Expelled

by Ell Leigh Clarke

  Vlad’s voice quipped through her comm. “And try to get in your pants.”

  Jayne choked a little, feeling the vodka in her drink burn her throat. If she hadn’t heard the muffled punching sound, Jayne would have found a way to reach through the comm and hit Vlad herself.

  “Something wrong?” the stranger asked.

  “No. It… just went down my windpipe is all.”

  He was tall with broad shoulders, now that Jayne was able to get a good look at him. He pointed to her drink. “How is that?”

  “Not bad. Not bad at all.” Jayne extended a hand to the man. “I’m Jayne, by the way. Jayne Austin.”

  He smiled broadly and gave her a firm handshake. “I’m Matthew. But I go by Matt. Matt Decarte.” He made eye contact with the bartender. “Know what? I think I’ll have what she’s having, please.”

  “So…” Jayne cooed, trying her best to be charming. “What brings you to the party?”

  “You mean business or pleasure?”

  “I’m a little more detail oriented than that.”

  “My coworkers thought it would be a good idea if a bunch of us came.” He shrugged bashfully. “So, you know, social pressure.”

  She chuckled. “Oh, I do know.”

  “What brings you here? Are you here with anyone?”

  Vlad’s voice again. “Are you going to introduce us?”

  Jayne scratched her ear in annoyance. “No, I’m alone. I’m mostly here for, um, networking. I just started a small business. Real small, actually.”

  “Well, you have to start somewhere. Not everyone can do the corporate thing. Or wants to, for that matter.”

  Jayne and Matt faced each other, making eye contact that somehow didn’t feel entirely uncomfortable. The electricity was broken up by Merry in her ear again. “Uh, Jayne? Jayne?”

  Jayne looked away to tame a stray hair, then looked back at him again. “So, what had you in such a hurry back there?”

  “Nothing important,” he told her, picking up his drink from the bar. “Do you play blackjack at all?”

  “No! No, Jayne. You do not play blackjack.”

  Jayne instinctively started to scratch the ear with Merry in it but caught herself. “I don’t think I’ve ever tried.”

  “Can you count to twenty-one?”

  “I think I can do that.”

  “Then why don’t we go try our luck?”

  Merry wouldn’t relent. “No. Get out of there! This is flirting, not schmoozing.”

  Vlad chimed in. “What do you have against our Jayne getting laid?”

  “She has stuff to do, you idiot!”

  Matt softly put a hand on her upper back, guiding her to the poker and blackjack tables. Jayne felt a slight tingle where his hand was. “Let’s do it,” he declared.

  “He’s not subtle, is he?” Another muffled punching sound. “Ow!”

  Matt continued the conversation. “What do you do for a living, Jayne Austin?”

  “I’m a… researcher. Contract work. Government commissions, mostly.”

  “Sounds vague, but I love a good tease. What do you research?”

  Jayne smiled. “People. And their problems.”

  “What do you know about me?”

  “Not much, but I’d like to find out.”

  He sipped his drink. “I’ve kept a journal since I was twelve, but you’ll have to break into my room and find it. It has unicorns on the cover, can’t miss it.”

  Dammit, Jayne thought. He’s funny, too.

  “So, you’re a spy?”

  Jayne turned, her fight-or-flight kicked in, only a little. Who is this guy?

  “Trust me, no one here cares. I’m assuming you’re independent? No sides, just business? That’s good. Don’t worry, your secret is safe. If you’re looking for clients, you’re at a buffet.”

  They approached the blackjack table. Matt greeted the dealer and bought some chips for him and Jayne. A short girl in a velvet dress and side-swept waves of hair hung onto a slightly taller man’s arm. She greeted Matt and pointed at Jayne. She had a high-pitched voice and a Vector-B accent. “Friend of yours?”

  “This is Jayne. She is a, um… researcher.”

  The short girl cooed, looking Jayne up and down predatorily. “What exactly do you research, Jayne?”

