Love Me Still

by E. L. Todd

  “I can’t do that,” I barked. “If you’re sick, I should be home with you. That wouldn’t make any sense.”

  “Then I’ll go and you say you’re sick.”

  “They just saw me today and I looked fine. Besides, they’re celebrating my promotion. If I can’t go, they’ll just rearrange for another night.”

  “Then I won’t go. I’ll say I already made plans with Trinity.”

  “That doesn’t make sense either,” I said. “They know you would blow her off for this.”

  She growled into the phone.

  “Besides, last time we got together I wasn’t there. If we keep showing up to things separately people are going to get suspicious.”

  “Well, I’m not ready to go public with our problems.”

  “I don’t want to discuss it either.”

  “Then what do we do?” she asked quietly.

  “We’re going to have to go—together.”

  She sighed like that was the last thing she wanted to do. “I don’t want to act like we’re in love and everything is just fine. Honestly, I don’t think I can do it.”

  That stung—bad. “It’s just for an hour.”

  “I don’t want you to touch me.”

  She broke my heart all over again. “I didn’t do it, Skye. You’re putting us through this for no reason.”

  “No, you’re putting us through this,” she hissed. “You destroyed the greatest thing that ever happened to me because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

  “I didn’t do it!” Why wouldn’t she just believe me?

  “Stop lying, Cayson. It makes it so much worse.”

  “I’m not lying.”

  She released a quiet scream into the phone. “I don’t want to do this.”

  “There’s no way out of it. Unless we want to tell them we’re having problems. We don’t have to go into detail.”

  “My parents will question me until I cave,” she said. “And then they’ll all hate you.”

  “My parents won’t.” I wasn’t afraid to tell them. “They’ll believe me.”

  Skye said nothing.

  “They know I would never do anything like that. And they know I never lie.”

  “Well, my dad will break both of your legs.”

  I knew I should be afraid of him but I wasn’t. He couldn’t make me feel worse than I already did. “He can do his worst.”

  “Let’s just go and get through this.”

  “You’re going to have to let me touch you.”

  “Absolutely not,” she hissed. “You touched Laura with those hands. You aren’t touching me again.”

  “I touched her when I threw her off of me. And that’s it.”

  “Drop the act.”

  “And if I don’t touch you they’ll know something is wrong.” She knew I was right.

  “Hand-holding. That’s it.”

  “Fine.”

  “I’ll meet you there.”

  “Are you stupid?” I blurted without thinking. “Don’t you think it’ll look weird if we show up separately?”

  “They won’t see us.”

  “Just let me pick you up. Remember, your parents live right next door.”

  “And you should pick up the rest of your shit while you’re here.”

  My bags were still in the entryway. I was doing everything I possibly could to stall. “I’ll pick you up at 6:30.”

  She hung up without saying goodbye.

  ***

  When she opened the door, she was wearing a tight black dress that highlighted the cute baby bump. She wore flats but her legs still looked long. Her hair was done in large curls, and the make up on her face highlighted every feature.

  Was she trying to kill me?

  “Let’s get this over with.” She shut the door and locked it behind her.

  I was lost in a trance as I stared at her. She was the single most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. How could she possibly believe I was with someone else when I had her?

  She shouldered her purse then walked to my truck.

  I didn’t say anything because I was tongue-tied.

  On the drive there, Skye turned on the radio then looked out the window. She didn’t make small talk with me. She let the tension rise inside the car, suffocating us both.

  Since there was nowhere for her to run, I resumed my attack. “I shouldn’t have allowed her to stay in my tent. That was my fault and I take full responsibility for it.”

  She turned my way, surprise in her eyes.

  “I did it to protect her, but I should have given my marriage priority. At the time, I thought she was harmless.”

  Skye continued to listen to me.

  At least I had her attention. “Laura and I talked a lot. Since we shared the tent together every night, friendship formed between us. I told her about you, but she always said negative things about you. She didn’t like the fact you worked for a corporation, and she kept questioning my judgment in marrying you. Right then, I should have gotten rid of her. That was my fault.”

  Skye didn’t interrupt me.

  “I guess it didn’t surprise me that she developed feelings for me. We were together all the time. It was bound to happen. I never felt anything toward her except friendship, if that. She was always a little stern and aggressive, and not in a good way. I was sleeping and having an amazing dream about you. We were in bed together and our mouths were glued. That’s when she kissed me. When I realized I felt something physical, it sent an alarm off in my brain. When my eyes opened, she was on top of me.” I gripped the steering wheel as I remembered it. “I’ve never been so angry in my life, Skye. I shoved her off of me and called her a whore. I threw her out of my tent and told her she was on her own. Hitting her even crossed my mind.”

  Skye returned her gaze out the window.

  “She and I didn’t speak for three weeks, and she avoided me like the plague. But then she apologized to me. I told her it meant nothing to me. The rest of the trip was tense until I finally forgave her for it. And that’s the end of the story.”

  Skye crossed her arms over her chest on top of her stomach.

