “My legs might go into serious cramp mode if we do.” I laugh.

  I laugh to turn it into a joke. Something less serious.

  Liam laughs, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll get something to clean you up.” He kisses me on the lips and then slowly pulls out of me.

  I feel the trickle down my thighs. I’m not sure what to do, but I figure, if I lie down, gravity might keep most of it in until Liam returns with some to clean me up with so that I make less of a mess on the bed.

  I let myself fall onto my front and relax into the softness of the mattress.

  I hear Liam’s deep laughter when he reenters the bedroom.

  “Comfy?” he asks.

  “Very.”

  And I lie there while Liam cleans me up with a cloth. I feel a little sting when he cleans around my ass, making me hiss.

  “Sore?” he asks.

  I can hear regret in his voice.

  I lift my head from the bed and look back at him. “Just a little. But it was more than worth it.”

  That earns me another snapshot smile.

  “I’ll just get rid of this.” He holds the cloth up.

  I watch him leave the room, and then I move up the bed. Turning onto my back, I shimmy the duvet down and snuggle beneath it.

  Liam smiles when he sees me. Then, he dives onto the bed beside me, making me squeal.

  He pulls the duvet out from beneath him and gets under the cover.

  We’re both on our backs, staring up at the ceiling.

  Liam lets out a breath. “I feel like I should get a badge or certificate or something. I just conquered Taylor Shaw’s arse. A place no man has been before. And, fuck, was it good.” He turns his head on the pillow to look at me. “I think I’m gonna have that put on my headstone when I die.”

  I frown at him. “Don’t talk about you dying so flippantly. Someone like you is meant to live forever.” The words are out before I can stop them.

  The look on his face…it burns through me.

  “And, anyway, with the way you’re going on, I’d think you’d never fucked a woman up the ass before.”

  There’s a pause before he answers.

  Please let it go. Let’s get back to jokey and light before I screwed it up.

  I almost exhale in relief when he says, “I haven’t fucked a woman up the arse before. Well, when I say that, I mean, I haven’t bum-fucked a woman like you before.”

  “Oh, yeah? And what’s different about me, compared to those other women you bum-fucked?”

  “Well, I didn’t have to pay you.” He grins. “Kidding.”

  He holds his hands up when I go to punch him.

  “I’ve never paid for sex—normal or bum fun—I promise.”

  “Okay.” I
lower my hand back down to the bed. “So, what’s different here with me?” I press.

  Why I’m pressing, I don’t know.

  Well, I do.

  It’s because I want to hear him tell me why I’m different. Even though I know no good can come of it. But my foolish heart is insisting on hearing him say whatever those words are.

  “Aside from the fact that you’re American?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Nothing.” He laughs. “I just like messing with you.”

  He slides an arm under my waist, tugging me closer. “Well, for starters, your arse was virgin, so that officially makes it mine. You never forget your first.” He tilts his head forward, pressing his forehead to mine. He shuts his eyes and exhales. “You’re mine, Boston, in every way that matters,” he whispers. “You’re different and perfect, and you’re mine.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips.

  Then, he just gets out of bed. Totally unaware that he’s just punched his fist into my chest, pulled out what was left of my heart, and carried it off with him.

  “I’m gonna take a shower, clean up properly, so I’m ready for round two. You wanna join me?”

  I force myself to come around, so I can respond to his words.

  I sit up, the duvet pooling around my waist. “Round two? We’re not doing ass sex again for at least a few days. I’m a little sore, remember?”

  Liam stops by the door. Hand on the frame, he looks back at me. “Of course I remember. I wasn’t talking about ass sex when I said round two. No, I was talking about your tits. They’re my next mountain to climb. I’m going to fuck the hell out of those beauties and then come all over them, so they look like snow-capped mountains.” He grins, and then he slips into the bathroom before I get a chance to respond.

  But if I’d had a chance to respond, all that would have come is laughter.

  Because that’s what Liam does.

  He sets my heart on fire, and he makes me laugh.

  And I’m pretty sure that I’m falling in love with him.

  I am falling in love with him.

  I’m falling in love with Liam. Or I’m already in love with him.

  Either way, I love him, and that realization sends me into a tailspin.

  I spent the rest of yesterday outwardly smiling and laughing while spending time with Liam and Bernie. But, on the inside, I was shredding myself to pieces.