by Lexi Blake
Zep shook his handsome head. “No one’s going to call you Nurse Practitioner Daley. It’s too long. And I will find another way to defend you, then. I can come up with all sorts of ways to annoy the shit out of the sheriff. You can’t leave. We need you. I recently realized that having a member of the medical community in the family is important. If I get a bad hangover, I can pop into the clinic and you’ll rehydrate me. Also, I can get you to write me a note about passing my STI tests. It cuts out a whole bunch of steps.”
At least there was still someone who could make her smile, even if it was because he was such a dumbass. “I’ll write you that note. You should laminate it. But I have to consider that it might be hard to practice in this town. Remy, please don’t say anything. I don’t want to make this into some kind of feud. In a day or two, I’ll talk to him. I’ll promise to stay out of his way and be professional when we do cross paths.”
Remy frowned. “In a few days, he’s going to realize he’s been an idiot and he’ll come around. Are you ready for that?”
She wasn’t ready to think about anything beyond getting into bed and going to sleep. If she could get to sleep. “I don’t think so. Even if he did, it would only be a matter of time before I did something to annoy him again.”
Looking back, she could see that it had only been the accident that saved them the first time. She’d embarrassed him in the diner that day, and only the town coming to see her as heroic had changed his mind. If it hadn’t happened, they wouldn’t have gone on. It might have been better because it wouldn’t be so hard to work with him now.
“I’ll go get your things,” Lisa promised.
“No, I’ll do it.” Zep nodded Lisa’s way. “If I let you do it, you’ll probably end up in jail because you can be mean when you want to. Remy would definitely end up in jail. He promised Armie an ass kicking if he hurt you, and my brother always follows through. Turns out I’m the reasonable one here. Who would have thought?”
Certainly none of the three of them. “I’ll text and let him know you’re coming. Thank you. It’s a single bag and Peanut’s stuff. Not much at all.”
She didn’t have much, and it looked like that wasn’t changing anytime soon.
“I think what the two of you need is a bottle of wine and some of the best tater tots you’ll ever have. At least that’s what my cook claims.” Remy gave her a half smile. “You want it up here or you want to go out on the patio? It’s nearly empty and the water is pretty this time of day. I think Otis is hanging out.”
Wine and gators. “Sure. The patio sounds lovely. Give me a minute and I’ll come down. Thank you for letting me stay here. I could stay at the clinic, but this is nicer.”
“That’s not saying much, ma soeur,” Remy replied. “But you’re always welcome. And I hope you’ll seriously consider staying in town even though the sheriff is an ass. Sometimes men are dumb creatures and we need time to sort things out.”
Remy walked out and Zep followed, giving her a salute with his bandaged hand.
The door closed and she was left alone again with her sister and her dog.
Lisa was quiet for a moment. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
She nodded. “I know.”
But inside, the pain . . . god, the pain. He was gone. He probably hated her. He thought she’d intended to hurt his daughter. That was the worst part. He wasn’t out there worrying about her. He was out there hating her, and she missed him. She already missed him.
Lisa walked up and put her arms around Lila. “Don’t make old mistakes. Let it out. Let me be here for you. Don’t hold this in and pretend like it’s okay. Let me call Laurel and put her on video chat, and let us take care of you for once. You loved him. It’s not wrong to admit it. Please don’t hold this in. If you honestly are this calm, that’s fine. It’s good. But if you need to cry, don’t hide it. No one is going to come and take us away. Do you think I don’t know how hard it was for you and Will? I know. Let me be strong for you for once. Please let me pay this back. And yes, I’m making this all about me because I am afraid you won’t ever let anything just be about you.”
Her sister’s kindness worked where Armie’s coldness hadn’t. It was true. She held things in, a remnant of childhood, but one she didn’t need anymore. She was never going to be the woman who cried at everything, but some things were worth tears.
Her love was worth a few.
“I loved him. I never . . .” The words wouldn’t come.
Lisa held her tight. “You never met anyone like him. I know. It’s okay.”
Lila let go, let her sister comfort her. The tears she’d held in all day finally flowed.
He was gone and so was a large piece of her heart.
* * *
• • •
Armie felt like he was a zombie. He was moving, saying all the things he should say, but he couldn’t quite feel anything. He’d gotten Noelle in the car, driven home, stayed calm, but he felt like he was still stuck in that moment when he’d realized he was going to have to leave Lila.
He already missed her.
He had to focus on his daughter. She was the one who needed him.
“Do you want something to eat? I can call in pizza.” He knew he should make something healthy, but if he opened the refrigerator, he would see what Lila had planned to cook for them. It would be sitting there, prepped and ready to go because his girlfriend was incredibly organized.
Not his girlfriend, and that was the stupidest word. She wasn’t a girl, and she was so much more than a friend. His lover. His companion. His every waking thought and comfort.
How had it gone so fucking wrong? He’d thought Noelle was safe with Lila. It had been the biggest relief that someone had been there to support him, to partner with him. He could work the night shift without worrying every second. He could trust her when Noelle needed a ride somewhere.
