Wands Upon A Time (Spellbound Ever After Paranormal Cozy Mystery Book 3)

by Annabel Chase

  “I don’t care if you were telling her that you were about to keel over and die,” Marjory said. “This is precisely why I believe the name change is imperative. You’ve created a culture of disrespect and undisciplined behavior.” I opened my mouth to tell her that I needed to go, but she held up a hand. “I’m not finished yet, Ms. Hart. In my day, we didn’t speak until we were given leave to do so. It’s this complete disregard for authority that needs to be addressed.”

  “But….” I began.

  “You see? A rebel rouser.” She folded her arms triumphantly. “What do you have to say for yourself, Ms. Hart? Another excuse?”

  I stood to leave, but it was too late. Before I could stop myself, I emptied the contents of my stomach all over her powder blue pumps. The dogs scampered away, whimpering. When I dared to look up, the High Priestess wore a pinched expression. To her credit, she calmly pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to me.

  “You have dribble on your chin,” she said. Then she produced her wand to remove the offensive upchuck from her shoes and the surrounding area. “Let’s continue, shall we? We still have lots to get through this morning.”

  I stared after her, clutching the handkerchief. I really didn’t want to make an adversary of Marjory Limpet. I had a sinking feeling that she was going to be an even tougher opponent than the formidable Lady Weatherby.

  Another wave of nausea attacked my stomach, but I knew that, this time, it had nothing to do with the baby.

  Chapter Two

  Come quickly! Sedgwick’s voice rang out in my ears. I was halfway home from the academy, still reeling from my performance. I was thankful to be on foot because I desperately needed fresh air to clear my head—now that my stomach was taken care of.

  “Where are you?” I called.

  My familiar alighted on a nearby tree branch. I need you to see this. I didn’t think owls could pant, but Sedgwick was doing a pretty good job of it right now.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  There’s a dead body in the Enchanted Woods, he replied.

  I squinted at him. “Are you sure?”

  His round eyes glared at me. There is nothing wrong with my eyesight, Your Highness. If you’re too busy sauntering through town without a care in the world….

  “Of course not. Show me the way.” I left the pavement and followed Sedgwick as he flew overhead, swooping down every now and again to stay within sight. I climbed over logs and pushed through brambles until I reached a small clearing. Sure enough, a body was flat on its back. The closer I got, I could see that he was an elderly elf. His eyes were closed, as though he’d gone down for a nap in the middle of the forest. He wore binoculars around his neck and there was a notebook in the dirt within reach. I crouched down to check his pulse. Nope, definitely dead. I didn’t want to touch anything. That would be a surefire way to annoy Sheriff Astrid.

  “I’ll wait here,” I told Sedgwick. “Can you please let Astrid know?” At this point, I knew the sheriff would follow Sedgwick without question.

  The owl flew off and I waited patiently, perched on the edge of a nearby log. I took the opportunity to study the older elf. Thinning white hair and a scruffy beard. A slight build, typical of elves. Nothing seemed amiss. No sign of a struggle.

  The Valkyrie sisters arrived together. I could hear the sheriff and deputy arguing before I glimpsed their silhouettes in the distance.

  “I would never cheat,” Britta was saying. “I like to beat you fair and square. It’s more satisfying that way.”

  “You can proclaim your innocence all you like,” Astrid replied, “but I know I can outrun you.”

  “What’s going on?” I asked, rising from the log.

  “We’ve been competing to see who can run five miles faster,” Astrid replied. “The deal was that we had to incorporate the different terrains in Spellbound, so part of the run is through town, then through woods, then we end up at Swan Lake.”

  “And I’ve won every time except one,” Britta added. “When I had to stop and arrest that guy. So, see? Not cheating. In fact, doing my job.”

  “You were running through much easier terrain than the Pines,” Astrid said. “No needles.”

  Britta coughed in protest. “If you’re going to downgrade my route, then maybe we should just run the same one.”

  “Um, excuse me?” I snapped my fingers. “Speaking of doing your job, the elf is there.” I motioned toward the clearing.