  “I specialize in people. And their problems.” The ring of blackjack players exchanged a series of knowing glances. Jayne crossed her legs and looked to Matt. Matt caught her gaze. He nodded, assuring. “More specifically, I specialize in solving problems. Big problems… I run a small spy agency.” She finished off her drink and glanced to the beaming Matt. His coworkers laughed. Finally, someone interesting!

  Jayne answered the questions of Matt’s coworkers and played a couple hands of blackjack. This was getting easier, except for the constant badgering from Merry.

  Eventually, Jayne sighed, “I have to take off now.”

  Matt looked disappointed. “Are you sure? We’ve lost so many rounds, our luck can only get better from here.”

  Jayne smiled. “I’ll be around. I just have some, um, business stuff to do.”

  Matt winked. “Spy stuff? Okay, but take my number. I want you to call me.”

  They made electric eye contact again. And again, it was disrupted by Merry. “No! Politely decline. Move along.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Jayne tried to ignore Merry’s conniption fit as she accepted the comm number. “What are you thinking? You have a business to run.”

  She waited until she was twenty feet from the blackjack table to make fake static noises. “I can’t hear you. Merry? Merry?”

  “Jayne, why did you get his number? That’s not what you’re there for.”

  “Still breaking up. Merry, if you can hear me, I’m shutting this off now.”

  “No. Don’t you dare!”

  “I think I can handle it from here. If you can hear me Merry…”

  “You’re not speed dating. This is serious.”

  “I can’t hear you.”

  “Jayne? Jayne?”

  Jayne took the necklace off and examined it. She held it up to the light before putting it in her purse. It had been a great idea, but it was no longer necessary.

  +++

  Governor’s Mansion, L80, Theron Techcropolis, Armaros

  He muttered under his breath, “I hate these events.”

  But she was the reason he was here. He looked at the young woman in the green satin dress by the blackjack table, examining her necklace. She was undeniably beautiful. He noticed she received several admiring glances from party guests of every rank, class and sex. He pointedly rearranged the cards in his hand.

  The blackjack dealer in the red vest raised an eyebrow at one of his guests. “Your turn, sir.”

  His stooge put a hand on his shoulder and woozily examined his cards. He could smell the alcohol on this man’s breath. Why do humans insist on touching each other so much?

  His repulsion was distracted by the thought of how he and his stooge must look to the other party guests. The stooge had an open, doughy face and loose posture. He was tall, broad-shouldered and serious. The stooge was always smiling and sharing, whereas he was reserved and almost never emanated any warmth.

  His stooge steadied himself and smiled. His eyelids were half-mast. “This a pretty good hand.”

  He glared at the stooge before putting his cards face down on the table. He felt a definite chill underneath his pale skin. “I fold.”

  The stooge swayed and seemed genuinely disappointed. The alcohol gave him a red cast across his nose and cheeks. “Aww, c’mon! This was just getting good.”

  “I think,” he caught his stooge companion just before he fell to the ground, “instead of playing cards, I should help you. You’re clearly unwell.”

  “Nawwww. I’ve been drunker than this.”

  He tossed one of his companion’s arms over his shoulder. “I’ll bet.”

  “Hahahaha… You’re sooooo
funny! I wanna… I wanna put you in my pocket or something.”

  He sighed and looked for an open table. While there weren’t any completely empty tables, he was able to find one with only two guests and their dates. He looked around for the young woman as he steered the stooge towards the table. She was speaking with a distinguished-looking older lady as she made her way to the bathroom.

  His stooge hovered over one of the four guests at the table where he immediately became an annoyance. “Excuse me, sir? Sir! We’re sitting here. Okay?”

  But the guest was so wide-eyed with shock and so pale he was almost powder blue. They relented and allowed his inebriated friend to join them. “There doesn’t appear to be assigned seating.”

  He smiled graciously, maneuvering his incapacitated stooge into a black leather chair. “Thank you. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Phinneas and this is Walter.”

  The older of the two male guests extended his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Phinneas. I’m David McCauley.”

