The Best Thing for Me

by Lauren Jackson

  "You heard me."

  "You're crazy."

  "Answer the question."

  "Where did this come from?" he asked, shaking his head at me. He pursed his lips in disapproval. I kept my face as emotionless as I could, attempting to scour the information out of him. I then realised he had avoided the question.

  "Luke," I said flatly. "Somebody tipped me off. I know you hit him."

  "What the actual fuc-"

  "Don't swear!" I scolded, slapping him on the arm.

  "Don't accuse me of killing someone!"

  "So you didn't." I deadpanned.

  I actually found myself not believing him.

  Oh my goodness...

  "No..." he said, averting his gaze away from me. My heart sank down into the pit of my stomach. I had an over-whelming sensation to be sick. I swallowed, hoping to rid this feeling. My hand rose to my mouth in horror. I shook my head at him, tears filling my vision. He stared at me for a few moments. He looked scared.

  "She told me too." he whispered.

  "W-what?" I sniffled, not having heard him properly. Then his words finally registered in the back of my mind and I squinted at him. "Who?"

  "Dinner's ready," Dad called loudly, causing me to jump in alarm.

  I rested my vacant hand on my chest. If I wasn't careful, I'd start blubbering like a baby. My brother couldn't have committed a crime like this. Maybe if he had hit him and it was accidental, but now I find out he was sent to. And he never even stopped. Black dots danced across my vision and I blinked rapidly.

  Luke stood up abruptly, drawing to his full height. I clambered up as well and wrapped my fingers around his shirt. I looked up at him pleadingly, begging him to start laughing. I needed him to be joking right now.

  "Who ordered you to?"

  "Forget I said anything."

  "I can't!" I hissed as he began to walk away. I reefed him back and stared at him pleadingly again. "I can't forget something this serious, Luke. You murdered someone. Now you're telling me somebody sent you? You can't leave me in the dark like this!"

  "I can and I will."

  He pushed me away and exited his room swiftly. I stood there, yet again, dumbfounded. I couldn't believe this was happening. My quiet, strange brother, able to commit something like this?

  Numbly, I walked out to the kitchen and perched myself uncomfortably on the kitchen chairs. I spoke when necessary and tried not to look depressed throughout dinner. I must have been successful to not show my emotions because Dad didn't question my behaviour.

  After washing up, I walked to my room and checked my phone. I found I had a missed call from Jason. Despite the situation, I smiled. I dialed his number and pressed the phone to my ear, listening to the rings. On the fourth, he answered.

  "Hey babe."

  "Hi," I replied.

  After chatting casually for roughly twenty-five minutes, I finally allowed myself to ask a dangerous, but yet need-to-know question.

  "Have you found any leads on who hit him?" I bit my lip in nervousness, waiting for his answer. I began rocking back and forth, agitated. He took a few moments to respond.

  "Actually... Daniel told me who he thought hit Mark."

  Time seemed to stop. I swallowed a dry lump that had lodged itself in my throat. My breath was hitched in my throat. "R-really?"

  "Yeah. I don't believe Luke did it though."

  "Me either."

  "You know?"

  "Yeah, Daniel told me at school today..." I trailed off.

  "Oh."

  An awkward silence lapsed and I felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt and sadness. I didn't want this burden on me. Luke admitted to having hit him. What would happen to Jason and I? Would it affect our relationship? It would have to, to some degree. I could get into so much trouble for just knowing he hit him. If Daniel tells the police, Luke could be locked up for an extremely long time.

  I shook my head as tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't want this to happen! It wasn't fair. Just when things were starting to go really good with Jason again, Luke had to come along and tell me what he did. Well, really Daniel, because I technically asked Luke, but that doesn't matter now. What does is that I know and I have no idea how to deal with it.

  Except if Mark hadn't died, things would never have been good with Jason again... a voice whispered in the back of my mind. I pushed it away though and ignored it. I wasn't going to be thinking stuff like that.

  "But what if he did..." I murmured. "It would affect us."

  "It wouldn't affect our relationship, Emma." Jason reasoned. "Really, he did us a favour."