  Astrid eyed me. “Did you touch anything?”

  I folded my arms. “Do I look like an amateur to you?”

  “Yes,” Astrid and Britta said in unison.

  They inspected the scene and Astrid scribbled a few notes. Britta flipped through the elf’s notebook. “He was watching the birds,” the Valkyrie said. She waved the notebook at us. “He took a lot of detailed notes. Seems like he’s been doing this a long time.”

  “Any notes from today or yesterday?” Astrid asked.

  I shot a quick glance at the elf. “You think he might have been here all night?”

  “Judging from the state of the body, I do,” the sheriff replied.

  “And no one reported him missing?” That made me sad. I would hope that if I didn’t return home one night, Daniel would come out with torches blazing until he found me.

  Britta scanned the pages until she reached the last completed page in the book. “Yeah. Two birds dated yesterday. One he found very surprising.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I asked. What was surprising about a bird in the woods?

  “He didn’t seem to recognize it,” Britta said. “He wrote down a few characteristics, so that he could research it later.”

  “And now he’ll never know,” Astrid said. She gazed at him with a soft expression.

  “Sucks to be that guy,” Britta said.

  “Life is full of unanswered questions.” Astrid crouched over him. “Anyway, his time has come. Happens to all of us eventually. Elves aren’t among the longest living species.”

  “At least it was peaceful,” Britta said. “When Sedgwick came flying in, I was worried we’d find a dead body with strangulation marks or something.”

  I looked at her. “You see Sedgwick and your mind automatically goes to dark places?”

  “Can you blame me?” Britta asked. “You don’t exactly leave rainbows and unicorns in your wake.”

  “Hey!” I said. “I didn’t put the dead body here.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure natural causes did that.” Astrid removed the binoculars from around his neck. “I’ll notify next of kin.”

  “We need an ID first, dope,” Britta said.

  Astrid closed her eyes, summoning strength. “Isn’t it right inside the bird book?”

  Britta glanced down at the book and laughed. “How about that? Amos Parker.” She shook her blond head. “Sometimes I’m not sure I’m cut out for this job.”

  Astrid pressed her lips together. “Try not to admit that out loud. We need residents to have confidence in our abilities.”

  “Shouldn’t we wait for the examiner’s report before you settle on natural causes?” I asked.

  Astrid chuckled. “There’s the lawyer in you popping out. Not to worry, Emma. When a body is found in the woods, I’ll send it for examination, even when the deceased is old and there are no signs of trauma.”

  “SOP,” Britta added. “Standard Opinion Police.”

  Astrid heaved a sigh. “Almost, Britta. It’s Standard Operating Procedure.”

  Without warning, my head started to spin and I pressed a hand against the nearest tree trunk to keep myself from keeling over.

  “Emma?” Astrid rushed to my side. “Do we need to get you to a healer?”

  “No, thanks,” I said. “I already have an appointment tomorrow.” I drew a couple of deep breaths until I felt better.

  “Why?” Britta asked. “Are you sick?” She backed away slowly, as though I might pass along my disease.

  My hands instinct
ively rested on my stomach. “What I have isn’t contagious.” Although the idea was entertaining.

  Astrid and Britta exchanged glances. “Is it stress?” Astrid asked. “You always have so much going on.”

  “You’re splitting up with the angel, aren’t you?” Britta ventured.

  My mouth fell open. “Splitting up? Why would you say that? We only just got married.”

  Britta shrugged. “I don’t know. I figured maybe you got tired of him. He’s a dude. I would totally understand.”

  I laughed. “Are you tired of Paisley yet?” Paisley was a witch in my coven and Britta’s girlfriend.

  “No,” Britta replied, “but Paisley’s not a dude. Point made.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not splitting up with Daniel. Everything’s wonderful, in fact.”

  “Sounds like the kind of thing someone would say when they’re secretly miserable,” Britta replied.

  I squinted. “We’re having a baby. That’s the news.” I winced. I hadn’t intended to tell anyone else yet. Too late now.

