Butterfly Bayou

by Lexi Blake

  Armie frowned Rene’s way because Rene’s leg was currently in a cast, propped up on a stool. “Aren’t you on painkillers?”

  He was certain Lila wouldn’t like the fact that her patient was drinking and taking narcotics.

  Rene waved him off. “I got off those things days ago. I’m probably going to wish I hadn’t when I get through my first therapy session, but for now I’m feeling pretty good.”

  Quaid leaned in. “You’ll feel better when we sue.”

  Rene groaned. “I’m not suing Janice Herbert. It’s bad enough that she’s got her Bible study group coming here once a day to pray for me. I can’t imagine what those women would do if I sued her.” Rene raked the pot and took a sip of his Scotch. “Where’s Noelle tonight?”

  “She’s got Beth spending the night with her.” He rarely left Noelle alone. Had Noelle been by herself for more than a few minutes since the accident? She used to crave that time. Even as a child she’d been the kid who would sit in her room for hours reading books. Now he was terrified something would go wrong and she wouldn’t be able to take care of herself.

  “I heard Beth is rebelling.” Major chuckled as he passed Quaid his beer.

  Quaid slapped at the table with a wide smile. “Her daddy asked me if he can legally block her from leaving the state. I told him that he would have to make a deal with his boss because the court is going to rule against him incarcerating his daughter in their home so she can’t go to college.”

  “Why wouldn’t he want her to go to college?” Armie asked.

  “Ah, it’s not college Marge and Hank have a problem with. It’s the fact that Beth got a scholarship to UCLA that has them up in arms,” Quaid explained. “He’s absolutely certain that the minute Beth steps foot in California she’ll either be murdered or join a cult.”

  “Good for Beth,” Remy said with a nod. “It’s important to get out and see the world. Where’s Noelle thinking of going for college?”

  Why did everyone ask him that damn question? “She’s looking at some schools. I think she’s going to study business.”

  “Really? I thought she liked science,” Rene mused. “I seem to remember you always talking about how crazy she was about chemistry. Wasn’t she in AP Chemistry before the accident? Was she able to finish that up?”

  “She decided to go another way.” He’d been surprised because her school offered it as a course. He’d figured she had enough to deal with and he hadn’t fought her on it.

  “All that work and she didn’t finish?” Remy asked.

  “She was going through a lot at the time.” And he’d been dealing with it, too. Was it time to stop merely trying to get through a day and start worrying about the future? “I’m surprised Beth would even think about going to California. She’s so close to her family.”

  Quaid shrugged. “She wants to see the world.”

  “Has she ever been on a plane?” Beth was as sheltered as Noelle.

  “She’s got to start somewhere. I think I might need to set up a scholarship fund.” Rene glanced over at Quaid. “Hey, when Hank sues me for paying his daughter’s travel expenses, you can defend me. Now, why don’t you and Major go and grab that tray of sandwiches the housekeeper left for us? I think she left some sweets, too. She told me boys need fuel when they’re playing. Her sarcasm is sharpening with age.”

  Armie started to push his chair back. “I’ll go.”

  Rene held up a hand. “No, I’m sending them off because I’d like to have a chat with you and Remy.”

  Major sent him a sympathetic look as he stood, but Quaid couldn’t seem to get out fast enough.

  “Come on, friend. I happen to know where Rene stashes the cigars,” Quaid offered.

  Rene shook his head. “I never should have shown him the humidor.”

  “What do you need?” Remy asked once they had left. “Is the leg bothering you?”

  “The leg aches every day and I loathe and despise not being on my feet, but that’s not what I want to talk about. I need to know if the two of you are okay with each other. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t need to know, but it’s obvious Armie is no longer dating Lila Daley. I know Remy likes to protect the female members of his family in some barbaric ways.”

  “I don’t call them barbaric. Maybe my justice is biblical, but it’s also effective.” Remy turned to Armie. “Armie and I are fine. Lila explained that it wasn’t a good fit, and as long as he treats her with respect, we won’t have any trouble. Hey, not every relationship works.”

  But theirs had. It seemed to work beautifully, except that one problem. “I’m not going to do anything to hurt her. We didn’t break up because we didn’t care about one another. If she ever needs anything, I’ll be there.”

  Rene nodded. “Excellent. I wanted to let you both know that I intend to ask Ms. Daley out. The accident taught me something. I’m not getting any younger and that woman is a damn rock. I’d like very much to see if we’re compatible.”

  “No.” The word came out of his mouth before he was smart enough to stop it. He didn’t have any right to tell Rene he couldn’t go after Lila. He’d always known Rene was a better match. Rene was younger than he was, didn’t have children. Wanted children.

  Except he’d dreamed the night before of what it would be like to have it all again, with the right woman this time. He’d married his ex-wife because she’d been pregnant. Having children with Lila would be a deliberate act of will.

  An act of hope.

  What would it be like to raise a couple of kids he got to see every single day? To raise them with a woman he truly loved? He adored his daughter, but he’d missed so much by being her weekend father.

  It was pure bad timing that the minute he lost Lila was also the minute he knew he wanted that family.

