Scottlander

by Samantha Liddell

  We pulled in to the bus stop at 4pm. Our tour had come to an end. We all said our goodbyes. Amanda and I exchanged contact details, we might catch up again in the future. I said goodbye and thankyou to our tour guide Steve.

  “No worries, it was a pleasure most of the time,” he said with a smirk on his face, so I didn’t take too much offence at his comment.

  It was a Friday night and people were leaving work and meeting up with friends for drinks. There was a buzz in the air, and being winter, it was dark already. The lights down the Royal Mile made it look very festive and very alive. I however, only had one thing on my mind – food. I needed pizza and I needed it fast. I searched pizza shop on my phone, I wanted to find the nearest one to Old Bark Cottage, otherwise, by the time I arrived back there, there was no guarantee there would be any pizza left for the girls and Sophie.

  I walked onto Princes Street and sat on a park bench. I typed in

  ‘Pizza shop Princes Street Edinburgh’. Wow! I’m really in Edinburgh looking for a pizza shop, it still felt like a dream. Bingo!

  Found one, it was called Pizza Mafia, Edinburgh and located at Waverley Mall, 3 Princes Street. Damn, that was at the other end of the street. I was so hungry I didn’t think I could walk that far. The pizza at the other end of the street started to resemble Jamie in my dream, calling out to me, where my feet were like concrete and not moving. One step forward, two steps back, I just couldn’t get there. I could hear the pizza calling my name:

  “Letticia, Letticia, oh my God Letticia, is that you?”

  “Shut-up pizza, of course it’s me, stop teasing me,”

  Oops, did I say that aloud? Oh my God, now the pizza is replying to me:

  “Um, last time I checked I wasn’t a pizza and I wasn’t teasing you, I was Scott.”

  At that moment, I came out of my hunger coma and turned around so fast I fell off the bench, that, plus I was so hungry my balance was a bit off.

  “Letticia, are you okay? You look a bit distressed.”

  I don’t know why what happened next, happened, I will just put it down to my hunger, but I just looked at him and started crying. “Oh, Scott! I’m just so hungry, I can’t even decide whether I should pick up or get pizza delivered. It’s all too much in my hungry state. I’m falling to bits. I feel this is the end. Will you hold me and take me to my happy place as I slowly pass away from hunger?” Scott actually played along with me while I was in my delusional state.

  “Oh, Letticia. Yes, it’s the least I can do.”

  He sat down next to me and put my head on his knee so that I was lying on my side along the length of the bench. He then went on, “Shhhhh now, everything will be okay. You are at home in your pyjamas, it is a cold and wet day outside, you have the whole boxed set of Outlander plus a tub of ice cream, packets of chips, blocks and blocks of chocolate, oh, and a bottle of Pimm’s. You have over forty-five hours of viewing ahead of you. This is Letticia’s happy place.”

  Then, suddenly, as if by magic, he waved a chocolate cupcake in front of my eyes. Oh, it looked so moist, it looked so sweet, and it looked like it needed to be in my mouth. ‘I must have passed away,’ I thought.

  “Am I in heaven?” I asked. “I see the light and I see a cupcake.” Scott replied, “No, Letticia that is just a street light, and that cupcake I was actually bringing home from work for my dessert. But I feel you need it much more than I do. Now eat, before you really do pass away to the other side.”

  The first few mouthfuls were gone within seconds. When I started to regain my strength, I had the ability to talk sense again.

  “This cupcake really did the trick, thank you for rescuing me.”

  “Aye,” he said. “All in a day’s work. Never a dull moment when you are present.”

  “So, did you make this cupcake? It’s delicious.”

  “Who, me? No, not me. My head catering lady made it. Although she handed in her notice today, something about heading overseas to follow her dream.”

  “Really? Good for her. We need more women in the world like her.”

  “Well, not really, because now I’m short-staffed and we are due on set this Monday.”

  “Oh my God,” how did I forget you were catering for Outlander?” I said loudly.

