The Understructure of Writing for Film and Television
Page 8
INTERCUT A SERIES OF SHOTS OF TED KRAMER
during his hectic day at the office, wheeling and dealing, laughing and joking at a business lunch, etc. All motion, noise, color. . . . [The SHOTS OF JOANNA KRAMER SHOW her continuing to stare] straight ahead, always silent, her expression never changes.
INT. O’CONNOR’S OFFICE, AD AGENCY (EST) [DAY]
O’CONNOR stands behind his desk, a number of rough layouts spread out in front of him. TED stands in front of the desk, watching nervously. Scattered around the office are six or seven ‘regulars’ including PHYLLIS BERNARD.
There is a BEAT of silence as O’Connor studies the layouts.
O’CONNOR
I like it . . .
(then)
I love it . . .
(then)
(MORE)
O’CONNOR (CONT’D)
It’s fabulous . . .
(to Ted)
Okay, Ted, you got it . . .
(to the rest)
All right. Hold it down . . . Hold it down. I think everybody here ought to know I’m putting Ted Kramer on the Northern Airlines account.
There are general cheers and good-natured jokes. A couple of people start to yell “SPEECH.”
TED
(embarrassed, but he can’t stop grinning)
All I can say . . . All I can say is this is maybe one of the five best days in my whole life.
INT. CHILD’S ROOM, KRAMER APT. NIGHT
The room is dark, the only light coming from a small night light.
We SEE a beautiful five-year-old boy, BILLY KRAMER. He lies in bed, half asleep, HOLD FOR A BEAT as a beautiful woman, JOANNA KRAMER, leans over, kisses the child and hugs him tightly to her.
JOANNA
(intense)
I love you, Billy . . .
BILLY
(drowsy)
I love you too, Mommy . . .
Goodnight . . .
ON JOANNA
as she gets up from the bed and starts toward the door of Billy’s room.
JOANNA
Sleep tight . . .
BILLY
Don’t let the bedbugs bite . . .
Joanna stops in the doorway, silhouetted against the light. She turns, takes a last look at her son, then steps outside.
INT. HALLWAY [NIGHT]
Now that the light is brighter, we can SEE Joanna more clearly. In her mid-thirties, she is beautiful, dressed in a style that can best be described as Bloomingdale’s. HOLD FOR A BEAT as she leans against the door. It is clear from her expression that she is terribly upset. Then, making up her mind, she crosses to a closet and takes out a suitcase. . . . [FOLLOW HER] as she carries it into the bedroom, lays it out on the bed and opens it.
[IN THE BEDROOM]
She crosses to a closet, grabs an armload of clothes and dumps them helter-skelter into the suitcase.
INT. O’CONNOR’S OFFICE NIGHT
It is some time later and the only people left are Ted and O’Connor.
TED
(in the midst of a story)
So I’m over at the airlines, right? And the place is full of suits, right? And I’m up there and I’m making my pitch and it’s going great. I mean, I’ve got ’em right where I want ’em. And all of a sudden this old guy starts to cough. So I keep on pitching and he keeps on coughing and I keep on pitching and he keeps on—
VOICE, O.S.
G’night, fellas.
[TED’S] POV
The door to O’Connor’s office. A fellow worker, NORMAN FISHER.
CROSSCUTTING BETWEEN THEM
TED
Where you goin’ Norm, it’s early—
NORM
Got to get home.
And he disappears.
[ON TED]
TED
(glancing at his watch)
Oh, Christ, I’m late . . . I gotta get out of here.
(nevertheless, he settles back and resumes his story)
So, anyway, I look over and the old guy is starting to turn blue. Jim, I swear to God the only thing I can think about is that this poor sonofabitch is gonna die on me and screw up the pitch.
INT. KRAMER APT.—BATHROOM [NIGHT]
Joanna stands at the medicine cabinet, going through it, packing things in a travel kit: rollers, deodorant, makeup, birth control pills. She starts to take a small bottle of perfume that has only an eighth of an inch of fluid left inside, hesitates, then puts it back.