  "D-don't say that!"

  "Emma," he chuckled lightly. "He wasn't a good man. It did the world a favour. It's horrible to say, but it really is the truth."

  "But..."

  "No buts. Can you stay tomorrow night?" he asked, changing the subject.

  I sighed through my nose. "Sure."

  "Great." he replied. "Alright, well I'm going to go. Night, love you."

  "Oh, er-goodnight." I rambled as the line went dead.

  My phone slipped from my fingers and I lie down backwards. I stared absently at the ceiling deep in thought. Jason may be casual and cool about this, (unbelievably), but I wasn't. I don't think the fact my brother killed someone was going to settle smoothly with me. I'm not even sure Jason was taking this seriously. I got up, showered, changed and shuffled out of my room. I found myself entering Luke's. I stared at him for a few moments, before realising he was dead asleep, cocooned in his blankets. My harsh expression softened and I backed out quietly. I'll talk to him in the morning. Unanswered questions continued to swirl restlessly in my mind. Who sent him? She? Who was powerful enough, or my correction, brave enough, to go against Mark?

  I bid Dad goodnight and crawled into my own bed. I sunk into my soft mattress and smothered myself in my warm, fluffy blankets. I closed my eyes and tried to shut my overriding mind off. I'll just deal with it in the morning. Eventually, I found myself falling into sleep.

  38

  Knock, knock, knock

  "Go away."

  Knock, knock, knock.

  "Don't make me tell you again."

  "Just answer the door, speak with me and then I will go away." I rationalised, planting my hands on my hips. It went silent for a few moments, before the door swung open slowly and Luke stood there, glaring at me. His messy blond hair was standing up at odd angles and he had slight bags under his eyes. His upper lip was curled back slightly, clearly showing he was displeased with me. I smiled sweetly at him and battered my eyelashes.

  "May I come in?"

  "No." he replied shortly, shutting the door in my face. I groaned, banging my fists on it. I began pushing, at the same time he wrenched the door open. I toppled forwards and face planted onto the carpet. I rolled onto my back and gazed up at him, grinning.

  "What do you want?" he sighed, running a lazy hand through his hair. He tapped his barefoot impatiently. I slowly clambered up and met his eye. I took in his features. He looked like crap. He obviously didn't a great sleep last night. Good. He deserved it.

  "I would like you to tell me what's going on in that big head of yours." I shrugged, plopping down onto his bed. I patted beside me and smiled up at him. "Come on down."

  He frowned at me. "I just want to sleep."

  "You can," I pleaded in exasperation. "Just hear me out first. Sit."

  He sighed deeply through his nose, but obeyed, thankfully. The bed dipped beside me and I half-turned, so I was facing him. I met his gaze steadily, wanting to study his reaction to my question.

  "Who did you mean when you referred to 'She told me to'?"

  "I'm not supposed to tell you." he admitted, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "It's top secret, Emma."

  "I'm your sister. You can tell me anything. For Heaven's Sake, you told me you..." I dropped my voice to a mere whisper. "Killed somebody."

  "And look how great that turned out." he deadpanned.

  "Luke,
" I warned, my eyes narrowing. "Spit it out."

  "No." he replied stubbornly, jutting out his chin like a child. I groaned in frustration and shoved his chest. His fingers enclosed over my wrists and he stared at me coolly.

  "Don't."

  "Tell me."

  "No." he bit out, his grip tightening.

  "Why?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. "Are you getting angry, Luke?"

  "Don't." he growled. "Don't make me hurt you."

  "Would you?" I challenged. "Would you actually hurt me?"

  Suddenly I was shoved forcefully back. His elbow was pinning me down. His face was only inches from mine, his eyes flashing with anger. We stayed like that for a few moments. I swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. Luke was so unpredictable.

  "I. Can't. Tell. You."

  "Why?" I shouted, trying to get up in his face. I wanted him to be bothered. He might accidentally tip me off. "Why can't you?"