  “That’s the truth. Nothing but the truth.” Why couldn’t she just believe me instead of that stupid letter? “Laura claimed she felt something when we kissed and she assumed I felt the same way. I told her I was happily married and all I felt was disgust when she touched me. When we said goodbye to each other in London, all I did was shake her hand. And that’s when she put the letter in my bag. She still had some irrational hope that we could be something someday. And I think she put that note in there on purpose in the hope you would find it and leave me.”

  “So you could go back to her,” she said coldly. “Mission accomplished.”

  I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “I don’t want her or any other woman. I want my wife—the person I want to love for the rest of my life.”

  “Wife is a strong word…especially when vows are meaningless to you.”

  There was no light at the end of this tunnel.

  “I think you fell in love with her and were going to leave her for me until you realized I was pregnant.”

  I wanted to rip the steering wheel from the dashboard. “That makes no fucking sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense.”

  “If that were the case, why would I be here now? Why wouldn’t I just leave the moment you found that note?”

  “Because you have a son. And you’ll never leave him.”

  “You just told me you would never keep him from me. So that doesn’t add up.”

  Skye kept her gaze glued to the window.

  “Why would we have spent the last month together falling more in love than ever before if I were hung up on some other woman? You can’t deny that, Skye. You were there. You felt it too.”

  “I don’t know what I felt.”

  I wanted to strangle her. “You’re making the biggest mistake of your life, Skye. I didn’t do it. I’
m an innocent man.”

  “Stop talking, Cayson.” She turned up the music.

  I gripped the steering wheel again and tried not to drive off the road.

  ***

  After we parked the truck, we walked to the restaurant. I grabbed her hand like always.

  The second she felt me she shivered like my touch disgusted her. She even cringed like she stuck her hand in a jar full of bugs.

  I sighed in irritation and kept my comments to myself.

  “They’re probably already here. Just act like we’re in love.”

  “We are in love,” I said darkly.

  We entered the restaurant and spotted our parents together. They were drinking and laughing, having a great time without us. I forced a smile on my lips even though it was physically painful.

  “They’re here.” Mom raised her glass and smiled.

  “Director of the CDC.” Dad nodded as he said it. “It rolls right off the tongue.”

  “It’s nice to see you.” I embraced both of my parents then moved to Sean and Scarlet. They showered me with love just like my own parents. If they thought I cheated on their daughter, I would be sick. The disappointment and rage would burn in their eyes, and I would never see that look of love again.

  I pulled out the chair for Skye then helped her sit down. She allowed me to touch her and didn’t seem repulsed.

  “Awe,” Mom said. “You’re glowing, Skye.”

  “Thank you.” Skye felt her stomach with her hand.

  “So beautiful,” Scarlet said. “Pregnancy suits you.”

  “I do love eating,” Skye teased. Her voice didn’t carry the way it used to, and I hoped I was the only one who noticed.

  I took advantage of our situation and put my arm around her shoulders and sat as close to her as possible. I hadn’t touched my wife in weeks, and being this close to her was a treat. I could smell her hair and her fragrance.

  Skye didn’t react, but I knew she didn’t like the closeness.

  “So, tell us about work,” Mom said.

  I launched into a boring narrative about my job and responsibilities. They all seemed interested even though I was bored just listening to myself. I loved my job but I didn’t expect anyone to understand why I enjoyed it so much. And lately I hadn’t been able to really appreciate my occupation because I lost the one thing that actually mattered.

  “You must be so proud of him,” Scarlet said to Skye.

  “I am.” Skye eyed her menu.

  “What are you getting, baby?” She didn’t allow me to call her that anymore, and now I got to do it all I wanted.

  She flinched slightly at the nickname but brushed it off. “Eggplant parmigana.”

  “Good choice. I’ll get the same.”

  We spent the rest of the evening talking about my new job. It was a safe topic so I didn’t mind. Then they asked about the baby.

  “Any names?” Scarlet asked.

  “No,” I answered. “We haven’t put much thought into it.”

  “But Slade wants us to name our first born after him.” Skye rolled her eyes.

  “That sounds about right,” Sean said with a laugh.

  “Decorated the baby’s room yet?” Mom asked.

  “We just started a few days ago,” I said. “We painted the room.”

  “How fun,” Scarlet said. “That’s always exciting.”

  Thankfully, Skye allowed me to participate. She was so mad at me that I wasn’t sure what she would allow me to do.

  We got through dinner and the tab arrived. Like always Sean and Dad fought over the bill.

  I turned to Skye and saw the pasta sauce in the corner of her mouth. A thought came to me, and I knew how much it would piss her off if I did it but I didn’t care. I went for it. “You have some sauce on your lip.”

  “I do?” She grabbed her napkin.

  I pressed my lips to hers and got it with my mouth.

  She stilled under the touch but didn’t swat me away or scream. She let the kiss go on until I finally pulled away. When I looked at her, I saw the threat in her eyes.

  She was pissed.

  I smiled in defiance.

  Now she was more pissed.

  The bill was squared and we said our goodbyes. Skye was in a hurry to get out of there because she was so angry. I hoped no one noticed just how irritated she was.