  “I’m sorry, what does that mean?” Rene was staring at him.

  “I’d like to understand that myself.” Remy frowned his way. “I wasn’t happy with how you treated Lila, but I understand that she can be a handful. She also told me I wasn’t allowed to punch you, so tread carefully because I’ll ignore that if you annoy me.”

  He didn’t have the right to tell Rene no, but he did have some questions. “I don’t like the idea of you deciding it’s time for you to settle down and picking Lila because she’s standing in front of you. She deserves more than that.”

  Rene watched him with shrewd eyes. “She was standing in front of me saving my life. It wasn’t like she was a random pretty lady I decided to choose because I was bored. She was a damn warrior. Even as I was bleeding out on that street I was thinking about how amazing she was. As I sat in that hospital I came up with all the ways I was going to seduce her. Imagine my surprise when I got home and all the talk was about how the sheriff had made his move.”

  He didn’t like how passionate Rene sounded about Lila. But then, who wouldn’t be? She was complex and difficult and worth every bit of trouble.

  “Armie, it’s obvious you miss her,” Remy said quietly. “I know it’s hard to apologize when you’re wrong, but trust me, it works. Groveling is something we all do.”

  It wasn’t that simple. “She doesn’t get along with my daughter.”

  “Lila loves Noelle,” Remy said gravely. “I’m struggling to understand this. She’s crying every night. You’re obviously upset.”

  “What went wrong?” Rene asked. “There’s no gossip, and that tells me you’re both playing this close to the vest, but I want to know because I think I could care about her. I know I care about you. Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t go after her.”

  “I can’t,” he replied. “If you’re smart, you’ll chase after that woman and raise a family with her because I think one day she’ll be an amazing mom. Maybe she just has to go through it for herself.”

  “Lila’s been through it. Lila was raising kids when she was a k
id,” Remy pointed out. “That’s why she and Lisa have a somewhat contentious relationship. You know Lila was in charge of that household when she was ten years old, right? Her brother did a lot, but he left her in charge of Laurel and Lisa.”

  They didn’t understand. “I have to think about Noelle. I’m stuck in a bad place. The reason for the disagreement is that Noelle thinks Lila is pushing her too hard on the rehab training.”

  “What do you think?” Remy asked.

  “I don’t know what to think. In the moment I was upset that she was talking to Noelle like an angry football coach. Now I worry I’ve missed something and I need to get a second opinion on Noelle’s condition. But if I do that, I worry that I would be giving Noelle false hope. I hate this. I hate that I don’t know what I’m doing. I hate that I’m alone in this.”

  “It doesn’t sound like you are,” Rene pointed out. “At least you weren’t. It sounds like Lila was taking charge in a place where she knows more than you do.”

  He shook his head. “You weren’t there. You didn’t have to watch your girlfriend make your daughter cry. I have to put Noelle above everything else.”

  “It sounds like Lila was doing that, too.” Remy had his arms crossed over his chest. “Do you think she didn’t understand this could go sideways? She knew how touchy you are about Noelle.”

  “I’m not touchy. Okay, if I’m touchy it’s because she’s fragile. She lost everything in that accident.” He wasn’t sure why he was defending himself. “I don’t know what her future holds. I only know that I have to make life as comfortable for her as possible, and Lila disagrees with me. She seems to think that I should drop my daughter off in Austin and not look back.”

  Remy chuckled. “Somehow I don’t see that. Lila wants Noelle to have as much of a life as she possibly can. No one ever got anything done because they were comfortable. Comfort is something you earn later in life.”

  “She earned it by surviving,” Armie insisted.

  Rene shook his head, leaning back. “Wow, it’s interesting how different our reactions can be. I was laying there bleeding out on that concrete and all I could think about was getting another couple of moments, another few days. I’ve been comfortable and it’s held me back. Time is a funny thing. It seems long and never-ending in the beginning, and then you realize it’s gone by in a flash and you can’t ever get it back. I worry Noelle is too young to understand that. Can I ask you a question?”

  “You’ve asked me plenty. What’s one more?” He was sure whatever it was would make him look like an idiot. The last few days of his life had been one long session of self-doubt. This was what he truly resented about what Lila had done. His life had seemed calmer. It had normalized. Then she’d walked in and shaken it all up, and he didn’t like where he’d landed.

  “Will you be satisfied with the job you’ve done as a parent if Noelle gives up her dreams?” Rene leaned forward. “I outfitted this town to make her life easier. I didn’t do it so she would never leave and you wouldn’t ever have to worry about her again.”

  Would he be satisfied if Noelle never tried? What was his job? Since the accident it seemed like it had been about protecting her from everything and anyone who might possibly hurt her. Was he protecting her from a future, too?

  “You seem to think Lila was pushing her out,” Remy said, his voice softer than before. “But what if she was merely trying to push you all forward? You’ve been looking for someone who would get along with your daughter, someone who would make your life easier.”

  That wasn’t what he’d been looking for at all. “I just wanted someone I could care about.”

