Close to Home

by Janet Gover

  Jenny sounded so disappointed, it almost broke Finn’s heart. ‘Not quite. There’s still the grand parade at the end.’

  ‘But if your father’s mad at you …’

  ‘He won’t do anything in front of the audience.’ Finn almost shuddered when he thought of what would happen after the audience was gone, but this was Jenny’s night, and he was going to do everything he could to make it perfect for her. ‘Come on. Let’s get ready.’

  As the whole circus troupe made their final grand entrance into the big top, to thunderous applause and cheering, Finn avoided looking in his father’s direction. He held Jenny’s hand and encouraged her to take all the bows she could. Her school friends were screaming as they passed and her face was alive with joy. He knew it was a picture he would carry with him always.

  After they ducked through the curtains at the end of the parade, Finn made sure there were people around them, other artistes or Jenny’s friends, who came backstage to see her. He saw his father hovering on the edge of the crowds, watching him. The longer he delayed their confrontation, the worse it would be for him. But it was worth it for Jenny.

  Simon appeared. ‘Everyone—please come over to the big shed. There’s a Christmas feast waiting. It’s time for the thirteen desserts!’

  Finn allowed himself and Jenny to get swept up in the rush.

  Jenny squealed in delight as they entered the shed, which was a wonderland of light and colour. When it came to spectacle, Le Cirque Chevalier knew pretty much everything there was to know. The music system was already playing Christmas tunes, but the real highlights were the tables collapsing under the weight of the food. And in the centre, the pièce de résistance, as Madame would call it, the display of thirteen desserts.

  Everyone was crowding forward, exclaiming over the food and Finn and Jenny were separated as her eager friends surrounded her. He looked around and saw his father waiting in the doorway. With a quick glance at Jenny to make sure she wasn’t watching, he walked towards Ron. The longer he left it, the worse this would be. Ron backed out of the doorway as soon as he saw that Finn was coming. They went to a hidden corner some distance from the lights and the people.

  ‘What the fuck did you think you were doing?’ Ron was spitting with rage. ‘Going behind my back like that. You know how I feel about you wanting to do motorcycle stunts.’

  ‘Dad, I know, but we were careful. It was safe and—’

  ‘It was safe? That’s arguable. And that’s not my point, boy. I am ringmaster of this circus and nothing happens in that ring without my permission. Nothing, you understand?’

  In that his father was right.

  ‘And bringing that girl into it. Are you an idiot? She’s not one of us.’

  ‘But she—’

  The back of an open hand slamming into his face sent Finn crumbling to the ground before he could finish. His father stood over him, and Finn hunched his shoulders for whatever blow would come next.

  He looked past his father’s looming figure and saw Jenny standing there, a look of horror on her face. More than anything, he wished she didn’t have to witness this.

  Ron saw his look and spun around. ‘Get out of here, girl, this is none of your business.’

  ‘But you hit him!’ Her voice was quivering and Finn wasn’t sure if it was shock, disgust or fear.

  ‘I said get out of here.’ Ron took a step towards Jenny.

  Finn struggled to his feet. ‘You leave her alone.’

  His father barely looked his way as he knocked him down again.

  Jenny opened her mouth in a silent scream.

  ‘Go, Jenny. It’s all right.’ Finn forced the words through a jaw that wasn’t as painful as the ache in his soul.

  She hesitated. He nodded at her, wanting nothing more than for her to be out of the reach of his father’s temper and flying fists. With a tiny cry, Jenny turned and ran.

  ‘No party for you tonight. Get out of here. Stay away from that girl and if I see your face in that shed, there’ll be hell to pay.’

  Ron didn’t wait for an answer, he simply turned and walked away.

  Finn got to his feet and gave himself a few moments to stop shaking. He put his hand to his lips. It came away red with blood. Much as he needed Jenny, he didn’t want her to see him like this. He turned his back on the festivities and headed for the bunk wagon he shared with the Mancini brothers. Ron’s van hadn’t been his home since his mother had left.

  He’d had enough. He would never let Ron hit him again. He wasn’t sure how to make that happen, but he was done being his father’s whipping boy.