  “Yes, we are. Well, we won’t be if I don’t find a replacement for Josie.”

  “Well, Scott, this is your lucky day. Lucky I am still alive, thanks to you, and I can be your lady. Your catering lady I mean, not your lady, lady.”

  “Yes, I know what you meant,” Scott replied, and we both laughed.

  He then said, “Great! You are hired, you start Monday.”

  ‘Wow, what a day,’ I thought. ‘I just completed my first dream tour, managed to make my nanny cheerful, and now I’ve just been hired as head caterer for my all-time favourite TV series film set. Could this day get any better?’ I thought about it, and thought, yes, it could, if I could just get my hands on a slice of hot, cheesy pizza.

  Thanks to Scott’s cupcake, I was now able to think straight. I decided to order pizza and get it delivered, that way, by the time I got back to Old Bark Cottage, it should be arriving at the same time, still hot in its box.

  I thanked Scott for saving my life and giving me a job, and we arranged to meet up sometime during the weekend to discuss the job and for me to sign the contract. I gave him a hug goodbye, then announced, “I must be off. I’m in a hurry to get back home before the pizza does.” Oh my God, I’m in a race against a pizza, this day just gets better and better.

  As I was about to take off at lightning speed, I heard Scott say, “On your marks, get set, go! Run for glory, let the best person or pizza win!”

  “Smart ass!” I yelled over my shoulder.

  “That’s no way to talk to your boss, or master!” he yelled back.

  “Master? Ha, you are not my master,” I was now too far away to hear what he yelled out next, so I put my hand to my ear and shook my head as if to say ‘Sorry, can’t hear you.’ I then felt my phone vibrate in the back pocket of my jeans. I pulled it out, there was a text from Scott:

  Aye, Letticia. I am your master and you are mine. Together we are one”

  I let out a little giggle, and thought, ‘This guy is as crazy as I am.’ I texted back:

  I see you have paid TV now and have continued to binge watch. You are still not as much of a fan as me though.

  I will be one day. Watch out world. See you tomorrow ‘Sassenach’, your shout. FYI, just letting you know we are on ground level now, drinks are not free anymore.

  Thanks for reminding me, I replied.

  I then returned my phone to my pocket and continued my race home.

  As I ran towards Old Bark Cottage, I started to notice just how bitterly cold it had become. I could feel winter’s breath on my skin and creeping up under my clothes. My teeth started gently chattering, although I’m not sure if hunger still had a part to play in that. I turned the corner, and was now at last on Queen Street. Old Bark Cottage was in sight and no pizza car was visible. I hadn’t seen a delivery car pass me on my run home either, I must be in the lead.

  I continued to run down the street, passing house after house with their lights on and curtains closed. Smoke came out of chimneys, everybody was at home, cosy and safe in their houses for the long winter night ahead, which is just where I should be. But, I’ve come to realise I’m not the same as everyone else. I tend to ‘dance to the beat of my own drum’ and that finally, after a long time of doubting myself, I can confidently say ‘and I’m ok with that.’

  I made it to the driveway, all I had to do now was run down the path to get to our own private entrance at the bottom level of Old Bark Cottage. It was a beautiful path, with flowers of all colours lining the edge. In the daytime, you could see all the leaves from the trees scattered over the path, which was a lovely sight, however, in the dark, I could only hear the crunching of the leaves, like sugar under my feet, as I made my way down. The only light I had to guide me was
the street light that was now behind me, and the lights from the house in front of me.

  As I got closer to the door, I could hear music playing. I had to take a few steps closer to identify what song it was, then I recognized it as one by The Bangles – ‘Walk Like an Egyptian.’ I was almost at the door when I heard joyful laughter. I must say, it was a great sound, but I immediately thought about poor old Mrs. Wilson upstairs on her own, probably trying to watch her favourite TV program Coronation Street, and have a nice relaxing cuppa.