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING, MIDTOWN NIGHT
. . . as the doors to the outer lobby open and Ted and O’Connor appear. Ted starts to hail a taxi. O’Connor stops him.
O’CONNOR
C’mon, what’s the rush? Walk me a couple of blocks.
TED
Jim, I’ve got to go. I’m already late—
O’CONNOR
Listen, Ted . . . I just wanted to tell you that if this campaign does what I expect it to, I’ve got a pretty good idea they’ll make me a partner and when they do . . .
He starts off down the street.
O’CONNOR (CONT’D)
. . . I just want you to know you’ll be the next creative director.
ON TED a moment as he hesitates, then turns and follows O’Connor.
INSERT
A long and meticulous list that Joanna is making of the phone numbers and addresses of the various doctors and hospitals, of what each of Billy’s medicines is for, and of the foods that Billy is and isn’t permitted to eat . . . [DRAW BACK TO SHOW]
INT. KRAMER APT.—[DINING ROOM] NIGHT
where Joanna] sits at the dining room table working on the list with total concentration.
EXT. STREET: [TRACK WITH TED AND O’CONNOR] NIGHT
as they walk along in no particular rush.
O’CONNOR
Look, Ted, these guys are dumping six million into a national account, right? And they’re looking to change their corporate image, right? Ted, I’m telling you it’s a wet dream. You can start writing your acceptance speech for your Cleo now.
TED
C’mon, Jim, don’t say that. Don’t talk like that. It gets me very fatootzed when people talk like that. We go in, we give them our best shot. That’s all we can do.
INT. KRAMER APT.—FOYER NIGHT
ON JOANNA’S SUITCASE, now packed and by the door.
IN THE KITCHEN
CLOSE ON THE LIST OF INSTRUCTIONS that Joanna wrote out. It is neatly laid on the kitchen counter with a box of whole grain cereal and a small bottle of vitamins beside it.
INT. KRAMER APT.—LIVING ROOM NIGHT
[Joanna sitting] at a desk. There is an envelope with a list that she has made for herself. As she crosses off one of the items, and starts to go through her wallet, the front door opens and Ted steps in.
JOANNA’S POV
Ted with a big grin on his face. He is so full of himself that he fails to notice anything is wrong. He kisses her lightly and starts for the phone.
JOANNA
Ted—
But it is too late. He has gone to the phone, started dialing.
TED
Just a minute. I forgot to call the—
(into the phone)
Listen, this is Ted Kramer. I’m gonna need that stuff outa the retoucher, Tuesday latest. Okay?
As he hangs up the phone, he turns to Joanna.
JOANNA
(like ice)
Ted, I’m leaving you.
TED
What?
Joanna opens her purse, takes out her keys and wallet.
JOANNA
Here are my keys. I won’t be needing them any more.
[Ted doesn’t believe this. It must be] one of her moods—
TED
(sardonic)
I’m sorry I’m late, all right? I’m sorry
I didn’t call—I was busy making a living.
. . . Joanna doesn’t bother looking at him. She opens her purse, takes out her wallet and begins removing credit cards.
JOANNA
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My American Express . . . My Bloomingdale’s Credit Card . . . My checkbook—
TED
(the martyr)
Okay, okay . . . What is it this time? What did I do now?
JOANNA
(ignoring this)
I took two thousand out of the savings account. That was what I had in the bank when we got married.
TED
Joanna, whatever it is, believe me, I’m sorry.
JOANNA
Here are the slips for the laundry and the cleaning. They’ll be ready on Saturday.
TED
(hard lining it)
Now listen, before you do something you’ll really regret you’d better stop and think—
JOANNA
(not bothering to look up)
I’ve paid the rent, the Con-Ed and the
(MORE)
JOANNA (CONT’D)
phone bill, so you don’t have to worry about them.
She checks off the last item on her list as her husband watches, dumbfounded.