Do you want the rest of the world to wait on you hand and foot? That sounds awfully easy.
Nothing about the last year had been easy on either of them. Noelle needed someone who would support her, not yell at her.
Like your dad yelled at you when you spent too much time chasing girls in high school and none on your homework? He’d been hard as hell on you and you thanked that old man for making you go to college. You would be working at a fast food place if it hadn’t been for him kicking your ass.
His father. He’d been the tough-love king. But Noelle didn’t need that. She didn’t.
“I’m not hungry.” She sat at the table as quiet as she’d been during the car ride home. She’d cried, but silently, and it made him all the angrier.
How could he not have seen it? “Has she always been that mean to you?”
She turned her head, looking up at him, her eyes red from crying. “No. Not at all. Dad, we were arguing. She was pushing me, and I didn’t want to do it.”
“She had no right to talk to you that way.”
“She was being a bitch, but I was, too.”
It didn’t matter what Noelle had done. “She’s the adult and I doubt very much you were being a . . . I don’t want you to use that language.”
Noelle’s hands fisted, her body going taut. “I’m sixteen. I’m almost seventeen, Dad. I assure you, I use that language a lot. Can’t we talk to her? Maybe if we talk to her she’ll be okay with the fact that I’m going to be in this chair for the rest of my life. I know she’s trying to help.”
Was she? He’d thought she was. But if that was how she helped, then she had no place in his home. He had to take care of Noelle, and that meant being supportive.
Can’t you see it’s not normal for her to never fight with anyone? She’s afraid to fight even for herself.
Was Noelle’s passiveness normal? She’d always been a quiet, studious girl, but after the divorce she’d never fought with him. Not once. He’d always thought
he was lucky, but what if it wasn’t that she thought he was always right? What if her willingness to go along with what he wanted was because she was afraid of what might happen if she caused waves?
“You’re happy here, right, sweetheart?”
The tension left her body with a long sigh, like a cord had been cut. “Of course.”
“It must have been weird to have to move here after your mom passed.”
“Dad, I like it here.”
Lila was wrong. Lila didn’t understand what it meant to have a child with disabilities. She didn’t know what it meant to worry about a kid, to have everything he did affect his daughter’s life.
There was a knock on the door and he glanced at the bag he’d packed. When Remy had called, he’d forced himself to gather Lila’s things and place them in a paper shopping bag. Her things. God, there were so few of them. He’d kicked her out with so little. She had a couple of changes of clothes, some flip-flops, a sad amount of feminine things. He hadn’t had time to take her shopping, and she hadn’t once complained. She’d merely borrowed from Noelle and joked about how when the insurance money came in, she and Noelle would tear through some stores.
Had it all been a lie?
He was not looking forward to this confrontation. Remy didn’t have kids, either. Not yet. Remy would only care about the fact that Lila had been hurt. There was no question in his mind that he’d hurt her. It had been there in the startled look on her face, but she hadn’t cried. No. She would bottle that up and there wouldn’t be anyone there for her to wrap herself around and share that secret soft part of herself with.
He opened the door and practically breathed a sigh of relief.
Zep stood in the doorway, that perpetually amused look on his face. “Hey, I’m here to grab Lila’s stuff.” He walked in when Armie stepped aside. “Hey, Noelle. How’s it going?”
Noelle moved from the table, wheeling into the living room. “How is she?”
“How’s who? Oh, Lila.” Zep shrugged. “You know me. I’m not good at reading women. If I was, I would get tossed in jail way less than I do because I would remember not to sleep with deputies.”
“Zep!” Armie was fairly certain Roxie wouldn’t want that one-night transgression to get out around town.
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows, Dad. And everyone knows Roxie’s still got a thing for him and hates herself because of it. I want to know about Lila. Does she hate me?”
He needed to make something very plain to his daughter. “This was not your fault. None of this is your fault. Why don’t you go and pick out a movie and I’ll order pizza.”
For a second he saw something flash in Noelle’s eyes. Then she shut down, her gaze going tired. “I have a project to work on. I’ll be in my room.”
Damn it. He had to give her time. He needed time, too. Lila had come in like a storm and she’d left like one, leaving a mess in her wake.
She didn’t leave. You kicked her out. She could be here right now, discussing the situation, if you had taken the time to cool off before giving her ultimatums.
He wasn’t listening to his inner voice right now. His subconscious was looking for any excuse to forgive her and bring her back. It was selfish. He wanted her for himself. It had been all right when she’d been what was best for Noelle, too, but today had proven that instinct wrong.
He walked to the counter where he’d put her bag of personal items and the other brown paper bag he’d used to gather the dog’s things, and guilt sliced through him. He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling guilty about—asking Lila to leave or the fact that he’d brought her into their home in the first place.
“She’ll be fine,” Zep said, glancing around. “Don’t worry about Lila. She’s strong.”
“Yes, she is.” She had a forceful personality. It had sometimes rubbed the wrong way, but oh, when they were in sync he’d never felt better about life.
“She’s got her job. She’s very invested in that clinic of hers. I personally am happy to have her there.”