  ‘Here you go.’ Simon held out a plate. There were pieces of white and dark nougat on it.

  ‘Another of the thirteen desserts?’

  ‘Of course. The white nougat represents good and the black evil.’

  Meg took the plate, conscious as she did that the thin silk sleeve of her top didn’t quite hide the scar. To her, it seemed visible and very ugly, but Simon hadn’t commented on it. In fact, he hadn’t even seemed to notice it. She had been waiting for his eyes to linger on the puckered skin, yet they hadn’t. Not once.

  Meg picked up a piece of white nougat and took a bite. It was wonderful, as all the desserts had been. It wasn’t quite the calorific tidal wave she had expected, with nuts and dried fruits forming a significant portion of the meal. But there had been plenty of pastries as well, and the Yule log had been rather special.

  ‘I’m going to have to do some extra laps of the oval to rid myself of the calories.’

  He looked at her, his head tilted, and for the first time she felt a spark between them. ‘I don’t think so.’ He smiled a different smile to any she’d seen before, and the spark flared a little bit brighter.

  ‘What are you and Lucienne doing for Christmas tomorrow?’ She spoke quickly to cover her confusion.

  A shadow fell across his face, and she knew this Christmas was not going to be easy for him. ‘This is our main Christmas celebration—with the whole circus. After church tomorrow, we’ll be working hard to get the circus broken down and ready to go on the road. What about you?’

  ‘There’s a traditional town get-together after church. Alice Dwyer has invited me.’

  ‘That’s something like a royal command, isn’t it? I guess you’ll be going then.’

  Meg nodded. She would go. She was part of this community now, and needed to nurture those first seeds of trust and security she had found.

  Lucienne appeared at Simon’s elbow. She had changed from her costume, and looked both elegant and beautiful in a silver-grey dress. ‘Are you enjoying yourself, my dear?’

  ‘Yes, very much. Thank you. The circus was such fun. And your performance was just wonderful.’

  ‘Merci. Now, I am sorry to interrupt, but it has been a long day and it is time I retired. May I borrow my grandson for a short time to walk me to the house?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Are you all right, Grand-mère?’

  ‘Of course, chéri. I am just tired.’ She took his offered arm and said to Meg, ‘Merry Christmas, my dear. Don’t go away. Simon will return in just a few minutes, and I’m sure he’ll be looking for you.’

  Meg knew she was blushing as she impulsively kissed Lucienne on the cheek.

  ‘Goodnight. And merry Christmas.’

  Meg watched Simon as the two of them made their way through the crowd towards the shed doors, stopping every few seconds so that Lucienne could talk to people. She liked the way he cared for his grandmother. She liked the way he joked with the circus folk and the way he didn’t talk down to her students. But most of all, she liked the way everyone seemed to rely on him and feel safe around him. She liked the way she felt safe around him.

  Meg ate the second piece of nougat on the plate Simon had brought her and went outside into the warm night air, thinking to take a few minutes to process the sudden feelings towards Simon. It wasn’t much quieter outside, though for a few seconds the noise from inside the
shed ebbed and Meg heard someone crying.

  She cocked her head and listened intently. The noise from the party was masking the crying again, but she knew that out there in the darkness, someone was in pain. Someone was hurt. Meg hesitated for just one more second. She might have felt safe all evening, but someone out there clearly was not. She had to help.

  She turned away from the lights and the people and followed the sounds into the darkness. Her whole body was twitching with alarm as she stared into the shadows that loomed every time she moved. She was vulnerable here, and was just about to turn back when she heard the sobbing again. The cries of a young girl with a broken heart.

  ‘Jenny? Is that you?’

  The girl leaning against the tree didn’t hear her. Jenny’s face was hidden in her hands as she cried her heart out.

  ‘Jenny? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?’

  The girl jumped as if frightened, and when she looked at Meg with her tear-filled eyes, Meg saw something she had seen far too often in her own mirror. She held her arms out and Jenny flung herself into them, crying as if her tears would wash away a mountain of pain.

  ‘Jenny. Did someone touch you? It’s all right, you can tell me.’