JOANNA (CONT’D)
There, that’s everything.
Joanna gets to her feet and starts towards the front door. In an instant Ted is after her.
TED
(panic starting)
For God’s sake, Joanna, would you at least tell me what I did that’s so terrible!
. . . . At the door.
JOANNA
Look, it’s not your fault, okay? It’s me. It’s my fault—you just married the wrong person.
Joanna opens the door and steps out into the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE KRAMER APT. NIGHT
JOANNA
(tears starting)
Ted, I can’t . . . I tried . . . I really tried but . . . I just can’t hack it anymore . . .
TED
(stiffening)
What about Billy?
JOANNA
I’m not taking him with me.
TED
What?
JOANNA
(from her gut)
Ted, I’m a terrible mother! I’m an awful mother. I yell at Billy all the time. I have no patience. No . . . No. He’s better off without me.
(unable to look at Ted)
Ted, I’ve got to go . . . I’ve got to go.
TED
Okay, I understand and I promise I won’t try and stop you, but you can’t just go . . . Look, come inside and talk . . . Just for a few minutes.
JOANNA
(pleading)
No! Please . . . Please don’t make me stay . . . I swear . . . If you do, sooner or later, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week—maybe a year from now—
(looking directly at him)
I’ll go right out the window.
[We HEAR THE] ELEVATOR COMING. . . . There is nothing more that can be done; this is the last moment of intimacy.
TED
Joanna, please . . .
JOANNA
Ted, I don’t love you anymore.
TED
(quietly)
Where are you going?
The elevator door opens, Joanna stepping inside.
JOANNA
I don’t know . . .
The elevator door closes behind her and it starts to descend.
. . . . [Ted] stands for a moment, stunned, unable to move.
FADE OUT3
These opening miniscenes are not as flamboyant as those from Tootsie, but they more succinctly and pointedly draw us immediately into the problem. First we see Joanna’s impassive face. We don’t know what’s wrong, but know something is. Then we cut to Ted happy in the office. Ted has just scored a coup. We cut back to the apartment as Joanna says an intense goodnight to Billy, “I love you Billy.” Her child matters to her a lot, but then Joanna gets a suitcase and starts packing.
How swiftly our emotions are worked on by this simple compare-and-contrast sequence of miniscenes. No one tells us about her unhappiness or his insensitivity: we see an unhappy woman, guess an insensitive man through his obliviousness to what is going on at home. We’re prepared for a major collision as Ted dawdles and Joanna packs, makes lists, and waits.
This is clear, straightforward, intense dramatic writing with the information we need for understanding communicated to us in a series of actions. Ted walks in without noticing list or wife waiting with her suitcase and instantly makes a call. If we hadn’t gotten the point about his insensitivity, that little piece of action shows it! She immediately precipitates a conflict: “Ted, I’m leaving you.” She does not make a speech about her motivation, causes, reflections, and final decision, only methodically gives him the list, keys, and her credit cards. Her actions show that her leaving has been planned for a time and down to the last detail. Ted can’t believe it—as Joanna goes on about the laundry, rent, and Con-Ed bill. When she heads for the door, Ted starts to believe her.
Ted demands to know how he is guilty. Joanna turns it around: this is not going to be a simple-minded thing. She is the problem: she “can’t hack it anymore.” He married the wrong person, innocently. We begin to see Ted’s insensitivity differently in this light: he has his faults, clearly, but he is not the villain. Who is? No one. How should they have been different? The question isn’t asked, but we begin to feel it. That is essential preparation for the issue of conflict.
What about Billy? She’s leaving him behind with Ted. Second bombshell for Ted. We wonder, What kind of mother is she? “I’m a terrible mother!” she says. We think, This is a troubled, honest woman. We’re wholly into the scene’s conflict, our empathy aroused by such an intense confrontation between the characters.