  The younger man gave Walter a slow, narrow look, but extended his hand to both newcomers. “Nice to meet you.”

  Phinneas noticed the exchange and cleared his throat. “You’ll have to pardon my friend here. Walter spends much of his time at work and doesn’t have many nights where he can let loose like this.”

  David belted out a hearty laugh, “Boy, do I know how that is.”

  “What is it you do, Mr. McCauley?”

  “Mr. McCauley was my father, and my father before him. You can call me David. I’m a government farmer here on Armaros.”

  “I would think that farming is lucrative in a controlled environment such as this.”

  David nodded and gulped his red wine. “Oh, it is. It really is. But Anthony here just got elected to the council. This kid is going places.”

  Anthony smiled with false modesty. “It’s really nothing.”

  David examined Phinneas’ features. “Where are you from, Phinn?”

  Phinneas cringed at the shortening of his name, but this simple man wasn’t worth the reprimand. This was a recon mission and Phinneas was determined to complete it, even if it meant suffering the idiocy of an obnoxious farmer and a drunk stooge. “I’m from a little of everywhere.”

  “What do you do for a living?”

  Phinneas paused and measured his words carefully before speaking. He angled a wrist so the camera in his cuff links could capture the young woman in the green dress. “I’m in the import and export business. Mostly precious cargo.”

  “Precious cargo,” David playfully elbowed Phinneas in the ribs, “like explosives?”

  Phinneas felt indignation rise in him. He thought, You better be damn worth it, my gilded lily. He forced a smile. “No, not explosives. It can be quite volatile, but we haven’t yet had an explosion, per se.”

  David and his friends all laughed politely. Phinneas observed the young woman at a slot machine near the restroom. She was with a man and two young ladies, all of which appeared to be laughing. One of the young ladies did a victory strut of sorts around her machine. Phinneas continued to take pictures with his cuff link cam.

  David gesticulated in Jayne’s direction. “Why do you keep looking over there?”

  Phinneas’ blood froze over with subverted rage and revulsion. You are a disgusting, simple machine, he thought before bothering to reply. “I keep trying to find a waitress. Walter needs water, but he’ll never order it himself. He hates that it isn’t alcohol, you see.”

  David nodded and laughed in understanding as he waved his arm in the air. “Excuse me? Miss?”

  An AI server wearing a tight sequined dress came to the table. “Yes? How may I help you?”

  “Looks like we’re at the point this evening where a round of waters will be helpful.”

  The server smiled and processed the order within the matrix of her operating and ordering system. “Absolutely. They’ll be right out. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

  “No, thank you.”

  The server nodded and walked to the nearest bar. Phinneas noticed she had a realistic wiggle to her hips as she did so. It both terrified and aroused him.

  David playfully elbowed Phinneas in the ribs again. “She’s cute for a fish.”

  Fish was a rather crude term for Artificial Intelligence. It was a term Phinneas hated, but David’s use of it did not surprise him. He barely suppressed the urge to chop David’s windpipe with the blade of his hand. He again forced a smile. “Yes. She is very attractive.”

  Phinneas continued his observation as the simpletons talked about simple things amongst themselves.

  +++

  Governor’s Mansion, L80, Theron Techcropolis, Armaros

  Jayne watched with amusement as Matt’s short, female coworker strutted around the slot machine. She applauded, along with everyone else in the group. Matt’s coworkers were surprisingly friendly and eager to introduce their token spy friend to everyone they could find. Jayne chuckled to herself. So this is how James Bond got so many girls.

  Jayne had long since switched from Blue Mondays to ice water. It was a precaution against hangovers but also a measure against spilling too many beans. She noticed Matt’s companions were getting sloppier and felt reassured realizing she was gaining the upper hand.

  The diminutive coworker pointed at Jayne, one eyelid drooping towards closed. “You look so young. How did you become a spy?”

  Jayne graciously accepted her ice water from the server. “If I told you that, I’d have to kill you.”

  He nodded approvingly at the joke. “Well, what does a spy agency do? Broad strokes.”

