The Resort

by M J Hardy

  They all giggle and I wonder if this is what married life does to you. Familiarity breeds contempt it seems and yet imagining myself married to Ben, just leaves me with a warm feeling inside. I wonder if that’s his end goal. Striking up a relationship and seeing it through to the end. Perhaps he intends on seducing me and then asking me to be his wife. It wouldn’t surprise me, after all, he did say that marriage was his next project. Thinking of myself as a potential project as such, doesn’t bother me like it should. I’m old enough to know that love is a game of chance. Some win earlier than others, but Ben would certainly be worth the wait. Just imagining this as my life leaves me feeling impatient to get on with it and thinking about the evening ahead, makes me feel warm inside.

  “So, Emma, tell us some more about your date tonight.”

  They all look at me expectantly as Chloe smiles her encouragement.

  “Well, I was just thinking about that as it happens.”

  “I bet you were.”

  Evelyn grins and I giggle like a schoolgirl.

  “I mean, what would you do, what if he wants to get intimate, it’s only been two days, should I let him?”

  “NO!”

  “YES.”

  Chloe shakes her head, and both Kim and Evelyn nod vigorously. Chloe groans. “Don’t get me wrong, part of me thinks you should go for it. After all, opportunities don’t normally come around like this, but what if it ends here, on this island? Would you be able to live with that?”

  “Probably.” I grin at the other women, who look as if they know where I’m coming from.

  “Don’t get me wrong, Chloe, I’m no vestal virgin, I’ve been around the block a few times and have needs as much as any man.”

  Chloe looks resigned and mumbles, “I suppose, although I’m thinking with my mother’s hat on. You see, I have a sixteen-year-old daughter who I would be horrified thinking about in your position. Not that I’m comparing you to her, I mean, you are older and more than capable of making the right decision for you, but she’s impressionable and would probably make the wrong choice.”

  “Haven’t we all at some point in our lives?”

  Evelyn looks a little sad. “How can you learn unless you make mistakes? I’ve made several over the years and quite honestly, I wish life came with a manual sometimes.”

  “Or a crystal ball.”

  Kim sounds pensive, and I wonder about the two women who appear to have life pretty much worked out from where I’m sitting.

  “So, given your experiences, what would you suggest for me?”

  “Only you can answer that question.” Kim smiles.

  “If you want to take things further, do so with the understanding that it may not go anywhere. Don’t do it hoping for more because if it fizzles out, you will be disappointed in yourself.”

  Evelyn nods. “Yes, just enjoy the moment and accept that if it leads somewhere, it’s a bonus but don’t let passion fool you, think about when that passion fades, because it will you know. Maybe not now, not next year even, but somewhere in the future, it will die a slow death if the man you’re with is not the right one for you.”

  She looks so sad it makes us all take a moment, and it’s obvious from the looks on the women’s faces that they share the same knowledge. Maybe this is what happens. Perhaps the initial excitement does wear off, but at least I would be rich and disillusioned instead of trying to make ends meet and worrying about where the next meal is coming from. I’m guessing Evelyn knows about that because she obviously married money and at least Ben is way more attractive than her husband. Yes, I’m going for it because this relationship could be the goose that lays the golden egg and it would be no hardship because I wasn’t lying, Ben is a dream come true.

  Once lunch is over, it signifies the end of our pamper morning and I decide to head to the pool for a spot of sunbathing. A couple of the others join me and I see Chloe greet her partner as he calls her over.

  It warms my heart to see their obvious pleasure in each other’s company, and I hope they do get married one day. Maybe I can put in a good word for them with Ben. Perhaps he can arrange a wedding at the last minute as an advert for his resort. I feel quite upbeat as I think of suggestions to help his business. Maybe it will reinforce the fact we were meant to be together. I should pull out all the stops because now I have this chance, I must seize it with both hands.

  Chapter 32

  Evelyn

  I decide to head to my room after lunch for a siesta. I’m feeling quite tired and just hope Charles isn’t there and I can relax on my balcony and get some peace.

  As I walk through the marbled hallway, I think back on a pleasant morning. Most surprising of all was Kim. I liked her. Just thinking of what I did with her husband makes me feel terrible and then to my horror, I see the man himself heading my way. I’m not sure what to do because despite the fact I regret what we did, he is still so incredibly attractive, I’m having a hard time doing the right thing in my mind.

  He stops just short of me and smiles and just like that, my principles desert me in a haze of lust.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi.” I blush and he steps closer.

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “You too.”

  He seems a little lost for words and then whispers, “I’m sorry about the other day, you know, in the town. I ignored you and I’m sorry about that but well, Kim, you know how it is.”

  “It’s fine, I was in the same position.”

  His gaze lingers for just a fraction and I see regret in his eyes as he says sadly, “I’m sorry things got a little out of hand in the lift, I hope you didn’t think badly of me.”

  I’m surprised and shrug. “Don’t be - sorry that is, I loved every minute.”