Now, when Joanna does try to explain herself, it is because Ted tries to keep her and she must get away. What she says is aimed at making him do something immediate—let her go. Force opposes force. Things are so bad she might try suicide if she has to stay. She delivers the clincher: “Ted, I don’t love you any more.” “Where are you going?” “I don’t know.” She disappears into the elevator.
Compare your notes with ours.
What is immediately at stake? Joanna’s leaving.
Ultimately at stake? How will Ted and Billy manage on their own? Can Ted be father and mother enough for his child?
Issue of conflict? Can a man hold a family together today, or is he unable to break out of his traditional role?
Protagonist? Joanna in this scene, but Ted for the story that ensues.
Problem? Joanna’s need to leave.
Antagonist? Here, Ted.
BEGINNING. Ted comes home and starts telephoning, ignoring Joanna. She hits him with her decision. Immediate problem and conflict.
MIDDLE. She tries to leave, and Ted stops her, forcing her to explain herself. He even promises not to stop her, but begs her to come in and talk “just for a few minutes.” Not even her warning about suicide works. Crisis. Imminent failure stares her in the eyes.
END. She tells him she doesn’t love him anymore, overcoming his resistance, getting her way. Climax. The elevator doors close.
A Word on Back Story, Exposition, and Preparation
This is a good place to define back story, exposition, and preparation, terms that frequently recur in any discussion of dramatic material. Back story is all the information you gather about your characters and story that explains what took place before the action began. If Joanna was your character, you might have imagined her education, her parents, the nature of her home life, or the circumstances of her marriage. But you use only what you need to make the immediate situation clear. Much that you gather in back story will never appear in your play, but it will deepen your understanding of your character and condition your handling of character and situation.
Exposition is information you convey during the action that we need to know in order to understand the present situation and behavior of the characters. Joanna explains herself to Ted under direct, dramatic necessity—this is why I am doing what I am doing. Good-bye! Bonasera tells his story to get Don Corleone�
�s help. The opening of Tootsie lets us experience the exposition directly in the scrapbook shots and in the miniscenes of Michael’s botched auditions.
You know you have gone astray in your handling of exposition if a character tells us something without there being an immediate, dramatic need to say it to someone in order to do something. Exposition is also one of the oldest devices for giving information in the present that is necessary for us to be able to understand some later action in a proper way. But a good writer tries to make even this kind of exposition seem motivated by a character’s present need—even if that character seems to take advantage of the moment to tell us more than we think we need to know just then.
Preparation is a detail or action carried out in the immediate moment of the scene we are experiencing that prepares us for later action. Seeing Joanna pack her bags prepares us for the confrontation with Ted. Observing Dobbs’s behavior prepares us to understand he can’t keep what he has. Witnessing Michael’s argumentativeness prepares us for his need to do something unexpected to break down the barrier he has raised against himself.
Your Second Assignment
Write a scene in which you establish character and conflict in five typewritten pages, no more or less. Introduce your characters and initiate an action by establishing a conflict in reaction to a problem in which the wills of your characters clash. Take it to some conclusive action. Give swift, accurate descriptions of shots and characters in the business. Don’t be novelistic. Don’t tell us what a character is thinking: show that thought by appropriate behavior and speech. That’s the only way we experience anything in drama.
Don’t hesitate to use the camera’s freedom to give yourself a miniscene or two to establish character or situation for your major scene.
Be specific. Who are your characters? What is your conflict? Define them as we’ve shown you.
What is immediately at stake? What is ultimately at stake? Are these two different? That is, does your issue of conflict transcend this particular scene?
A simple word to the wise in terms of working procedure. Don’t judge what you write before or while you write it—judge it afterward. Too many students never let themselves get off the ground because they don’t know when to write freely and when to sit back and judge. Don’t cramp yourself in the beginning. Only after you have text should you begin to judge your effort.
A tremendous amount of the art of writing is in revision. Do a first draft, and then concentrate on the revision. When you write that first draft, be free with it: do anything and everything that occurs to you as you write it, above and beyond whatever you may have planned. When you revise your draft, you can develop the best ideas that appear in the scene.