  We finally walked down the sidewalk and reached the truck one block away.

  She rounded on me instantly. “You piece of shit.” She slapped me hard across the face. “How dare you.”

  I took the hit and didn’t feel anything. I’d seen it coming so it wasn’t surprising.

  “You crossed a line.” She poked her finger into my chest. “That was wrong and you know it.”

  “I miss you.” I didn’t have any justification for what I did, and I understood the consequences before I made the action.

  “You miss me?” she shrieked. “You obviously didn’t miss me when you were in Ukraine or wherever the hell you were.”

  “I would apologize but I’m not sorry. I love you. You don’t have any idea how much I miss you.”

  She pushed me back violently. “I hate you, Cayson. And not in a joking way. I actually hate you and wish you would just disappear.”

  That broke me.

  Skye stared at my face with the same rage on her face. There was no remorse. “Now take me home.” She rounded the truck and headed to the passenger seat.

  I turned to the driver door when I saw Sean standing there.

  Shit.

  He held Skye’s purse, and judging the look on his face he saw everything.

  I stood still, unsure what to do.

  Sean cleared his throat before he stepped forward. “She left her purse…” He held it out to me.

  I took it and felt the adrenaline spike in my blood. What would he say? How much did he actually hear? Would Skye be interrogated tomorrow? “Thank you.”

  The earlier excitement in his eyes at dinner was gone. “Have a good night.”

  “You too.”

  He put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

  When I got into the truck, Skye looked mortified. “Did he see—”

  “Yes. He heard everything.” I handed the purse back to her.

  “Fuck,” she whispered under her breath.

  “He’ll ask you about it tomorrow. You should think about what you’re going to say. Maybe you should just tell him the truth if he hasn’t pieced it together already.”

  “No,” she said quickly. “I can’t.”

  “We won’t be able to keep this up forever.”

  “We won’t have to,” she said. “I don’t want anyone to know what really happened.”

  “Why? They probably won’t believe you anyway.”

  “They will,” she said. “And they’ll hate you.”

  “No, they won’t.”

  “I’ll tell them it didn’t work out because of work or something…marriages fall apart every day.”

  My heart rate spiked and my body suddenly felt cold. What did she just say? My heart somehow broke all over again. “This is going to work out, Skye. I know we’re struggling right now but we’ll get through it. Don’t talk like that.”

  “Get through it?” she asked. “What’s there to get through? You’re the one who threw this marriage away.”

  I clenched my jaw. “How many times do I have to say it? I. Didn’t. Do. It.”

  She shook her head and looked out the window.

  “And we’re so madly in love and meant for each other. You really think people are going to believe that we just called it quits after a few months? No wonder why you don’t believe me. You’re an idiot.”

  She didn’t rise to the insult. “I’ll think of something. Just take me home.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Slade

  I pushed the cart down the aisle as Trinity walked beside me. She wore nude pumps with a tight purple dress. The color looked great against her fair skin ton
e. I always noticed that when she wore purple thongs.

  She read the list in her hands. “Eggs…butter….beer.”

  I stopped listening to her because I saw the small section of toys in the aisle. There were dinosaurs that morphed into space rockets. “Cool!” I stopped pushing the cart then pulled the plastic box off the rack. “Baby, can I get this?”

  Trinity rolled her eyes and kept walking. “For you or Baby Thompson?”

  I shrugged in guilt.

  Trinity kept walking and moved down a different aisle.

  I didn’t care if I was a grown man. I was getting them. I threw them in the cart then examined the selection of Nerf guns. They had a new one with a motor and it shot at seventy miles an hour. I tossed that in the cart then moved the groceries on top of it so Trinity wouldn’t see until we got to the check out counter. Then she would be too embarrassed to tell me to put it back.

  I pushed the cart forward then looked for my hot wife in the store. She was probably in the beauty section looking at shit she didn’t need. I finally spotted her looking at the make up. A guy her age was a few feet away and giving her the eye.

  I don’t think so, man.

  I walked to the hygiene area and grabbed a box of Magnum condoms. Just when I looked up, I saw the guy make his move. I walked as quickly as I could without making it seem like I was running then reached Trinity before the guy could do any serious damage. “Let’s use these tonight, baby. Magnum is the only size that fits me.” I waved the box in front of the guy’s face so he would move on out.

  Trinity’s cheeks reddened like she was totally mortified.

  The guy looked confused. “Uh…I guess I’ll see you at work, Mrs. Sisco.” He walked away and put his hands in his pockets.

  Wait, he knew she was married?

  Trinity turned her wrath on me. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I thought he was hitting on you.”

  “Well, he wasn’t. He’s a guy from work. And if he was hitting on me I could have handled it.” She released a frustrated sigh. “I could kill you sometimes.”

  “What?” I asked with a shrug. “I had to claim my territory.”

  “Then what’s this for?” She held up her wedding ring. “I’m so embarrassed.” She stormed off back to the cart.

  I eyed the condoms in my hand then tossed them on a random shelf. We didn’t need them anyway.