  He smiles and it sends a burst of heat through my entire body. For a moment we just stare at one another and I find myself gravitating towards him and I’m surprised when he steps back a little. The hurt must show on my face because he looks apologetic. “Listen, what happened in the lift was a mistake. A spur of the moment bad decision that I’ve felt guilty about ever since. I know you probably don’t believe me but I love my wife and never meant to hurt her. It’s just a good thing we never took it further, so let’s just put it behind us as a moment of craziness that got out of hand.”

  “Excuse me!”

  I stare at him in disbelief as he shrugs. “Listen, I’m sorry, it was one mistake, a kiss that should never have happened.”

  “A kiss. Do you really expect me to think of it as just a kiss? We did a lot more than that Jack and for quite some time if I remember.”

  “What are you talking about?” He looks surprised and I hiss. “Have you got amnesia or something? What about the gym, if I remember rightly, we did a lot more than kiss inside that cupboard? What’s the matter, Jack, do you have a selective memory, or just don’t want to admit to cheating on your wife twice in the same day?”

  “Listen, I don’t know what your problem is but…”

  “My problem.”

  He steps away as I stare at him with fury blazing from my eyes. “We had sex, Jack and you enjoyed every minute of it judging by the sounds coming from you. Don’t try to deny it because I was there – remember.”

  Jack looks worried and if anything, I feel used and snarl, “Just fuck off, Jack, guys like you make me sick inside. You got what you wanted and now you’re covering your tail. Get out of my way, I never want to see you again.”

  I make to leave and his hand stops me and he says in disbelief, “It wasn’t me, Evelyn, I wasn’t near the gym that night. I argued with Kim and went for a walk, ending up in the bar.”

  A cold feeling seeps through my veins as my world crashes and burns. Turning slowly, I look at him in horror and say weakly, “It wasn’t you?”

  He looks worried. “I promise on my life, it wasn’t me, why do you think it was?”

  Closing my eyes, the full horror of my situation hits me. If it wasn’t Jack, then who did I have sex
with so violently in the cupboard that night?

  Somehow, I break away and walk back to my room. Jack doesn’t try to stop me and I can’t even look him in the eye. As I walk, images of that night return to haunt me. The way he came at me from behind. The hand wrapping around my throat and the whispered husky voice. ‘You’re a naughty girl.’

  I thought it was Jack. I thought it was what we had arranged. It didn’t even occur to me it could be anyone else.

  Shame washes over me as I remember what I did. What he did because I made it easy for him. The thought of him inside me makes me choke back a sob. I was so incredibly stupid and allowed something to happen that is wrong on every level. I don’t doubt Jack for a second. The horror on his face told me everything I needed to know. My heart is racing out of control as I think about who it could have been. Was it Charles, did he follow me and punish me for daring to argue with him? He’s been on edge ever since we arrived, something’s definitely up with him and I can’t put my finger on it.

  Frantically, I think of who else it could be. Someone who works here perhaps, another guest. Surely it wasn’t Chloe’s husband. He seems so nice, so normal. What about the creepy man I catch staring at me, making me feel uncomfortable under his gaze? A feeling of despair creeps through me as I realise I will probably never know. I doubt I’ll be able to look Charles in the eye, because what if it was him? He knows what I did and it would explain his altering mood and the looks he gave Kim. Maybe he saw me in the lift and somehow found out about our plan to meet. It can be the only explanation.

  As soon as I reach the room, I’m grateful to find Charles missing. Quickly, I race to the shower and scrub my body hard. I know it’s too late, but I can’t shift the feeling of his hands on me. The rough way he handled my body and the pleasure it gave him. Thinking back, I was so stupid - I never saw his face. It all added to the mystery, the excitement, and I loved how forbidden it was. I had sex with a stranger – possibly. I feel so dirty, used, and like a cheap whore. Then again, I shouldn’t feel any different because in my mind I was unfaithful to my husband and loved every minute of it.

  There is that moment when something so shocking happens it takes a moment for your brain to process the information. A few minutes grace while it works it all out, giving you time to sit and breathe. A shocked state of disbelief when the full horror of your situation doesn’t quite hit you yet, and that’s exactly how Charles finds me. Sitting on the bed, staring at nothing. Trying hard to piece back together the jagged pieces of a broken life.

  I hear him come in but I don’t look up and he grumbles, “Well, that’s a morning I’m never getting back. You know, next time I would rather wrestle sharks than be bored out of my mind, stuck on a boat with the likes of them. Drinking beers and talking about sport, typical stereotypes. You know…”

  Suddenly, he stops and I hear a terse, “What the fuck…”

  His tone makes me look up and for the first time since I met him, I see Charles looking shell shocked. He has gone red and his breathing is all over the place. I almost think he’s having a heart attack as he makes a strange gurgling sound and I say fearfully, “What is it, Charles, what’s wrong?”

  He holds up his hand and just stares at his phone and an uneasy feeling creeps over me. Does this involve me and what I’ve done, has someone told him, has he found out?

  He says nothing and turns on his heel and heads for the door and I say fearfully, “Charles, you’re scaring me, what’s happened?”

  “Not now, Evelyn, I can’t deal with you right now.”

  He wrenches open the door and leaves, slamming it hard behind him and I’m left staring at the plain wood, feeling my heart rate increase to dangerous levels.

  What’s happening?