Armie nodded and wished that Zep would get out so he could sit and brood and try to put his life back together.
Zep’s brows rose. “She does still have a job, right?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m real bad at eavesdropping and by bad, I really mean good. I overheard Lila asking Lisa if she thought you would try to run her out of town.”
She thought that? “Why would I . . . I wouldn’t deprive the town of a medical professional so I didn’t have to deal with my ex-girlfriend.”
“Good, because I think she’s worried you’ll do that.”
“I’ve never given her reason to think I would be cruel to her.”
Zep nodded. “Yeah, well, sometimes things aren’t the way they seem to be. Not that I know much, but there was this perception thing I remember from high school. I was just thinking about that for some reason. I guess she has the wrong perception of you.”
“She definitely does if she thinks I’m going to run her out of town.” That was ridiculous. He’d never done a single thing that should make her think he was that kind of man. Sure, he could be short, and when he was working he used a different tone of voice. He had to. “I’m the sheriff. I have to be intimidating on some level, but I’ve never tried to intimidate her.”
“You can be intimidating even when you’re not trying,” Zep replied. “I should know.”
Zep turned and Armie meant to let him go. He meant to let him walk out that door and not say another word.
“Is she really all right?” He had to know.
Zep held both bags in one hand. “She’s sad. I think she thought you were the one. I don’t get that, either. I don’t think there’s some mystical ‘one’ out there, but it’s obvious she thought you were special. I’ve never seen that woman cry. Still haven’t, but I heard her.”
“She cried?” Armie hated the thought that she’d cried. She kept her emotions so private, controlling them always except when she was alone with him.
“I think Lisa convinced her it was okay to. She needed it.” Zep gave him a friendly slap on the arm. “So, there you go, Sheriff. You don’t have to feel bad. She’s cried, and when I left she and Lisa were going out to the patio to have some wine and probably talk about what an asshole you are. She’s already well on her way to moving on. You’re lucky. Lila isn’t the kind to try to cling to a man. She won’t come running to you, begging you to take her back. You caught a break with that one. Got away clean.”
“I wasn’t trying to get away from her.”
A brow rose over Zep’s eye. “So you’re the one who’s going to be clingy?”
“No. I told you. It didn’t work out. I was only trying to explain that I didn’t wake up this morning planning on breaking up with her.”
“Oh, I thought maybe you realized you didn’t like living with her,” Zep commented. “I know you’re, like, an old guy and stuff, and old guys like to settle down. I thought you figured out she wasn’t good at the whole keeping a house thing.”
“I wasn’t interested in her keeping my house.” Though she’d done it far better than he did. He could keep the place clean, but Lila had come in and organized things, kept them to a good schedule so he wasn’t rushing out of the house every morning. She’d started trying to teach Noelle how to cook. Although Noelle had said she couldn’t do it.
It was dangerous. His stove was gas and it wasn’t built for a young woman in a wheelchair. So was she never going to cook? That would be hard. The world wouldn’t change to accommodate her. She would have to adapt. Adaptation was necessary to a good life. He’d had to adapt. Everyone had to adapt.
“Sorry,” Zep said, sounding anything but apologetic. “Didn’t mean to offend. Like I said, I don’t understand this whole romance thing. Sex, I understand, but from the way that woman was
crying, I suspect this was about more than sex.”
“Not that this is your business, but we had a disagreement about how to deal with my daughter.”
“Oh, god, if I don’t understand the romance thing, I definitely don’t get the kids thing. I will get these back to Lila.” He stopped at the door. “I shouldn’t ask this, but I am confused. So you wanted her to have a relationship with Noelle? Or you didn’t?”
“Of course I wanted her to have a relationship with Noelle. I can’t be with a woman who doesn’t have a relationship with my daughter. I guess I thought Lila would want to be a mother figure to her. I was wrong.” Because mothers weren’t tough on their kids.
His had been. His had been a righteous warrior woman, raining hell down on him when he’d needed it.
But she wouldn’t have said those things to him if he’d been in a wheelchair. If he’d had everything taken from him, his mother would have been loving and kind.
Zep leaned against the door. “Oh. So she ignored Noelle? That doesn’t seem nice.”
“She didn’t ignore her. She was mean to her.”
“That also doesn’t sound like Lila,” Zep mused. “She’s sarcastic and a little cold, but she’s not even mean to me. Oh, she’ll offer up an ass kicking, but she’s only watching out for me. Doctors can be that way. I have found that the entire medical profession can be way too honest with a man. Not always easy to hear, but necessary. But what do I know, man? Hey, I’m going to a friend’s bachelor party next Friday. Could you stock up on Dr Pepper? I need one in the morning, and we both know I’ll end up in jail. Night, Sheriff.”
Zep closed the door behind him and Armie was left knowing exactly how alone he was.
chapter sixteen
“I got a call and the sheriff is bringing in someone,” Mabel said four days later. “Apparently there was an incident on the highway and he needs a blood draw. The driver won’t take a breath test. He did, however, fail the field sobriety test by falling into the bayou and twisting his ankle.”