  “We use our skills to help people or groups who are being harassed or… bullied. To put it simply. We help them learn the truth and defend themselves.”

  The pocket coworker’s glassy eyes grew huge. “You’re, like, a superhero then!”

  Jayne laughed. A superhero? What a dork.

  This group was fun, but more importantly they introduced Jayne to several councilmembers as their “spy friend”. Each interaction was getting more and more comfortable, like the role-plays she did while in the Academy, but Jayne was feeling restless. “Time to mingle.”

  “Awwww,” Matt’s coworker whined, “you just got here!”

  Jayne clasped both of her hands sincerely and smiled. “It was so great to meet you, but I need to get back to business. I had fun.”

  “Okay, okay. It was nice to meet you, Super-Secret Agent Jayne.”

  Jayne felt energized as she walked towards a bar. I think Merry would be proud.

  She noticed a man with surprisingly fashionable long black hair, sipping a martini at a nearby display for the charity receiving the proceeds from the ball. Jayne rolled her shoulders back and rode her recent wave of confidence as she approached him. He scrolled through an informational screen in front of the roulette wheel.

  Jayne pointed at the informational screen. “That’s a great cause.”

  The man looked up, startled. Jayne noticed his white suit jacket appeared to be cut in a style popular in a neighboring star system, Telluride-Burgess 17. “Oh! I didn’t see you there. Yes, this cause is the main reason I’m here.”

  She studied him for insight into his personality and background. Jayne fixated on what looked to be a platinum brooch on his lapel. “Oh, your brooch is lovely, so refined. Is it a family crest?”

  He instinctively touched the crest and smiled. “Yes. My family’s crest. I’m from a very proud line. Very old. We can trace our family back to nineteenth century earth, actually.”

  Jayne smiled approvingly and extended her hand. “I’m Jayne Austin. Whom do I have the pleasure of meeting?”

  The man laughed and kissed her hand, “Your manners are as beautiful as you are, Ms. Austin. I’m Anders Octavia.”

  Her heart raced, but Jayne felt completely at ease at the same time. “So what do you do, Mr. Octavia? For a living I mean.”

  His smile was simultaneously debonair and sincere. “Anders,
please. I mostly work for the family business, but I’ve been branching out lately. I want to get involved in more philanthropic pursuits.”

  She coyly sipped her drink, making eye contact over it as if it were a nineteenth century parlor fan. “I see…”

  Anders appeared to dismiss his statement with a wave of his hand. “But that’s stuffy and probably very boring. What do you do, Ms. Austin?”

  She smiled, “Please, call me Jayne. I own a small spy agency.”

  He raised his eyebrow and nodded slowly and approvingly. “You don’t say? Paranoid husbands, that sort of thing?”

  “No, actually.” She was insulted, at first, but suspected he was teasing her. “We use our skills to help people. I’m confident we’re the most creative spies in the business.”

  “A private detective agency?”

  “Yes and no. We perform some of the same functions, but I’d say we go a little farther when it comes to helping people level the playing field.”

  Anders took a business card out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Jayne. “Please call me sometime. I may have a situation that… needs leveling. Do you have a card?”

  Jayne fished through her clasp before she realized she did not have any business cards. “I thought I had one… I… must’ve dropped mine on my way out. Oh no. Sorry. These dresses aren’t the easiest to get on—” Jayne looked up at Anders with heavy eyelids, “or off.”

  Anders caught himself in a nervous laughter. Suddenly, Jayne’s comm went off.

  “This is work. Will you excuse me?”

  Anders nodded.

  Jayne opened her comm. “Hey Merry. Your timing is great. What’s up?”

  “Get back here now!”

  “Can I change first?”

  “No!”

  Jayne sighed as she closed her comm. She called for a cab on her handheld as she headed towards the door.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Theron Techcropolis Gateway Building, L45, Theron Techcropolis, Armaros

  Jayne noticed her feet felt hot and swollen from wearing high heels as she arrived at the office. She waved her hand in front of the sensor and the door slid open.