  I got to the door and looked through the gap of the curtain on the adjacent window. I could see the girls dancing and singing along to the song, they were even doing the actions with their arms! My eyes then caught sight of more people joining in, it was Sophie and Mrs. Wilson, and they were having a right jolly time. Sophie looked different somehow, she was smiling, she was beaming, and she was on cloud nine. ‘Wow, she must really like being a nanny,’ I thought. She looked younger, she looked lighter, and she looked fantastic. It is amazing how when you’re happy inside, you just glow on the outside. My focus then went to the pizza, were there any pizza boxes on the table? None.

  “Yes!” I yelled. “I won! I won! I won!” I did a little victory dance and sang, ‘I am the champion.’ I then spun around to see a pimply young pizza boy, with greasy hair down to his shoulders. I looked at the pizza and shouted, “Loser, I beat you pizza, take that! Nothing can stop Letticia Little today! Wahoo, did ya hear that? Nothing can stop me today!”

  The pizza boy looked frightened, he looked like he just wanted to find the nearest escape to freedom. I handed over the money and tip, and before I could even say thanks, he was sprinting up the path and not looking back. He almost tripped over something half way up, and his legs did an erratic dance, but he recovered before falling flat on his face.

  I felt that I needed to join in the fun also, so I decided to let myself in upstairs. Mrs. Wilson had given me a spare key for the upstairs in case of an emergency; the reason for which I was using her key now didn’t justify her reasoning, but I’m sure she won’t mind. I opened the door with one hand, the other was carrying the pizzas. Somehow I had forgotten how hungry I was, my focus was terrible at the best of times. I went straight to Mrs. Wilson’s toilet, grabbed a toilet roll, and started wrapping it around myself from head to toe. Right, that should do it. I then made my way down the stairs, damn, I forgot how much the stairs creak. I was about to make a grand entrance, just as I’d told my friends on the tour today that I liked to do. I do hope I get a better response from my family than I did on the bus this morning though. Gee, some people just don’t know a good entrance when they see one.

  The creaking had caught the ‘Egyptian dancers’’ attention, and they all stopped mid dance move to stare at the stairs.

  “Who is that coming?” Sophie asked Mrs. Wilson.

  “I have no idea,” she replied.

  I could hear worry and panic in their voices, but at that moment I made my appearance, and yelled out in a dramatic voice, “Your mummy is home! And I come bearing gifts in the form of pizza! Who’s hungry?!”

  Leah and Polly knew it was me straight away. They came running up calling out, “Mummy, Mummy, you are home! Mmmm pizza!” Not sure if they were more excited to see me or the pizza. Damn you, pizza. You win this time. Sophie, on the other hand, did what any 22-year-old would do, and went straight to her phone to take a photo of me. It was then up on Facebook within a minute, and she tagged me too! ‘These young people can’t just live in the moment, can they?’ I thought.

  “Anyway, the pizza must be almost cold now,” I said. “Dig in, everyone. You too Mrs. Wilson, do stay for dinner, will you?” She agreed within seconds.

  We all sat around the table, laughing and joking, and sharing stories about our day. The girls and Sophie told us all about the Egyptian indoor playground and how they all want to go to Egypt now. I told them about my Outlander tour, the people I met and the places I saw, and stated that we won’t be going to Egypt any time soon as we have only just got to Scotland.

  It was a lovely evening. I do feel that Sophie left a very important event out of her day, however. I can tell there is something she’s not telling me. I decided to refill her glass of wine to the top, which should get her talking. I sat back in my chair to take in this great feeling that I was having, surrounded by family and friends. I felt so much better now that my tummy was full. I caught sight of pizza crumbs all over the floor, which reminded me: ‘Oh, crap. Paul.’

  “Girls, we need to Skype Daddy before bed, okay?”

  The girls started to look more tired with each mouthful of pizza they took.

  “Right,” I told them, “finish up that slice, then off you go to brush your teeth and hop into bed. We will Skype Daddy in bed.”

  I was glad that Sophie had put them in the shower before I had got home, and they were in their pyjamas. With all those germs you find in those indoor playgrounds, I wouldn’t dare put them into bed unwashed after a whole day spent playing on soft fall with a million other kids.