  Chapter 33

  Kim

  Jack finds me lying by the pool and drops a light kiss on my lips. “Hey.”

  He settles down on the sun lounger next to me, and I wonder what sort of mood he’ll be in now. I’m starting to lose track of them, but it appears he had a good morning because he looks rested and content and the smile he gives me settles my heart a little.

  He starts rubbing in the sunscreen and says in a low voice, “I’m sorry, Kim.”

  “Are you?” My voice is cold because the last conversation we had wasn’t pleasant and I’m not sure where we stand now.

  He nods and whispers, “I’ve had some time to think and I haven’t been fair on you. I’ve been blaming you for something that’s my problem, and all you’ve done is be the supportive wife that I really don’t deserve. If I’ve made things difficult for you, I apologise, but it’s hard for me to deal with sometimes.”

  “It must be.” I sit up and face him and note the emotion in his eyes as he stares at me and says huskily, “I don’t want to lose you, darling, you’re the best part of me and I couldn’t face this on my own.”

  “Face what?”

  “Life, the future, my problems. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Then stop shutting me out, Jack, stop making it hard for me to talk to you. You blow hot and cold and I don’t know what side of you I’m dealing with most of the time. If I’m honest, I’m struggling to understand you and yet…” Reaching out, I take his hand and smile. “I love you.”

  He smiles and once again everything’s alright. He’s back, the man I fell in love with, who has so many demons inside him, it’s difficult to deal with.

  He nods and says regretfully, “Forgive me?”

  “Of course, I always do.”

  He grins and I see a little of his arrogance return as he switches back to the cocky man who tramples over my heart on a daily basis.

  “So, how was your morning?”

  “Lovely, thank you. What about yours?”

  “It was ok, I guess. There was only the three of us in the end. That guy over there, John, I think his name was. He seemed quite decent really, he supports Arsenal, so we had that in common at least.”

  I roll my eyes and he laughs. “Charles was there too; you know he was seriously boring. He wouldn’t stop looking at his phone and appeared anxious because he couldn’t get a signal. He kept on asking when we were getting back and was brooding on something.”

  “Maybe he had work to do, I think he’s here on business, anyway.”

  “Oh yes, I forgot you were close.”

  Jack’s mood switches again as he stares at me angrily, and I sigh. “Listen, Charles was there when you were not. When you left me on the beach that night I was upset and when I walked back, I took a different route. I felt as if someone was following me and I got scared. I ran into Charles and he was kind and helped me calm down, got me a brandy and sat with me for a while.”

  “This is the first I’ve heard of it. Who was following you?”

  “I’m not sure if anyone was, but it felt like it at the time. It was dark, and I was emotional. It was a strange place, and you had stormed off.”

  He sighs heavily. “So, it was my fault again. It’s no wonder we argue, honestly, Kim, I always feel as if you’re judging me.”

  Counting to ten in my mind, I fight the frustration. This is typical Jack, throwing accusations and deflecting the blame onto me.

  He lies back on the sun lounger and an uneasy feeling creeps over me. Do I even like him anymore, let alone love him? I’m not sure how I feel because outside of the sexual attraction, I’m not sure if there’s anything else.

  Looking across at Chloe and John, I see him rub sunscreen on her back and she laughs, the joyous sound carrying across the pool towards me, showing me that companionship, friendship and togetherness are much more important than the physical side of a relationship.

  As I lie back on the sun lounger and the warm rays of the sun hit me, I try not to face the fact that my marriage is heading only one way.

  Later that afternoon, we head back to our room and Jack is acting as if nothing is wrong. He seems playful in fact as he grabs my hand and tal
ks about his day, but I can’t seem to shake my mood at all. Do I even like him anymore? I’m not sure that I do because all I can see in my mind is the side of him I hate.

  We notice a board in reception and stop to take a look.

  You are invited to a champagne reception tonight at 8pm in the bar.

  “Sounds good, this place could do with livening up.”

  Jack seems quite upbeat and grasps my hand tightly. “It’s been a while since we had a night out. Should be good.”

  “Yes, it should.”

  We carry on walking to our room and he says huskily, “Let me make it up to you, darling, you know I’m better showing rather than telling.”

  He winks, and it strikes me that he’s probably right. He’s never been good with words, using them more to inflict pain than to reassure, and yet in bed he’s always been a master. Maybe this is what we both need, the intimacy that the physical side of a relationship creates, so I nod. “I can’t wait.”

  However, as we stumble into the room and Jack pulls me in for a deep kiss, this time it feels as if I’m going through the motions because this is just sex. It’s meaningless because there’s no substance to our relationship. There is actually nothing else, no shared dreams, no sense of a future with a family and the pleasure that gives you. No common goal other than sex and then separate lives. I don’t want this anymore and I’m not sure if I want him either because I am fast realising you can actually love and hate someone at the same time but will I be strong enough to walk away and where will I go?

  Chapter 34

  Chloe

  It’s good to have John back by my side. He obviously had a good time because he’s playful and rested and seems less tense. After a lovely couple of hours sunbathing, we decide to go for a walk on the beach and it feels good holding his hand with the soft breeze from the ocean cooling our heated skin.