  “You need to want more, brother,” Remy replied. “You need to want to love a woman, and that is neither comfortable nor easy. When it’s real love, it’s hard and you’re going to fight, and if you’re in love with a woman like Lila Daley, she’s going to push. You should want a woman who loves you and your family enough to put it all on the line, and that’s what she did. I’ve known my sister-in-law for a while. I knew her before she was nearly killed in that ER. Trauma like that can make or break a person. Lila chose to move forward. She chose to change, but in ways that made her stronger. I’m proud to be her brother-in-law. And what she’s trying to do for Noelle isn’t selfish. It’s the opposite. If you can’t see that, then you’re the one with the problem, and that’s my tough love for you. We’ve been friends for years, Armie. I knew the minute Lila decided to take over the clinic here that you and she would spark off each other. I knew you would either hate each other, or you might find something special. You both went through something terrible, but she’s ready and you’re not.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means you’re still stuck in that moment when you realized you could lose your daughter, and now you’ve wrapped a cocoon around her and she’s going along with it, but that cocoon is either going to stifle her or hold her back. Sometimes you have to be tough with the ones you love so they can reach their full potential. That’s what Lila was trying to do. She wasn’t being a bitch, man. She was being a mother.”

  Armie’s heart seized up at the thought. Was he holding Noelle back? Was his guilt costing them the one woman who might make both their lives complete?

  “I’ll talk to her. I’m miserable without her, but I don’t know that she’ll want me again.” It was his fear.

  “You should understand that if this doesn’t work out, I’m taking my shot with her,” Rene vowed. “I’ll give you a couple of weeks, but when I’m walking again, if you’re not with her, I’m going to try.”

  He was on a clock. He had to figure it out or he could lose it all.

  “All right, then.” Rene glanced around. “Where are those sandwiches? Let’s play some poker, boys.”

  Armie sat back. The game didn’t matter, but he would have to make the biggest gamble of his life.

  On her. On them.

  chapter seventeen

  Lila watched as Noelle stared at the parallel bars. She’d stood in the background, hopeful that the last session had taught Noelle something, but it was apparent that all it had taught her was she could get away with not trying.

  Awesome.

  Noelle looked up at Tanya and shook her head. She’d been completely willing to do all the upper-body exercises, all the stretching that was part of her therapy. She’d chatted happily while attached to the TENS unit. Then they’d gotten to the bars and Noelle had completely shut down.

  Lila was left with the distinctly crappy choice between walking away or getting into more trouble. She’d avoided Noelle’s father for three days. It had been fairly easy. He was on night shift for two of the days and she’d taken off the other, choosing to be on call. She wasn’t sure what was up with Armie but suddenly he wanted to talk, and that hadn’t worked for them before.

  The truth was she’d done a hell of a lot of soul-searching and she couldn’t do this again. He wanted to talk because he missed her. She missed him, too, but she couldn’t trust him. The next time they clashed—and they would—she would get her heart ripped out again.

  That clash was coming sooner than any of them suspected. It was coming right now.

  If Noelle didn’t choose to try soon, there would be no reason for her to try. Armie wasn’t thinking. He was reacting to something terrible that had happened, but Noelle didn’t have time for things to normalize. Her time was running out.

  If she did this, she might be risking her job.

  But if she didn’t do this, she wouldn’t be doing her job.

  She stepped out and nodded Tanya’s way. “I’ll take it from here.”

  Noelle’s eyes widened, but she didn’t see fear or anger in there. “Lila. I’m glad to see you. I thought about calling you a hundred times. I’m so sorry about what happened.”

  “I’m sorry, too.” She wished it had ended on a better note. Well, she wished i
t hadn’t ended at all. She still couldn’t sleep without dreaming about Armie. And beyond Armie, she missed Noelle, but there were some things worth fighting for, some things worth losing it all over. “Now let’s get you up on the bars.”

  Noelle sighed, a frustrated sound. “That wasn’t what I meant.”

  She braced herself for the fight. “I know, but it’s what you’re going to do. I didn’t come here today to try to talk you into asking your father for a second chance. I came here because I believe in you. Just because your father gave up on me doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you. Do you understand me? I’m going to be here for every session until he gets a restraining order. I’m not going away until I’m forced to, and you are going to get on those bars and do what I tell you to do.”

  Her face had flushed and she gripped the arms of her chair. “Why? Why is it so important to you that I walk? Why can’t you like me as I am?”

  She had to wonder how often this tactic had worked for Noelle. “That’s not going to work on me. I love you and that’s why I’m not giving up. Sometimes when you love someone you risk everything for them—even your relationship. I will not let a soft heart cost you years of your life. Tell me why you don’t want to walk.”

  “Are you fucking with me?”

  It was the realest thing that had come out of that child’s mouth in weeks. “No. I am not fucking with you. You won’t try so I assume you don’t want to walk.”

  It was obvious anger was starting to bubble up in Noelle. “Of course I want to walk.”

  Anger could be an excellent motivator. “Good. Then let me help you up.”

  “Fuck you.”

  This was what Noelle needed. A foe to defeat. “Yes. Fuck me. Now we’re going to get up. Tell me what you’re afraid of. Because if it’s falling, don’t be afraid of that. It will happen, and guess what? We’ll try it again and I will be right there with you. I will be there for you to fall on.”