  We got the laptop out and proceeded to call Paul on Skype. He’d better pick up; I had texted him five minutes earlier to tell him the girls were about to call. There was no reply. After a few calls he answered, thank goodness, as the girls were super excited to talk to their daddy. All three of us squeezed into the little screen to say hi. I only stayed for a quick chat to assure him all was well, and make small talk over the weather. I then left the girls to talk to him a bit longer, and went to the kitchen to help clean up the pizza boxes. As I approached, I noticed it had already been done, thanks to Mrs. Wilson and Sophie. Mrs. Wilson thanked me for the pizza and hospitality. I told her she was welcome anytime, and she made her way back up the creaky staircase. As she walked away, I remembered that I had forgotten to apologise for letting myself in upstairs earlier.

  “Sorry for my uninvited entrance into your place before!” I yelled. She turned around and said, “No, no, not at all, it was a grand mummy entrance. One of the best entrances I have ever seen.”

  “Why, thank you,” I said. Finally, somebody who appreciated and enjoyed one of the many entrances I have made in my life. I knew this day would come around!

  I could still hear the girls chattering away to their daddy. Lots of giggles were coming from their room, so I thought I would let them chat for a bit longer, even though it was getting late.

  Sophie looked at me in a pleading kind of way.

  “Soooooo,” she started to say. “I know it’s my day off tomorrow, but I would love to take the kids back to Time Twisters in the morning, if that’s okay with you? We all had such a great time today.”

  I replied in a ‘What are you up to?’ kind of way.

  “Really? On your day off you want to go back to that germ-infested place, with a million children screaming at the tops of their lungs?”

  “Sure do,” she answered.

  I thought it was very strange, and now I knew for certain that she was up to something. I did have a meeting with Scott in the morning anyway, which I was planning on just bringing the kids along to, but I guess if she wants to take them back to Time Twisters, then there is no harm.

  “Okay, I guess. If you really don’t mind on your day off.”

  “No, not at all. It will be my pleasure.”

  Now she’s using words like pleasure? Who is this person? She was not the Sophie I had picked up from the airport a few days ago. I went back into the girls’ room, and they were just saying goodbye to Daddy and blowing kisses. I said goodbye too, and that we would call again tomorrow night.

  It was safe to say we all slept like babies that night after our busy day. Our jetlag must be sorting itself out now, we all seem to be adjusting to this new time zone a lot better. Sophie and I were even too tired to watch episode three tonight.

  “Oh, well. There is always tomorrow night,” Sophie announced. Happy, level-headed and talkative. What is this girl up to?

  The next morning the girls and I w
ere up before Sophie. While we were eating our cornflakes, we finally heard the shower go on. Sophie had decided to get up after all. The girls and I chatted over breakfast and I announced that we’d better start on their school work in the next few days; we’d been a bit slack on that front since arriving in Scotland. There were far more interesting things to be done than school work. That was for sure.

  Sophie arrived at the breakfast table, but it wasn’t the normal Sophie look, she was wearing makeup, she had lippy on and mascara! She still wore her black pants and top, but there was a splash of colour on her today as well. She had a green tartan scarf that she wore loosely around her neck, and she had orange socks on. ‘Orange. What an odd colour to choose to wear,’ I thought. Now she really has me wondering.

  “Well, girls, are we ready to have some fun again at Time Twisters?” she asked.

  “Yessssss,” they yelled out at the same time.

  “Well, put your boots and coats on, and let’s go!”

  I said goodbye, and told them I would meet them back here at lunch time. I first suggested 12.30pm, Sophie said 1.30pm. So, we negotiated and agreed on 1pm. ‘Why did she want to stay out longer? What is she up to?’ I asked myself for the millionth time.

  As soon as the door closed, I ran to my phone. Well, I dived onto my phone that was on the couch, although I overestimated and sort of dived over it. I finally had the phone in my hands, and immediately texted Scott. Fancy a stakeout, ASAP?