  Britta fist bumped me. “That’s awesome, Emma. No wonder you look like garbage.”

  Astrid gave my shoulder a gentle punch. “This is huge news. Congrats to both of you.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “I’m trying to keep this under wraps until I have my first appointment with the healer’s clinic tomorrow.”

  “Got it,” Astrid said, pretending to zip her lip.

  “Hopefully, everything’s good and I’ll start sharing publicly,” I said.

  “I’m sure it is,” Astrid said. “You’re young and healthy.”

  “And Daniel has angel sperm,” Britta added.

  Her sister laughed. “I picture these little swimmers with white wings. Adorable.”

  “Not sure that’s entirely accurate,” I said.

  “Who cares?” Britta replied. “Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.”

  My gaze drifted to the clearing. “I feel guilty for celebrating this new life when someone else’s just ended.”

  Astrid followed my gaze to the elderly elf on the ground. “Circle of life, Emma. Circle of life.”

  “These are going to be the worst sessions ever,” Dr. Catherine Hall moaned, smacking her forehead.

  “Try not to exaggerate.” I sat in my usual place in my vampire therapist’s office—the red velvet wingback chair. Anything I said in this room was confidential, so I figured now was a good time to break the news of my pregnancy. If my healer’s appointment didn’t go well for some awful reason, I’d want to discuss the events with my therapist. Might as well clue her in now. Needless to say, she wasn’t taking it well.

  “This is not an exaggeration,” she said. “I’m a vampire. I don’t do well with change.”

  “That’s all you experience is change,” I said. “It’s inevitable the longer you live!”

  Dr. Hall poured me a hot water with lemon and thrust the mug into my hand. “Are you sure you can’t manage one drink per week? I doubt the baby will come to any harm.”

  I gaped at her. “I’ve just told you we’re having a baby and that’s your response?”

  She shrugged as she moved behind the bar. “Babies are nothing special. They happen every day.” She wagged a finger at me. “Now, hatch that baby out of your skull and we’ll have something to talk about.”

  Absently, I touched my head. “I’d rather keep my skull intact, thanks.”

  “Oh, but you’re more than willing to rip your uterus apart.” She rolled her eyes. “Hypocrite.”

  I winced. “Can we maybe not talk about the birth? I think you’re going to traumatize me.”

  She waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, honey. That’s what therapy is for.”

  “Um, no,” I replied. “Pretty sure therapy is to help me work through trauma, not cause more.”

  Dr. Hall blew a raspberry. “You say blood mobile; I say snack van.”

  My brow creased. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Does to a vampire.” She folded her arms and regarded the bottles of liquor on the bar. “How will I make you interesting without alcohol?”

  I heaved a sigh. “No one is stopping you from drinking during our sessions,” I said. “You’re not the pregnant one.”

  She wiped her brow. “That’s true. Thank the devil.” She began to whistle as she prepared herself a drink. “What’s on your mind today? Any nightmares? Indigestion?”

  “My father,” I said simply.

  Dr. Hall’s hand hovered over the drink. “You finally want to discuss your father?”

  I clasped my hands in my lap. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents, now that I’m about to become one myself.”

  The vampire contemplated me. “I suppose that’s normal.” She used air quotes for the word ‘normal.’

  “I think it would be nice to know more about him,” I said. “What if the baby takes after him? We won’t even know it.”

  “And what if it does and you don’t know?” Dr. Hall asked. “Who cares?”

  “I care,” I said. “And please don’t refer to my baby as ‘it.’ That makes me uncomfortable.”

  “Why?” She sipped her cocktail. “Do you think I’ll mistake it for food if I don’t assign it a gender?”

  I pointed at her. “You did it again. Knock it off.”

  “When you have a gender or a name, I’ll stop,” she said. “In the meantime….”

  “Just say ‘the baby,’” I told her. “Or pick a gender. You can be wrong. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Obviously, it’s a girl,” Dr. Hall said. “Because we’re the best.” She sucked down more of her drink. “Arrogant Bitch is also the best. It’s a shame you can’t have any for such a long time. Like torture.”