  ‘Not me.’

  The words were muffled, but Meg felt relief wash over her. ‘If not you, then who?’

  ‘Finn.’ The word was like the cry of a wounded animal.

  Icy fear flowed down Meg’s spine. ‘Is he all right?’

  Jenny nodded.

  ‘Can you tell me what happened?’

  ‘His father—’ Between sobs, Jenny explained what had happened. As she did, her heaving shoulders started to relax. By the end of the story, she was almost still. She extricated herself from Meg’s hug and looked up at her with red, frightened eyes. ‘What should I do?’

  Meg understood that feeling of helplessness. ‘You should tell your parents.’

  ‘I can’t talk about this to them. They wouldn’t do anything. They’d say it was none of our business.’

  ‘What about Aunt Alice?’ There was one person who had probably never hesitated to jump in, even if a situation really was none of her business. Except that an adult hitting a child was everyone’s business.

  Jenny shook her head. ‘Aunt Alice hates the circus people. She’d say it was just what she expected from people like them. And if I told my parents or Aunt Alice, I’d never see Finn again. I’ve told you, Miss Walker. Can’t you do something?’

  Jenny was right. She had to do something. She couldn’t stand by while a boy was abused. But she knew only too well that even the best intentions can sometimes go horribly wrong.

  ‘You interfering bitch. Turning her against me. This was none of your business.’ The glint of light on a knife. A face contorted with rage. A man out for revenge—and pain. So much pain.

  She should call the police. Nyringa had a one-man police station. Reporting what was happening was the right thing to do.

  ‘I’m sorry, Miss Walker. I know he’s made threats, but there’s not a lot we can do. We might be able to increase foot patrols near the school in the afternoons, but we are stretched pretty thin. Just be careful.’

  ‘Miss Walker?’ Jenny’s voice sounded far away.

  A figure appears from the shadows along the school fence. She knows at once that it’s him. And today she has no car. She starts to run, hearing his footsteps get closer and closer. She can hear his breathing as he reaches for her, his strong fingers closing around her upper arm—

  Meg jumped as a hand touched her arm where the scar was burning into her flesh. Jenny was looking at her, wide eyed with concern.

  ‘Are you all right, Miss Walker?’

  ‘Yes. Yes. I was just—’ She couldn’t continue. This child didn’t need to know the reason Meg was struggling to help her. She needed to know she was safe and protected. Meg might never feel that way again, but in this moment, Jenny needed help.

  ‘Of course I’ll help, Jenny. We will figure out a way to help Finn, but right now, I think we need to get you home. I know your parents are here. We should go and find them.’

  ‘No. No. I don’t want them to see me like this. They’ll ask all sorts of questions. And besides, Aunt Alice came with them.’

  ‘How did you come, then?’

  ‘I told them I was going with Kate, then Finn picked me up on his bike.’

  Meg wasn’t about to lecture the girl for lying to her parents; now was not the time. ‘Can you go with Kate?’

  ‘I told her I was going back with Finn. She’s probably already gone.’

  ‘Well, you’re not going with Finn.’ There was no way Meg was leaving Jenny alone here. It would mean leaving without saying goodnight to Simon, but when she explained, she was sure he’d understand. ‘Come with me. I can drop you home. If we go now, we’ll get there ahead of your parents. That’ll give you time to calm down.’

  ‘Thanks, Miss Walker.’

  Neither of them spoke on the short drive home. Meg pulled up opposite Jenny’s house. There were lights on, but her parents’ car was not in the driveway.

  ‘I don’t think you should be alone right now. Do you want me to come in and stay with you?’ Meg wasn’t altogether sure that she didn’t need the company as much as Jenny did.

  ‘No. I’ll be fine. Thanks, Miss Walker. I want a chance to wash my face and—well—before Mum and Dad get home. I don’t want to worry them.’

  ‘You have to tell them what happened.’

  ‘I know, and I will. I just need some time. You know?’