  He released his iron-like grip and allowed me to sit up. He walked away from me and yanked his jeans from the top of his cupboard. He disappeared into his adjacent bathroom and appeared moments later. He threw on a t-shirt and stared at me. I met his gaze, standing, reaching my full height. Not that that made much of a difference, I barely came to Luke's shoulders. Similar to Jason, actually.

  "You know what? I'll do better than tell you." He said, closing the distance between us, making me take a few steps back. "I'll show you."

  "Where are you two going?" Dad asked curiously as I trailed behind Luke. He bit off a chunk of toast and lazily flicked through a few more pages of the newspaper. I looked at Luke expectantly, waiting for him to answer, seeing as I was unsure of where exactly we were going. He refused to tell me, stubborn brat.

  "For a run," he replied breezily. It almost scared me how easily he could lie. It made me think how much he has lied to me over the years. Maybe I don't even know him at all. Dad choked on his toast and thumped his chest. His eyes widened as he gawked at me. After he had recovered, his smirked at me, amusement clear in his eyes.

  "Emma? You're going for a run?"

  "Shut up," I muttered, ducking my head, gluing my eyes to the floor. I can't look people in the eyes when I lie. I crumble way too easily. "I can run."

  "Last time you vowed to never go with him again."

  "Well..." I trailed off awkwardly, hating the fact that I was lying to him. I was always a terrible liar. Except that fluke of a time in the hospital with Mark. I still do not know how I pulled that off. I'm quite proud, actually. "I thought I'd test it out again. I'm feeling fitter this time."

  He snorted. "Good luck then."

  I pursed my lips at him. "Thank you for your support."

  He rolled his eyes. "Any time."

  I grabbed an apple from the counter fruit bowl. I glanced down, hoping my clothing choice was appropriate. I was just wearing a turquoise knit-jumper and some light coloured jeans. I had my snug, grey boots on. My hair was twisting down my back in curls and I didn't bother applying make-up on. I reached for my black coat and hung it lazily over my lower arm. I planted a kiss on Dad's cheek before departing.

  "I'm going to walk to John's place and get his car. He said I can use it whenever I want." Luke explained and began to walk in the opposite direction to which I had planned. I hadn't even thought about transportation, seeing as Luke's car was, 'getting fixed'.

  "Okay. Can I go to Mel's while I wait?" I asked.

  "Sure."

  I took off without another word and found myself at Mel's door in mere minutes. With no knock necessary, I stepped inside, suddenly engulfed with warmth. I shrugged off my coat and slipped out of my boots. I placed them by the front door and wound up the stairs. I gently knocked before opening the door. She was lying in her bed, scrolling on her phone. I settled down beside her.

  "Hello," she said absently. "Facebook fight."

  "Ooh!" I said, my ears perking up. "Between?"

  "Rose and Jamie."

  "Excellent," I grinned, sidling closer for a better look.

  It was horrible that I enjoyed feuds between the 'It' crowds, but hey, I wasn't purely good. We silently read the one hundred and thirty comments. I couldn't help giggle and roll my eyes numerous times. Girls fought over the most ridiculous things. It was rather amusing, I must say.

  "So." she said, locking her iPhone and placing it on the night stand beside her. "What's the hap?"

  I opened my mouth to explain, but she gasped. "When did you get your cast off?"

  "Uhm..." I looked down at my non-fleuro arm. "Couple of days ago. Sorry, I've been with Jason a lot. I haven't had time to come see you."

  "Shame on you." she frowned, shaking her head. "Some best friend you are."

  "Sorry," I mumbled, ducking my head.

  She squeezed my shoulder. "So, what were you gonna' say?"

  "I have some major news." I said slowly, my good mood at seeing her dropping lower and lower. I really, really didn't want to burden her with this, but she was my best-friend. Also, she was on and off with Luke all the time, so she definitely had a right to know. It was just admitting it to her, would be the hard part. Even though it technically shouldn't be me telling her.

  "What now?" she asked with a frown, facing me.

  "LukewastheonewhohitMarkMayorandnowheistakingmetothepersonwhotoldhimtodoit."

  She blinked a few times at me. "What now?"