  “It’s hardly torture.” And Dr. Hall would know better than anyone. She’d endured torture as a young vampire—a story that nearly broke my heart when she’d revealed it. “Gareth has been jotting down a list of permitted items. He’s taking this pregnancy very seriously.”

  “That vampire needs a hobby,” she said.

  “He has one,” I said. “Me.”

  She tapped her glass. “A more interesting hobby then?”

  I stuck out my tongue. “He’s going nuts making the house safe for the baby.”

  “And making you safe for the baby, it sounds like.”

  “I guess so.” I smiled. “It’s nice that he’s invested.”

  Dr. Hall examined me closely. “Nice…or annoying? Knowing Gareth, my money’s on annoying.”

  “I didn’t have anyone to fuss over me,” I said. “My grandparents weren’t the fussing kind, so I appreciate the attention.”

  “You are something of an attention whore.” She dropped onto the sofa across from me.

  My eyes popped. “I am not! That’s a horrible thing to say.”

  Dr. Hall drank more of her cocktail. “At this time of day? I don’t say horrible things for at least another two hours. You should try a later appointment if you want to hear the good stuff.”

  I stiffened. “I really don’t, but thanks for the offer.”

  Dr. Hall sucked in her cheeks. “Ooh, she’s feisty when she’s knocked up. Me likey.”

  “I’m not feisty,” I said. I curled my legs up on the chair. “I’m a little unsettled. I found a dead elf in the woods today. Well, technically, Sedgwick found the body and alerted me.”

  Dr. Hall leaned forward, seemingly eager to hear more. “Did the elf get himself into trouble with wolves? Was there blood splattered everywhere?”

  I grimaced. “Ugh, no. He was old and looked quite peaceful, actually. Astrid is pretty sure it was natural causes.”

  The vampire peered at me. “You don’t sound convinced. Not every dead body has to equate to murder in this town, you know.”

  I rubbed my hand on the velvety arm of the chair. “I know. I’m not questioning it.”

  “I hate to give you credit for anything, but you tend to have a nose for these things. T
rust your gut, Emma, even with a baby on board.”

  I laughed. “I said I’m not questioning it.”

  “Sure you’re not.”

  “I’m thinking about taking a road trip to Lemon Grove soon. I thought I might do a little research on my biological father at the same time. Make an appointment with the Agency of Magical Forces to see what I can find out.” Ever since we broke the curse on Spellbound, I’d been considering a trip to my former hometown. I wanted to show Daniel where I grew up and where I lived when I first met him. I was also curious to see what my former landlord had done with my belongings. My guess was a sale on eBay.

  “If you ask me, Gareth is like your surrogate father,” Dr. Hall said. “You don’t need more than that.”

  “I don’t have a genetic link to Gareth,” I said. “It’s not the same.”

  Dr. Hall studied me. “Are you sure you want to know about your biological father? He’s not much good to you now. Can’t use him as a babysitter or anything if he’s dead.”

  “I don’t want to use him as a babysitter,” I said. “I want to know what he looked like. Whether he had any health issues that I might pass on to my baby.” I wrung my hands, feeling my anxiety level increasing. “What if he didn’t know about me? My mother gave me up to keep me safe, but what if my father had no idea that he had a child? I don’t know what the truth is.”

  The vampire pressed her lips together and I could tell she was about to say something she assumed I didn’t want to hear. “Your focus is in the wrong place, Emma. Think about the baby. Your future. Your father is the past. Knowing facts about him doesn’t change the present.”

  “I thought therapy was to understand your past traumas so that you could heal yourself.”

  “If you want someone to shovel that minotaur shit in your direction, head over to Thalia’s office,” she replied. “I don’t handle clingers.”

  “I don’t cling to anyone,” I objected.

  “You’re clinging to the past,” she said. “Let it go. You have a good life. An arguably hot husband. A baby on the way. More friends than you can shake a stake at. Isn’t that enough for you, Greedy Gertrude?”