  Meg did know. She watched as Jenny darted across the road and into the house, shutting the front door behind her. Meg reached for the ignition, but stopped. She couldn’t just drive away and leave Jenny. She hit the locks and turned her lights off. The night suddenly seemed very dark and threatening. Every fibre of her being screamed at her to go home. To run inside and lock the door. It took all her courage to stay where she was.

  About fifteen minutes later, she saw a car approaching. She recognised it as Jenny’s parents’ and, with a sob of relief, she started her own car and pulled away from the kerb. She didn’t speed getting back to her cottage, but only because the distance was so short there was no room for speed. When she parked in her driveway, she ran from her car to her front door, and when the lock slipped home, she realised she had been holding her breath.

  Gradually the tension left her body, and she began to think clearly.

  No child should have to witness what Jenny had seen tonight. No child should have to suffer what Finn was living with, probably on a daily basis. Such violence was inexcusable. No-one knew better than Meg the effect something like that could have on the psyche. Ignoring the warning voices in her head, she knew she would have to find a way to help them, even if she found herself in harm’s way again.

  CHAPTER

  28

  Christmas Day was a disaster, as Alice had known it would be.

  When she arrived at church for the morning service, she found most of the town there, as expected, but the atmosphere just wasn’t right for a Christmas service. People were lethargic and quiet, tired and possibly hung over after the late night at the circus. A few of the circus people had turned up, and it appeared people wanted to talk to them—not to her. Feeling somewhat put out, Alice didn’t linger after the service, but went straight to the hall, where the town lunch was to be held. Everyone came carrying an offering for the buffet table. As always, Alice had prepared her special cake. She was annoyed to see that a lot of people passed it over in favour of those ridiculous pastries brought by Karen from the bakery. And everywhere she went, Alice kept hearing the same thing over and over again.

  ‘Wasn’t last night wonderful?’

  ‘It was such a fabulous show.’

  ‘Imagine performing like that at her age. She’s marvellous.’

  ‘Jenny was good too. She looked like a natural.’

  Her niece did appear at the lunch, but only briefly. She looked pale and sad a
nd was gone before Alice could speak to her. Alice hoped that once the circus was gone, Jenny would soon be back to her normal self.

  She went to bed early that night, probably the only person looking forward to seeing the circus drive away.

  When the circus left town on Boxing Day morning, most of the people in Nyringa and the closest properties lined the street to wave as the gaily painted vans and trucks drove past. Alice went too, but she didn’t wave. She told herself she was just there to make sure they all left. She only wished that woman was going with them, and taking her feathered fan and thirteen desserts and inappropriate dresses with her.

  The ringmaster’s truck led the procession, although the man behind the wheel barely acknowledged the crowd. From the open windows of the vehicles that followed, smiling men and women waved their goodbyes. A cheer went up as a pair of motorcycles roared down the street. Alice leaned forward for a better look. Was it that boy? Finn? The two motorcycles paused in front of the crowded park in the middle of the town. The riders removed their helmets. Neither was that boy. It was the two who had performed the motorcycle stunts. Dangerous stunts, but, Alice had to admit, exciting ones. A group of the older school kids were clustered around the motorcycles, talking to the riders. Jenny wasn’t among them. Where was she?

  Not that the girl would do anything foolish. She was too smart for that. Still, it was a little worrying that the boy and Jenny weren’t here.

  At that moment, a large truck pulled up behind the two lads on their bikes. Alice couldn’t see who was driving, but she could clearly see who was in the passenger seat. Finn. Good. He was leaving as planned. There was some shuffling in the group of teenagers on the side of the road, and suddenly Jenny darted onto the street. She placed one foot on the step of the truck and lifted herself up to the window. She said something to the boy, then kissed him. A cheer went up from the crowd as she jumped down and stood by the side of the road. The truck drove on and Jenny raised her arm and waved goodbye.

  Alice had been where Jenny was, once: standing beside a road watching a circus drive away. Watching the boy she loved drive away. She had never really left that moment behind, and she wondered if Jenny ever would. A part of her wanted to grab Jenny and tell her to go. To race after that truck and climb in beside the boy. Part of her wanted to say throw caution to the wind and go and live your adventure. You may not ever get another chance.