  I took in a deep breath and re-explained the entire thing, with a bit more detail this time. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes bulging. For a moment I actually thought they were going to pop out of her head. They begin to glisten with moisture. She opened and closed her moth a few times, before she actually formed a sentence.

  "You're joking..."

  "Afraid not."

  "Oh my God." She said, burying her face in her hands. "This can't be happening! Not Luke!"

  "I know." I said, patting her back soothingly. "It's really hard to believe."

  "Who would tell him to do such a thing?" She sniffled, tears flowing down her face.

  "No idea," I shrugged. "But I'm going to find out."

  There was a knock. Speak of the Devil. Luke poked his head in and his smile instantly dropped. He stepped inside the room and gently shut the door. I didn't need to communicate words with him to let him know the cat was out of the bag.

  "Uh, Mel. I can explain..." he began but she shot up out of the bed and moved faster than I could keep up with. I heard a sickening crack as her hand made contact with his cheek. She pummeled her fists against his chest. He grabbed her arms and she broke down in tears. "Mel..."

  "How could you?" she whispered brokenly. "How could you do something like that?"

  "You don't understand." he said in a rushed tone. "If you knew the stuff he threatened my family with-"

  "I know!" she shrieked. "I know everything you idiot!"

  "Ah..." he trailed off awkwardly.

  "Do you think that gives you an excuse to do something like that? Do you?"

  "He was a bad man." he said quietly, as if that meant it was okay to have performed such a task. I shook my head in disgust. I couldn't believe my brother could do something like this. It was moments like these that made you re-think and question everything around you. She stepped away from him, yanking her arms from his capture. She wiped at her face furiously. I felt like an intruder being here, but yet, I couldn't make myself leave. I sat in silence, afraid to speak.

  "Get out."

  "Mel..."

  "Get the Hell out of my house or so help me God," she threatened.

  She death-glared him and he backed back, hitting the edge of the doorway. His eyes darted to me, before turning and leaving. I bit my lip and watched her. Her chest as rising and falling, matching her short breath intakes. She slowly turned towards me.

  "I'm sorry I had to tell you." I whispered, afraid to speak any louder. I had a feeling she could blow any minute and I did not want to witness it.

  "I'm glad you did." she replied flatly. "I'm going t
o go back to bed now."

  "Is there anything I can get for you...?"

  "No," she snapped. I stiffened at the sound of her harshness and her voice softened. "Thanks, though."

  I nodded once and departed. I exited the house, shrugging my coat on. Luke stood there, arms folded, staring.

  "You just had to tell her."

  "Get over yourself." I spat. "You're lucky I didn't tell the Police. A good person would have."

  "A good person would have kept quiet, in order to save their brother."

  "Are you worthy of being saved?" I questioned, coming to a stop. He didn't make an attempt to answer me, so I continued. "You're the one who started this whole mess anyway."

  "No. You did. When you hooked up with one of the golden boys."

  "Shut up!" I cried, socking him in the shoulder. "Just shut it, okay? Don't you dare blame your murder on me. Ugh, let's just go."

  It hurt to think. I wanted to just take a sleeping pill and sleep for the rest of the year. I knew that was slightly impossible though, unfortunately.

  His jaw tensed and began clicking. He stomped towards the car and I got in, slamming the door with unnecessary force. I folded my arms defensively across my chest and glared out the window, feeling like a five year old. I didn't care though, I was angry.

  "You need to mentally prepare yourself for this," Luke warned.

  "Why?" I snapped.

  He didn't reply. I began getting nervous. Did I even want to meet this person? This monster? I began drumming my legs. I chewed at my bottom lip. I jumped when my phone vibrated. I fished it out of my pocket and squinted at the screen. It was Jason.

  ' Hey Babe. What are you doing today? '

  I didn't feel like explaining it again, but I thought I may as well. I typed away, explaining exactly where I was going and why. Well, not exactly, because I didn't know. Really, I just said I was on the way to meet this mysterious somebody. After a few seconds, I got a reply. I opened it and began to read.

  ' What!? I should be with you! What if it is dangerous? You have no idea what loony he could be taking you to! What are you thinking? '